Feedback on Some Ideas... Are any of these worth pursuing?

AdamC11779 · 08-15-2006, 02:23 PM

- Wish You Were Here: The life long story of a Nordic Man (Viking), who loses everything he loves, and sets sail alone to fulfill his childhood dream of finding the source of a foreign object that washed upon his shore. Risking his life he follows the only lead he has, an old sailors story of a great land across the sea. He crosses the Atlantic, and spends the rest of his life travelling down the coast of North America, across the plains and into Mexico. A human tale of loss, love, learning, and ultimately...death.

- Indigenous: When Europeans crossed the Atlantic and came to America, the native people welcomed them. Thier kindness was rewarded with treachery, deceit and violence. Thier culture was nearly obliterated. They lost nearly everything.
Now imagine, 100 years prior to thier arrival, a fleet of Japanese sepratists cross the Pacific and come to America. They are also welcomed. They are gracious to their hosts. The bring respect, knowledge and harmony. They infuse their culture with that of the indigenous people. The respect of the land... the discipline of the samurai. This unites the tribes, and springs forth a new nation. When the Europeans arrive, they are greeted with open arms. When their plans become obvious they are told they are not welcome, and this new nation can and will fight to keep its land, and preserve its integrity. The history of a new nation will be told... and the world will never be the same.

- Reason: (Short Story) A child is lost... a wife ends her life... and a man is left alone with his pain, his fury and one burning question. Why, God... Why? An angel hears his cries of outrage and takes it upon himself to show him the answer. But some questions are better left unanswered.... and when all is said and done, is there truly solace when you understand the reason why things happen the way they do.

- ECPD: (Read like a movie Preview) Gangs, Prostitution, Drugs, Murder. Crime is running rampant, and the goodly people of Oz fear for their lives. Corruption is around every turn, and the land over the Rainbow has had its glitter and shine stolen under the rule of two-faced politicians and a nefarious crime lord. But two hard-edged cops, with the street smarts and conviction to make a difference, are preparing to wage an all out war on the evil that is consuming Emerald City. SCARECROW ...DUH-DUH!! TINMAN.... DUH-DUH!!! Scum beware... the ECPD are on the scene! (Inspired by the fact that the Scarecrow carries a gun in the original movie...BADASS!!!) A one shot with all manner of cliche' and bad dialogue to be included.

- HACK: Journal Entries from a former B-list Villian. "When I was younger.... I used to be a bad guy. I knew this town in and out, and it made it easy for me to do what I did. I robbed banks, I endangered lives, I put on a costume and fought good guys. I got my ass handed to me more times that I care to think about. Eventually, I got hurt, and I got caught. 15 years I spent in a super prison. 15 years behind windowless walls. I did my time, they chipped me, and they set me free. A career super criminal. No money, no family...nothing. Now all I have is a crappy studio apt. in a bad part of town, my self loathing drowned in booze, and a cab I share with an old aquaintance. I still know this town in and out, and it makes it easy for me to do what I do."

Okay, those are just a few idea I have kicking around that are partially finished. The last 2 I just kinda came up with now... action/comedy and drama. Which of these should be fleshed out and scripted to completion...if any?

Trey of Diamonds · 08-15-2006, 02:50 PM

Greetings,

I took a look at your ideas and here are my thoughts. (Please the history references with a grain of salt. I am an amateur historian and very picky where most folks aren't)

- Wish You Were Here
This sounds good but be careful to get your history right if you want the work to be taken seriously. It might stand alone as an adventure story and even do well but to take it to the highest level will require a ton of historical research for accuracy. For example, the Norse were fairly knowledgeable about the lands to the west, or at least knowledgeable about their existence so your idea about a single story from an old sailor doesn’t wash.

- Indigenous
This one doesn’t work for me. The Japanese would be as bad or worse than the Europeans. At best they would consider the Native Americans to be a peasant class while they were the nobility and at worst they would enslave them. There is absolutely no historical precedents that point towards your supposed outcome. Still, very few comic readers are students of history and even fewer are as nitpicky as I am so while it doesn’t work for me, it could still be an industry winner.

- Reason
Doesn’t grab me but probably because it has been done many times.

- ECPD
This one I like but you have to be careful not to become just a copycat of the Fairy Tale series.

- HACK
This one has a lot of promise. I get a hard boiled Sam Spade feel from your description that is really intriguing.

Mike225 · 08-15-2006, 02:53 PM

Try keeping notes for all of them. It's how you get past writer's block. When you want to write a particular story, but can't, just write something else. That should get the words to flow, and you'll eventually have a body of work to shop around.

