|10-31-2006, 12:51 AM||#1|
The Masked Avenger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Peru. And I'm not freaking kidding.
OK. Since I seem to be unable to start something, and finish it, I decided that I would start doing what most writers do, and stop feeling special. I now write-up plans, and outline before actually going at it. I know, that sound awfully boring, but its actually quite helpful. In that spirit, I decided to come up with a new miniseries, something that would be relatively short, and straight-forward, with a dumb plot, but just crazy fun, that I could actually start and finish. I usually endevour myself in crazy stories, and I want them to be really long, most of the time, and I just get lost, and never finish it. In this project... well...
I'm done with the first script. Took me a week. I don't know when I'm (and if I ever) going to be done with the series though.
But I already have the start and the finish, and they say the middle-part is the easiest to write (which is a lie), so I'm pretty enthusiastic about it. So, you may be asking yourself, what is this project? Well, this is a Superhero comic. And its just the simplest one you'll encounter. Its basically a copy of the whole concept of comicbooks The Ultimates (in that its a government funded team, and its supposed to be very loud, and have a lot of razzle-dazzle), Squadron Supreme (in that it revolves a lot around the fact that they work for the government, and there's a lot of PR, and war, and stuff involved), Ultimate Spiderman (as in that there's a fifteen year old superhero involved who likes to talk to himself a lot using captions), and The Authority (as far as the general tone, and the whole widescreen approach to storytelling is involved).
It's called Blockbuster, because its supposed to be a dumb action-oriented movie.
And here's the outline of the mini-series:
ISSUE #1 The World's First True Super-Power: Double-sized issue. We meet our heroes, and learn how they were recruited to the program. We learn that Union, Britain's most popular superhero, is the only known member of Project Tomorrow -which is the name of the project- Pre-Launch, and that he's an arrogant prick. In this particular issue he gets talk-show'd by Michael Parkinson, and blows it, stating that people complaining about having superheroes serving the government's agenda is ridiculous, and that they should stop crying just because they'll be "doing the fighting for them." This issue jumps back and forth in time, showing us how Joshua Kennings, and Alan Herbert pitched the project, how Malcolm Davis, and Carol Kyle were recruited, what super-soldier Thomas Townsend was doing before being brought in to the Project (and why he was brought in) and get a small glimpse of Christian Pepall, a 15 year old kid, who can change into a lightning-fueled homicidal superhero. It ends in the present, with the launch of Project Tomorrow. It all goes downhill from there.
ISSUE #2 Larger Than Life: This issue starts in the post-Launch party, were all of the brand-new team is kicking with celebrities, and boozing. Everything seems rosey, and nice. Union is told that he can no longer use that codename, since it is copyrighted by a video-game company, and now that Union is officially attached to the government, the company has someone to sue. that We also visit Christian Pepall, who finds the whole idea of Project Tomorrow cool as hell, and wants in on the team. He also gets bullied a bit, and then beats the shit out of his bullies. Meanwhile, Project Tomorrow is getting murdered by the media, who is saying that they are useless. So, Kennings and Herebert, instead of standing around waiting for a supervillain to arrive, send their heroes to patrol the streets. Malcolm is enthusiastic about it. Carol is also happy, because she never was into the whole superhero thing, and just wants to help people. Thomas is a soldier, and is rigid, and uptight. And Union, now True Brit, doesn't give a damn. We also see a couple of the new things Project Tomorrow is cooking up. A Satellite Watchtower, and Union clones, that will eventually replace the other superheroes in the Tomorrow Team.
ISSUE #3 This Is What They Need: A kick-back issue, in which not much happens. We kick off with a set of testimonials, about how the civillians feel about the street-fighting aspect of Project Tomorrow. Most of them are a bit uncertain on how this sets them apart of when they were working individually, and some label it as a publicity stunt. We visit the team as they hang around, talking to each other. Malcolm breaks up with his girlfriend. Funny stuff. Union acts like a dick somemore. On the other side of town, Christian Pepall is becoming more popular among the masses, as the new craze. Meanwhile, we check back on the clones, learn that Dr. Moore is running things there, and he is a bitter old fool. Most clones are falling apart, but some of the clones that were created with a human-base (meaning that they are just individuals with Union's powers) are getting better results. It ends with the launch of the Satellite to space.
