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fisherkingart · 07-24-2012, 07:47 AM

Unfortunately, I've got some new opportunities so I may not be able to return to this story for a litttle while. But figured I could use the critique on this page!

Check out more at my blog.

creativesynergy · 07-24-2012, 08:11 AM

Very nice storytelling. I have a question, though: Is the character in the first panel the same as the man in the tree in the second? Costume-wise he looks similar, but without the facial decorative detailing.

Steve

creativesynergy · 07-24-2012, 08:21 AM

Post your Nightmare page, please. I'd like to comment on it.

Steve

OZ! · 07-24-2012, 11:08 AM

Pretty good stuff here. In the first panel you use hatching that doesn't accentuate the curves of the figure or enhance the lighting and isn't used anywhere else. With that in mind you shouldn't have used it.

In Panel 2 you forgot about your main character's face! Where did the runes go? That's very lazy considering all the work you put into the armor.

In Panel 3 the cobblestones don't seem to be receding in perspective and neither character seems to be looking behind them. They seem to be staring at each other instead.

Panel 4 is great.

There are other questions though. Why is there a tree branch that large in the middle of the road? Why would warriors face a castle they were guarding? If that tree branch is supposed to be higher, your character needs to be much smaller.

The art in this is very nice, although I would suggest working at a higher dpi so the lines don't show their shakiness as much. Good luck!

badapple · 07-24-2012, 03:25 PM

OZ, seems like you covered just about everything

fisherkingart · 07-24-2012, 07:53 PM

All great critiques guys! Thanks! For the person who requested the nightmare page:

OZ! · 07-24-2012, 08:06 PM

Very nice. You can feel the emotion in this one.

07-24-2012, 07:47 AM	#1
fisherkingart Registered User Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 25	Latest Page Unfortunately, I've got some new opportunities so I may not be able to return to this story for a litttle while. But figured I could use the critique on this page! Check out more at my blog.

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07-24-2012, 08:11 AM	#2
creativesynergy Steve Colle, Editor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 1,300	Very nice storytelling. I have a question, though: Is the character in the first panel the same as the man in the tree in the second? Costume-wise he looks similar, but without the facial decorative detailing. Steve

07-24-2012, 08:21 AM	#3
creativesynergy Steve Colle, Editor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 1,300	Post your Nightmare page, please. I'd like to comment on it. Steve

07-24-2012, 11:08 AM	#4
OZ! All Powerful Wizard Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 4,499	Pretty good stuff here. In the first panel you use hatching that doesn't accentuate the curves of the figure or enhance the lighting and isn't used anywhere else. With that in mind you shouldn't have used it. In Panel 2 you forgot about your main character's face! Where did the runes go? That's very lazy considering all the work you put into the armor. In Panel 3 the cobblestones don't seem to be receding in perspective and neither character seems to be looking behind them. They seem to be staring at each other instead. Panel 4 is great. There are other questions though. Why is there a tree branch that large in the middle of the road? Why would warriors face a castle they were guarding? If that tree branch is supposed to be higher, your character needs to be much smaller. The art in this is very nice, although I would suggest working at a higher dpi so the lines don't show their shakiness as much. Good luck!

07-24-2012, 03:25 PM	#5
badapple Aiming For Perfection Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Southern Cal. Posts: 794	OZ, seems like you covered just about everything

07-24-2012, 07:53 PM	#6
fisherkingart Registered User Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 25	All great critiques guys! Thanks! For the person who requested the nightmare page:

07-24-2012, 08:06 PM	#7
OZ! All Powerful Wizard Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 4,499	Very nice. You can feel the emotion in this one.