Project W: Best Defense Issue #5 Main and Back-up Story

W. Smith · 03-04-2008, 05:54 PM

After slight, and mostly imperceptible, alterations and technical issues, T-3 requests Mr. Fix-it complete a full diagnostic. Nothing is turned up, but even with a clean bill of health, the problems continue to worsen. When T-3 realizes what has happened it's too late and he has been possessed by an otherworldly demon a member of the demon/angel hybrid race called the Angelius-Think fiery swords, wings, halos, horns, cloven hoofs, spiked tails, you know old testament biblical stuff, except tricked out and made somewhat space-age.

It would be cool, if the other writers would include hints to this building at an ever increasing rate. The diagnostic could take place in the first or second issue, and then just weird things happen with his sensory units: funny smells, hearing voices in strange languages, and the like.

In my issue I will deal with the onslaught of the demon, his attack on the team and subsequent defeat by Mr. Fix-It's invention (as yet undetermind).

When the takeover occurs, I want the team to defeat T-3, but I wanted the real victory to go to Walter, and in the end be a battle of "wills" between him and the demon. It will Mr. Fix-It who realizes what the attack is and devises the way to stop it.

The demon is defeated but not destroyed and was a harbinger of sorts, he was an advance scout sent by this alien race to remove opposition to their coming, and they are still coming.

The soul of Walter Smith dies saving T-3 and Best Defense, so we will eventually need someone to transfer into the golem-juggernaut armor to power it. I was thinking about using a young superhero who had been beaten and was on the verge of death, now offered the chance by Best Defense to take up the T-3 mantle and serve justice again. Remember this is not a matter of simply donning an armor, once you are in T-3, you are in. There is no going back. This new T-3 could have been a victim of any of the above scenarios that we have developed. Maybe he/she is a trainee or a volunteer. This version would then become Titan IV.

Rough Outline- Main story:

Scene 1: 500 years ago. Geoffery Cul du Blanc, while doing astronomy and research, encounters and alien race or receives a message from space. He mistakenly believes that he has communicated with Satan himself, and begins prepare for the prophesied return and Armageddon. Really the “demons” are a large group of alien explorers-warriors who are returning to earth having visited prior to 10K BC. The arrival should happen in the 1500’s but their scout ship is destroyed, so their return is inadvertently delayed about 500 years.

Scene 2: Titan 3 awakens and begins to seek out and destroy Best Defense in one on one combat.

Scene 3: Internal combat between the soul of Walter Smith and the harbinger demon-alien.

Scene 4: Body beaten, the battle rages internally until Walter forces out the demon who then proclaims the return of the Angelius, the race of demon aliens. The demon-soul is captured

Scene 5: Walter dies, begging his comrades to ensure that the Titan Tech Turbo Golem is re-vitalized for the impending war.

Rough Outline- Back-up story: too much for only 8-pages, so I will break it into two 8-page stories and add some, or I will shave some details...
Scene 1: An old man (Walter Smith) explores mystical ruins for weird alien artifacts (Indiana Jones style discovery and action)

Scene 2: Returning home he places the last piece in a trophy room and studies an ancient text.

Scene 3: He builds an armored golem from the collected relics and modern technology.

Scene 4: He is attacked by alien forces, left for dead, but the golem is undiscovered. The same alien captain (Sole member of the Angelius race on earth and scout) will attempt the takeover of Titan-3 above...

Scene 5: Badly hurt, on the verge of death, Walter manages to complete a ritual which forces his soul into the golem and becomes Titan 3. (Kinda like the Da Vinci Code...opening scene)

Scene 6: The police, after discovering the Geoffery Cul du Blanc angle, speak with Mr. Fix-It...

W. Smith · 03-04-2008, 05:56 PM

Fletch:

Instead of a Leonardo Da Vinci creation-if you like- maybe Mr. Fix-It's tool is the only Angelius/Geoffry Cul du Blanc artifact that is still whole and working. His possession could be used as a lynchpin to bring Walter Smith and Mr. Fix-it together. Hence his ability to repair and assist Titan 3.

Is this okay, or have you already got the tool origin set up?

Alexithymia · 03-04-2008, 08:49 PM

Was Geoffry Cul Du Blanc a real guy?

I like that Fix-It's tool comes from Leonardo. Instead of having it be Geoffry's may I suggest that Leonardo, before his death, met with Geoffry and was exposed to exotic technologies which Leonardo was able to grasp (Geoffry probably seeking answers about the technology seeks out the world's greatest mind) and lead to the creation of the "Ultimate Tool". And the Invention that stops the Titan III in the end could be the Ultimate tool's secret function, hidden there for ages by Geoffry and Leonardo.