ISSUE #4 Super-Soldiers: The first issue in which the team actually does something. There's a crisis in Iraq, in which a group of soldiers in being kept hostage in an enemy base, which is suspected to be manufacturing genetic-warfare. As in Iraqi super-soldiers. Kennings and Herbert feel that this is the perfect opportunity to flip the negative public viewing of the team, and feel that if the team saves the soldiers successfully, they will be viewed as patriotic, rather than just well-paid useless superheroes. They actually let a newsteam film the whole thing by helicopter. The operation backfires however, when they raid the base, kick some ass, and then Union enters a building alone. The Iraqi obviously surrender, but Union calmly claims that "they are pointing their guns at me" before frying them with his heat vision. The camera films this, although the actual deaths were off-camera, and public backlash is tremendous. They are labeled as inhuman.
ISSUE #5 Adrenaline Shot: The government is seriously considering pulling the plug of Project Tomorrow. Kennings and Herbert need a miracle to keep the project running. They discuss staging a supervillain battle. Meanwhile, Malcolm confronts Union, and Union tells him to bugger off, tha the team is useless, and that they are supposed to be useless, and that he's just a figure-head to make Britain seem like a powerfull country. Malcolm, dissilusioned, goes to party, and gets drunk. In the party, he gets into an insult fight with a civillian which tells him to "go kill some more Arabs." Malcolm starts to beat him up, using some of his powers. He then walks away, and goes flying, while drunk, and ends up crashing into Carol's apartment through the window. Carol makes him sleep in her couch, after discussing the uselessness of the team. The issue ends with the government setting loose one of Union's clones in the city, which proceeds to cause some damage.
ISSUE #6 Real Razzle-Dazzle: Basically a huge kickass action-scene in which everybody's baddass. The team goes to attack the Union clone. Carol tries to burn him, and ends up unconcious, Malcolm throws him around a bit, but can't do much, Thomas, which is just a soldier that injects himself with super-steroids tries to fight him, and actually does hurt him, but ends up with a broken leg, and hands. Finally, Union fights him, and makes a lot of damage, only to have Christian Pepall finally come and end the fight by frying the clone's ass. Basically, the team is made an ass off, and Christian gets all the credit.
ISSUE #7 Aftermath: The fight has destroyed a big part of London. The public is torn, between stating that the team couldn't actually do anything, and saying that they at least tried. Everybody loves Christian though. In that light, Herbert and Kennings make one desperate attempt into salvating the team's reputation by sending Malcolm to recruit him. Not much happens in this issue. Union has taken his clone, which everybody believes is dead, and left him in his basement, to torture him, rape him, and find out more about what the fuck he is. Carol is having serious thoughts about being a superhero, gets visited by Thomas in the hospital, and learns why there's no more super-soldiers using the steroid Thomas is using, being that it has a number of side-effects. In short, Thomas is going to die in a year or two.
ISSUE #8 Lightning Quest [that's a working title, because it kinda sounds ridiculous]: Malcolm flies around the city, looking for Christian. Asking around. Finally, he finds him stopping a robbery. The rest of the issue is them speaking about the Project Tomorrow, being a superhero, and basically bonding. In the end, Malcolm gives Christian a beeper. No fancy Walkie-Talkies. A beeper. Christian can't join the team full-time (because he still goes to school), but can help around, and be an "official" team-member.
ISSUE #9 Pay-Back's A Bitch: We open up in Iraq. We're in some kind of training camp, with a squad of soldiers training hard. Some of them are lifting tractors. Some are running as fast as... I dunno. Something fast. They're using a super-soldier serum, that looks just like the one used by Thomas. Christian gets called to be formally introduced, and does some interviewss. Then returns to his house late at night, gets yelled at by his mother, and father. Another member of the team is introduced too, which actually doesn't have superpowers. His name is Andrew Evans, and he is an agent, very James Bond like. He is meant to keep an eye on the team, for things like Iraq don't happen again.
