40 WINKS(TRAILER to the awesome Comic)

aghori · 12-15-2011, 10:40 PM

HI Guys,
Bhanu here... I am a comic artist-writer and here's a bit a new project called 40 WINKS that I have been illustrating, with writers on the story Aakshat Sinha and Anupam Arunachalam.

Ok, the blow you away bit in the titles was to just you get into seeing this thread. To know the reason please read further.

Below is the Trailer of the comic that I worked on.

OK so here's the stuff... yeah you got it!! The awesome sh*t
that I promised... ok maybe it isnt that good, but everybody's gotta do shameless self advertising

------------------------------

40 WINKS
A TEASER

-------------------------
Got you excited enough?

Hope you are psyched, I am, I am actually more nervous though, but thats another thing.

Thanks a lot in advance for the comments and critiques

Steven Forbes · 12-16-2011, 04:12 PM

Hi!

You need an editor an a letterer, in that order.

I didn't read all of it. Just a few things stuck out at me:

The lack of consistent punctuation.
The font isn't the best.
You have to work on placement of the captions.
Too many captions.
No one actually speaks at all.

I liked the art. I thought it was interesting.

As for the story itself and why I didn't read it: you're trying too hard to be cryptic. It's false. That's the worst way to lure someone in to read your story. You can start late and force them to catch up, but you can't start late AND be cryptic at the same time. It doesn't work. You'll only succeed in turning your readers away.

There's potential here, though.

Hope that helps.

-Steven

12-15-2011, 10:40 PM	#1
aghori Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 55	40 WINKS(TRAILER to the awesome Comic) HI Guys, Bhanu here... I am a comic artist-writer and here's a bit a new project called 40 WINKS that I have been illustrating, with writers on the story Aakshat Sinha and Anupam Arunachalam. Ok, the blow you away bit in the titles was to just you get into seeing this thread. To know the reason please read further. Below is the Trailer of the comic that I worked on. OK so here's the stuff... yeah you got it!! The awesome sh*t that I promised... ok maybe it isnt that good, but everybody's gotta do shameless self advertising ------------------------------ 40 WINKS A TEASER ------------------------- Got you excited enough? Hope you are psyched, I am, I am actually more nervous though, but thats another thing. Thanks a lot in advance for the comments and critiques

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12-16-2011, 04:12 PM	#2
Steven Forbes Freelance Editor Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 2,103	Hi! You need an editor an a letterer, in that order. I didn't read all of it. Just a few things stuck out at me: The lack of consistent punctuation. The font isn't the best. You have to work on placement of the captions. Too many captions. No one actually speaks at all. I liked the art. I thought it was interesting. As for the story itself and why I didn't read it: you're trying too hard to be cryptic. It's false. That's the worst way to lure someone in to read your story. You can start late and force them to catch up, but you can't start late AND be cryptic at the same time. It doesn't work. You'll only succeed in turning your readers away. There's potential here, though. Hope that helps. -Steven