Another thing I'd like to suggest is that Dr. Dominic Hazri plays a role in the creation of the weapon that stops the Titan, since he's a Genius it makes sense that he'd help Fix-It realize some technological marvels.

Oh, and we really need a topic in which to put our outlines and discuss them, I think, don't you? the other topic is a bit stuffed.

W. Smith · 03-05-2008, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexithymia

Was Geoffry Cul Du Blanc a real guy?

Yes. He was the lesser well known second cousin of Milo Rambaldi.

j/k- He was Milo Rambaldi's uncle

knockedoutpanzer · 03-06-2008, 08:08 AM

that's a fun read. I like the ending particularly.

fletch137 · 03-07-2008, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W. Smith

His possession could be used as a lynchpin to bring Walter Smith and Mr. Fix-it together. Hence his ability to repair and assist Titan 3.

I've nothing specific in mind for the Tool, but I'm leary of this development because it suggests a very quick wrap-up to the character's purpose. In a real series, I'd like to see something like this being discovered 30 issues down the line, not within the first year.

Does that make sense?

W. Smith · 03-07-2008, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fletch137

I've nothing specific in mind for the Tool, but I'm leary of this development because it suggests a very quick wrap-up to the character's purpose. In a real series, I'd like to see something like this being discovered 30 issues down the line, not within the first year.

Does that make sense?

We do not have to reveal anything about the tool anytime. I am just brainstorming. That's why I asked, it is your device, I was just seeing an opportunity to have ties between the team members.

Alexithymia · 03-07-2008, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fletch137

I've nothing specific in mind for the Tool, but I'm leary of this development because it suggests a very quick wrap-up to the character's purpose. In a real series, I'd like to see something like this being discovered 30 issues down the line, not within the first year.

Does that make sense?

I think you're right, if you're talking about seeing Mr.Smith out by issue 5. I think some of us, including me, may have wanted to write stories that would be constrained within a self-contained issue. In other words, stories meant to span at least two issues. I find I'm having to cut alot of cool concepts I wanted to use on some of these wonderful characters just to fit in the main story. If I could change my blurb I'd go for a more simplistic plot with a somewhat generic bad-guy and just focus on team dynamics and character relationship/development. I guess I've learned something then, I hope.

Alexithymia · 03-07-2008, 07:07 PM

W. Smith, I wanted to know if you have the nature of the Angelius race fixed. Particularly the scout that has invaded Walter's Golem. Is it kind of a astral/ghostly being, which would explain why he could inhabit the golem along with Walter, right?

'Cause I've got this scene in issue #4 where an invading parasite is removed, more or less, from the Titan III by the Angelius scout inside the suit/Golem. I just want to make sure it doesn't clash with your idea of the alien.

W. Smith · 03-08-2008, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexithymia

W. Smith, I wanted to know if you have the nature of the Angelius race fixed. Particularly the scout that has invaded Walter's Golem. Is it kind of a astral/ghostly being, which would explain why he could inhabit the golem along with Walter, right?

'Cause I've got this scene in issue #4 where an invading parasite is removed, more or less, from the Titan III by the Angelius scout inside the suit/Golem. I just want to make sure it doesn't clash with your idea of the alien.

I had wanted these beings to be able to survive after the death of their bodies. Like the demons of lore they can possess souls, and thereby control physical shells, but they have a physical being themselves. When they are out being astral, their own bodies are most vunerable. This is how Mr. Fix-it beats the alien.

T-3 is an amazing creature. He is a mix of black magic and modern technology. He is a golem, possessed by the soul of a human with technological advances that enable him to have 5 senses like a human but they are more restrained. For instance, his hearing and vision are better than a human's, but they are only digital representations, not actual senses, his sense of smell is limited to analysis of the air and his sense of taste is simply bitter, sweet or sour, but things have to be extremely flavorful for him to "feel" it. His sense of touch is flawed and he tends to break things because mastery of it depends on determining how much force is really needed.

Unfortnately he is doubly vunerable: he is subject to both magical attacks and technological viruses too. The Alien technology is based on what we would call magic in this world.

Your parasite could be a tech virus or sorts?