ISSUE #10 Invasion: The Iraqi government plan is set in motion. First, terrorism happens in London, with numerous bombs being set off in major city districts. The team is out there taking care of damage control, while the Iraqi supersoldiers are infiltrating into the satellite. They are being teleported in, seeing as how they have hacked, I don't know, the "teleportation-code" or something, and can end up inside the satellite. The rest of the team can't teleport in. The super-soldier is inside, with a broken leg however. Christian gets called in to attack the Satellite, which is being driven (?) towards the earth (it will land in Russia, or China, or someplace), and stop it somehow. Christain can't go, because his parents won't let them leave the house, and he can't bring himself to tell his parents he can save the world.
ISSUE #11 Tomb of the Unknown Soldier: The team keeps struggling, Thomas beats the Iraqi supersoldiers, blowing them up, and damaging the Satellite. He ends up killing himself, changing the course of the satellites towards the sea. Kennings and Herbert also die, btw, which makes me sad. The rest of this issue we deal with that, and the official announcement is made that the team is being shut-down. There's no money left to fund it, and its been overall a failure. We learn, however, that there must've been a mole in the satellite, that gave the super-soldiers the teleportation codes. We also learn that Union knows about the clones, because of what he has taken out of the mindless babble of the clone he is keeping in his basement.
ISSUE #12 Bad Motherfucker: We rewind a few weeks, and learn that Union took the information from his clone, and confronted Kennings and Herbert, which blew him off, and just paid him more money. Union, being a bad motherfucker, and not wanting to be in the Team anymore, contacts a small terrorist faction, and gives them everything they need to know to strike back at the Western world. Thomas' super-soldier serum, and the teleportation codes, and everything, in exchange of a large amount of money. In this issue we also change back and forth, from present to past. In the end, Andrew Evans, who has been investigating it, leads a team of agents and stuff to attack Union.
ISSUE #13 Big-Budget: Double-sized issue. His plan backfires. Union has been expecting them, and he manages to fight most of the agents, to proceed to beat the shit out of Evans. But just when all hope seems lost, Malcolm and Carol, who have been called by Evans proceed to fight Union. They manage to fight him a bit, but in the end, it seems rather pointless. Union, which remember, is actually True Brit now, is a Superman. But we're forgetting about someone: Christian. Who comes like lightning to beat the living shit out of Union. The battle climaxes when Union rips Christian's necklace (which is what makes him transform) and then the lightning which is meant to hit Christian to transform him back to his normal self pierces his chest, and then hits Christian making him a kid again, and covered in Union's blood, who walks away, shocked, and trying to cure himself (he has some sort of healing factor). But before he can do anything, Evans puts a gun in his head. Union tries to justify his actions, telling him about the staged battle, and the clones. Evans shoots him in the head, which is possible, seeing as how he was weak and healing. Malcolm and Carol are disgusted, and Christian is in shock, and brought into custody.
ISSUE #14 And They Lived...: The Aftermath issue. Christian is taken by the government, his parents talked to and his necklace is taken into custody. In the end, it seems that it will be use to create some sort of replacement for Project Tomorrow, this time a bit more black-ops. Meanwhile, Carol and Malcolm talk a bit, have meaningless sex, and decide to come clean about the whole thing to the press. We finish with Evans visiting them, and having a conversation. "You know, we can't let you do that," says Evans, before walking away from the house. Carol asks Malcolm about what are they gonna do. Malcolm tells her that they can do whatever the fuck they want. They're superheroes.
Malcolm: Magician. Can control gravity to fly, make other people fly, and do Jedi-like force pushes and stuff.
Carol: Firestarter. Is like a female Human-Torch, only he doesn't get covered by fire when he "Flames On", and can't fly.
True-Brit: Formerly Union. He is basically a Superman, with laser vision, superstrength, flight. However, he doesn't have any kind of super-breath, speed, hearing, or X-Ray vision.
Thomas: Infiltrator (working name, till I get a better codename), who is basically Captain America dressed as a coat-less Midnighter (see sig), and without the little holes in the eyes.
Evans: Is just a guy, with a couple of guns. Super-coolness?
Kennings and Herbert: Government suits, which craft up the Project, and shit.
And that's it. I don't expect you to have read all that, but if you have, what do you think? I could post some script pages if you like.
|11-02-2006, 09:56 PM||#2|
Are you watching closely?
