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Old 04-19-2018, 10:23 AM   #1
SSTiger
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Hellboy vs. Darth Vader: The Demon's Whisper

So, here's the DARTH VADER story that was written for the Group Project but didn't happen. When you read it you'll be able to guess why.




THE DEMON'S WHISPER



OVERVIEW

Now, unlike all the other stories in the anthology, this one wasn't told from Hellboy's perspective. It started with Hellboy already trapped in a Star Destroyer, and ended with Vader, so this would've been Vader's tale. I wanted to present Hellboy as one of those scary, truly demonic characters that sometimes appear in stories. You know, a mysterious, powerful entity whose motivations are unknown, and they see into the truth of things, speak dark secrets...

PAGE ONE
Buildup and reveal of Hellboy cleaving his way through a bunch of storm troopers.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Black Panel. No image. We start with some voices, like we're slowly fading into the scene.
1. RADIO VOICE (NO TAIL):
- questing assistance, need reinforcements in the cargo bay right now -
2. RADIO VOICE (NO TAIL):
- killing us, this thing's cutting through the entire guard platoon -
3. RADIO VOICE (NO TAIL):
- do not, repeat, do not engage the target in close quarters, maintain distance -
Panel 2:
Black Panel. No Image.
4. RADIO VOICE (NO TAIL):
- watch out for that right hand -
5. RADIO VOICE (NO TAIL):
Command Center to Squad Five, please respond...
Panel 3:
Big Splash of Hellboy fighting the troopers in the cargo bay of the Star Destroyer. It's a chaotic fight in which Red is just plowing through the troopers in a way that should be making them shit themselves.

I've got my vision of the scene below, but if you can think of another way to represent it no problem. But do make sure that there is only one splash here and not two, since the one line of dialogue here would carry the most impact if it were a single panel.

As the person on the radio feared in the previous panel, Red's engaging them at close quarters, to his advantage. I picture him just BREAKING one trooper like a twig doll, like maybe forcing back the trooper's rifle arm with his left (normal) hand and TWISTING the guy's HEAD with his right (Doom) hand, while at the same time kicking another trooper who's next to him. Two or three more are lying dead at his feet.

Red has also strategically positioned himself in such a way that the two troopers he's engaging are in BETWEEN him and the other storm troopers, basically using them as human shields. Other stormtroopers who managed to get some distance are firing on the fight, indiscriminately hitting both Hellboy and the two troopers he's grappling with. Shots are ricocheting off around the scene.