AdamC11779 · 08-15-2006, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jobberstable

Try keeping notes for all of them. It's how you get past writer's block. When you want to write a particular story, but can't, just write something else. That should get the words to flow, and you'll eventually have a body of work to shop around.

I dont get writers block.... ask my wife, I have half a dozen notebooks kicking around every room in my house, and stacks on bookshelves in my office. Some dating back to junior High school. Part of my problem is I keep coming up with new ideas, and I never get back to older ones.

Trey of Diamonds · 08-15-2006, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdamC11779

Part of my problem is I keep coming up with new ideas, and I never get back to older ones.

A problem we share.

AdamC11779 · 08-15-2006, 03:28 PM

Thanks for the quick and insightful feedback. I'll be sure to apply it to the development of any and all story ideas Im working on. I understand where you are coming from with some of your crits as well. Historical accuracies in Wish You Were Here are something I will strive for more than in Indigenous. I know that the Nordic Sailor were well aware of, and well traveled to the west, especially New Foundland and parts of the Canadian Coast. Much more research needs to be done, but like you said, not everyone is a history buff. I aim to entertain, not necessarily teach.
Same as in Indigenous. Please note I called them Japanese Separatists, implying that they perhaps had a different view of their role in the world and realtions with new cultures...maybe that kind of thinking prompted them to leave. Again, I look to make an entertaining "What if ?" scenario, as well as give the people who inhabited this land before we came an upper hand in the impending factual genocide eventually wrought upon them.
With Reason... I left it very vague, so the lack of feedback, or the belief that it has been done before is warranted, but not accurate, perhaps my description needs to be lengthier.
ECPD and Hack both came on the fly. I chose Scarecrow and Tinman to "fight" in a forum Movie Battle League as my 2 man team.... Undefeated. Plus the reinvention of Miami Vice caught my eye. I always wanted to do a buddy story too.
With Hack, well, I make edited game sprites as a hobby, and people are always making some of the most obscure characters you can think of, and ones you forgot about. That's Hack, a second stringer villian just living out the rest of his life in misery... I originally envisoned The Wrecker as the Hack, but as I understand, he's still fighting good guys in current comics. Truth be told, it can be any forgotten villian.

ampersand · 08-17-2006, 12:08 PM

Out of all of them, the only ones that personally interested me were Wish You Were Here and Hack. But then you've got to realise I tend to have bad taste with these things.

I agree with Trey of Diamonds on the historical accuracy - if you're serious about writing Wish You Were Here, a week-long trip to the library wouldn't go amiss. There's a ton of books about Viking culture. If you do your research, it could be great.

Hack could be pretty good - like The Colour of Money with supervillains. "I used to be a contender..."

Penchant · 08-17-2006, 03:58 PM

I think it'd actually be neat if you combined Wish You Were Here and Indigenous, and by "combine" I mean telling them in the same story, but separately, simultaneously, so that you could comment on each while weaving the complexities of them into a thought-provoking whole, a central thesis, if you will. Right now it seems the common link is a search for oneself outside of one's own country, which may be more pertinent now than at any point in history. Now it's so common we forget that it hasn't become any easier than it would have been when it was more rare. In many ways, it's harder because we're more familiar with the lands we may find ourselves in; we don't learn from the people, but from their reputation. We know more, and we're paralyzed.

But you're not reading this because you want such thoughts. You're reading because you want some confirmation. A search and a rise. I'm sure it could work.

Icaruss · 08-17-2006, 04:05 PM

Indigenous doesn't really work for me, because alternate realities don't seem right if they aren't set in the future. It could work if done right though, and if it focused on the story, rather than in the history. I mean, if you didn't even mention the backstory, and just kept the story going. That would be fine, I guess. Still, I don't like it as much as I like...

Wish You Were Here. This is great. A very good idea. You have to be carefull, though. Those kinds of stories tend to change into something that isn't particularly good, so try to keep your focus on the things important for the characters.

HACK also sounds great. But you should treat it with a comedic approach.

AdamC11779 · 08-21-2006, 12:15 AM

Thanks for all the great feedback. I'll try to keep all of this in mind as I progress forward with any/all of the stories.

Since Hack seems to be getting the most favorable reviews, look for the first 6 pages sometimes this week for criticism. Thanks again to all who replied.

storymask · 08-21-2006, 01:54 AM

I agree with the others on Hack. I like the angle your looking to take with an ex-super con back on the streets. Not sure the direction you want to go with him but that's the point of writing the story...

