Sequential Suicide "SLOP"

CBrown · 12-09-2007, 05:18 PM

I've been lettering for a little while now but I still have a lot of room for improvment. I could use some advice and tips. This is a my contribution to 803 Studios annual themed anthology SEQUENTIAL SUICIDE. Written and lettered by me with art by Daniele Serra.

theflash · 12-10-2007, 02:02 AM

the balloon breaking out of panel five is distracting...and the font doesn't really do much for the page at all. try varying your balloons as to shape as well. the ones you have seem to be all the same balloon just resized. tails are normally curved as well, but that's a small thing i guess.

Dani's great to work with huh?

he did an 8 page story for me last year...awesome stuff.

**Kel Nuttall** · 12-10-2007, 04:05 AM

Usually balloons should not be just regular ovals.
http://balloontales.com/tips/tvshape/index.html

Tails with shape kind of look more relaxed and less mechanical.
http://balloontales.com/tips/tails_joins/index.html

The thickness of the outlines could go down some, as it is it kind of makes the balloons pop out from the art. Your goal is to kinda blend...present and convey what is required without drawing attention.

The arrangement of text in some balloons is pretty good, while not so much in others.
http://balloontales.com/tips/arrangement/index.html

I don't personally care for the font, it doesn't work as a dialogue font for me. Others may disagree. Hopefully someone else has the right words to convey why certain fonts are better for dialogue.

And your balloon placement doesn't make for proper eye-flow through the page. Meaning the way it is and where it leads your eye naturally is a little confusing, it doesn't necessarily lead you through the story in the proper order.

Sorry for such a bullet points "this is what I think needs work" approach, not time for much else right now. I'd say you're moving in the right direction.

12-09-2007, 05:18 PM	#1
CBrown Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 8	Sequential Suicide "SLOP" I've been lettering for a little while now but I still have a lot of room for improvment. I could use some advice and tips. This is a my contribution to 803 Studios annual themed anthology SEQUENTIAL SUICIDE. Written and lettered by me with art by Daniele Serra.

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12-10-2007, 02:02 AM	#2
theflash Cary Kelley Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: in the darkness where it's nice and cool Posts: 1,679	the balloon breaking out of panel five is distracting...and the font doesn't really do much for the page at all. try varying your balloons as to shape as well. the ones you have seem to be all the same balloon just resized. tails are normally curved as well, but that's a small thing i guess. Dani's great to work with huh? he did an 8 page story for me last year...awesome stuff.

12-10-2007, 04:05 AM	#3
Kel Nuttall DWP EIC & BMF Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: North Pole, Alaska Posts: 2,221	Usually balloons should not be just regular ovals. http://balloontales.com/tips/tvshape/index.html Tails with shape kind of look more relaxed and less mechanical. http://balloontales.com/tips/tails_joins/index.html The thickness of the outlines could go down some, as it is it kind of makes the balloons pop out from the art. Your goal is to kinda blend...present and convey what is required without drawing attention. The arrangement of text in some balloons is pretty good, while not so much in others. http://balloontales.com/tips/arrangement/index.html I don't personally care for the font, it doesn't work as a dialogue font for me. Others may disagree. Hopefully someone else has the right words to convey why certain fonts are better for dialogue. And your balloon placement doesn't make for proper eye-flow through the page. Meaning the way it is and where it leads your eye naturally is a little confusing, it doesn't necessarily lead you through the story in the proper order. Sorry for such a bullet points "this is what I think needs work" approach, not time for much else right now. I'd say you're moving in the right direction.