NOTE: It seems the blaster shots HURT Hellboy, but not nearly enough.
6. RADIO VOICE (NO TAIL):
...in the name of the emperor, what are you fighting?
PAGE TWO
Hellboy dodges the troopers, runs out of the cargo bay and into the corridor that runs along the side of the ship. (NOTE: This is where we'll have the showdown with Vader in the following pages.) A tall window starting at waist height and going up to the ceiling runs along the corridor, through which can be seen the panorama of outer space. Red sees this and stares in shock as he realizes where he is.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Hellboy is THROWING the trooper he was holding at the other troopers. The dead trooper is hitting two others who are falling.
1. HELLBOY:
That's enough.
Panel 2:
Reverse angle. The camera is behind and above some of the troopers, beyond which Red can be seen disappearing through the door.
No Dialogue.
Panel 3:
Inside the corridor/hallway. The window is to our left. Red EMERGES from a door to the RIGHT.
2. HELLBOY:
I have had it with gettin' tossed around like a -
Panel 4:
Close up of Hellboy's face. He's seeing something behind the camera that's a real shock.
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
Wide panel from just behind Hellboy. We see him from the waist up and past him the window and the vastness of outer space beyond it.
3. HELLBOY:
Aw, crap.
Panel 6:
Another wide panel. This time from OUTSIDE the Star Destroyer, showing the whole ship.
No Dialogue.
Panel 7 (INSET):
This is an INSET panel, with an ARROW pointing to the side of the ship. This panel is basically a ZOOM-IN shot of the place where Hellboy is: We see Red through the window, from the waist up, still looking shocked.
4. HELLBOY:
Okay.
5. HELLBOY:
This is the worst one yet.
PAGE THREE
New troopers show up but don't engage (because Vader's here, so why bother?); we then cut to a splash of the big man himself for the reveal.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
The camera is to the right of Hellboy, in the middle of the corridor. Red has drawn the Samaritan with his left hand, because past Hellboy we can see four storm troopers emerging from another door.
No Dialogue.
Panel 2:
Same camera angle but Red has turned to face the troopers (now has his back to us), pointing the Samaritan at the troopers, who are aiming the blaster rifles right back at him.
1. HELLBOY:
Before I kick the crap out of you idiots...
2. HELLBOY:
...anyone care to explain where I am?
Panel 3:
Same camera angle. One of them, a captain, is holding up his left hand in a fist, in a "hold fire" signal, lowering his blaster as he CRANES his neck, looking at something that is behind both Hellboy and the Camera.
3. STORM TROOPER CAPTAIN:
You are in trouble, creature.
4. SOTRM TROOPER CAPTAIN:
<Hold fire.>
Panel 4:
Close up; view from the shoulder up from just behind Red - he's turning to see what's behind him.
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
Splash on the bottom of the page. We see what Hellboy sees: DARTH VADER is standing in the corridor. About three or four more troopers are behind him, but they are also holding fire. (Note: Vader has his light saber OUT in his right hand, but hasn't activated it - YET.)
No Dialogue.
PAGE FOUR
Red and Vader engage briefly in some tough-guy talk, then Hellboy charges at Vader like a bull and Vader activates his saber.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Wide. Long two-shot of Red and Vader; Red on the left side of the panel, Vader on the right. On the other side is the window and through it, space. The two of them are silent, sizing each other up.
No Dialogue.
Panel 2:
Same scene.
1. HELLBOY:
You must be the big bad man around here.
2. HELLBOY:
Any chance you'll leave me alone till I can get outta your hair?
Panel 3:
Close on Vader's helmet-eyes. No response.
No Dialogue.
Panel 4:
Close on Hellboy's eyes. Waiting.
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
Back on Vader's face. He speaks:
3. VADER:
Surrender and I will let you live.
Panel 6:
Close up on Hellboy's face. Angry.
No Dialogue.
Panel 7:
Tall panel. View from behind and above Vader: Hellboy is CHARGING straight at him, Hand of Doom drawn back to deliver the patented punch.
No Dialogue.
Panel 8:
Close on the lightsaber in Vader's hand, now activated.
4. SFX:
KZZT
PAGE FIVE
Vader strikes Hellboy, but he is able to block it with his Hand of Doom, which it turns out cannot be cut even by the legendary weapon.

Vader then unleashes several hits on Red, who repeatedly blocks him with his Doom Hand. For a reference on the visuals, watch the two fight scenes between Hellboy and Prince Nuada from The Golden Army - especially the first one set inside the BPRD Library, where Red uses his hand against Nuada's spear strikes.
(Starts at 2:18 in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nebpwrwSFMI)

