You may be a Redneck if ...

[Scribbly]

You may be a Redneck if ...
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

You think there's nothin wrong with incest
as long as you keep it in the family.


You and your dog use the same tree.

Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.

You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.

You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

Jack Daniels makes your list
of "Most Admired People"

You think taking a bubble bath starts
with eating beans for dinner.

Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump
and bring back more than you took

You had to remove a toothpick
for your wedding pictures.

You consider your license plate personalized because
your dad made it in prison.

Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.

Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."

You stare at an orange juice container
because it says, "CONCENTRATE".

You have the local taxidermist's
number on speed dial.

Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".



More at:http://www.fortogden.com/foredneck.html

[wisper]

you have a woodstove, microwave oven, loaded gun in da kitchen

[Great Scott]

...you still think Jeff Foxworthy is funny.

[Jasen Smith]

Originally Posted by Great Scott

...you still think Jeff Foxworthy is funny.

^ NOW THAT IS FUNNY^

[BIGROD]

Originally Posted by Great Scott

...you still think Jeff Foxworthy is funny.

Shut down the thread. No one is going to beat that.

[Nitecrawlah2]

... You just purchased tickets to the Tall-Off between bluelinesmoke and Jon Dahl. Or if you are in fact bluelinesmoke or Jon Dahl.

[Jon Dahl]

I'm not a redneck!

I have all of my teeth, I have an education, find Jeff Foxworthy unbearable, own a new Chrysler 300C, and I wasn't already related to Amanda when I married her.

(Although, she does have the same name as my sister....)

[Buckyrig]

I think being Jewish cancels out any possibility of being a redneck.

[Newt]

I feel obligated to point out that rednecks, crackers, trailer trash, hicks, hayseeds, bumpkins, and hillbillies are all distinctly different species and should be treated as such. These cracks are not all applicable to the same group of people.

It's Jack Daniel, not Jack Daniels.

Foxworthy was never funny. I'm not sure why people didn't realize this fifteen years ago, but here we are.

There is bound to be at least one Jewish redneck family in North America. I feel sure on this one.

Jon Dahl and BLS are hyuppies (rural yuppies). Well-known fact.

[Jon Dahl]

I'm a Rual Young Urban Proffesional living in the middle of a city of 50,000 people?

[Buckyrig]

Originally Posted by Jon Dahl

I'm a Rual Young Urban Proffesional living in the middle of a city of 50,000 people?

Shit, I got 50,000 people in my basement.

[Biofungus]

Originally Posted by Jon Dahl

I'm not a redneck!

I have all of my teeth, I have an education, find Jeff Foxworthy unbearable, own a new Chrysler 300C, and I wasn't already related to Amanda when I married her.

(Although, she does have the same name as my sister....)

Yeah, but your wife HIT A DEER with said new Chrysler 300c. That's a pretty darn huge strike against you (although you'd have lost the battle if same said deer now occupies a place over your mantle, complete with bullethole).

[Jon Dahl]

Yeah, but we didn't take it home and eat it.

[Nitecrawlah2]

More like 5 bullet holes. That fucker went down harder than Boris the Blade!

[Newt]

Originally Posted by Jon Dahl

I'm a Rual Young Urban Proffesional living in the middle of a city of 50,000 people?

Sheeit, I live in a city of 120,000 and we all know I'm a country boy. In any case, we all know the 'u' stands for "upwardly-mobile" (or "uppity", whichever is more applicable at the time).

And what happened to your vaunted spell-checking prowess?