JLA: Mechanical Mayhem

Tristan Vick · 06-15-2007, 12:53 AM

I knew Sedat back when people said his art sucked. But I saw in him the best potential of anyone back then (almost five years ago now), and now he's better than ever. His art always blows me away, and I know it will you too. Check out his rough layout for this script over in the Sequential Forum: HERE.

Anyway, he asked me for some sample pages of something 'exciting to do' and I wrote this in about one hour and sent it to him. Since people were requesting the script I thought I'd post it here for you all. It's not like I own the characters or anything (hehehe). That said, it's always a pleasure to collaborate with Sedat. His art is amazing and he's a real nice guy.

Enough reminiscing, enjoy!

JLA: “Mechanical Mayhem” (8 pages)

By: Tristan Vick
2007-05-09

PAGE ONE

Panel 1
A large wide panel of a modern Metropolis City (D.C. Universe).

Panel 2
Normal everyday people are walking along the crowded street. It’s busy, like Tokyo is everyday.

Panel 3
A geeky looking kid with a camera looks up at something overhead. The kid is Jimmy Olsen.

JIMMY: LOOK UP THERE. IT’S A…

PAGE TWO

Panel 1
Suddenly, behind Jimmy a gigantic robot smashes into the ground with bone shattering force. Cars and concrete get tossed up into the air from the sudden impact. The robot looks like a retooled Max Fleischer version from the 1940’s Superman cartoons.

Panel 2
People run away screaming. However, Jimmy stands firm and aims his camera to start taking photos.

Panel 3
Jimmy looks through his camera however, his eyes change (getting bigger) with the realization that he’s been spotted by the menacing machine.

JIMMY: UH-OH!

Panel 4
The giant robot begins walking towards Jimmy. In the background two more impacts occur as another three robots crash down.

Panel 5
Jimmy turns to run away, but his face goes white with fear. He stops dead in his tracks.

PAGE THREE

Panel 1
Jimmy is cut off as a third robot has snuck up from behind and it is blocking his path. Jimmy is totally surrounded. The robot stands towering over him.

Panel 2
The robot reaches down with a sharp metallic claw to grab Jimmy.

Panel 3
Without warning there is a flash of red which cuts between Jimmy and the robot.

Panel 4
The robot’s arm is torn off. Sparks and cables poor out of its arm socket.

Panel 5
The Flash stands holding the robot’s arm. He examines it but isn’t impressed.

FLASH: WHAT A PIECE OF JUNK.

Panel 6
Jimmy looks over at the Flash who stands in the distance.

JIMMY: WAIT, WHERE IS…

FLASH: WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMEBODY ELSE?

PAGE FOUR

Panel 1
The giant robot stomps down on the Flash and crushes him into the ground. Jimmy stumbles back from the thud.

SFX: THUD!

Panel 2
Suddenly a golden lasso tightens around the robot with one arm. The lasso is so tight that it crumples the robot’s mid section… making it a skinnier robot.

Panel 3
We pull back to see Wonderwoman holding tight to her lasso (magic rope). She is very sexy (as she anchors the robot off panel). Show her in a strong dynamic pose.

WONDERWOMAN: HEY KID, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEEK COVER. THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET MESSY.

Panel 4
One of the other robots shoots a laser beam from its eye at Wonderwoman.

SFX: ZAP!

Panel 5
Still holding onto her lasso, Wonderwoman deflects the laser beam attack with her bracelets.

SFX: PWA-TING!

PAGE FIVE

Panel 1
Martian Manhunter flies into the tied up robot’s chest. As he smashes into it with his fists he knocks it backward.

Panel 2
The Flash is crawling out of a hole from being stomped into the ground.

FLASH: IT’S ABOUT TIME. WHAT TOOK YOU SLOW POKES?

VOICE (OP): YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL.

Panel 3
From an alley way a dark (but familiar) figure emerges. It’s Batman. He’s partially covered in shadows.

Panel 4
Two robots have engaged Wonderwoman. She’s getting pinned down.

Panel 5
The Flash speeds away in a blur leaving behind only streaks of lightening and red. Batman shoots his trusty grapple gun as they venture into the fray.

SFX: BANG!

PAGE SIX

Panel 1
Flying close behind, two of the robots chase after Martian Manhunter. One of the robots fires missiles from its shoulders.

