Horrible page

hassoe · 04-14-2007, 12:31 PM

So yeah, I don't like it, it feels like four of my standard shots dumped onto a page with hugely over sized text in between them. This is the clean version, there's a swear heavy version on my photobucket account, too. Anyway, here it is, similar theme to my detective covers.

scherzo · 04-14-2007, 03:06 PM

Yeah the huge word balloons are the problem here. The inky shadow effect is working, but I'd actual increase the size of the images while decreasing the balloons. Also the gun should be defined a bit better in the last panel. Post more willya.

-Mark

hassoe · 04-14-2007, 03:28 PM

Got a thread here with similar content:
http://digitalwebbing.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=108444

love to hear some crits on those

hassoe · 04-14-2007, 03:50 PM

Revised the page - changing the text size and making it a lot smaller,/repositioning images and sizes. Anyway, hope this looks a bit better.

Spacious Interior · 04-14-2007, 09:57 PM

I don't think it's so horrible. I'd take this over Frank Miller any day. It's the same basic principal with more information to make it more visually interesting. Kinda' makes me think about what "A Scanner Darkly" would have looked like in black n white.

hassoe · 04-15-2007, 09:59 AM

Heh, thanks. I'm just not sure about it. It's my first attempt at any form of sequentials in a while, though. Might try more of them.

04-14-2007, 12:31 PM	#1
hassoe Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 32	Horrible page So yeah, I don't like it, it feels like four of my standard shots dumped onto a page with hugely over sized text in between them. This is the clean version, there's a swear heavy version on my photobucket account, too. Anyway, here it is, similar theme to my detective covers.

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04-14-2007, 03:06 PM	#2
scherzo I know things Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Kew Gardens, NY Posts: 1,070	Yeah the huge word balloons are the problem here. The inky shadow effect is working, but I'd actual increase the size of the images while decreasing the balloons. Also the gun should be defined a bit better in the last panel. Post more willya. -Mark

04-14-2007, 03:28 PM	#3
hassoe Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 32	Got a thread here with similar content: http://digitalwebbing.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=108444 love to hear some crits on those

04-14-2007, 03:50 PM	#4
hassoe Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 32	Revised the page - changing the text size and making it a lot smaller,/repositioning images and sizes. Anyway, hope this looks a bit better.

04-14-2007, 09:57 PM	#5
Spacious Interior Allergic to Shark Attacks Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The Great State of Perpetual Longing Posts: 1,877	I don't think it's so horrible. I'd take this over Frank Miller any day. It's the same basic principal with more information to make it more visually interesting. Kinda' makes me think about what "A Scanner Darkly" would have looked like in black n white.

04-15-2007, 09:59 AM	#6
hassoe Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 32	Heh, thanks. I'm just not sure about it. It's my first attempt at any form of sequentials in a while, though. Might try more of them.