My first attempt at lettering. Suggestions/Critiques would be awesome.

[spectre216]

Okay, so this is my first attempt at lettering a comic page (using the activities here). Any feedback I could get would be immensely helpful as i'm sure I messed things up that i don't realize.

[SuperMonkey]

Panel one - Watch those thick tails. Also, make certain that the Bezier curve is somewhat symmetrical. On the first balloon it looks like you curved the hell out of the rightmost edge of the tail but left the other edge practically flat.

Panel two - This is a hard one because that damn sceptre is in the way, but I will say that the tail looks a little wonky. That's not really your fault, though.

Panel four - Keep the tails off the faces.

Panel five - That crossed-tail thing isn't working for me, not that I can think of a better way to accomplish the proper reading order, though. Basically, the artist hates you.

Very good for a first try, though. The problems are minor, and you definitely did a better job than I did on my first attempt.

[HdE]

Originally Posted by SuperMonkey

Panel five - That crossed-tail thing isn't working for me, not that I can think of a better way to accomplish the proper reading order, though. Basically, the artist hates you.

This is an interesting one.

I recently posted something for discussion in an online comics creators group I belong to, where I asked how familiar artists there were with the 'rule' in comic art of placing the first speaker on the left of each panel.

Some people hadn't heard of this, quite a few had, and a couple of guys decided they disagreed with it enough that they were going to call me an idiot and a hack for even suggesting it. Who needs namby pamby rules when you can just pencil those panels however you like, eh?

Panel 5 demonstrates how failure to place the first speaker on the left can cause problems for the letterer.

I see this sort of thing quite a bit. It's FAR from ideal, but it's by no means impossible to work around. My preferred method for handling this is to look for dead space above the character art and stack balloons vertically, with the first speaker's on the top, and balloon tails trailing away accordingly.

The artist in this case has had the sense to allow plenty of room for lettering above the characters, so that should work okay if you compose the arrangement of the text just so.

NEVER cross balloon tails. It may seem like common sense - and I'll admit it's something I've done in the past before I knew better - but in reality it makes things harder to read.

Take heart - for a first attempt, this is pretty good! You handled the placement of the final balloon very well. Lots of beginners would most liekly struggle with that. I see nothing in thos page that you can;t tighten up on with a bit of extra knowledge and experience. Keep at it!

[JimCampbell]

Originally Posted by HdE

…I asked how familiar artists there were with the 'rule' in comic art of placing the first speaker on the left of each panel.

Some people hadn't heard of this, quite a few had, and a couple of guys decided they disagreed with it enough that they were going to call me an idiot and a hack for even suggesting it.

Worth mentioning that 'first speaker on the left' is writ large in Tharg's submission guidelines but, then, how many artists who started out at 2000AD have gone to amount to anything?

Oh, wait…

Cheers!

Jim

[lordmagnusen]

What the guys say.... but also; you need to stack your text better inside your balloons, not leave empty space at the bottom of them.. and try working with less oval balloons; that look a bit more organic, by flattening the sides, bottom and top a little bit... this way, they look like template balloons.

[t_orzechowski]

Everyone else has made good points. No one else is mentioning one crucial thing, though, so I will: the font you used here is not in any way attractive. If this page was to be shown to a publisher, you would not be taken seriously.

Comics lettering fonts from the usual vendors cost about $30, and are entirely worth the investment if you're aiming to do paying work for publication.

[lordmagnusen]

Oh, right, I wasn't paying attention to the font... damn...

[Jeff LeBlanc]

Also, keep an eye out for typos, like "FFOR" in panel two.

I agree with Tom--terrible font. This is a font that would prevent me buying a book that used it. It's wonky, with line weights that are wildly inconsistent and verticals that point all over the place. The font's spacing and kerning is such that most of the words seem to split awkwardly or run together. Blambot has plenty of awesome free fonts. Start with one of those.

[spectre216]

I tried to follow all of the above advice on this second go. Definitely saw what you were all saying about the font as well, so I changed that. I also tried to make the balloons fit the text better (though i fear they might now be too square) and narrow the tails.

Round two lol

[lordmagnusen]

The font is better, but you still have some serious typos (at least in the first panels). And unfortunately, your balloons now look more like templates; and they're too tight around the copy. Check Jim Campbell's tutorial on making nice looking balloons:

http://clintflickerlettering.blogspo...ator-four.html

[SuperMonkey]

"Contaced", panel one.

I didn't mind the original font, actually. I've seen prettier ones, but you could also do a lot worse. The new font probably reads clearer, though.

However, the balloons are now too square. Flattening (and by "flattening", it should be understood that we mean only "slightly squishing") along the top and bottom is a very, very subtle thing that needs to be done with a lot of finesse. Keep an eye out as you're doing it and make sure that the balloon still has a roundness when all is said and done. Really, the only point of flattening (again, slightly squishing) is to keep the balloon from looking like a perfect oval, with the pleasant side effect of having a more text-friendly area of space to work with. If any of the balloons start to look more square than round, it's time to pull back and take a second look.

Actually, I should probably get around to doing this page at some point...

[SuperMonkey]

I should also point out that the personal pronoun "I" in panel four (and possibly elsewhere, but I'm too lazy to look) should be rendered with the crossbar I, rather than the lowercase crossbar-less I that looks like a lowercase L.

[spectre216]

Before I go redoing the whole page again maybe I should work on making my balloons better first, than I can work on placement after I've got those down.. Is something like this more along the correct lines?

[SuperMonkey]

That's better. The text is abutting the edge of the balloon a little too closely on the "Once inside..." bit, but other than that it's quite good. I wouldn't squish the sides on the second part of the balloon too much; I generally keep the majority of the flattening/squishing confined to the top and bottom, and only reign in the edges when there happens to be a lot of white space just hanging out and doing nothing useful.

Very good, though!

[spectre216]

Okay, here goes round 3. I tried as hard as I could to find typos and I think that this time I got rid of them all.