Panel 2
Martian Manhunter (in mid-flight) dodges the missiles and causes the giant robot to crash into a nearby building. Debris crumbles to the ground. The other robot flies close behind in hot pursuit.

Panel 3
Meanwhile, Batman and Wonderwoman continue to engage the other three robots on the ground. (There should be 5 robots in total now. The two which Martian Manhunter is fighting and three which Wonderwoman and Batman are fighting.)

Panel 4
The Flash has dashed to the top of a tall building (The Daily Planet). He looks down over the edge.

FLASH: CLEANUP WILL ONLY TAKE A SECOND.

VOICE (OP): DON’T GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF.

Panel 5
The Flash looks over at Superman who hovers in midair next to the building. He thumbs upward beckoning the Flash to look up at the sky.

SUPERMAN: WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE MORE COMPANY.

Panel 6
The Flash looks up. His face turns stern and he lets out a sigh. Superman flies up and away.

PAGE SEVEN

Panel 1
Above the city flies an entire fleet of robots. As we look up we can see that some of them look more heavily ‘modified’ than others. The sky is partially cloudy.

Panel 2
Wonderwoman and Batman both look up. The Martian Manhunter is landing next to them as he returns from his fight.

WONDERWOMAN: LOOKS LIKE ROUND TWO, BOYS. BE READY.

Panel 3
Large panel of Superman in a mid-air battle with several of the robots (three or four of them); there are some explosions and such. He’s really tearing it up.

BONUS PAGE (EIGHT)

Draw a pin up (could be a cover or poster splash piece) of Superman, Wonderwoman, and Batman stuck in a mid-air battle with the robots. It should showcase our main three heroes. Show some depth –put each character in a different point in perspective. It should appear like the battle stretches into the sky, like and old fashioned airplane ‘dog-fight’ –the “mechanical mayhem” surrounding our heroes.

Pika!

Tayman227 · 06-15-2007, 11:16 AM

Is it okay if I draw this script too?

J. Alexopoulos · 06-15-2007, 08:23 PM

Nicely choreographed and set up fight scene. I don't read much DC, but I think it's true to the characters. I may be tempted to say that it seems a bit sparse, but it lends itself to the quick tempo. The art looks pretty impressive.

Good luck,
Johnny A

hellblazer72 · 06-16-2007, 12:09 AM

really cool script..i like the robot designs that sedat came up with...i'm planning on drawing up some sample to send out soon and was wondering if you could come up with a 5-6 page sample script...i was thinking of a few characters i'd like to draw and the ones i came up with are mister miracle(scott free), doom patrol, and dr. fate...if you care to write something you don't have to be in a hurry to write it...thanks for reading this..

Tristan Vick · 06-16-2007, 12:31 AM

Tayman227- Sure, anyone who wants to take a shot at drawing can use this script. If I didn't want people using it then I wouldn't have posted it. So go for it!

hellblazer72- I tend to be pretty busy so writing random scripts isn't my top priority at the moment. I have regular writing gigs to keep up with on top of being a full time teacher.

However, don't discredit me yet. If you send some samples of sequential art you've done, I might have some older scripts for you to try out (if you're not too picky). I've got a lot of original concept work too, so let me know you're abilities and I'll get back to you. Send me a link or something.

Thanks for reading everyone! Peace out.

Pika!

hellblazer72 · 06-16-2007, 01:12 AM

these are some old pages atleast 3 yrs old...the style i'm working on is kind of a mix of old mike mignola stuff mixed with bruce timm and mixed with richard case...and i'm planning on getting back to inking my work...hope these help you..

pages

Tristan Vick · 06-22-2007, 10:45 AM

hellblazer72- Your style is coming along nicely. I recommend you practice from some of the good scripts being posted here on DW.

Right now I don't think I have anything for you or your style. But keep on keeping on! Maybe someday, when I'm not so busy, I could write you an original piece. In the meantime, stay in touch, and keep me updated on your progress! Good luck.

Pika!

knockedoutpanzer · 06-22-2007, 11:01 AM

What a lovely, clearly written, script. Grand Stuff.

Tristan Vick · 06-28-2007, 07:11 AM

Thanks for the compliments!

Pika!

