Phoenix and Magneto Pages

carstenbiernat · 11-10-2011, 03:05 PM

Hey Guys,

I wanted to create some sequential art and came up with the idea of these five Phoenix and Magneto pages. It is all about their relationship and the destructive power they will unleash upon the world as the most dangerous mutant couple ever known. I have used a mixture of traditional pencil drawing and digital drawing to create these pages. Just enjoy!

Just visit my Blog for more artworks!

thejaz180 · 11-12-2011, 03:08 PM

How come I missed this? I like your penciling a lot. I don’t know your style, but to me the simple lines are awesome, because I’m simple and I like drawing that way. Of course if your gonna shade it I bet it still would look awesome. I like the pages a lot. I like how you drew the two, Phoenix looks strong and sexy, and that’s all I’m gonna say about her. I like Magneto’s look, his gestures to me works out. These pages are awesome. When I critique someone’s work I don’t nitpick, why because not everyone expresses art the same way, maybe you aim for something different and this is my point. And for this same reason sometimes I wonder if this is why I’m not a good critic.

Anywho, if there’s something completely odd I will mention it tho’. I like how the panels flow; I like how the images connect within the panels as well. I’m going to be honest with you, these pages work for me. I know someone else who has a better insight on how things could be done differently will mentioned what works and what does not work, but to me the pages are awesome. This makes me wanna stop doing my push ups right now and forget drawing characters and work on my sequential arts, post more so that I may absorb the luv. I likes

thejaz180 · 11-12-2011, 03:14 PM

HAA! I just came from your blog and saw that ghost rider of yours, kid! Awesome, he looks phat, nice! Your ghost rider looks like he’ll kick my ghost riders ass, did you see my ghost rider in this forum, nice your work is awesome… you go boy! (I’m going ga ga over your ghost rider.)

carstenbiernat · 11-21-2011, 05:14 PM

Thanks for the kind words about these pages, thejaz180! It was very interesting to read your detailed opinion about them.
And also thanks for your Ghostrider comment. Yes, I have seen your Rider, keep up the good work!

creativesynergy · 11-21-2011, 06:29 PM

I like the style a lot. Very reminiscent of Colleen Doran's work.

However, there are a number of points:

1) Both Magneto and Phoenix (Dark Phoenix?) are in the same basic pose: Arms out, fists clenched on both hands, one leg raised above the other. As a matter of fact, Pages 3 and 4 have Magneto with different legs bent, so Page 2 of Phoenix and Page 4 of Mags are the same. I'm sure there are more "power poses" to choose from, so don't settle. Vary it up.

2) Panel four on Page 4 looks like Phoenix is attacking him, trying to take his helmut off, because he looks like he's trying to escape or resist. Take a look at that image by itself with nothing before or after. See what I mean? You need to make sure the message is consistent through the sequence.

3) The "eyes" have it or, in this case, have not. Through the sequence, Phoenix has no iris or pupil. Magneto, when he has his helmut on, has no iris/pupil, but shows the iris/pupil when his helmut is first taken off. This, however, changes with the last panel of the sequence, where Phoenix now has it and Mags doesn't(??). Magneto needs to have those components back, that is, unless, somehow Phoenix has empowered him even more, but is that what really happened?

4) Work on your backgrounds. I didn't know that, as Phoenix is over the city, that the place has just been "destroyed". There's no obvious sense of destruction as the sporadic building has a chunk taken out of the top. Did a giant just have lunch? Research. Look at photos of actual scenes. You'd be surprised at how many you can find. Unfortunately, I also thought the "smoke" was actually trees, which I now realize is not the case. Work the scene, making it "real". As a reader, I want to feel the destruction: Billions of dollars in damage, countless lives lost, etc. Right now I don't feel it. That's probably one of the reasons I couldn't tell if the woman is Phoenix or Dark Phoenix. One word: Clarity.

5) Watch your lines. Take a look at the building directly under her foot on Page 2: You've got an L-shaped building that has the line for the short part (upper portion) coming down and continuing along the same line created by the corner of the lower side. Not only does this mess with depth, but the "smoke" coming out of that line creates the illusion of a separate panel.

6) Texture is an issue, whether it's the smoke or the lines in her hair. Something to work on.

7) In panels one to four on the first page, there is debris(?) building up in the panels. What is this? It looks like it's coming down like rain, but is Phoenix the one who is actually moving down to where the debris is getting thicker and heavier? If she hasn't moved, then you need to make all of the panels have that heavier debris look. Think of it this way: You have an empty panel with debris; the reader wonders what it is; the reader then sees a face (with no iris/pupil, showing inhumanity) coming into view, slowly through each panel. Before they turn the page, you want the reader to ask: "What's happening?? I have to know!!" In other words, create a powerful hook that will encourage them to turn the page.

8) Here's a word I want you to consider: Bleed. A bleed will have the image flow off the page, giving the illusion of the scene existing outside of the confines of a restrictive panel border. One image that could definitely use a bleed is the single image on Page 2. The destruction exists beyond the border, right? Show it by allowing the image to bleed off the page. Now, if you look at the first panel of the last page, you could use a bleed, but what is the focus? Is it the the destruction? No. That's already been established. But Magneto and Phoenix in a romantic embrace? Now THERE'S your focus. So how do you show that? Tighten the large frame so it's thinner, making it seem like a 3-D effect as the characters escape the frame. With the second panel, to make it easier to read with the thin major panel, make it wider so it expands past the frame of the larger image.

Let me know if this all makes sense.