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: cincinnati..nuff said
this was a very different read. Its not a bad read but just need to get used to it. I thought it was interesting but I would like to read more about this
Shield of Justice
Youtube-Shield of Justice trailer
|11-03-2006, 01:33 AM||#3|
The Masked Avenger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Peru. And I'm not freaking kidding.
Well, here's [part of] the first script.
Here's the first page, and Union on the Parkinson show, with my little nod at The Ultimates.
Our first panel consists on a wide-shot of a girl, standing on an expensive looking balcony. Its late in the afternoon, and she’s looking at something in the distance. The girl’s name is Carol Kyle, and she’s twenty-three years old. She’s wearing an old sweatshirt, and a couple of ripped out jeans. She looks like a bum, even though everything around her looks expensive, and luxurious.
The same shot, only two dashes of blue, and red are flying past her, in front of her balcony. We can tell they are people. Or, in this case, super-people. Carol remains unaffected, as if she doesn’t notice them.
Close-up on her. Her blonde hair is finally moved by the air the flying men made. She follows them with her eyes, annoyed, and mutters something under her breath:
Our first big splash page is set in the streets of London, there’s not so many people walking around, but most of them are bums, wearing coats, trying to protect themselves from the cold winter. The streets are wet, and the trees are naked. In the background, there’s a huge wall, which looks like its falling down. Most of it is covered in graffiti. Most of it is just scribbles. “Tony <3s Chichi.” “Screw Blair.” “The brain is my second favorite organ.” But there’s a picture, which dominates the wall: Union. He’s a superhero, and someone has painted him all over the walls of London. He has blonde hair, blue-eyes, a white smile, and a tight-suit with the Union Jack set in his chest. The painting only shows half his body, though, and he looks like a cartoon. Under him, it reads: “A True Brit.” And all of the credits go on the bottom of the page, as well as the title of the story:
CAPTION: The World’s First True Super-Power.
We go to a television-shaped panel. In it, we can see our boy Union being interviewed by a talk-show host. The talk-show host is actually Michael Parkinson. Under them, we get a message, reading: “Union talks about British Tomorrow program.” Union looks like a true Übermensch. He is well-built, sits up straight, and never seems to stop smiling, showing us his perfect teeth. His legs are crossed, as he talks, relaxed, shifting constantly. Parkinson simply listens. The panels are set over a black background, taking half of the page, with the actual talking set next to the panel, with no word-balloons involved, taking up the other half.
UNION: Well, somebody’s got to do it, eh?
UNION: People are trash-talking us, because they say the government’s gunna be tellin’ us who the bad boys are.
UNION: I say, what’s wrong with that? You got these small time super-guys going at it, with spandex-wearing idiots…
UNION: Sometimes, you just got to listen to the suits, let them point you towards the real problems.
PARKINSON: But, Mr. Union, you can hardly fail to understand why this issue has got the people all worked up. The whole concept of using superheroes to serve the government’s agenda…
PARKINSON: I mean, pit against a country like Iraq, it would simply be inhumane.
Union scratches his chin, chuckling softly.
UNION: Now, Michael. Let’s be frank. We –our country- are fighting for our rights. For our freedom. For things like the London Bombings never to happen again.
Union points at the Union Jack in his chest, laughing.
UNION: Not so long ago, your country would drag you to the army, and make you gain your freedom. Now, we’re doing that fighting for you, and you’re complaining? What are we supposed to do? Stand-by?
UNION: I mean… Please. Do you think these colors in my chest stand for Switzerland, mate?
And this pages are pretty successfull on contrasting the action part of the book, with the talking heads sections. We get Union being an ass, while the team is still in its early stages. And we get the introduction of the Supersoldier character.
Close-up on a newspaper, being hold by Herbert, as he shows it to us. In it, there’s a photo of Union, talking with Michael Parkinson, in their interview that happened earlier this issue. The headline reads: “Project Tomorrow To Serve As Military Ploy?” The actual article, of which we can’t really see much, should read: “World-famous Post-Human Union received negative comments after declaring yesterday in an interview with veteran talk-show host Michael Parkinson that the ‘superheroes’ of Project Tomorrow would “do our fighting for us” in the so-called War Against Terror, to which Britain has been assisting the United States of America…” and so on.