As for the Angelius race they look like demonic angels, in a sci fi armor. They have wings, fiery eyes and other facial openings, they emit a faint "brimstone odor", which T-3 would analyze and determine to be sulfur. They vary in size from some what smaller than a human (and wingless) to somewhat larger and winged. They have pale skin in pastel hues of varying color. All of them are very fit and muscular, but like swimmers or runners-none of them would have the bodybuilder stature. They have both swords and guns, but the swords would be thin and rapier like and the guns would look almost steampunkish.

So far as their spacecraft, they travel outside of normal time and space, so the 12K years it has been since they were last on earth has only been a slight time for them. They are universal conquerors locked in pitch battel with another race that I do not have the details worked out on.

W. Smith · 03-08-2008, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexithymia

I think you're right, if you're talking about seeing Mr.Smith out by issue 5. I think some of us, including me, may have wanted to write stories that would be constrained within a self-contained issue. In other words, stories meant to span at least two issues.

I am not really intersted in such a short episodoc event for this character. I like the long haul with the big payoff. So far as Smith being gone by issue 5 or 6, so what? We can bring in a younger better man, an arrogant character that is more powerful, but more headstrong, essentially a guy or girl that has to step back to being a trainee which would be geared more towards the episodic stuff we want to do here...

When I conceived the character this is the story that came with him. It came to me all at once. I think it really works, but if it is too large or we decide to go another way, I would be happy to include a simpler story and character for use here.

Remember that team books lay the ground work for the next arc as they work through the current one. Their should be development for the future in each issue. Check DC's Guide to Writing Comics- it explains better what I am trying to say here. I personally am not fond of the one shot repetitiveness of some of the books today. For me, that is what the eight-page individual story should be.

I understand what we are dong here and I know that this is kind counter to the initial vision, but this is a collaborative effort. My summation should fit into no more than two issues, so with a little help to expose T-3's weaknesses we should be able to make it all work.

W. Smith · 03-08-2008, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fletch137

I've nothing specific in mind for the Tool, but I'm leary of this development because it suggests a very quick wrap-up to the character's purpose. In a real series, I'd like to see something like this being discovered 30 issues down the line, not within the first year.

Does that make sense?

Do you really see us writing thirty issues of this effort? Your glasses are rosy than mine...

W. Smith · 03-08-2008, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexithymia

I think you're right, if you're talking about seeing Mr.Smith out by issue 5. I think some of us, including me, may have wanted to write stories that would be constrained within a self-contained issue. In other words, stories meant to span at least two issues. I find I'm having to cut alot of cool concepts I wanted to use on some of these wonderful characters just to fit in the main story. If I could change my blurb I'd go for a more simplistic plot with a somewhat generic bad-guy and just focus on team dynamics and character relationship/development. I guess I've learned something then, I hope.

What's stopping you from changing your blurb?

Alexithymia · 03-08-2008, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W. Smith

What's stopping you from changing your blurb?

self-absorbtion and delusions of grandeur. what else?

Thanks for the updated info on the Alien race and the T-3's weaknesses. I think I may try to mix the the virus as a blackmagic/digital-virus of sorts if it works, if not i'll go with straight black as death magical wickedness.

fletch137 · 03-12-2008, 01:20 PM

This is why people with day-jobs don't get work as comic writers. Work here at the hospital has been mind-boggling lately. Between visits from THIRD Fleet, a Dining Out ceremony, and our upcoming change of command, I've had more than a few late nights that have kept me from making any progress on my Best Defense script.

I'm going to recommend y'all skip me so you're not all stuck waiting for me to finish up.

For the sake of progress, though, I'll post the page breakdown I'd managed before the Navy took over. It's kind of stream of consciousness, but it might give an idea of what I was up to.

Page 1
The six core members, Mr. Fix-It, Delphia, Crescent, T3, GeoGuard and Self-Made Man are giving a press conference at the ribbon-cutting of their new high tech HQ. In mid speech, Delphia has an oracular vision and calls for GeoGuard to clear the press NOW!

Page 2
She does so with a wind blast just as a fire engine careens up onto the sidewalk and crashes through where the crowd was.

Page 3
Mention here of Delphia being blinded by her vision, but as Crescent and Fix-It move to help the driver, he tells them that some idiot ran a red light and drove him off the road.

Page 4
Fix-It says “looks green to me”. In fact, all the lights are green. Sounds of another collision further up the street move them to action.

Page 5
Fix-It says “let’s move” and goes to investigate the crash. S-M Man calls for GeoGuard to help him with the fire the engine was responding to.

Page 6
Fix-It pries apart and directs Crescent to overload the traffic lights to reset them to red.

Page 7
It doesn’t stick.