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Splash. This is the panel that needs to be the focus of the page. Vader has stopped Hellboy's charge with a powerful lightsaber strike. Red has raised both hands (Hand of Doom on top of the normal left hand) to defend himself and the saber is striking the KNUCKLES of his Doom Hand. The blow is blocked but sparks fly as two objects of power meet.
No Dialogue.
Panel 2:
NOTE: This one is tricky to describe; ask me if it is unclear because this should be another cool shot.
This is a close-up shot of Hellboy, his hand of Doom almost horizontally held in front of his face. The THREE KNUCKLES of the hand's fist are GLOWING bright ORANGE from the lightsaber strike. The hand is also blocking the bottom half of Hellboy's face (nose and mouth unseen). Basically this should seem like Hellboy's eyes peering over his glowing hand, anger and fury clear in them.
No Dialogue.
Panel 3:
Close on Vader's face. He's curious about what the fuck just happened.
1. VADER:
Interesting.
Panels 4-9:
These six panels are basically Vader striking from different angles to try and hit flesh, but the lightsaber is deflected each time by the Hand of Doom. All six should be small panels, to show the speed at which the fight is taking place. For some diversity, show Hellboy dodging down/back to avoid the saber in one or two of the panels.
No Dialogue.
PAGE SIX
Red gains the upper hand for a brief moment but Vader moves on to the Force Choke.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Extreme Close on Hellboy's eyes. The glow of the lightsaber reflecting in them.
No Dialogue.
Panel 2:
Extreme close on the eyes of Vader's helmet. Again, the red glow is reflected in the surface of his helmet.
No Dialogue.
Panel 3:
Hellboy KICKS Vader in the stomach, sending him stumbling backwards.
No Dialogue.
Panel 4:
Vader, bent over but still in control, is SKIDDING backwards along the floor, sliding his left hand on the ground to balance himself and holding the saber out with his right hand. Superhero-landing pose. For a reference on this one, check the freeway chase in Captain America: The Winter Soldier where the Winter Soldier is thrown off the roof of the car and lands himself on the road without injury.
(0:21 here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hACCXA1U7kQ)
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
On Vader, rising from his superhero pose on the ground. Ominous. Threatening.
No Dialogue.
Panel 6:
Hellboy pointing the Good Samaritan off-panel at Vader.
1. HELLBOY (SMALL):
Been saving a Big Boom round all day for something like this...
2. HELLBOY:
Any last words?
Panel 7:
Extreme close on Hellboy's RIGHT eye. Surprise and shock.
No Dialogue.
Panel 8:
Extreme close on Hellboy's throat.
3. HELLBOY:
<HGHK>
Panel 9:
Close on Red's hand as the Samaritan drops from it, the wrist having gone limp.
No Dialogue.
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Old 04-19-2018, 10:24 AM   #2
SSTiger
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PAGE SEVEN
Vader chokes out Hellboy and Palpatine demands to see him.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Vader, now standing with the saber in his right hand, holding out his left hand in the Force Choke finger sign. Red, standing before him, is CLAWING at his throat, unable to figure out what is happening.
1. HELLBOY:
<HHHGGKK>
2. VADER:
That hand.
3. VADER:
It does not belong to you.
4. VADER:
I can sense its true nature.
Panel 2:
Hellboy is now on his KNEES before Vader, still clawing at his throat.
5. VADER:
You use it like a brute. As if merely possessing a weapon gives you strength.
Panel 3:
Close on Vader's face.
6. VADER:
You do not know what strength is.
7. VADER:
What power is.
Panel 4:
TOP-DOWN View. Camera looking down on Vader, standing over Hellboy who is sprawled on the ground, nearly unconscious now.
8. VADER:
Can you feel the Dark Side of the Force?
9. VADER:
This is power.
10. RADIO VOICE:
Lord Vader.
Panel 5:
Close on Vader's face as Palpatine gives him orders.
12. VADER:
Master?
13. RADIO VOICE:
Bring him to me.
Panel 6:
POV panel THROUGH Hellboy's eyes. We see what he's focusing on: Vader's face as he stands over him. The panel should be slightly OUT OF FOCUS, to show that Red's getting knocked out; two EYELID SHAPES are closing over the panel, with Vader's blurry face in the middle.
14. VADER:
Yes...
15. VADER:
Master.
PAGE EIGHT
Hellboy wakes up inside a transparisteel cage.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Black Panel. No Image.
No Dialogue.
Panel 2:
Black Panel. No Image.
1. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
<unintelligible>
Panel 3:
Black Panel. No Image.
NOTE: Balloons must be BIGGER than in the previous panel.
2. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
<unintelligible>
3. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
<unintelligible>
Panel 4:
Black Panel. No Image.
4. BALLOON (NO TAIL) (SMALL):
...no species that the empire has record of.
Panel 5:
Black Panel. No Image.
5. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
Curious.
Panel 6:
Black Panel. No Image.
6. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
Why keep it alive, master? This thing is barely -
7. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
Because there is power in this one. I sense it.
Panel 7:
Black Panel. No Image.
8. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
Slumbering, perhaps, but power nonetheless. It can be awakened.
Panel 8:
Black Panel. No Image.
9. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
And speaking of slumbering...
10. BALLOON (NO TAIL):
...I know you are awake, creature.
Panel 9:
Black Panel. No Image.
No Dialogue.
Panel 10:
Extreme close up on Hellboy's eyes, open.
No Dialogue.
Panel 11:
Pull back a bit to show a close up on Hellboy's face. (He's lying on his side on the cage floor).
10. VOICE (OP):
Good. There is no need for a charade.