We zoom out of the newspaper, and see that Kennings and Herbert are walking down a corridor inside the Secret Service’s headquarters in Vauxhall Cross. They are wearing their suits, as always, but Kennings has some fancy Ray-Ban classic sunglasses on.
KENNINGS: So, what?
HERBERT: So, this is the kind of bullshit that’s going to sink this project in the mud!
Angle on Kennings, who’s raising an eyebrow.
KENNINGS: You’re over-reacting.
HERBERT: Oh, please! Joshua, the launch is three fucking weeks away, we are already getting murdered by the press, and…
Herbert reads the newspaper.
HERBERT: I mean, have you read this?
KENNIGNS: Of course, I--
HERBERT: ’Do you think these colors in my chest stand for Switzerland?’ Union asked, sarcastically…
HERBERT: After assuring that Project Tomorrow was going to do ‘the fighting for us’--
KENNINGS: Could you stop?
HERBERT: No, it gets better, you--
KENNINGS: I’ve read the bleeding article, Alan, but its not as bad as you make it sound!
They have stopped walking, and Kennings is holding Herbert’s shoulders, trying to get him to simmer down.
HERBERT: I’m not making it sound like anything! He said those things! He said them and—-!
KENNINGS: OK, you really need to calm down, Herbert, you--
HERBERT: You calm the fuck down! We should’ve never brought him onboard, we…
Union walks into the panel, walking calmly towards the both suits, which look at him, alarmed. Union’s in costume, and drinking a bottle of beer.
UNION: Did I nail that interview, or what?
We go to a high-angle shot, as Union walks past Herbert, tapping his shoulder, and sipping his beer.
HERBERT: Uh… Well…
KENNINGS: You were fine.
We get a close-up of Union’s face, as he looks over his shoulder, with a soft smile in his face. He looks as if he has been listening in all along.
UNION: There was some nonsense in the newspaper this morning, though. Was there a problem about that with the boys upstairs?
Kennings and Herbert look at each other, shaking their heads.
KENNINGS: Nothing, just some grumbles here, and there--
HERBERT: Yeah, not much. But, listen, Union, if you could just--
Union walks away, sipping his beer.
UNION: Well, good.
UNION: ‘Cause I look bloody handsome in them pictures.
We go into a room, in the same building. It’s a fancy looking waiting-room, and there’s two people in it. Malcolm Davis, which is floating in mid-air, with his hands in the back of his neck, as if he was taking a nap. He is wearing a plain-looking t-shirt, a pair of worn out jeans, and some sandals, as well as a black fedora, which he is tilting forward. Sitting in a leather couch close to him, is Carol Kyle, whom is smoking, as he stares at Malcolm, half-intrigued, and half-disgusted. Carol looks as if she has dressed up to go to work on an office.
She looks away, uncomfortable.
Then looks at him again.
Finally she speaks. Malcolm looks at her, straightening up his hat.
CAROL: Do you have to do that?
MALCOLM: Do, what? Float?
CAROL: It’s unsettling. Can’t you just sit?
MALCOLM: Um… No. I float. That's what I do. That's what they're paying me for.
CAROL: Well, you don’t have to do it all the time.
MALCOLM: You’re smoking.
CAROL: So? I just gave you one not two minutes ago.
MALCOLM: But it still bothers me when I’m not the one doing it.
Carol looks away, giving up, and the cigarette in her hand catches fire, and disintegrates. Malcolm reverts to the same position he was earlier, with the fedora tilted forward, and with his hands in his neck.
CAROL: Fine. Happy? Now stop.
MALCOLM: Yeah… I don’t think so.
CAROL: Ugh! It creeps me out!
Angle on the door, as Herbert, Kennings and Union walk inside. Herbert leads the way, talking.
HERBERT: Alright, boys and girls, lets get tracking. This is Frederick Gallagher, you know him as Union.
Kennings walks past Herbert, as Malcolm sits in the air, straightening up for Union. He is genuinely impressed with the famous superhero.
KENNINGS: Congratulations. You two are now part of the select few that actually know his real name. As always, this is extremely hush-hush.
MALCOLM: Whoa. You’re Union, mate.
Angle on Union as he waves his hand, looking bored.
Angle on Herbert as he explains why they’re late.
HERBERT: Sorry we’re late, by the by, Union was doing his thing.