As for the others, I really liked the Oz idea but quite a few books have been done about it (meaning an oz gone bad):

Bloodstained Oz http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/097...e=UTF8&s=books

Dorothy Gale Journey to Oz
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/189...e=UTF8&s=books

The Complete Judge Dredd in Oz
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/185...428755?ie=UTF8

It also reminds me of that video game Alice in which you explore a darker wonderland. The idea is still cool but I would recommend creating your own oz/wonderland and then revisiting it years later.

AdamC11779 · 08-21-2006, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by storymask

I agree with the others on Hack. I like the angle your looking to take with an ex-super con back on the streets. Not sure the direction you want to go with him but that's the point of writing the story...

As for the others, I really liked the Oz idea but quite a few books have been done about it (meaning an oz gone bad):

Bloodstained Oz http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/097...e=UTF8&s=books

Dorothy Gale Journey to Oz
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/189...e=UTF8&s=books

The Complete Judge Dredd in Oz
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/185...428755?ie=UTF8

It also reminds me of that video game Alice in which you explore a darker wonderland. The idea is still cool but I would recommend creating your own oz/wonderland and then revisiting it years later.

Acctually, I was thinking more along the lines of a blurred dirty 70's kinda vibe. Starsky & Hutch meets Miami Vice meets Bad Boys. But yeah, I know its been done before, but doesnt mean it cant be done better or more fun. Again, it was just off the top my head, what was written up top was about as much development as had gone into it.

storymask · 08-21-2006, 04:05 PM

"But yeah, I know its been done before, but doesnt mean it cant be done better or more fun."

Agreed.

hithereeveryone · 08-22-2006, 08:21 AM

Hack is a good idea.

The stories that are historical fiction can be set in space with aliens and you can tell the story you want to tell without getting messed up in the history stuff. That's a trick I like to use, make it an analog.

Any of your ideas are fine. Pick one.

Pick one and work the hell out of it. Keep writing down your stubbs, but the only way to get anything done is to sit down with a bottle of robitussen or Cuervo or whatever gets you through and dash off a couple thousand words of the thing. Words on paper is the only way you can tell if you can execute the idea.

Pick the idea that you think you can execute and just do it. Not all ideas you come up with will fit your writing style. Brian wood isn't going to write slapstick comedy well and Neil Gaiman isn't writing about baseball. Since you are in controll, work with what you can stick with until you have told a whole story and write.

I'm sure you can do it if you stay motivated.

Enough with the pep talk, go write some killer stuff.

-HI

Janto · 08-22-2006, 12:53 PM

If you're interested in an idea for how Japanese Buddhism might have changed Native American culture, check out The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson, although it also works on the principle that Europeans are extinct.

But maybe an analogy would work better. I like the two genre subversion ones, personal taste really, it's what I'd be interested in reading.

08-15-2006, 02:23 PM	#1
AdamC11779 I kill Hookers. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 17	Feedback on Some Ideas... Are any of these worth pursuing? - Wish You Were Here: The life long story of a Nordic Man (Viking), who loses everything he loves, and sets sail alone to fulfill his childhood dream of finding the source of a foreign object that washed upon his shore. Risking his life he follows the only lead he has, an old sailors story of a great land across the sea. He crosses the Atlantic, and spends the rest of his life travelling down the coast of North America, across the plains and into Mexico. A human tale of loss, love, learning, and ultimately...death. - Indigenous: When Europeans crossed the Atlantic and came to America, the native people welcomed them. Thier kindness was rewarded with treachery, deceit and violence. Thier culture was nearly obliterated. They lost nearly everything. Now imagine, 100 years prior to thier arrival, a fleet of Japanese sepratists cross the Pacific and come to America. They are also welcomed. They are gracious to their hosts. The bring respect, knowledge and harmony. They infuse their culture with that of the indigenous people. The respect of the land... the discipline of the samurai. This unites the tribes, and springs forth a new nation. When the Europeans arrive, they are greeted with open arms. When their plans become obvious they are told they are not welcome, and this new nation can and will fight to keep its land, and preserve its integrity. The history of a new nation will be told... and the world will never be the same. - Reason: (Short Story) A child is lost... a wife ends her life... and a man is left alone with his pain, his fury and one burning question. Why, God... Why? An angel hears his cries of outrage and takes it upon himself to show him the answer. But some questions are better left unanswered.... and when all is said and done, is there truly solace when you understand the reason why things happen the way they do. - ECPD: (Read like a movie Preview) Gangs, Prostitution, Drugs, Murder. Crime is running rampant, and the goodly people of Oz fear for their lives. Corruption is around every turn, and the land over the Rainbow has had its glitter and shine stolen under the rule of two-faced politicians and a nefarious crime lord. But two hard-edged cops, with the street smarts and conviction to make a difference, are preparing to wage an all out war on the evil that is consuming Emerald City. SCARECROW ...DUH-DUH!! TINMAN.... DUH-DUH!!! Scum beware... the ECPD are on the scene! (Inspired by the fact that the Scarecrow carries a gun in the original movie...BADASS!!!) A one shot with all manner of cliche' and bad dialogue to be included. - HACK: Journal Entries from a former B-list Villian. "When I was younger.... I used to be a bad guy. I knew this town in and out, and it made it easy for me to do what I did. I robbed banks, I endangered lives, I put on a costume and fought good guys. I got my ass handed to me more times that I care to think about. Eventually, I got hurt, and I got caught. 15 years I spent in a super prison. 15 years behind windowless walls. I did my time, they chipped me, and they set me free. A career super criminal. No money, no family...nothing. Now all I have is a crappy studio apt. in a bad part of town, my self loathing drowned in booze, and a cab I share with an old aquaintance. I still know this town in and out, and it makes it easy for me to do what I do." Okay, those are just a few idea I have kicking around that are partially finished. The last 2 I just kinda came up with now... action/comedy and drama. Which of these should be fleshed out and scripted to completion...if any?

