Opalax versus Starlax

[RRicardo]

Hi everybody! Its , my character called Opalax. I hope likes!
Happy 2007 to all!!!

Best regards!

-R.Ricardo-









Pencil and Ink: R. Ricardo

(c)R.Ricardo/ImageDojo

[MEdlock]

the bodies on the first page are pretty flat, the pose is great and i love the bones and skulls levitateing but the lines dont give this as much action as it should do, and also the bodies them selves arnt as extream, its really hard to tell as the dudes head is covered in energy and you cant see the girls face as to what this panal says to you. is it omg your head is on fire, or omg its YOU the dude with the flameing head and your going to kill me. (kinda random but thats just my opinion hope it made some sence).

on the next page its still not clear, the first pannel is the girl with a pretty blande expression on her face, theres no shock or anger suprise or suspence. if this was a film and your first page was this action shot your next shot of the girl just killed the mood. next panel, the stick which came out of no where, she wasnt holding this on the first page.

on the 3rd page my only crit would be that it might flow better if the 2nd and 3rd panel swapped around, this is more personal opinion than anything.

4th page i love it no crits at all just lovely i really like the pannel lay out.

i hope this has helped you,i can see you have the skills, otherwise i wouldnt waste my time writeing my opinions to help you improve on the things i mensioned above and i would ofc welcome any advice you can give me when i post my work.

[RRicardo]

Originally Posted by MEdlock

the bodies on the first page are pretty flat, the pose is great and i love the bones and skulls levitateing but the lines dont give this as much action as it should do, and also the bodies them selves arnt as extream, its really hard to tell as the dudes head is covered in energy and you cant see the girls face as to what this panal says to you. is it omg your head is on fire, or omg its YOU the dude with the flameing head and your going to kill me. (kinda random but thats just my opinion hope it made some sence).

on the next page its still not clear, the first pannel is the girl with a pretty blande expression on her face, theres no shock or anger suprise or suspence. if this was a film and your first page was this action shot your next shot of the girl just killed the mood. next panel, the stick which came out of no where, she wasnt holding this on the first page.

on the 3rd page my only crit would be that it might flow better if the 2nd and 3rd panel swapped around, this is more personal opinion than anything.

4th page i love it no crits at all just lovely i really like the pannel lay out.

i hope this has helped you,i can see you have the skills, otherwise i wouldnt waste my time writeing my opinions to help you improve on the things i mensioned above and i would ofc welcome any advice you can give me when i post my work.

Yes!! You are right, my friend! Thanks very much for your comments!

Thanks!! Happy Holidays to all who celebrate at this time
of year! Happy 2007!!!

Best regards!

-R. Ricardo-