WEREGIRL Synopsis

[Uziel]

Hey all... I'm working on the synopsis that's supposed to run alongside Weregirl on Zuda. I decided to put it in the voice of the main character because it felt so dry. Let me know what you think!

If you haven't seen it, here's the link to my comic, with art by the wonderful Ash Jackson.

www.weregirl.wordpress.com


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Hey there. My name's Andy. You know, the guy from the comic you just read.

Wait, you haven't read it yet? What's wrong with you?! Do you want the whole story spoiled? Go read the darn thing, then meet me back here.

Oh, you're back? Good. I just took a gander myself and, well, to look back on those times I'm a little embarrassed and a bit nostalgic. I was a total spaz at school, an object of mockery at the hands of Bruce, the school football team's water-headed running back, and I was repeatedly rejected by the girl of my dreams. Even my own mom didn't seem to have time for me.

That's when it happened. My dog, my beloved wolf-hound Molly was bitten by some strange creature and transformed into a person before my very eyes. The opposite of a were-wolf, she had become a were-human.

It was up to me to hide her condition from others, so she wouldn't get taken away from me. Whether a dog or a whacked-out girl, Molly was still my best friend in the world.

Then little by little it become frighteningly clear that someone out there seemed to know about her condition. Someone who kept sending these ruthless goons and bizarre creatures, each worse than the last, out into the woods to capture Molly. Someone who would seemingly stop at nothing to unlock her secret.

I had no idea what we were in for back then. Reading over these pages, we all look so young and innocent. But me, Molly, even Bruce -- but none of us were what we seemed. The worst was still a long way off. You'll see what I mean.

This is a story of transformations -- and by the time it's over we'll all know what it means to howl at the moon.

[dmh_3000]

Not too bad. Only have two things to say:

1. Telling me to stop reading the synopsis and go read the comic just feels a little offputting, almost turns me off the idea of reading the comic all together.

2. Were-human. Were actually means man, if I remember my latin correctly. I would probably come up with a different term.

Other than that, sounds like something I would check out. So yeah, will definitely have a read of it.

[madelf]

Originally Posted by dmh_3000

Were actually means man, if I remember my latin correctly. I would probably come up with a different term.

That's one theory (that it comes from the latin vir). Another is that it derives from the Old English weri, which means "to wear". So were-wolf would mean "to wear [the form of] a wolf". Which would make were-human mean "to wear [the form of] a human". That interpretation also ties in well with some of the early folklore where people were able to turn into wolves by donning magical wolf skins, so it seems somewhat reasonable.

Either way, I think most readers would probably get the idea (since it's stated outright) that a were-human, in this context, is intended to mean the opposite of a human who turns into a wolf - especially those who don't know their latin (which might include Andy). And since the comic is already titled Weregirl... I'd probably let it slide, myself (and hope it doesn't translate to man-girl in too many people's minds).

I'd be more concerned with spoilering the entire intro run of the comic. But maybe that's what Zuda is looking for, I don't know. I would think a relatively spoiler-free teaser would be more useful for getting people to read it, but obviously you need to give them what they're looking for.

[Uziel]

That's what I was trying to negotiate with that sort of in character spoiler warning... the notion that you should read the comic, then read the synopsis to get a better idea of the story. It should be obvious, but I'm afraid people will ruin the surprise by reading the synopsis first. So I think I'll stick with the (admittedly somewhat lame) opening thing.

I wanted to put the whole thing in the first person because I want every element of my story to be part of its universe, rather than some lame authorial voice talking to you.

Any other tweaks you guys can think of? There's something that's not working about this thing, and I can't put my finger on it...

[Skullbie]

It's got good voice but i'm not liking the 2nd person 'you you you' over and over, it's kind of jarring when used excessively like that.

I read the comic though, freaking sweet i think you've got a winning combo

[Uziel]

Originally Posted by Skullbie

It's got good voice but i'm not liking the 2nd person 'you you you' over and over, it's kind of jarring when used excessively like that.

I read the comic though, freaking sweet i think you've got a winning combo

Thanks for the tips, guys. I think you're right, Skullbie, the 4th wall breaking is a little too cute... I was trying to make sure that no one reads the synopsis first and spoils the surprise at the end (though maybe the title already spoils the surprise). It's probably smarter to just let that work itself out.