Witchblade

rodrigo · 05-22-2012, 06:03 PM

Hello,

Here I am again with a few more pages.

Critics welcome.

Cheers,
Rodrigo Ramos

SuperMonkey · 05-22-2012, 07:16 PM

I like it! Your figures are well-built, and the lines are all nice and strong. The only thing I can think to critique is that the background could be a little less sparse on page one; maybe give the carpet a texture and put a picture on the wall or something... other than that, I love it!

rodrigo · 05-23-2012, 02:48 PM

Thank you SuperMonkey.

Indeed, I think I´ll have to revisit that first page...Thanks.

DanielPicci · 05-23-2012, 07:58 PM

They are nice. I agree with supermonky though. Im not sure if they are 3d model backgrounds or drawn really straight, but they need more life. ie folds on the couch, cracks in the table etc. You want to show more texture!

Some storytelling crits;

Id flip the first panel the opposite direction, leading the readers eye into the second panel (not the third).
On the second page, its not clear whos touching the blood. is it the cop? or the other guy? The colors would probably fix this but if you wanted a little more clarity you could have the appropriate guys hand up in the panel near the face...

Page 3 has unnecessary panel breaks. Also, The guy with the knife busts in looking dangerous, but in panel two you make him look small. Doesnt really look like a threat to the guy holding the gun.

Great work otherwise!

Dan

rodrigo · 06-11-2012, 06:20 AM

Hello Dan,

Thanks very much for the critics mate, Really appreciate them.

05-22-2012, 06:03 PM	#1
rodrigo Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Brazil Posts: 274	Witchblade Hello, Here I am again with a few more pages. Critics welcome. Cheers, Rodrigo Ramos

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05-22-2012, 07:16 PM	#2
SuperMonkey The Killah Chinchillah Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Insert pithy witticism here Posts: 2,782	I like it! Your figures are well-built, and the lines are all nice and strong. The only thing I can think to critique is that the background could be a little less sparse on page one; maybe give the carpet a texture and put a picture on the wall or something... other than that, I love it!

05-23-2012, 02:48 PM	#3
rodrigo Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Brazil Posts: 274	Thank you SuperMonkey. Indeed, I think I´ll have to revisit that first page...Thanks.

05-23-2012, 07:58 PM	#4
DanielPicci Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 286	They are nice. I agree with supermonky though. Im not sure if they are 3d model backgrounds or drawn really straight, but they need more life. ie folds on the couch, cracks in the table etc. You want to show more texture! Some storytelling crits; Id flip the first panel the opposite direction, leading the readers eye into the second panel (not the third). On the second page, its not clear whos touching the blood. is it the cop? or the other guy? The colors would probably fix this but if you wanted a little more clarity you could have the appropriate guys hand up in the panel near the face... Page 3 has unnecessary panel breaks. Also, The guy with the knife busts in looking dangerous, but in panel two you make him look small. Doesnt really look like a threat to the guy holding the gun. Great work otherwise! Dan

06-11-2012, 06:20 AM	#5
rodrigo Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Brazil Posts: 274	Hello Dan, Thanks very much for the critics mate, Really appreciate them.