UNION: Some bloody idiot almost drove his truck out the London Bridge. I swear to God, these people are getting stupider each day.
Kennings is sitting down next to Carol, while holding a file, and skimming through it.
KENNINGS: Well, you won’t have to bother yourself with those matters after the launch.
Angle on Carol, as she asks Kennings what he’s talking about.
CAROL: What do you mean?
KENNINGS: Well… That’s kind of beneath you now. I mean, you’ll be taking care of the big things. Supervillains. Alien invasions. Y’know, the razzle-dazzle.
KENNINGS: That’s why we called on you guys in. Best of the best.
KENNINGS: Muggers, and car-crashes are Bugman’s business now.
MALCOLM: Yeah, about that.
MALCOLM: Is this is? Just us three? Because that’s not what I had in mind, at all. I mean, I was picturing, like, a battalion of us.
Union interrupts him.
UNION: What? You don’t think we’re enough?
We go to Malcolm, who stutters, and scratches his head, nervously.
MALCOLM: Well, no… I mean… Yes. What...? Look. What I meant was that… that I thought we’d be, like… a bigger organization…
MALCOLM (small lettering): Or, something.
Angle on Union as he speaks to him. Every time he speaks, its like he owns the room. He is no explaining something, he is telling Malcolm how things are done, and how they roll.
UNION: Let me tell you something about people, kid.
UNION: People are not impressed by quantity. You think that we’d be scary if we were letting everybody into the team?
MALCOLM: Well… Of course not, but maybe--
Malcolm tries to say something, to avoid looking like a complete ass.
MALCOLM: But that’s not what I was saying--
UNION: I don’t care. And Mr. Kennings, Mr. Herbert, and Ms. Kyle certainly don’t either. We’re an elite squadron.
UNION: You got me. We’re enough.
Everybody stays quiet for a moment. Malcolm straightens his fedora, angry with himself.
HERBERT: We have your schedules. We’ve still got a couple of weeks before the launch, and it’s the first time the team is together, so you have to use your time to get to know each other.
Herbert hands each of the superheroes a piece of paper.
HERBERT: Seeing as how everybody except for Union is unknown to the public, we have to make it seem as if you’ve known each other for a very long time.
HERBERT: Give yourselves some credibility, you know? Then we have to work on your back-stories, and choose codenames that’ll work with the media.
Carol doesn’t like the idea.
CAROL: But… Do we have to have a codename? I mean, why can’t I just be Carol Kyle…?
KENNINGS: Because Carol Kyle is boring, and stale. We need to dress, to impress, people.
KENNINGS: So, if you have any codenames in mind, I suggest you tell me, or our PR girl… I... You know, whats-her-face.
Kennings is walking now, and tapping Malcolm’s shoulder.
KENNINGS: And to answer Mr. Davis’ question:
KENNINGS: No. You’re not the whole team. We still have one more super-guy for you out there.
|11-03-2006, 01:35 AM||#4|
The Masked Avenger
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Peru. And I'm not freaking kidding.
Change of setting. Close-up on a rusty looking jet injector. It is being pressed against a naked leg, by a hand gloved in black. There’s not much light around the place.
CAPTION: The General called me last night.
CAPTION: Told me I have one more job to do before I’m discharged.
Close-up on a pair of grinding teeth, as the jet injector does its thing.
CAPTION: He said…
CAPTION (small lettering): Ugh. Just… Alright. OK. Ah.
CAPTION: He said he had to talk to me. That he has a… proposal, for me. Made it sound like it wasn't a proposal at all.
The person’s backside, as he lifts his pants back again. He is wearing a black ninja-suit of a sort, with a number of gadgets strapped in belts all around. He is a black-ops operative, and kinda looks like the main character from Splinter Cell, in case you need more of an accurate description of the suit. Right now, we can’t see much other than his butt, and the things surrounding him. A couple of guns. A huge machine gun, maybe a M249, or a M14, or whatever. A couple of metal blades.
CAPTION: After I’m done with the job: infiltrating a military base, and rescuing some poor fellow who has been eating shit for the last few days, being asked things he doesn’t know, in a language he doesn’t understand.
CAPTION: Nothing too hard.
