Superman Page

robozo · 07-09-2012, 03:26 PM

hello everyone

i drew this page just recently, its a practice piece, thats why it doesent have a story, hope you dont mind!

greetings robozo

http://robozo.deviantart.com/#/d56pmy2

Rex · 07-09-2012, 05:15 PM

First of all, when you're making your post, click the "insert image" button, and enter your image URL (not your page URL). Then we can all see without having to go to another site. Which has kept me from looking at pages in the past.

Second, this looks pretty good. You're controlling your black areas well, and your linework is reasonably smooth.
My least favorite element of the art is Superman's cape in panel 1. The line of the cape meets the line of a building top. Since you're not using gutters between panels (which makes me think you are lazy), panel 1 looks like it's divided in 2.
The other element I don't like is between panels 2 and 3. Superman looks left, then we see his p.o.v... and it's straight down. I don't think you should do any more pages without stories. There are plenty of scripts out there you can draw from.

robozo · 07-09-2012, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rex

First of all, when you're making your post, click the "insert image" button, and enter your image URL (not your page URL). Then we can all see without having to go to another site. Which has kept me from looking at pages in the past.
.

thanks for the critcs rex, i posted the link right at first, but then the page was to big for my screen, so i posted the other link.

you are right, im working on a 4 page story,with storytelling, ill post it here soon.

OZ! · 07-09-2012, 08:05 PM

Not too shabby. I have many more crits than Rex did unfortunately. Some I will repeat, some I won't, but all of them were spot on.

We'll start with border separation. Add some. Next, its a Superman comic but you never once drew the symbol? And why no fingers for his hands? There are a few weird anatomy spots too(besides no fingers) such as the extremely tiny neck in the first panel and the fact that in the last panel his legs seem to be offset from his hips. And then finally is something Rex touched on that I must repeat. The ambiguous cardboard cape kills a lot of the things you did really well. Learn folds and flow for fabric, they will help you immeasurably.

Now, its never cool to just rip a guy's art to shreds without pointing out some of the stuff you did wonderfully. 1st: The panels, regardless of lack of separation are still easy to follow and the storytelling for what this is works pretty danged well. Your bus are good and separate themselves from the characters too. Pu the amount of attention from the bus into your characters and you will have something quite good.

Good luck!

robozo · 07-10-2012, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OZ!

Your bus are good and separate themselves from the characters too. Pu the amount of attention from the bus into your characters and you will have something quite good.

Good luck!

hey oz

thanks for the crits, what do you mean with "bus", i dont understand the sentence above.
also what iritates me a bit is the crit about supis legs being "off" the hip somehow, how else should i draw this pose?

OZ! · 07-10-2012, 05:57 AM

Spell check killed it. It was supposed to be "BGs" or backgrounds.

As for his legs. His hip is broken. Like so. Attach them to the torso and adjust for perspective and they won't look off.

robozo · 07-10-2012, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OZ!

Spell check killed it. It was supposed to be "BGs" or backgrounds.

As for his legs. His hip is broken. Like so. Attach them to the torso and adjust for perspective and they won't look off.

thanks oz, i apreciate it, i was afraid the legs would look to skinny if i did it like this, how about doing the belt part a bit wider and leaving the legs as they are?

OZ! · 07-10-2012, 07:15 AM

Its a good idea but it will screw up the perspective. His body is going to "shrink" in and the way you drew his torso is spot on for the perspective as is. As for it being skinny, naw. If it seems too skinny in a pose like this, it usually means you should shorten the leg rather than thicken it. Its weird but it works.

robozo · 07-10-2012, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OZ!

Its a good idea but it will screw up the perspective. His body is going to "shrink" in and the way you drew his torso is spot on for the perspective as is. As for it being skinny, naw. If it seems too skinny in a pose like this, it usually means you should shorten the leg rather than thicken it. Its weird but it works.

i guess youre rhight, now that i look at it i can see the legs are looking funny, thanks for telling me!!

greetings robozo

07-09-2012, 03:26 PM	#1
robozo Registered User Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 176	Superman Page hello everyone i drew this page just recently, its a practice piece, thats why it doesent have a story, hope you dont mind! greetings robozo http://robozo.deviantart.com/#/d56pmy2

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07-09-2012, 05:15 PM	#2
Rex The Antidrama Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 172	First of all, when you're making your post, click the "insert image" button, and enter your image URL (not your page URL). Then we can all see without having to go to another site. Which has kept me from looking at pages in the past. Second, this looks pretty good. You're controlling your black areas well, and your linework is reasonably smooth. My least favorite element of the art is Superman's cape in panel 1. The line of the cape meets the line of a building top. Since you're not using gutters between panels (which makes me think you are lazy), panel 1 looks like it's divided in 2. The other element I don't like is between panels 2 and 3. Superman looks left, then we see his p.o.v... and it's straight down. I don't think you should do any more pages without stories. There are plenty of scripts out there you can draw from.

07-09-2012, 08:05 PM	#4
OZ! All Powerful Wizard Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 4,501	Not too shabby. I have many more crits than Rex did unfortunately. Some I will repeat, some I won't, but all of them were spot on. We'll start with border separation. Add some. Next, its a Superman comic but you never once drew the symbol? And why no fingers for his hands? There are a few weird anatomy spots too(besides no fingers) such as the extremely tiny neck in the first panel and the fact that in the last panel his legs seem to be offset from his hips. And then finally is something Rex touched on that I must repeat. The ambiguous cardboard cape kills a lot of the things you did really well. Learn folds and flow for fabric, they will help you immeasurably. Now, its never cool to just rip a guy's art to shreds without pointing out some of the stuff you did wonderfully. 1st: The panels, regardless of lack of separation are still easy to follow and the storytelling for what this is works pretty danged well. Your bus are good and separate themselves from the characters too. Pu the amount of attention from the bus into your characters and you will have something quite good. Good luck!

07-10-2012, 05:57 AM	#6
OZ! All Powerful Wizard Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 4,501	Spell check killed it. It was supposed to be "BGs" or backgrounds. As for his legs. His hip is broken. Like so. Attach them to the torso and adjust for perspective and they won't look off.

07-10-2012, 07:15 AM	#8
OZ! All Powerful Wizard Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 4,501	Its a good idea but it will screw up the perspective. His body is going to "shrink" in and the way you drew his torso is spot on for the perspective as is. As for it being skinny, naw. If it seems too skinny in a pose like this, it usually means you should shorten the leg rather than thicken it. Its weird but it works.