|04-20-2012, 10:21 PM||#1|
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
6 Gemini Storm pages
I can't seem to get the images to show here. Hmmm....I've posted links to them.
Here are the latest pages I have done from mine and writer David Herbert's story Gemini Storm
Panel One: We’re now in Elizabeth’s new bedroom. It’s about the same size as Julia’s. There’s a canopy bed against the wall and on the other side is a couch facing a flat screen TV hanging on the wall. Behind the couch are two doors, one to a walk in wardrobe and the other to a private bathroom. Elizabeth is walking in.
Caption: Well that’s me done for the day.
Panel Two: She picks up a remote off of the couch.
Caption: They want me for anything else they can go to hell.
Panel Three: The TV bursts to life, airing the news.
TV: --Continuing disturbing reports from within the sealed off Junessa.
Panel Four: Elizabeth heads for the wardrobe, stripping off as she goes.
TV: While it seemed that all contact within the quarantined city had been ceased since a frantic radio broadcast six years ago, this station received footage of a commotion at the barricade.
Panel Five: Focus on the TV, showing one of the guards at the military line surrounded by soldiers as he waves a tape around.
TV: A man was apprehended trying to leave Junessa with a video tape featuring unknown contents.
Panel One: Elizabeth comes out of the wardrobe in a t-shirt and socks, heading for the couch.
Caption: The footage of the battle last month. At least we finally know what happened to it.
Panel Two: Elizabeth flops down on the couch.
Caption: He should have known. The army has to keep it hushed or they’ll start a panic.
Panel Three: She watches TV lazily.
Caption: And we don’t have internet access so we can’t get it out ourselves.
Panel Four: Close up on Julia’s hand opening the door, but we can’t see it’s her.
Panel One: Julia enters.
Julia: Hi Lizzy. How’re you doing?
Panel Two: Elizabeth looks at her with disinterest as Julia closes the door.
Panel Three: Julia approaches Elizabeth nervously. She’s realised that the only reason Elizabeth was around her was because she was paid and now that it’s no longer her job, Elizabeth has no real obligation to have anything to do with Julia.
Julia: Um, we haven’t seen each other in a while.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I’ve been keeping busy.
Panel Four: Elizabeth holds up a hand in the stop gesture.
Julia: Well I was wondering-
Elizabeth: I’m not taking you out. Never should have in the first place.
Panel Five: Julia bites her lip, trying to get the words out.
Julia: No. I just... wanted to watch TV... with you.
Panel Six: Elizabeth stares at Julia, looking like she’ll say no to the request.
Panel One: Elizabeth moves over to make room.
Julia: Thank you.
Panel Two: Elizabeth flips channels as Julia sits.
Elizabeth: Not much on though.
Julia: That’s okay.
Panel Three: Julia is smiling now.
Caption: She misses her ‘big sister.’
Caption: Or does she just miss bossing me around?
Panel Four: She doesn’t notice Elizabeth staring at her.
Caption: You should go for it. She’ll probably say yes.
Panel Five: Elizabeth looks away suddenly, eyes wide.
Elizabeth: (Small, whispered) What the hell is happening to me?
Panel One: We’re now at the Junessa fence inside a tent. The guard from the TV is sitting in a chair, arms tied behind it. He has a couple of bruises from resisting. There’s another chair in the corner.
Panel Two: The General from issue three enters the tent. He’s holding the tape.
General: Admittedly I’m impressed.
Panel Three: The guard looks up at the general.
General: The only other time we had someone get over the fence was about eighteen months ago and he was going in.
Panel Four: The guard sneers at the general.
Guard: If you’re going to kill me, just shut the hell up and do it.
Panel Five: The general brings over the other chair so he can sit across from the guard.
General: Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not worth a bullet.
Panel Six: The general sits down.
Guard: So what? Guantanamo?
General: No, that’ll probably get shut down after the election.
Panel One: The general continues his small talk but the guard isn’t buying it.
General: So who do you like? I’m going for McCain. Always go for the vet if there is one.
Guard: I don’t even know who’s running.
Panel Two: The general waves the tape.
General: Right. So what’s Hamilton’s game with this tape?
Guard: We got word of an attack. I was assigned to tape it.
Panel Three: The General snarls.
General: And did he really think I’d come and save him?
Panel Four: The guard’s face drops as he listens to the general.
General: I only have a thousand men, two tanks and a dozen jeeps. My superiors won’t send anything else and if I sacrifice what I have, that gives those creatures a chance to get past the fence and into the country.
Panel Five: The general gets up.
General: You can go back in to give Hamilton my message. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter what he does, I cannot help him without risking national security.
Check out more here: http://indyplanet.com/store/advanced...h91kpeifo7pvq1
Last edited by hdub7; 04-21-2012 at 01:23 PM.
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|04-24-2012, 04:10 AM||#3|
Join Date: Dec 2004
I didn't read the script, but the storytelling seems pretty clear which is a great start. Your art has a general lack of convincing details. Your anatomy is generalized far too much, as is the folds in the clothing and even the furniture in the background --you've got everything pretty much in the right place, but there's not enough details to sell the work. Reference EVERYTHING! It can't be hard to find a girl pulling her top off on the internet (panel 4, page 1). And those speakers for the TV look like something out of the 70's, not 2012. Do your research and find an ultra modern system to use as reference. Find reference for how women look when they're casually walking --take pictures if you can't find anything on the web. Reference faces and hands. Reference clothing and pick out neat little details that look cool.
It's the details that really make good work into stellar work.
Keep up the effort!
|04-24-2012, 06:18 PM||#4|
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NYC, manhattan
I agree with carynord. Also work on gesture drawings more t loosen up. You have a good understanding of construction already.