PAGE TWENTY-NINE AND THIRTY: BIG PANEL TAKING ONE THIRD OF THE TWO PAGES, AT THE LEFT, AND FIVE EQUALLY SIZED STRIPS TAKING THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PAGE.
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
The title-page, and we get a distant long-shot of the same man from the first few panels leaping between a couple of rooftops. He is carrying his huge machine-gun in his hands, and everything around him is going crazy. Red lights are flashing all around. Searchlights flashing everywhere. Actually, he is leaping towards the rooftops where a couple of the searchlights are. They don’t know where he is though. The base itself isn’t that big. It is in a desert in the middle of nowhere. It’s the middle of the night. We are pretty far away from the scene, but we finally get a full body shot of the man who had been narrating before. He is dressed completely in black, and he has a cowl covering half of his head, but with no holes for him to be seeing through. He has a couple of grenades strapped to his chest. A retractable blade in his wrist, ready to come out whenever he wants, a knife strapped to the back of his waist, and a couple of more guns. He is ready to kill.
We cut to the ground, were a coupe of Iraqi soldiers are running around, barking orders, red lights flashing around them, one of them is pointing somewhere. All of their dialog is in Arab, so it doesn’t really matter what he actually says.
SOLDIER: Come on, people! I want every inch of the base searched!
The infiltrator lands has landed on the rooftop, and now we get a close-up shot of him pressing his back against a concrete wall on the roof (maybe some kind of exit door?), hiding from the two soldiers working the lights. He is biting his lip, ready to attack.
TWENTY METERS UNDER THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE:
We change of setting, and go underground, in the interrogation chamber, which is pretty much were you would expect pigs to live in. We get a Dutch angle shot of a naked man, who looks like he hasn’t eaten in at least a week, lying in the ground, smiling softly. He has been beaten to now end. He has fresh scars in the sides of his lips, and a bowl full of feces next to his face, for him to it. An Iraqi soldier is kneeling next to him, pressing his neck, asking him questions. Again, in Arab.
SOLDIER: Who is doing this?! Who has been sent to get you?!
A overhead shot of the infiltrator as he speeds out of his hiding spot, still ducking, and shooting the soldiers mercilessly. One of the soldier’s head explodes, while the other turns, surprised.
We go downwards, and get a low-angle shot of yet another man being shot by the infiltrator, this time from the roof. The Iraqi soldier is still holding his walkie-talkie, and was apparently speaking to it before getting pierced by the bullets. Again, in Arab.
SOLDIER: I see him! I said, I--!
10 METERS UNDER THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE:
A long, full body shot of the Infiltrator, as he walks through a corridor, engulfed in red-alert lights. We can’t see his eyes, but he seems decided, letting his machine-gun lead the way. He is heading towards his target.
INFILTRATOR: Happy birthday, luvs.
Over the shoulder shot of the infiltrator as he shoots one of the three incoming soldiers in the chest, who look like they’ve just walked out of bed. Two of them are shirtless, and only the one who has just been shot carries an actual rifle. The other two are carrying handguns.
We get a low-angle shot of the infiltrator shooting in the background, and a foot being pierced in the foreground.
We change our angle, and as the soldier with the shot foot falls to the ground next to the first one –who is dead-, the other is rendered useless by the infiltrator, who has just broken his leg, with a ruthless stomp in the knee, at the same time, while carrying his machine-gun with one hand, his blade unsheathes from his wrist.
Finally, angle on the back of the third soldier, as the infiltrator pierces his stomach, and shoots his machine-gun downwards over the soldier’s shoulder towards the one who is lying in the ground.
20 METERS UNDER THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, AGAIN:
Jump cut to the interrogation room, as the infiltrator kicks the metal door open, breaking the lock. Inside, the prisoner is still in the floor, but the interrogator is sitting in a stool, with his back to the wall, and pointing a gun towards the door that just opened. It would be better just to show the infiltrator in this panel, though. The soldier is very scared, too.
The soldier’s point of view as he points his gun towards the infiltrator, who simply shrugs, shaking his head.
INFILTRATOR: Oh, please. C’mon, now.
The infiltrator uses his boot to press the soldier’s hand, and gun, against the wall. He shrieks with pain.
We go downwards, towards the interrogated soldier, as he looks upwards, weakly, broken. We can tell he is very happy, though.