08-17-2006, 04:05 PM	#9
Icaruss The Masked Avenger Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Peru. And I'm not freaking kidding. Posts: 185	Indigenous doesn't really work for me, because alternate realities don't seem right if they aren't set in the future. It could work if done right though, and if it focused on the story, rather than in the history. I mean, if you didn't even mention the backstory, and just kept the story going. That would be fine, I guess. Still, I don't like it as much as I like... Wish You Were Here. This is great. A very good idea. You have to be carefull, though. Those kinds of stories tend to change into something that isn't particularly good, so try to keep your focus on the things important for the characters. HACK also sounds great. But you should treat it with a comedic approach. Last edited by Icaruss; 08-17-2006 at 04:07 PM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-15-2006, 02:50 PM	#2
Trey of Diamonds Semper Laurus Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 208	Greetings, I took a look at your ideas and here are my thoughts. (Please the history references with a grain of salt. I am an amateur historian and very picky where most folks aren't) - Wish You Were Here This sounds good but be careful to get your history right if you want the work to be taken seriously. It might stand alone as an adventure story and even do well but to take it to the highest level will require a ton of historical research for accuracy. For example, the Norse were fairly knowledgeable about the lands to the west, or at least knowledgeable about their existence so your idea about a single story from an old sailor doesn’t wash. - Indigenous This one doesn’t work for me. The Japanese would be as bad or worse than the Europeans. At best they would consider the Native Americans to be a peasant class while they were the nobility and at worst they would enslave them. There is absolutely no historical precedents that point towards your supposed outcome. Still, very few comic readers are students of history and even fewer are as nitpicky as I am so while it doesn’t work for me, it could still be an industry winner. - Reason Doesn’t grab me but probably because it has been done many times. - ECPD This one I like but you have to be careful not to become just a copycat of the Fairy Tale series. - HACK This one has a lot of promise. I get a hard boiled Sam Spade feel from your description that is really intriguing.

08-15-2006, 02:53 PM	#3
Mike225 low brow B1Tch Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Right in the brainpan squish! Posts: 5,727	Try keeping notes for all of them. It's how you get past writer's block. When you want to write a particular story, but can't, just write something else. That should get the words to flow, and you'll eventually have a body of work to shop around.

08-15-2006, 03:28 PM	#6
AdamC11779 I kill Hookers. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 17	Thanks for the quick and insightful feedback. I'll be sure to apply it to the development of any and all story ideas Im working on. I understand where you are coming from with some of your crits as well. Historical accuracies in Wish You Were Here are something I will strive for more than in Indigenous. I know that the Nordic Sailor were well aware of, and well traveled to the west, especially New Foundland and parts of the Canadian Coast. Much more research needs to be done, but like you said, not everyone is a history buff. I aim to entertain, not necessarily teach. Same as in Indigenous. Please note I called them Japanese Separatists, implying that they perhaps had a different view of their role in the world and realtions with new cultures...maybe that kind of thinking prompted them to leave. Again, I look to make an entertaining "What if ?" scenario, as well as give the people who inhabited this land before we came an upper hand in the impending factual genocide eventually wrought upon them. With Reason... I left it very vague, so the lack of feedback, or the belief that it has been done before is warranted, but not accurate, perhaps my description needs to be lengthier. ECPD and Hack both came on the fly. I chose Scarecrow and Tinman to "fight" in a forum Movie Battle League as my 2 man team.... Undefeated. Plus the reinvention of Miami Vice caught my eye. I always wanted to do a buddy story too. With Hack, well, I make edited game sprites as a hobby, and people are always making some of the most obscure characters you can think of, and ones you forgot about. That's Hack, a second stringer villian just living out the rest of his life in misery... I originally envisoned The Wrecker as the Hack, but as I understand, he's still fighting good guys in current comics. Truth be told, it can be any forgotten villian.

