Some dialogue play....

[DocDemonic]

In an effort to push my comic book skills further, I've been devising nice little scenes/snippits of dialogue to practice story-telling and character development. Maybe someday I'll actually write something AND draw it.. what a neat idea!

I apologize for writing in a more cinematic script style than your traditional comic book format. That'll probably be the next step in this thing's evolution.

So without further stalling, enjoy! C&C as always appreciated.

Words in all caps = bold lettering.


-Scene: A dark room, seemingly a gallery space. The character known as The Kill Artist (TKA) has a female (F) cowering in the corner, bound by her hands.-
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TKA: Oh, the POSSIBILITIES! I haven't had a good palette to work with for DAYS! Now, what shall my new CANVAS become?

F: Canvas? What the--

TKA: AH! You have BEAUTIFUL eyes! They'd look marvelous hung from a chandelier. Yes! With your TEETH as a secondary composition!

F: WHAT!?

TKA: ...My, my.. what a strong voice you have! I'll have to take out my recorder for YOU. My, what a SPLENDID find! You keep THIS up, and you'll be my centerpiece for the gallery opening!

F: G-gallery opening? What are you TALKING about??

(awkward silence)

TKA (irritated): ...Well now, if THIS is how you converse with people, not giving ANY input to the project and only thinking about YOURSELF, then I'll just have to improvise on my own...

(awkward silence from both)

TKA: Everyone's a SPECTATOR...

-Change scene to an all white room with TKA on a bed with hand and feet cuffs talking to a PSYCHIATRIST (PSY) with a clipboard.-
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TKA: *Sigh*..YES, as an artist I simply CANNOT replicate a single piece. I must STAY TRUE to the art, you see.

PSY: The..art?

TKA: Yes! The ART! Can you not hear me, darling?

PSY: No, I can hear you fine.. but you consider what you do to be, "art"?

TKA: Doesn't EVERYBODY? My dear, I've torn apart a man's ripcage with a HAMMER and a BUTTERKNIFE. If that's not a CONVERSTATION PIECE, then I'm afraid there is just no such thing!

-Cut back to scene in gallery with female-
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F: You come ANY closer and I'll KILL you!!

TKA: Tsk, tsk. Putting up a FIGHT? But, that's what the LAST one did! I simply CANNOT continue on this course...

F: ...r-really? You mean, I can-

*The Kill Artist quickly unsheaths a pistol and fires a needle into F's neck. She screams and drops to the floor*

TKA: ...which is why I've chosen to EUTHANIZE you! I truly AM a genius!"

*The Kill Artist approaches the female, whose eyes are open wide and slowly closing*

TKA: Not to BRAG, of course. YOU'LL find out soon enough, my lady!

-end-



..that's it for this until I sit down and really think-tank the details and flesh it out a bit more..

p.s. let me know if this sounds too much like something you've seen/heard before.. I'm a glutton for punishment, and that's the only way I'll be able to try to make it as original as I can. Thanks!
Back to work!

[Mike225]

No, it doesn't sound like something I've heard before...not really...

I've been listening to Doctor Who radio shows, and that's what this "sounds" like in my head...in fact, they all have British accents!

Uhm...I don't know if that helps you or not..

Oh, and the dialogue flows pretty well. Not bad.

[DocDemonic]

thanks Mike! Huh, not quite was I going with, but that's cool.

Like I said, just messing around. Glad it reads well. Hehe.. I do enjoy the strange-ness of said Dr. Who, though.

Thanks again!

[r nelson]

TKA definitely has a villainous "voice."

For some reason I'm picturing The Joker from Batman when I read his lines, but I think that says more about me than it does about you. That said, evoking The Joker and Dr. Who with the same mini-script can't be a bad thing.

There are a couple places where I don't "get" your choice to emphasize certain words, but a lot of that is a matter of taste.

It's a pretty good start to something.

- Richard

[DocDemonic]

Nah, I completely hear you.. there are some very Joker-esque qualities, (i.e. doing things to satisfy his own means, the crazy aspect, so on..)

But I'm hoping to develop a different attitude that will sort of keep the two from being too similar. The Kill Artist is more driven by his own passion to create art and have it affect those around him, via this sort of disconnection with the consequences of his own actions type of thing.

And yeah, even when I was typing this out I was changing the word emphasis around. You never comprehend exactly how many different ways you can interpret a sentence until you actually do it.

[DocDemonic]

So, The Kill Artist is one character I developed that exists in this wild and crazy story I'm fashioning. But, I couldn't be content with making just one crazed insane asylum inmate. Why not go for two?

As my first dialogue play, if anything screams too cliche or "already been done" to you, just scream it out. That's why I call this dialogue play.

ALL CAPS= bold letters

Brief Synopsis of The Harvestor:
His belief structure is based on the idea that humanity's always had tragedy and moments of mass loss in order to push forward and regain ground from. He plans of saving humanity from itself by killing as many people as he possibly can. He is not religiously motivated, he has no prejudice or focused malice. Just his belief that in order for mankind to keep from collapsing on itself, he needs to be the catalyst for the "thinning of the herds". Make sense a little, sort of?

Enter: The Harvestor.

Page 1: five panels

-panel 1: One fifth size of page horizontally laid, top of page. Depicts cityscape.

Dialogue Bubble: This City.. a crippled, torn MESS of humanity..

-panels 2-5: All very specific panels with images of happy, nice people doing innnocent, everyday activities.

Dialogue Bubble 1: This will be my birthplace... my gateway to ETERNITY..

Dialogue Bubble 2: Every last icon of degraded filth and lost ambition...

Dialogue Bubble 3: ..will come to know me..

Dialogue Bubble4: Not as a monster, but a SAVIOR of mankind..

Page 2: 2 Panel
-Panel 1 Full on shot of The Harvestor standing on a rooftop looking down almost directly at the reader. In right hand is a technological device resembline a high-tech detonator.

Thought Bubble 1: ...I will not be empathetic or merciful. I will not show love or compassion. Instead I shall further our natural progression.

Thought Bubble 2: There have been epidemics. There have been great fires. And while tragic, were necessary for humanity's survival and adaptation. And now, there will be me.. THE HARVESTOR.

-Panel 2: Inset, lower right corner, showing harvestor clicking one of the various buttons on his detonator.

SFX- KLAK


..so, that's it so far for scripted dialogue and such. I have more ideas revolving around him, as well as integral plot points, but I figure it's more professional to create the moments in proper format before spewing them out for viewing and critiquing, you know?

I plan on throwing out another Kill Artist sample when I get my notes together.

Hope this is at the very least entertaining.

[r nelson]

I'll say you do have a knack for writing villains. Harvester sounds pretty cool. Not enough to really get a feel of the story here, but I like him from what's there.

[DocDemonic]

You are right, Nelson. Most of what I've been writing are things jotted down in between the notes of my course outlines.

One day, hopefully soon I can actually sit down and make something more than a few pages of dialogue.

Call it a curse, but I have this natural instinct to hop onto something and work on it until something else pops in my head, then it gets placed into WIP Limbo.

A bad habit I'm trying to knock out of my system, I suppose you could say.

Thanks for the feedback. At least now I know that I have something sturdy to go forward on.