Panel 12:
On Hellboy, sitting up inside what looks like a transparent, cylindrical the cage. We cannot see the top of the cage.
11. VOICE (OP):
And you will soon learn...
PAGE NINE
Hellboy finds himself inside a transparisteel cage in the Emperor's chambers.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Wide panel. EMPEROR PALPATINE is sitting on his throne-like chair, full-on creepo.
1. PALPATINE:
...I cannot be so easily deceived.
Panel 2:
Full shot of Hellboy, now standing inside the cage. The top has a black metal cap and has some tubes attached for air and stuff.
No Dialogue.
Panel 3:
Show the whole scene: Palpatine is several feet away from the cage (but still close enough to be heard); Darth Vader on the other hand stands right next to the cage, and the Good Samaritan is lying on a small coffee-table-looking-thing next to him.
2. PALPATINE:
So tell me...
Panel 4:
Close on Palpatine, doing that creepy smile of his.
3. PALPATINE:
What are you?
Panel 5:
On Hellboy. He's angry, but suppressing it to a cold look.
4. HELLBOY:
It's complicated.
PAGE TEN
Palpatine attempts to recruit Hellboy, who plays along for time.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Extreme close on the Right hand of Doom.
1. PALPATINE (OP):
Of course. And your hand?
Panel 2:
Close on Hellboy. Smiling an ugly smile.
2. HELLBOY:
Belonged to a great spirit of war. Creator of the Dragon Ogdru-Jahad.
Panel 3:
Wide panel, on the table on which is Hellboy's gun.
3. PALPATINE (OP):
Fascinating.
4. HELLBOY:
If you say so.
5. PALPATINE (OP):
I can teach you to unlock the true power of that hand, creature.
6. HELLBOY:
Before we get into that, quick question:
7. HELLBOY:
Did you really put me in a glass cage?
8. PALPATINE (OP):
That is transparisteel, demon.
9. HELLBOY:
Transparisteel.
10. PALPATINE (OP):
Yes.
Panel 4:
Hellboy, inside the cage, is DRAWING BACK his Hand of Doom to punch through the transparisteel.
11. HELLBOY:
'Kay.
PAGE ELEVEN
Hellboy breaks out and punches Vader.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Wide. Hellboy is PUNCHING the cage with his Doom Hand, shattering it.
No Dialogue.
Panel 2:
Hellboy has landed outside the cage, and Vader has activated his lightsaber.
1. HELLBOY:
Oh, no you don't -
Panel 3:
Splash. Hellboy is GUT-PUNCHING Vader, and PARTS are FLYING off of his suit. The malfunction makes Vader drop the lightsaber as well.
No Dialogue.
Panel 4:
Close on Hellboy's hand, which is picking up the Good Samaritan.
2. PALPATINE (OP):
Well, well...
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Last edited by SSTiger; 04-19-2018 at 09:36 PM.
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Old 04-19-2018, 10:24 AM   #3
SSTiger
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PAGE TWELVE
Palpatine tries to get Hellboy to kill Vader.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
On Vader lying on the ground, sparks flying from his suit, parts broken and scattered around him.
1. PALPATINE (OP):
It seems your hand has bested Lord Vader's suit, beast. Very impressive.
2. PALPATINE (OP):
What are you waiting for?
Panel 2:
Mid shot of the emperor, waist up. Creepy smile again.
3. PALPATINE:
Kill him.
Panel 3:
Hellboy, Samaritan in hand, looking at the camera in surprise.
4. HELLBOY:
Excuse me?
5. PALPATINE (OP):
You would spare an enemy that powerful?
Panel 4:
On Palpatine again. He has stood up from the throne.
6. PALPATINE:
Kill him and you may take his place.
7. HELLBOY (OP):
Isn’t he like your right hand man or some shit?
8. PALPATINE:
Such is the way of the Sith. Order can only be established through dominance.
Panel 5:
Back on Hellboy, standing over Vader.
9. HELLBOY:
Another old man, making grand plans about remaking the world in his image. I've had enough of that where I come from.
10. HELLBOY:
Pass.
Panel 6:
Close up of Palpatine's face. Angry.
No Dialogue.
PAGE THIRTEEN
The portal opens up. Palpatine tries to subdue Hellboy with lightning, which he's immune to. Hellboy shoots the emperor and incapacitates him.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Hellboy, looking behind him, seeing the portal.
1. HELLBOY:
And look at that, it's time for me to leave.
2. PALPATINE (OP):
No.
Panel 2:
Mid shot of the Emperor. He's shooting LIGHTNING from his hands.
No Dialogue.
Panel 3:
Side view of Hellboy. He's blocking the lightning with his hand of Doom but the electricity is still crackling all over his body. It's not enough to bring him down, however.
No Dialogue.
Panel 4:
Close on Hellboy's eyes. MAD.
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
Close on the Emperor's eyes. "Oh, shit, I just fucked up" face.
No Dialogue.
Panel 6:
Hellboy, body smoking a bit from the lightning's aftermath, is pointing the SAMARITAN at the camera. The portal is behind him. Remember the Big Boom round he was saving?
No Dialogue.
Panel 7:
Emperor Palpatine has managed to throw up a FORCE SHIELD in front of himself, but it is EXPLODING from the Samaritan's shot, sending him stumbling backwards.
No Dialogue.
PAGE FOURTEEN
Hellboy whispers something in Vader's ear and disappears; Palpatine then recovers to find Hellboy gone.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Hellboy, on one knee, next to Vader, is WHISPERING something into his helmet.
1. HELLBOY:
<Unintelligible>
Panel 2:
Same scene, same angle, except now Hellboy is GONE, leaving Vader alone in the panel.
No Dialogue.
PaneL 3:
Palpatine, on the floor next to the throne, is grabbing its armrest to help himself up.
No Dialogue.
Panel 4:
On the portal. It is closing, almost gone.
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
Same as previous panel, except the portal is gone now.
No Dialogue.
Panel 6:
Big. Another top-down view, of the whole scene: Vader incapacitated, cyborg parts lying around, Palpatine now on his feet. The carnage that Hellboy has left behind.
No Dialogue.
Panel 7:
Close on Palpatine. Giving an annoyed huff.
2. PALPATINE:
Hmf.
Panel 8:
Black Panel. No Image.[INDENT][INDENT]
3. CAPTION (PALPATINE):
"Disappointing..."
PAGE FIFTEEN
This scene is set later on in the infirmary, where Vader is inside a Bacta tank, recovering from the fight as Palpatine stands next to the tank, reminding Vader of his failure.