06-15-2007, 12:53 AM	#1
Tristan Vick ULTIMATE PIKACHU Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hiroshima, Japan Posts: 37	JLA: Mechanical Mayhem I knew Sedat back when people said his art sucked. But I saw in him the best potential of anyone back then (almost five years ago now), and now he's better than ever. His art always blows me away, and I know it will you too. Check out his rough layout for this script over in the Sequential Forum: HERE. Anyway, he asked me for some sample pages of something 'exciting to do' and I wrote this in about one hour and sent it to him. Since people were requesting the script I thought I'd post it here for you all. It's not like I own the characters or anything (hehehe). That said, it's always a pleasure to collaborate with Sedat. His art is amazing and he's a real nice guy. Enough reminiscing, enjoy! JLA: “Mechanical Mayhem” (8 pages) By: Tristan Vick 2007-05-09 PAGE ONE Panel 1 A large wide panel of a modern Metropolis City (D.C. Universe). Panel 2 Normal everyday people are walking along the crowded street. It’s busy, like Tokyo is everyday. Panel 3 A geeky looking kid with a camera looks up at something overhead. The kid is Jimmy Olsen. JIMMY: LOOK UP THERE. IT’S A… PAGE TWO Panel 1 Suddenly, behind Jimmy a gigantic robot smashes into the ground with bone shattering force. Cars and concrete get tossed up into the air from the sudden impact. The robot looks like a retooled Max Fleischer version from the 1940’s Superman cartoons. Panel 2 People run away screaming. However, Jimmy stands firm and aims his camera to start taking photos. Panel 3 Jimmy looks through his camera however, his eyes change (getting bigger) with the realization that he’s been spotted by the menacing machine. JIMMY: UH-OH! Panel 4 The giant robot begins walking towards Jimmy. In the background two more impacts occur as another three robots crash down. Panel 5 Jimmy turns to run away, but his face goes white with fear. He stops dead in his tracks. PAGE THREE Panel 1 Jimmy is cut off as a third robot has snuck up from behind and it is blocking his path. Jimmy is totally surrounded. The robot stands towering over him. Panel 2 The robot reaches down with a sharp metallic claw to grab Jimmy. Panel 3 Without warning there is a flash of red which cuts between Jimmy and the robot. Panel 4 The robot’s arm is torn off. Sparks and cables poor out of its arm socket. Panel 5 The Flash stands holding the robot’s arm. He examines it but isn’t impressed. FLASH: WHAT A PIECE OF JUNK. Panel 6 Jimmy looks over at the Flash who stands in the distance. JIMMY: WAIT, WHERE IS… FLASH: WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMEBODY ELSE? PAGE FOUR Panel 1 The giant robot stomps down on the Flash and crushes him into the ground. Jimmy stumbles back from the thud. SFX: THUD! Panel 2 Suddenly a golden lasso tightens around the robot with one arm. The lasso is so tight that it crumples the robot’s mid section… making it a skinnier robot. Panel 3 We pull back to see Wonderwoman holding tight to her lasso (magic rope). She is very sexy (as she anchors the robot off panel). Show her in a strong dynamic pose. WONDERWOMAN: HEY KID, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEEK COVER. THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET MESSY. Panel 4 One of the other robots shoots a laser beam from its eye at Wonderwoman. SFX: ZAP! Panel 5 Still holding onto her lasso, Wonderwoman deflects the laser beam attack with her bracelets. SFX: PWA-TING! PAGE FIVE Panel 1 Martian Manhunter flies into the tied up robot’s chest. As he smashes into it with his fists he knocks it backward. Panel 2 The Flash is crawling out of a hole from being stomped into the ground. FLASH: IT’S ABOUT TIME. WHAT TOOK YOU SLOW POKES? VOICE (OP): YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL. Panel 3 From an alley way a dark (but familiar) figure emerges. It’s Batman. He’s partially covered in shadows. Panel 4 Two robots have engaged Wonderwoman. She’s getting pinned down. Panel 5 The Flash speeds away in a blur leaving behind only streaks of lightening and red. Batman shoots his trusty grapple gun as they venture into the fray. SFX: BANG! PAGE SIX Panel 1 Flying close behind, two of the robots chase after Martian Manhunter. One of the robots fires missiles from its shoulders. Panel 2 Martian Manhunter (in mid-flight) dodges the missiles and causes the giant robot to crash into a nearby building. Debris crumbles to the ground. The other robot flies close behind in hot pursuit. Panel 3 Meanwhile, Batman and Wonderwoman continue to engage the other three robots on the ground. (There should be 5 robots in total now. The two which Martian Manhunter is fighting and three which Wonderwoman and Batman are fighting.) Panel 4 The Flash has dashed to the top of a tall building (The Daily Planet). He looks down over the edge. FLASH: CLEANUP WILL ONLY TAKE A SECOND. VOICE (OP): DON’T GET AHEAD OF YOURSELF. Panel 5 The Flash looks over at Superman who hovers in midair next to the building. He thumbs upward beckoning the Flash to look up at the sky. SUPERMAN: WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE MORE COMPANY. Panel 6 The Flash looks up. His face turns stern and he lets out a sigh. Superman flies up and away. PAGE SEVEN Panel 1 Above the city flies an entire fleet of robots. As we look up we can see that some of them look more heavily ‘modified’ than others. The sky is partially cloudy. Panel 2 Wonderwoman and Batman both look up. The Martian Manhunter is landing next to them as he returns from his fight. WONDERWOMAN: LOOKS LIKE ROUND TWO, BOYS. BE READY. Panel 3 Large panel of Superman in a mid-air battle with several of the robots (three or four of them); there are some explosions and such. He’s really tearing it up. BONUS PAGE (EIGHT) Draw a pin up (could be a cover or poster splash piece) of Superman, Wonderwoman, and Batman stuck in a mid-air battle with the robots. It should showcase our main three heroes. Show some depth –put each character in a different point in perspective. It should appear like the battle stretches into the sky, like and old fashioned airplane ‘dog-fight’ –the “mechanical mayhem” surrounding our heroes. Pika! Last edited by Tristan Vick; 06-15-2007 at 01:14 AM.