08-17-2006, 12:08 PM	#7
ampersand is behind you Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Glasgow, UK Posts: 161	Out of all of them, the only ones that personally interested me were Wish You Were Here and Hack. But then you've got to realise I tend to have bad taste with these things. I agree with Trey of Diamonds on the historical accuracy - if you're serious about writing Wish You Were Here, a week-long trip to the library wouldn't go amiss. There's a ton of books about Viking culture. If you do your research, it could be great. Hack could be pretty good - like The Colour of Money with supervillains. "I used to be a contender..."

08-17-2006, 03:58 PM	#8
Penchant Bad Robot Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Burlington, MA Posts: 739	I think it'd actually be neat if you combined Wish You Were Here and Indigenous, and by "combine" I mean telling them in the same story, but separately, simultaneously, so that you could comment on each while weaving the complexities of them into a thought-provoking whole, a central thesis, if you will. Right now it seems the common link is a search for oneself outside of one's own country, which may be more pertinent now than at any point in history. Now it's so common we forget that it hasn't become any easier than it would have been when it was more rare. In many ways, it's harder because we're more familiar with the lands we may find ourselves in; we don't learn from the people, but from their reputation. We know more, and we're paralyzed. But you're not reading this because you want such thoughts. You're reading because you want some confirmation. A search and a rise. I'm sure it could work.

08-21-2006, 12:15 AM	#10
AdamC11779 I kill Hookers. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 17	Thanks for all the great feedback. I'll try to keep all of this in mind as I progress forward with any/all of the stories. Since Hack seems to be getting the most favorable reviews, look for the first 6 pages sometimes this week for criticism. Thanks again to all who replied.

08-21-2006, 01:54 AM	#11
storymask Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: California Posts: 33	I agree with the others on Hack. I like the angle your looking to take with an ex-super con back on the streets. Not sure the direction you want to go with him but that's the point of writing the story... As for the others, I really liked the Oz idea but quite a few books have been done about it (meaning an oz gone bad): Bloodstained Oz http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/097...e=UTF8&s=books Dorothy Gale Journey to Oz http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/189...e=UTF8&s=books The Complete Judge Dredd in Oz http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/185...428755?ie=UTF8 It also reminds me of that video game Alice in which you explore a darker wonderland. The idea is still cool but I would recommend creating your own oz/wonderland and then revisiting it years later.

08-21-2006, 04:05 PM	#13
storymask Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: California Posts: 33	"But yeah, I know its been done before, but doesnt mean it cant be done better or more fun." Agreed.

08-22-2006, 08:21 AM	#14
hithereeveryone Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 116	Hack is a good idea. The stories that are historical fiction can be set in space with aliens and you can tell the story you want to tell without getting messed up in the history stuff. That's a trick I like to use, make it an analog. Any of your ideas are fine. Pick one. Pick one and work the hell out of it. Keep writing down your stubbs, but the only way to get anything done is to sit down with a bottle of robitussen or Cuervo or whatever gets you through and dash off a couple thousand words of the thing. Words on paper is the only way you can tell if you can execute the idea. Pick the idea that you think you can execute and just do it. Not all ideas you come up with will fit your writing style. Brian wood isn't going to write slapstick comedy well and Neil Gaiman isn't writing about baseball. Since you are in controll, work with what you can stick with until you have told a whole story and write. I'm sure you can do it if you stay motivated. Enough with the pep talk, go write some killer stuff. -HI

08-22-2006, 12:53 PM	#15
Janto Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 6	If you're interested in an idea for how Japanese Buddhism might have changed Native American culture, check out The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson, although it also works on the principle that Europeans are extinct. But maybe an analogy would work better. I like the two genre subversion ones, personal taste really, it's what I'd be interested in reading.