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#1 |
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Lord Vader
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 208
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Downhill
This little piece is something I just started working on when I answered a bulletin over at PJ from I'mAWheel. (lowkeycomics) It's suppose to be an 8 page story that he and other creators and artist are planning to show around at the WizardWorld con in Chicago this summer. Any way after inking the page I felt that the panels could use some moving around to make the page flow better. So I moved a few panels around and it looks better to me but maybe you guys and gals see differently? What do you think?
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#2 |
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A Dragon
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 14
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Shifting the panels around may not match the script if not then you may need to do a rewrite and you said there is other people working on it maybe you should ask them because it belongs to them too.
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#3 | |
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Lord Vader
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 208
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Quote:
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#4 |
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Lord Vader
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 208
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Downhill pg 2
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#5 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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clear ink..not my field
nice job |
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#6 |
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The white L Jamal...
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,323
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Nix the panel rearrangement. Your job is to embellish/enhance the pencil art, not re-tell the story.
The inks themselves need more line variation, particularly more thin lines. The lines in the hair on page 1 should be much thinner than the contour lines of the figures. Hair is fine, and should be inked as such. Folds within the clothing of the figures should taper thick-to-thin, following the wrinkle to it's end. Nice job on the sofa on page 2, panel 4. A few shadows in the nooks created where the folds of the cushions & the pillow meet her body, and especially under the pillow where her hand raises it up from the sofa, would create more separation between the figure & the furniture. I would have also used more line variation on the contour of the figure in this panel just to further separate the organic (figure) from the non-organic (furniture). The 3 figures in panel 2 of page 2 should have different outline weights to pop them out from one another. Ditto panel 3. Page 2 panel 1 her eyes are narrowed, but open in pencil & closed in ink. And slight shadows under the sleeves of her arms, tapered to accentuate the lifting of the sleeve away from her arm would help. Basically you're on the right path. Just remember you're here to add depth & demension to the art with the inks. Try using some of the tips I pointed out here & re-posting, as I'd very much like to see the outcome. |
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#7 |
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Inker and Editor
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 185
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Inks
I agree with G. W. I wouldn't rearrange the panel layout. Playing around with things like that can actually cause some hurt feelings and working relationships. Best to keep with what you're there for and make it the best you can. If there's a possibility of the other members of the team taking you're advice, then maybe...it's a chancy thing to just turn it in with all the changes.
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#8 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2
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I thought the flow was better with the rearranged layout, but feathers would indeed be ruffled. I guess it all depends on how experienced this guy is as a penciller.
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