Page 8
Calling S-M, he finds out there isn’t actually a fire.

Page 9
As they’re talking, a train goes careening out of control followed by T3.

Page 10
T3 tries to stop the train, but an oncoming train promises to crash.

Page 11
S-M Man races to the rubble of the collision and starts tearing through the train parts looking for survivors when T3 lands carrying the car with all the passengers in it.

Page 12
Geo says “less standing, more rescuing” but S-M realizes these are just symptoms.

Page 13
He calls Fix-It who has tapped into the transportation system and gets the information about the spreading disaster.

Page 14
Geo flies off to rescue the planes Fix-It mentioned, leaving T3 and S-M Man to track down the culprits.

Page 15
At the vault, S-M Man and T3 find high-tech thieves breaking into a vault and subdue them.

Page 16
Wrap up.

03-04-2008, 05:54 PM	#1
W. Smith W. Smith Publications Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DFW TX Posts: 108	Project W: Best Defense Issue #5 Main and Back-up Story After slight, and mostly imperceptible, alterations and technical issues, T-3 requests Mr. Fix-it complete a full diagnostic. Nothing is turned up, but even with a clean bill of health, the problems continue to worsen. When T-3 realizes what has happened it's too late and he has been possessed by an otherworldly demon a member of the demon/angel hybrid race called the Angelius-Think fiery swords, wings, halos, horns, cloven hoofs, spiked tails, you know old testament biblical stuff, except tricked out and made somewhat space-age. It would be cool, if the other writers would include hints to this building at an ever increasing rate. The diagnostic could take place in the first or second issue, and then just weird things happen with his sensory units: funny smells, hearing voices in strange languages, and the like. In my issue I will deal with the onslaught of the demon, his attack on the team and subsequent defeat by Mr. Fix-It's invention (as yet undetermind). When the takeover occurs, I want the team to defeat T-3, but I wanted the real victory to go to Walter, and in the end be a battle of "wills" between him and the demon. It will Mr. Fix-It who realizes what the attack is and devises the way to stop it. The demon is defeated but not destroyed and was a harbinger of sorts, he was an advance scout sent by this alien race to remove opposition to their coming, and they are still coming. The soul of Walter Smith dies saving T-3 and Best Defense, so we will eventually need someone to transfer into the golem-juggernaut armor to power it. I was thinking about using a young superhero who had been beaten and was on the verge of death, now offered the chance by Best Defense to take up the T-3 mantle and serve justice again. Remember this is not a matter of simply donning an armor, once you are in T-3, you are in. There is no going back. This new T-3 could have been a victim of any of the above scenarios that we have developed. Maybe he/she is a trainee or a volunteer. This version would then become Titan IV. Rough Outline- Main story: Scene 1: 500 years ago. Geoffery Cul du Blanc, while doing astronomy and research, encounters and alien race or receives a message from space. He mistakenly believes that he has communicated with Satan himself, and begins prepare for the prophesied return and Armageddon. Really the “demons” are a large group of alien explorers-warriors who are returning to earth having visited prior to 10K BC. The arrival should happen in the 1500’s but their scout ship is destroyed, so their return is inadvertently delayed about 500 years. Scene 2: Titan 3 awakens and begins to seek out and destroy Best Defense in one on one combat. Scene 3: Internal combat between the soul of Walter Smith and the harbinger demon-alien. Scene 4: Body beaten, the battle rages internally until Walter forces out the demon who then proclaims the return of the Angelius, the race of demon aliens. The demon-soul is captured Scene 5: Walter dies, begging his comrades to ensure that the Titan Tech Turbo Golem is re-vitalized for the impending war. Rough Outline- Back-up story: too much for only 8-pages, so I will break it into two 8-page stories and add some, or I will shave some details... Scene 1: An old man (Walter Smith) explores mystical ruins for weird alien artifacts (Indiana Jones style discovery and action) Scene 2: Returning home he places the last piece in a trophy room and studies an ancient text. Scene 3: He builds an armored golem from the collected relics and modern technology. Scene 4: He is attacked by alien forces, left for dead, but the golem is undiscovered. The same alien captain (Sole member of the Angelius race on earth and scout) will attempt the takeover of Titan-3 above... Scene 5: Badly hurt, on the verge of death, Walter manages to complete a ritual which forces his soul into the golem and becomes Titan 3. (Kinda like the Da Vinci Code...opening scene) Scene 6: The police, after discovering the Geoffery Cul du Blanc angle, speak with Mr. Fix-It... Last edited by W. Smith; 03-04-2008 at 06:09 PM.