Steve

11-10-2011, 03:05 PM	#1
carstenbiernat Registered User Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Dresden, Germany Posts: 46	Phoenix and Magneto Pages Hey Guys, I wanted to create some sequential art and came up with the idea of these five Phoenix and Magneto pages. It is all about their relationship and the destructive power they will unleash upon the world as the most dangerous mutant couple ever known. I have used a mixture of traditional pencil drawing and digital drawing to create these pages. Just enjoy! Just visit my Blog for more artworks!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

11-12-2011, 03:08 PM	#2
thejaz180 The artist from Brooklyn Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Brooklyn, NY Posts: 2,509	How come I missed this? I like your penciling a lot. I don’t know your style, but to me the simple lines are awesome, because I’m simple and I like drawing that way. Of course if your gonna shade it I bet it still would look awesome. I like the pages a lot. I like how you drew the two, Phoenix looks strong and sexy, and that’s all I’m gonna say about her. I like Magneto’s look, his gestures to me works out. These pages are awesome. When I critique someone’s work I don’t nitpick, why because not everyone expresses art the same way, maybe you aim for something different and this is my point. And for this same reason sometimes I wonder if this is why I’m not a good critic. Anywho, if there’s something completely odd I will mention it tho’. I like how the panels flow; I like how the images connect within the panels as well. I’m going to be honest with you, these pages work for me. I know someone else who has a better insight on how things could be done differently will mentioned what works and what does not work, but to me the pages are awesome. This makes me wanna stop doing my push ups right now and forget drawing characters and work on my sequential arts, post more so that I may absorb the luv. I likes

11-12-2011, 03:14 PM	#3
thejaz180 The artist from Brooklyn Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Brooklyn, NY Posts: 2,509	HAA! I just came from your blog and saw that ghost rider of yours, kid! Awesome, he looks phat, nice! Your ghost rider looks like he’ll kick my ghost riders ass, did you see my ghost rider in this forum, nice your work is awesome… you go boy! (I’m going ga ga over your ghost rider.)

11-21-2011, 05:14 PM	#4
carstenbiernat Registered User Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Dresden, Germany Posts: 46	Thanks for the kind words about these pages, thejaz180! It was very interesting to read your detailed opinion about them. And also thanks for your Ghostrider comment. Yes, I have seen your Rider, keep up the good work!

11-21-2011, 06:29 PM	#5
creativesynergy Steve Colle, Editor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 1,300	I like the style a lot. Very reminiscent of Colleen Doran's work. However, there are a number of points: 1) Both Magneto and Phoenix (Dark Phoenix?) are in the same basic pose: Arms out, fists clenched on both hands, one leg raised above the other. As a matter of fact, Pages 3 and 4 have Magneto with different legs bent, so Page 2 of Phoenix and Page 4 of Mags are the same. I'm sure there are more "power poses" to choose from, so don't settle. Vary it up. 2) Panel four on Page 4 looks like Phoenix is attacking him, trying to take his helmut off, because he looks like he's trying to escape or resist. Take a look at that image by itself with nothing before or after. See what I mean? You need to make sure the message is consistent through the sequence. 3) The "eyes" have it or, in this case, have not. Through the sequence, Phoenix has no iris or pupil. Magneto, when he has his helmut on, has no iris/pupil, but shows the iris/pupil when his helmut is first taken off. This, however, changes with the last panel of the sequence, where Phoenix now has it and Mags doesn't(??). Magneto needs to have those components back, that is, unless, somehow Phoenix has empowered him even more, but is that what really happened? 4) Work on your backgrounds. I didn't know that, as Phoenix is over the city, that the place has just been "destroyed". There's no obvious sense of destruction as the sporadic building has a chunk taken out of the top. Did a giant just have lunch? Research. Look at photos of actual scenes. You'd be surprised at how many you can find. Unfortunately, I also thought the "smoke" was actually trees, which I now realize is not the case. Work the scene, making it "real". As a reader, I want to feel the destruction: Billions of dollars in damage, countless lives lost, etc. Right now I don't feel it. That's probably one of the reasons I couldn't tell if the woman is Phoenix or Dark Phoenix. One word: Clarity. 5) Watch your lines. Take a look at the building directly under her foot on Page 2: You've got an L-shaped building that has the line for the short part (upper portion) coming down and continuing along the same line created by the corner of the lower side. Not only does this mess with depth, but the "smoke" coming out of that line creates the illusion of a separate panel. 6) Texture is an issue, whether it's the smoke or the lines in her hair. Something to work on. 7) In panels one to four on the first page, there is debris(?) building up in the panels. What is this? It looks like it's coming down like rain, but is Phoenix the one who is actually moving down to where the debris is getting thicker and heavier? If she hasn't moved, then you need to make all of the panels have that heavier debris look. Think of it this way: You have an empty panel with debris; the reader wonders what it is; the reader then sees a face (with no iris/pupil, showing inhumanity) coming into view, slowly through each panel. Before they turn the page, you want the reader to ask: "What's happening?? I have to know!!" In other words, create a powerful hook that will encourage them to turn the page. 8) Here's a word I want you to consider: *Bleed*. A bleed will have the image flow off the page, giving the illusion of the scene existing outside of the confines of a restrictive panel border. One image that could definitely use a bleed is the single image on Page 2. The destruction exists beyond the border, right? Show it by allowing the image to bleed off the page. Now, if you look at the first panel of the last page, you could use a bleed, but what is the focus? Is it the the destruction? No. That's already been established. But Magneto and Phoenix in a romantic embrace? Now THERE'S your focus. So how do you show that? Tighten the large frame so it's thinner, making it seem like a 3-D effect as the characters escape the frame. With the second panel, to make it easier to read with the thin major panel, make it wider so it expands past the frame of the larger image. Let me know if this all makes sense. Steve