NOTE: Inside the tank Vader is a cripple, since he has to leave most of his cybernetic parts behind to go into the bacta. Found some images online about what that would look like, here and here.

Suggested Panel Layout

Panel 1:
Vader, armor-less but wearing a tank mask, is inside a Bacta Tank. Palpatine is standing near it, speaking to him.
1. CAPTION (HEADING):
Later.
2. PALPATINE:
...the creature could have been useful.
3. PALPATINE:
Annoying, as well. It seems even our top minds cannot track that portal.
Panel 2:
On Vader inside the tank.
4. PALPATINE (OP):
And you, Lord Vader, came so close to being replaced today.
5. PALPATINE (OP):
Meditate on this as you heal. The Second Death Star is almost finished...
Panel 3:
Palpatine is walking away from the tank, still yapping.
6. PALPATINE:
And with it, the Rebellion's end looms closer.
7. PALPATINE:
Do not fail me again.
Panel 4:
Close up on Vader's face.
No Dialogue.
Panel 5:
Flashback. Close up on Hellboy whispering something in Vader's ear.
No Dialogue.
Panel 6:
Close up on Vader's face again, in the present.
No Dialogue.
PAGE SIXTEEN
We reveal what the "whisper" was and close off with Vader.

Suggested Panel Layout


Panel 1:
Flashback. EXTREME close on Hellboy's lips as he whispers:
1. HELLBOY (SMALL):
All that talk of power...
2. HELLBOY (SMALL):
And you're still just a slave.
Panel 2:
Back in the present. Close up on Vader's face. His expression is unreadable.
No Dialogue.
Panel 3:
Flashback. We are inside WATTO'S SHOP in Tattooine. Watto is yelling something at little Anakin, who is working on some electronics.
No Dialogue.
Panel 4:
Extreme Close up on Vader's face inside the Tank. The expression shouldn't be obvious, but subtle anger.
HEADING (CREDITS):
THE DEMON'S WHISPER
BY SAHITH S. TIGER & <>
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________________
-FIN-
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________________

I would love to hear your critiques, just, please, make sure that the critiques are really critiques and not rants about what a horrible person I am for expecting someone do draw a script that long and that complex and etc. etc. This script was written after an artist (DavidNH) was attached to it and in collaboration with him. We were originally aiming for twelve pages; my first draft ran eighteen, and after some discussion we managed to bring it down to fourteen, with a lot of the Black/No Image panels carrying some of the dialogue, which he was okay with.

However, as some of you already know, Marvel recently tapped David for an evaluation, asking him to draw a couple of their scripts, and that happened right when I'd gotten done with the writing and we were starting off on the layouts. Since we'd been banking on him being available during this time that threw a wrench into the plans here. Three other artists saw the script - one was horrified and flat-out refused to even try; another was interested in doing it but he's currently working with me on a comic series for Webtoon and we couldn't squeeze in the time; and a third ghosted on me after making some very enthusiastic promises about wanting to draw it. By the time April dawned I had to throw in the towel because it was clear even if an artist was attached we'd end up holding up the project even further, and I admitted defeat.

Since there isn't much to do with this script I thought I'd post it here as a writing sample, and I've posted the sixteen-page version I wrote while editing it down because that's the one I like best. The point here being, the script was developed with the attached artist's input and a longer version is posted here for the Showcase, so please don't tear my head off. I have confidence that had we had the time, we would've pulled this off, because even in the middle of drawing two scripts for Marvel over the last three months David managed to put together seven pages in color for the other "Monsters" story that I wrote for the project.

Anyhow, a glimpse at what could've been. Thanks for reading.
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Last edited by SSTiger; 04-22-2018 at 03:00 AM.
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Old 04-19-2018, 06:39 PM   #4
12013
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12013 will become famous soon enough12013 will become famous soon enough

If i had the time...i would have drawn this without any hesitation exactly as it is. Very enjoyable.
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Old 04-22-2018, 03:15 AM   #5
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That was the general reaction I got from artists, LOL... anyhow, thanks for commenting.
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Old 04-22-2018, 03:03 PM   #6
12013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SSTiger View Post
That was the general reaction I got from artists, LOL... anyhow, thanks for commenting.
oh yeah..i think you nailed characterization and everything. and the pacing and the tone and vibe and the flow all seemed to come together juuust right. we could always to an "untold tales" of hellboys adventures and this could go in it, given that someone actually draws it. there is a big part of me that kinda wants to take a crack at it..cause it seems so fun.
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Old 04-23-2018, 11:55 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 12013 View Post
we could always to an "untold tales" of hellboys adventures and this could go in it, given that someone actually draws it. there is a big part of me that kinda wants to take a crack at it..cause it seems so fun.
Hey, no objections here

I think the big hurdle with this would probably be the time it would take to draw up. Like I mentioned, we were counting on that time being available, which is why we were aiming high.
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