NIGHTWING SAMPLES - by Cloves

[Cloves Rodrigues]

Hello

the page 01, but unfinished, i will do more details today and shadows

i hope you like



and have more soon

thanks

Cloves Rodrigues

https://oficinadobill.wordpress.com/

[Shep]

I like where this is going. Great start to a splash page, I'm looking forward to seeing it finished.

[Scribbly]

Only two figures and the image look cramped.
The muzzles of the guns are both cut off panel.
The guy elbow is over the girl’s head, almost over her face.

Also, both are aiming the same gun model and it seems
That she is left handed and
the guy is right handed on using it.

Nice line rendering.

[Cloves Rodrigues]

thanks Shep and thanks for your tips Scribbly,

the page finished - page 01

[Paul Sanderson]

Beautiful page. Please show us more from the project.

[Rex]

His crotch makes me uncomfortable.
Looks like the vanishing point is right there on his superhero junk. I tell you, my eye doesn't go to Barbara's attractively flat midriff, or the futuristic space guns. It goes to Nightwing's oddly asexual, curiously-shaded, spread-eagled-for-all-to-see, is-he-wearing-a-girls-thong-from-1992, penile area.
And that makes me unhappy.


Put the vanishing point somewhere else!!!!!!!!

[MattTriano]

Awkward crop made egregious by the tilted frame. Dubious focus, choose one character as the principle and organize your information around him/her; that person should be in foreground, engaging the reader.
Drawing overall is ok. Little dark, like the clear line breakdown you posted first better than the over-rendered 'finish.'
Nightwing's pelvis is inaccurate; at that angle we'd be seeing just under his meat and veg but because that's hard to draw you may want to lift the horizon so you don't have to extend his bulge like you have (you may want to lift the horizon and reposition focus for a bunch of reasons).
NEVER tilt information in a panel
NEVER crop hands, feet, or other important information like the barrels of these guns. Isn't the front of the gun an important piece of information to include?
NEVER invent a thing when you can use reference. Do the guns need to be made up? The hallway? What if they were carrying AK47's and standing in a sewer tunnel? Editors don't want to figure out what they're holding and where they are, they want to glance and know and go 'wow nice guns, nice tunnel, accurate' but more than that they want to GLANCE and go, 'nice composition, nice figures, believable space, nothing wonky, confident layout, clear storytelling, etc.'
Where are we BTW? In samples it's always nice to put the extra effort to distinguish location, shows you're thinking. Underground? In space? How do I know? Show me.
Make settings interactive, not just a background but a three dimensional stage.

Nice effort overall. I like a lot of the cosmetic stuff, but structure needs work.
Think about what you're thinking about.

Thanks for posting, it's a hard thing to ask for critique online. It bodes well for you.

Keep going. Keep posting.

M

[Troy Wall]

Crotch. Looks like an elongated crotch from a naked barbie doll figure.

And I know all about naked barbie doll figures.

[K-TANG]

thank you for including a wheeler chick with a gun... fantastic!!

[Cloves Rodrigues]

Thanks for the tips, suggestions and compliments

but i concludes that I will redo this samples later

thanks all !!!

[Comics Commando]

Very pro-looking work.


Best,

Kurt Hathaway
Cartoon Balloons Studio

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