03-04-2008, 05:56 PM	#2
W. Smith W. Smith Publications Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DFW TX Posts: 108	Fletch: Instead of a Leonardo Da Vinci creation-if you like- maybe Mr. Fix-It's tool is the only Angelius/Geoffry Cul du Blanc artifact that is still whole and working. His possession could be used as a lynchpin to bring Walter Smith and Mr. Fix-it together. Hence his ability to repair and assist Titan 3. Is this okay, or have you already got the tool origin set up? Last edited by W. Smith; 03-04-2008 at 06:10 PM.

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03-04-2008, 08:49 PM	#3
Alexithymia Rhadamanthine Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Californ-eye-A Posts: 747	Was Geoffry Cul Du Blanc a real guy? I like that Fix-It's tool comes from Leonardo. Instead of having it be Geoffry's may I suggest that Leonardo, before his death, met with Geoffry and was exposed to exotic technologies which Leonardo was able to grasp (Geoffry probably seeking answers about the technology seeks out the world's greatest mind) and lead to the creation of the "Ultimate Tool". And the Invention that stops the Titan III in the end could be the Ultimate tool's secret function, hidden there for ages by Geoffry and Leonardo. Another thing I'd like to suggest is that Dr. Dominic Hazri plays a role in the creation of the weapon that stops the Titan, since he's a Genius it makes sense that he'd help Fix-It realize some technological marvels. Oh, and we really need a topic in which to put our outlines and discuss them, I think, don't you? the other topic is a bit stuffed.

03-06-2008, 08:08 AM	#5
knockedoutpanzer Hails Cthulhu! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: england Posts: 970	that's a fun read. I like the ending particularly.

03-07-2008, 07:07 PM	#9
Alexithymia Rhadamanthine Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Californ-eye-A Posts: 747	W. Smith, I wanted to know if you have the nature of the Angelius race fixed. Particularly the scout that has invaded Walter's Golem. Is it kind of a astral/ghostly being, which would explain why he could inhabit the golem along with Walter, right? 'Cause I've got this scene in issue #4 where an invading parasite is removed, more or less, from the Titan III by the Angelius scout inside the suit/Golem. I just want to make sure it doesn't clash with your idea of the alien.

03-12-2008, 01:20 PM	#15
fletch137 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 300	This is why people with day-jobs don't get work as comic writers. Work here at the hospital has been mind-boggling lately. Between visits from THIRD Fleet, a Dining Out ceremony, and our upcoming change of command, I've had more than a few late nights that have kept me from making any progress on my Best Defense script. I'm going to recommend y'all skip me so you're not all stuck waiting for me to finish up. For the sake of progress, though, I'll post the page breakdown I'd managed before the Navy took over. It's kind of stream of consciousness, but it might give an idea of what I was up to. Page 1 The six core members, Mr. Fix-It, Delphia, Crescent, T3, GeoGuard and Self-Made Man are giving a press conference at the ribbon-cutting of their new high tech HQ. In mid speech, Delphia has an oracular vision and calls for GeoGuard to clear the press NOW! Page 2 She does so with a wind blast just as a fire engine careens up onto the sidewalk and crashes through where the crowd was. Page 3 Mention here of Delphia being blinded by her vision, but as Crescent and Fix-It move to help the driver, he tells them that some idiot ran a red light and drove him off the road. Page 4 Fix-It says “looks green to me”. In fact, all the lights are green. Sounds of another collision further up the street move them to action. Page 5 Fix-It says “let’s move” and goes to investigate the crash. S-M Man calls for GeoGuard to help him with the fire the engine was responding to. Page 6 Fix-It pries apart and directs Crescent to overload the traffic lights to reset them to red. Page 7 It doesn’t stick. Page 8 Calling S-M, he finds out there isn’t actually a fire. Page 9 As they’re talking, a train goes careening out of control followed by T3. Page 10 T3 tries to stop the train, but an oncoming train promises to crash. Page 11 S-M Man races to the rubble of the collision and starts tearing through the train parts looking for survivors when T3 lands carrying the car with all the passengers in it. Page 12 Geo says “less standing, more rescuing” but S-M realizes these are just symptoms. Page 13 He calls Fix-It who has tapped into the transportation system and gets the information about the spreading disaster. Page 14 Geo flies off to rescue the planes Fix-It mentioned, leaving T3 and S-M Man to track down the culprits. Page 15 At the vault, S-M Man and T3 find high-tech thieves breaking into a vault and subdue them. Page 16 Wrap up.