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06-15-2007, 11:16 AM	#2
Tayman227 Taylor Whitton Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 126	Is it okay if I draw this script too?

06-15-2007, 08:23 PM	#3
J. Alexopoulos AKA Beefpipe Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Whitby, Ontario Posts: 229	Nicely choreographed and set up fight scene. I don't read much DC, but I think it's true to the characters. I may be tempted to say that it seems a bit sparse, but it lends itself to the quick tempo. The art looks pretty impressive. Good luck, Johnny A

06-16-2007, 12:09 AM	#4
hellblazer72 the love ninja Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 874	really cool script..i like the robot designs that sedat came up with...i'm planning on drawing up some sample to send out soon and was wondering if you could come up with a 5-6 page sample script...i was thinking of a few characters i'd like to draw and the ones i came up with are mister miracle(scott free), doom patrol, and dr. fate...if you care to write something you don't have to be in a hurry to write it...thanks for reading this..

06-16-2007, 12:31 AM	#5
Tristan Vick ULTIMATE PIKACHU Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hiroshima, Japan Posts: 37	Tayman227- Sure, anyone who wants to take a shot at drawing can use this script. If I didn't want people using it then I wouldn't have posted it. So go for it! hellblazer72- I tend to be pretty busy so writing random scripts isn't my top priority at the moment. I have regular writing gigs to keep up with on top of being a full time teacher. However, don't discredit me yet. If you send some samples of sequential art you've done, I might have some older scripts for you to try out (if you're not too picky). I've got a lot of original concept work too, so let me know you're abilities and I'll get back to you. Send me a link or something. Thanks for reading everyone! Peace out. Pika!

06-16-2007, 01:12 AM	#6
hellblazer72 the love ninja Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 874	these are some old pages atleast 3 yrs old...the style i'm working on is kind of a mix of old mike mignola stuff mixed with bruce timm and mixed with richard case...and i'm planning on getting back to inking my work...hope these help you.. pages

06-22-2007, 10:45 AM	#7
Tristan Vick ULTIMATE PIKACHU Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hiroshima, Japan Posts: 37	hellblazer72- Your style is coming along nicely. I recommend you practice from some of the good scripts being posted here on DW. Right now I don't think I have anything for you or your style. But keep on keeping on! Maybe someday, when I'm not so busy, I could write you an original piece. In the meantime, stay in touch, and keep me updated on your progress! Good luck. Pika!

06-22-2007, 11:01 AM	#8
knockedoutpanzer Hails Cthulhu! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: england Posts: 970	What a lovely, clearly written, script. Grand Stuff.

06-28-2007, 07:11 AM	#9
Tristan Vick ULTIMATE PIKACHU Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Hiroshima, Japan Posts: 37	Thanks for the compliments! Pika!