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Old Today, 07:45 AM   #16
pandayboss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan Henry View Post
Here's an idea -- Writers, post your best one-page stories here. A while ago, CHWolf suggested posting one-pagers that seem like part of a bigger comic. If that's your thing, go for it. But self-contained stories are cool too!

3
2
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Go!



“NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP”

a horror story in one page

Script by Evan Henry

1- Establishing shot. The bedroom of a five-year-old boy at nighttime. The child (for purposes of dialogue we’ll call him BOBBY) lies on his bed under the covers as his MOTHER bends down to kiss him good night. Seen around the room are the various artifacts you would see in the bedroom of a small child -- toys, stuffed animals, etc. A window (partially closed off by drapes) is visible on the far side of the room from our POV, and through the window we see that it is night. The full moon is also partially visible.

MOTHER: GOOD NIGHT, BOBBY. MOMMY LOVES YOU.

2- His MOTHER is now visible standing in the doorway. She has just turned off the overhead light in the bedroom, and now the only light visible is pouring in from the door. She is looking in on BOBBY, who is visible in the left-hand foreground, his eyes closed. He is feigning sleep.

MOTHER: I’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. DON’T LET THE BED BUGS BITE.

3- Same shot as the last panel, except now the door has been closed and the only light is coming from the moon, streaming in from the window. BOBBY’s eyes are now wide open.

NO COPY.

4- View from outside the bedroom window, with a barren tree branch protruding into our frame of view. Inside, BOBBY has sat up in bed, now sitting on his knees with his hands clasped together and his eyes closed in a classic praying pose.

BOBBY: NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP…

5- Closer in as BOBBY continues praying. The panes of the window are now in the immediate foreground.

BOBBY: …I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP…

6- Closer still. Now a close shot of BOBBY, still kneeling and still praying.

BOBBY: …IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE…

7- Small panel. Close-up on BOBBY’s mouth, smiling a wicked smile with a mouth full of razor-sharp fangs.

BOBBY: I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE.


29 Jan ‘11
Awesome! I've come across something close to this story which I pencilled a long time ago for an entry to DWP anthology.
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Old Today, 07:47 AM   #17
pandayboss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graveyard Dog View Post
I was converting my blog to script format and sort of fizzled out for the night. Decided to toss in a one-pager just to get away from my big projects for a bit.

Brand new to this so feel free to critique anything about it - would love to have some feedback.


Pistol Packing Granny

One Page Short

Author: Unknown
As re-told by The Graveyard Dog

Scenario: A police officer has initiated a traffic stop and finds an elderly lady behind the wheel. The officer soon finds out that there is no such thing as a ‘routine’ traffic stop.

Panel One: A long shot establishing the scene of an elderly lady behind the wheel of a larger, out-of-date car. There is a patrol car behind her with the lights activated. The police officer is approaching the elderly lady’s door. The elderly lady is digging through her purse in order to get her papers ready for the cop.

OFFICER: (Thought) Greeeeaaaaaaat… a blue hair. I hate stopping older drivers…

Panel Two: A medium shot focusing on the officer standing along side the door of the lady’s car. The lady has retrieved her wallet which stands open for the officer to see as he begins to address her.

OFFICER: Hello, Ma’am. Can I see your drivers license, registration, proof of –

Panel Three: We focus on the face of the officer who is obviously - surprised? Alarmed? Perhaps a little of both. As he points towards the wallet of the elderly lady.

OFFICER: WAIT! Is that a concealed carry permit?!?!

Panel Four: Returning to a medium shot of the officer standing alongside the lady’s window as the two converse.

ELDERLY LADY: Yes it is, officer. I have a .45 in the glove box, a 9 mil under my seat and a .38 strapped to my ankle.

Panel Five: A medium shot of the two, focusing on the reaction of the officer as he inquires about the old ladies need for the weapons.

OFFICER: Wow – that is a lot of firepower. Tell me, Granny… just what are you so afraid of?

Panel Six: A medium shot of the lady and the officer conversing, however this time we focus on the elderly lady’s face. There is a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous grin across her mouth.

ELDERLY LADY: Truthfully, sonny – NOT A GOD-DAMNED THING!
That's a cool story and a bit funny too. Really good. As an artist, while reading this, I cane picture the panel layout in my head. Good work!
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