Newscaster book pages (again)

[Tom Cornicelli]

Okay, here are those pages for the Newscaster story I'm working on again.
I hope everyone has an easier time viewing them.

[jamjason]

This is very consistent. The subject matter is as dull as real life but very enthralling and provacitive. The characters have very unique characteristics. I like it.

[GRIMSCRIBE]

Okay, have to admit, reading this was really easy and I'm hooked. Want to see where it goes.
Ron

[Tom Cornicelli]

Jason (Jam) and Ron (Grimscribe):
Thanks for checking out my work, and thanks for the compliments. I really appreciate the feedback!

- Tom C.

[sevans]

I've looked at this twice, the first time I glanced at the artwork and didn't like it - just not my taste.

This time, I actually read it AND I want to read more. That's the main aim of storytelling, so good work

Keep posting.

[Tom Cornicelli]

Thanks, sevans!

Trying to tell an interesting story is really my highest priority. It's a little frustrating that people can't get more of the story from the (mostly) random pages I've posted here, but, unfortunately, since I'm drawing a lot of the pages out of chronological order, that's the best I can do right now.

I'll try to post some more soon.

- Tom C.

[hereboy]

This is cool stuff and I need to see more. Great artwork and it's cool to see some reality-based storytelling too. You keep the reader in a quiet moment really well. Please make some more of this and put it up here so I can read it.

[Lovecraft13]

I'm glad to see someone posting something besides a big action scene because conveying character interaction and personality are more important than one splash page after another.

[Gav Heryng]

I dunno. I feel a bit bad disagreeing with pretty much everyone else, but this failed to draw me in. The dialogue feels natural and works really well, but the panel layouts are boring and do not necessarily assist the flow of the story. I also feel that a splash for the first page brings the narative to a dead stop. Bearing in mind that printed comics pretty much always start on the third leaf of a book, a splash gives us almost nothing to turn over the page. it's a pin-up, and nothing more. It may have benefited from having a few inset panels to bring us into the story a little quicker. That way I think you could have shortened page 1 & 2 into a single page and pulled us into the story tht much faster.

The actual artwork itself doesn't interest me at all. This sort of thing looks great when it's advising you what to do if your Boeing 747 ditches into the ocean, but with dull lines and stiff poses I'm not so sure it translates well onto the comic page. This is also my problem with the colours - flat, and uninteresting.

On a more positive note, the anatomy is very accurate and your rendering of clothes looks good.

For me though, this all looks a bit to artificial - a bit too cut-and-paste characters on backgrounds.

Keep at it.

Dis

[Tom Cornicelli]

Hereboy & Lovecraft13:
Thanks for the compliments! I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's nice to know there's an audience out there for comics that deal with realistic subject matter and character development.
I will post some more work as soon as I can.

Dis:
Don't feel bad; I realize not everyone's going to like what I do. This project is different from most comics in that it's simply a story about average people doing normal, but hopefully interesting, things. I am trying to present these events in a way that is immediately accessible to people - all people, not just comic fans; so I'm trying to keep things as simple as possible. I feel that too much detail and "extreme, in-your-face" layouts can add up to too much visual clutter and can have the effect of confusing or disorienting some readers.
If the drawings seem like diagrams, that's okay because I think the best comics do often come across as diagrams - simple and immediately accessible.
That's what I'm going for.
Anyway, I do appreciate your feedback. I'm glad you gave me your honest opinion.

[Gav Heryng]

You're welcome. Thanks for taking it like a professional.

Good luck with your book.

Dis

[Roel_Torres]

I would suggest lettering in a different font, preferably something that looks more handwritten and organic. You have people trying to speak in a naturalistic manner, but the font you are using defeats that intention by being cold, sterile, and clinical. Personally, I found it extremely distracting.

Also, I find the transition between pages 3 and 4 to be abrupt. Holly begins her sentence "But the best letter I got..." without prompting. It's a non-sequitiur. You might want to add a ballon that says: "Check it out, Darlene. I got some cool fan mail. BUT THE BEST LETTER I GOT..."

The word "but" is often an interjection. And Holly begins her sentence that way. Odd. Especially for a professional in the field of communications.

[Tom Cornicelli]

Roel,
Thanks for bringing up a couple interesting points.
First of all, you're absolutely right about the transition being abrupt and not making sense leading up to Holly saying, "But the best letter I got...etc." See, what happened was that this is the second time I posted this series of pages. The first time I posted them, some people were having technical problems viewing them, so I re-posted them. However, when I re-posted them, I should've mentioned (as I did in the introduction to the initial posting) that only the first three pages are in order.
When we see the first page of the newsroom sequence (which is posted here as page 4, and has an establishing shot of the exterior of the WPVD building), it actually should come several pages after the first three pages. And after that first newsroom page, there are another four pages leading up to Holly saying, "But the best letter I got...etc," but those pages are not shown here. (In case you're wondering, those pages deal with Holly and Darlene discussing the fan mail Holly has been getting, and Holly telling Darlene what some of the people had written to her).
So, all of this is a long way of saying you're right - it is abrupt and it's because the dialogue that leads up to it wasn't posted yet. When I reposted these pages I should've mentioned that there were gaps between some of the pages. That was totally my fault and I apologize for any confusion that might have caused.

Okay, now the "font" issue.
This book is being created digitally. When it came time for me to choose a font, I considered investing in one of those "comic book font" lettering programs, but the whole idea of that seemed sort of absurd to me. Using a keyboard to simulate hand lettering has always seemed sort of phony and mechanical. I can understand what you're saying about it being "cold," but I personally don't feel that way.
This may come down to just a matter of taste. I think MAD magazine used to use typeset lettering (I don't know what they're using now, I haven't seen MAD in quite awhile), but it never really bothered me. (And considering how many "non-comics" people used to read MAD, I don't think the typsetting hurt anyone's enjoyment of the magazine; in fact, I always suspected that MAD was able to appear more mature by not using hand-drawn lettering and thereby not appearing to be just another kiddie funnybook).
I'm not saying you're wrong, it's just that I've never been bothered by typeset lettering. Now that you've mentioned it though, you've got me thinking it over. I'm curious to know what other people think about the whole font issue.
Anyhow-thanks for the comments, Roel! I appreciate you taking the time to critique my work!

[Bulletboy-Redux]

I like it. The style is definitely different and eye catching. The colored strokes gives the art a very warm feel. Do you draw it all in black first and then color the lines manually? If so I give you credit, that must be a huge pain in the ass.

[sneed]

I like it. . . like it alot

Reminds me of American Splendor!!!!! ( I have a boatload of Pekar )

I sense a lotta the best stuff will be autobiographical or reflections ( perhaps revelations ) of everyday occurrences. . .

sneed