Spiderman

jeffo46 · 04-20-2009, 11:57 AM

This is a piece that I'm doing for a private comission which will be inked. I thought I'd show the pencils and see if there're any mistakes that I might've made that some of you could help me with before I start inking this. Any feedback would be helpful, thanks!

BCastonzo · 04-20-2009, 12:32 PM

Hi...Bit of a sporadic poster, but I hope you don't mind me diving into a critique. The mood struck me.

This piece leaves me perplexed as to what the character's actually doing, because there's very little sense of weight or movement to the figure. I realize that's kind of a classic Spidey pose, but it's usually utilized in situations where he's perched on a buildingside, not cruising through the air. Did he just jump? Is he swinging? On the downswing or the upswing? It'd be terrific to be able to tell what he's doing without needing the speed lines...Especially since it's still unclear even with the speedlines. There's no sense of extension and/or power in his body - it's so tight and compacted, he'd have had to assume that position on a building and then just kind of tumble off in order to maintain it; in other words, he'd actively have to TRY to maintain that pose in that situation. It's just stiff.

Also, the choice to draw the buildings orthographically is an odd one...Perspective would no doubt create a more visually interesting piece.

Dfbovey · 04-20-2009, 01:07 PM

It seems like more of a dropping into an alley from above pose, than a birds eye view of him swinging above the city.

IMO, either the pose needs to change or the background should be a slight worms eye view.

JOHN&CODES · 04-20-2009, 01:48 PM

arms shoulders and back seem stiff, looks too in line for spidey if hes swinging from a web. I mean I see one in his hand, Im not sure if he just shot "about" to swing or if hes using it atm. i agree with bcast, perspective can make or break a spidey pic, personaly id try diff angles of the same area and find what feels best/natural. good stuff though i see the classic muscle shade lines and all, plus buildings no matter the angle are a bitch to draw imo, lol

xombey · 04-20-2009, 04:16 PM

you've gotta repost this because it's out of focus.

Tayman227 · 04-20-2009, 04:20 PM

Alright,you need to work on your perspective in the buildings, Make sure your figures arent stiff when your trying to convey that they are swinging/flying/jumping/running etc. Right under spideys arms the buildings just stop, is that supposed to be speed lines? if so that looks wrong to me. Also his head looks oddly placed, and the muscles on his back are wrong. Also spideys left shoulder looks off, not connected right. His left forearm looks off too. I know your trying to go for the whole silver age look but try using referance and study anatomy. Good work keep at it!

jeffo46 · 04-20-2009, 07:14 PM

Thanks for the crits guys. I noticed now that it's mentioned that the perspective with the buildings, is out of whack. I think I'm going to take this one and redo it again but with a different sense of perspective and I'll try not to rush it this time. Also, I'll make sure that my Digital Camera gets a better shot next time, Promise! Thanks to everyone.

Saul Haber · 04-20-2009, 09:02 PM

I like the pose, but as a pouncing pose. Spidey looks very powerful. As if he's jumping into a fight. But not as a web swinging pose.

04-20-2009, 11:57 AM	#1
jeffo46 jeffo46 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Woonsocket,R.I. Posts: 1,463	Spiderman This is a piece that I'm doing for a private comission which will be inked. I thought I'd show the pencils and see if there're any mistakes that I might've made that some of you could help me with before I start inking this. Any feedback would be helpful, thanks!

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04-20-2009, 12:32 PM	#2
BCastonzo Enlightened One Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 23	Hi...Bit of a sporadic poster, but I hope you don't mind me diving into a critique. The mood struck me. This piece leaves me perplexed as to what the character's actually doing, because there's very little sense of weight or movement to the figure. I realize that's kind of a classic Spidey pose, but it's usually utilized in situations where he's perched on a buildingside, not cruising through the air. Did he just jump? Is he swinging? On the downswing or the upswing? It'd be terrific to be able to tell what he's doing without needing the speed lines...Especially since it's still unclear even with the speedlines. There's no sense of extension and/or power in his body - it's so tight and compacted, he'd have had to assume that position on a building and then just kind of tumble off in order to maintain it; in other words, he'd actively have to TRY to maintain that pose in that situation. It's just stiff. Also, the choice to draw the buildings orthographically is an odd one...Perspective would no doubt create a more visually interesting piece.

04-20-2009, 01:07 PM	#3
Dfbovey Hatch-o-holic in Reform Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Alexandria VA Posts: 458	It seems like more of a dropping into an alley from above pose, than a birds eye view of him swinging above the city. IMO, either the pose needs to change or the background should be a slight worms eye view.

04-20-2009, 01:48 PM	#4
JOHN&CODES quantam pig zombie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: south texas Posts: 93	arms shoulders and back seem stiff, looks too in line for spidey if hes swinging from a web. I mean I see one in his hand, Im not sure if he just shot "about" to swing or if hes using it atm. i agree with bcast, perspective can make or break a spidey pic, personaly id try diff angles of the same area and find what feels best/natural. good stuff though i see the classic muscle shade lines and all, plus buildings no matter the angle are a bitch to draw imo, lol

04-20-2009, 04:16 PM	#5
xombey Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 1,055	you've gotta repost this because it's out of focus.

04-20-2009, 04:20 PM	#6
Tayman227 Taylor Whitton Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 126	Alright,you need to work on your perspective in the buildings, Make sure your figures arent stiff when your trying to convey that they are swinging/flying/jumping/running etc. Right under spideys arms the buildings just stop, is that supposed to be speed lines? if so that looks wrong to me. Also his head looks oddly placed, and the muscles on his back are wrong. Also spideys left shoulder looks off, not connected right. His left forearm looks off too. I know your trying to go for the whole silver age look but try using referance and study anatomy. Good work keep at it!

04-20-2009, 07:14 PM	#7
jeffo46 jeffo46 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Woonsocket,R.I. Posts: 1,463	Thanks for the crits guys. I noticed now that it's mentioned that the perspective with the buildings, is out of whack. I think I'm going to take this one and redo it again but with a different sense of perspective and I'll try not to rush it this time. Also, I'll make sure that my Digital Camera gets a better shot next time, Promise! Thanks to everyone.

04-20-2009, 09:02 PM	#8
Saul Haber Registered User Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,581	I like the pose, but as a pouncing pose. Spidey looks very powerful. As if he's jumping into a fight. But not as a web swinging pose.