Same shot, only the infiltrator’s gun has just been dropped in front of him. The soldier stares at it as it’s a gift from heaven.
INFILTRATOR (O.P.): Christmas came early for you, eh?
We go to an airport, where the Infiltrator, now dressed as a civilian, is towards the exit, to get picked up. He is dressed in jeans, and a black t-shirt, which is tucked in. He is blonde, and blue-eyed. He actually looks a lot like Captain America, and is carrying a black bag, which has all of his belongings inside. Dog-Tags are hanging off his neck. Anybody that looks at him can tell he’s a military man.
KAYLEIGH (O.P.): Thomas? Thomas Townsend?
Kayleigh is the PR girl of the Project, and is waiting for him in the exit, with a small sign that reads: “Townsend”. The soldier walks with her towards the exit of the airport, while talking to her. He doesn’t seem very comfortable with the whole thing.
KAYLEIGH: Oh, thank God, I was starting to think I’d lost you.
THOMAS: My flight was late.
KAYLEIGH: Yeah. Everyone’s flights are late, these days, honey.
They walk outside of the airport into the coldness that is London.
KAYLEIGH: Anyways, I’m Kayleigh Declan. I’m one of the Public Relationship Managers of Project Tomorrow…
KAYLEIGH: Thomas Townsend. That’s your real name, right?
Angle on Thomas as he looks at her, puzzled.
THOMAS: Um… Yes. Why… Why wouldn’t it be?
KAYLEIGH: Well, I don’t know, sugar. I mean, you military people have your codenames, and your secret identities, right?
KAYLEIGH: I barely know the names of the people I'm working for.
A black car is waiting for them outside. Thomas opens the door for her, to get inside.
KAYLEIGH: Here we are.
KAYLEIGH: Thank you, hon.
THOMAS: Well, I have been barely briefed about the Project. I was… I was hoping that perhaps I could talk to the supervisors myself.
The car drives away.
KAYLEIGH: Oh, you will as soon as we get to Vauxhall Cross.
KAYLEIGH: They just sent me down here, because they were caught up in some media thing, they had to supervise. They didn't want to have Union flying solo on interviews again, after what happened the other day.
Finally, here's a small scene featuring Christian.
We go to the launch-site again, at the steps of the British Parliament, getting a Bird’s Eye View shot of all the people waiting for the actual announcement. Some are holding signs, some are protesting the thing, some are waiting to see their favorite superhero. Two of them, are trying to get past the crowd, to get a better view. Its Christian and his friend, Emily.
CHRISTIAN: Move. Coming through.
CHRISTIAN: Sorry. Move, please.
EMILY: Jesus ‘Effin Christ, Christian, stop moving!
We get closer to them, as Christian pushes someone to the side, to get past him, as Emily follows, frustrated.
EMILY: We’re close enough!
CHRISTIAN: Close enough? We won’t be able to see shit from here, Em.
EMILY: So, what? We can see enough. What the fuck’s the matter with you? Why are you so excited over this?
Christian looks at her, as if there was something wrong with her.
CHRISTIAN: Em. It’s a team.
CHRISTIAN: Of super-people.
CHRISTIAN: It’s a super-team, man. It’s like the biggest thing since Elvis.
Emily grabs Christian’s shoulder, as he opens his way, trying to get closer.
EMILY: I swear to God, Chris, sometimes you’re just annoying.
CHRISTIAN: Hey, c’mon. You’re always dragging me to your… those punk-y things.
EMILY: They’re concerts.
CHRISTIAN: They’re not concerts if there’s no real music involved.
Emily punches him in the neck, softly.
EMILY: They’re fun.
CHRISTIAN: And this isn’t?
|11-19-2006, 05:54 PM||#8|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Hey Icaruss, it looks pretty good, you have a nice sense of dialogue, some of the humor reminds me of Garth Ennis.
I haven't gotten through the entire script because my attention span is that of a gnat, but from what I read so far it looks promising.
The only comment I do have is if the concept has been beaten to death recently, with Supreme Power, Authority, Ultimates, and to a lesser extent X-Statix. However that is my humble opinion.
Aside from the generic concept, you have a great sense of style and dialogue. Definitely promising. Good work