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Old 02-05-2018, 11:36 AM   #1
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The Devil and The Detective Pages

Some pages for the next issue of my comic, The Devil and The Detective. Thoughts and critiques welcome! https://jj422.deviantart.com/







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Old 02-05-2018, 11:05 PM   #2
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This does look very intriguing. Want to know what is happening.... that a good thing.

Not a huge fan of the art style, although it is growing on me abit.
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Old 02-08-2018, 03:30 PM   #3
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Thanks for your response!
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Old 02-08-2018, 04:55 PM   #4
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I'm still a big fan. I think you have some really awesome ideas. like really awesome.

are these pages in sequence? cause I'm having a hard time following the exact story.

like..in the first page..

girl in store...creepy guy creeping on her and she gives him the finger(funny). then shes at the register..and ...someone has stuff coming out of their eye? it took some looking at it to conclude that its the store worker that has stuff coming out of the eye? I'm guessing? its a hard transition that isn't super clear.


page 2

now there is a shot of feet. whos? is it the same creepy guy from before? it isn't clear.

the shot of the register gal grabbing the main girl I think would be better if it was flipped...for easier visual flow of character placement.
then we are outside with the detective..hes seeing a bunch of zombified(or whatever) humans walking towards them with more creepy stuff coming from their eyes... got it so far. so this is happening to people all over. I like this idea.
so then detective guy sees inside the store and sees main girl being attacked. got it.
suddenly we see Devil guy whos there unexpectedly jumping out of the car. I'm sure this was visually set up in pages previous..but for what we are seeing here..it was kinda out of the blue. but if it was set up..it probably works.


page 3
heres where a bunch of confusion sets in. devil guy is suddenly jumping at creepy guy in the store? I think its to much of a jump without better visual set up. you don't see devil guy go into the store.. you don't see the encounter being set up. hes just suddenly ON the guy. its a hard transition that doesn't work I don't think.
it took a bit of looking to see that the creepy guy envelops the devil (or something like that.) VERY cool idea though. but hard to make out. and the girl is looking..and there is a hand coming out of creepy guy? what? is it the devil guy? I guess.
then everyone is gone.
soooo...I'm guessing devil guy gets sucked into creepy guy and grabbed the girl and pulled her into creepy guy as well.
its all hard to tell.

page 4

devil and girl are in hell or wherever they went. okay.. cool. the monster is a GREAT design by the way. this is cool.

so...I think I'm following the story so far.. but its rough in a few places as far as the visual storytelling.

but I will say again.. I'm 100% interested in your story, designs, and concepts. I DO plan on buying the digital copy like you offered me over on deviantart.

hell...if you would be up for it.. maybe I could do a pin up or a 2-3 page short story with you on this...? just a thought. but I REALLY like this.

ROB
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Old 02-09-2018, 09:26 AM   #5
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Hi again Rob, the pages aren't in a sequence, which may be why you're having a hard time following them. The pages are 3, 4, 6, and 15 of the story. (there's a whole page of Satan walking into the store and facing off against the creepy guy and another page to establish where all the characters are before the first page here, for example.) I just posted some of the best looking pages, but your right it does create some confusion if you follow them like it's pages 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Your suggestion about flipping the register girl panel is great, though, and I'll keep that in mind moving forward. I'm glad that you liked the design of the creature; I spent a lot of time on it.

As far as doing a 2-3 page story or a pin up, it doesn't look like there'll be space for that any time soon, but I'll let you know.

Thanks for your reply!
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Old 02-11-2018, 11:51 AM   #6
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Wow. I really like your style. Nice pages and design.
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Old 02-12-2018, 03:48 PM   #7
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Thanks for your response, Scribbly!
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Old 02-22-2018, 01:30 PM   #8
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Pencil pages

Some pencil pages for the second issue of The Devil and The Detective, available here: a.co/eljCGPn



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Old 03-05-2018, 01:51 PM   #9
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The Devil and The Detective cover from sketch to finished version!

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Old 03-15-2018, 03:49 PM   #10
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Pages 1 and 2 from The Devil and The Detective #2



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