Activity #43 (First lettering attempt)

Brianna · 02-14-2012, 11:48 PM

I figured I better bite the bullet and post something here sooner rather than later. It doesn't look totally right to me, but let me know if I'm on the right track. (edit: see my second attempt a few posts down)

lordmagnusen · 02-15-2012, 05:45 AM

At a first glance, I can see a couple of details I'll point out later when I'm at the office, but it does look pretty good overall. Welcome to the boards, Brianna!

lordmagnusen · 02-15-2012, 07:38 AM

Allow me to give you a small critique; from the point of view of a very new letterer (I've been doing this for little over a year). As I said in my previous post, though, you're on the right track.

Panel 1: I would have put all of her dialogue in one balloon, outside of the panel; because this way, the first thing one might read is her balloon in panel two. Then, the balloon where it says "That's the difference" is kind of tight, no space for the longest sentence to breathe. And lastly, the tail is a bit ambiguous, it's obvious it's the woman talking since she says "Tomas", but the tail is kind of hovering over his head too...

Panel 2: I'd avoid covering any of her head. Perhaps the balloons could be a tad narrower, even if it covers a bit of the swing set... we can see the rest of it, and it would help you avoiding covering even the tiniest bit of her head.

Panel 5: As a personal choice, I would have made a shorter tail pointing at the back of her head, instead of a longer one to her neck. But that's a personal choice. Same thing for the caption box, I would have put it straddling the lower panel border, to better lead into the next dialogue, and lowered the "Good night..." in panel six an inch lower.

Panel 6: As mentioned above, I woudl have lowered her dialogue a bit furhter down. And the caption box, I would have placed it closer to the page bottom, to help with what some letterers call "the lead in" to the next page" (not like people don't know to turn to next page, but it helps flow).

All in all, I think you did have a great start, but I'll let the more experienced guys around chime in.

HdE · 02-15-2012, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lordmagnusen

Panel 1: I would have put all of her dialogue in one balloon, outside of the panel; because this way, the first thing one might read is her balloon in panel two.

I'd personally contend that the reading order in panel one isn't an issue. Remember that readers generally read from top to bottom, and from top left to bottom right. It's easy for a letterer to let their technical knowledge of the craft cloud this little bit of common design sense.

(Not a dig at you, Magnuson - I know how easy it is to get tied in knots with this stuff)

All I would offer, though, is that the first balloon could sit a little more to the left, while the smaller one underneath needs to come off the chain. There's plenty of space there to do that without causing any tangent conflicts.

Jeff LeBlanc · 02-15-2012, 12:41 PM

A decent first effort. Some quick criticisms:

Way too much leading (space between lines of text) -- this needs to be tightened up.
Way too much white space in most of the balloons, and way too little in the others.
Watch out for tangents -- places where the balloon edge or tail kisses right up against a line in the artwork, like on the swing set in panel two (there are many more).
Not crazy about the perfectly vertical balloon joiner in panel one.

Brianna · 02-16-2012, 01:25 AM

Thanks everyone! Maybe this one is a little better. I'm not sure if I really did any better with avoiding tangents. Sidenote, I had no idea I was covering that guy's entire hand in panel 4.

lordmagnusen · 02-16-2012, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HdE

I'd personally contend that the reading order in panel one isn't an issue. Remember that readers generally read from top to bottom, and from top left to bottom right. It's easy for a letterer to let their technical knowledge of the craft cloud this little bit of common design sense.

(Not a dig at you, Magnuson - I know how easy it is to get tied in knots with this stuff)

I won't take it personally, don't worry. But you're actually supporting my view in what you say... readers read top to bottom first, and might read the text that is highest in the page, particularly when there's such a difference.

I'm not saying the page doesn't work that way, just what I would do to ensure that all readers got the flow without an issue.

Clem Robins · 02-16-2012, 10:14 AM

pointers and connecting pointers should appear to emanate from the center of the balloon, not from the periphery.

try for more or less the same amount of white space on the sides as on the top and bottom. this is more a matter of feeling it than actually measuring it.

a lot of white space on all sides, plus smaller type, equals muttering or whispering. since this is an important sensation to make clear to your reader, having a consistent amount of white space surrounding regular text is pretty crucial.

try for a consistent shape to your text. can be an oval shape or square shape or whatever you like, but try to make all of your copystacking follow the same format. this isn't always possible, especially when the last or first word in a balloon is a long word, and especially when that word is bold. bold words tend to be much longer.

naturally, oval shaped text calls for an oval shaped balloon, and square shaped text calls for a squared off balloon. are you using template balloons here? it looks like you are. so i suggest that you stack a few dozen blocks of copy in a way that pleases you. then make template balloons that will fit these blocks of copy.

Brianna · 02-16-2012, 03:07 PM

Thank you Clem! I didn't use template balloons; I just don't know what I'm doing. I'll try to keep all of that in mind next time.

Brianna · 02-28-2012, 05:20 PM

I gave it another stab. No sense working on any other activities if I can't get this one right - probably continue redoing this one until someone tells me it's right (or until people start ignoring this thread)

I think / hope the balloons are improved.

lordmagnusen · 02-28-2012, 07:44 PM

It looks better. Some thoughts:

1) Panel 1, the join is a bit too wavy. Curve is okay, but not too much.

2) Panel 2, watch out for tangents; see how the tail for the woman's balloon is running almost together with the swings.

3) Panel 3, I know space is tight there, but that balloon is too close to the guy's face.

4) Panel 4, the tail falls short, and points nowhere. Try extending it a bit so it points to the guy's body.

5) Panel 5, I think her balloon should be under her, the way it is, I tend to go to it after panel 3.

6) Panel 6, the tail should come out of the end of the balloon nearest her, to better point at her instead of just at empty space.

Overall, it looks better than your first try, and I'm sure one of the pros will have better advice than mine.

Brianna · 02-28-2012, 08:05 PM

Aw, crap. I see what you mean on all counts. Thanks!

I struggle with the pen tool and my tails/joins suffer for it.

lordmagnusen · 02-28-2012, 08:55 PM

It's just a matter of practice. Darkseid knows I still need a lot of practice! But it's not the shape of your tails, but your choice of placement what I think needs some tweaking. So keep at it.

Maybe letter some other pages, so you're not stuck on this one.

02-14-2012, 11:48 PM	#1
Brianna Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 16	Activity #43 (First lettering attempt) I figured I better bite the bullet and post something here sooner rather than later. It doesn't look totally right to me, but let me know if I'm on the right track. (edit: see my second attempt a few posts down) Last edited by Brianna; 02-16-2012 at 01:26 AM.

02-16-2012, 01:25 AM	#6
Brianna Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 16	Thanks everyone! Maybe this one is a little better. I'm not sure if I really did any better with avoiding tangents. Sidenote, I had no idea I was covering that guy's entire hand in panel 4. Last edited by Brianna; 02-16-2012 at 02:51 AM. Reason: typo on the page

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02-15-2012, 05:45 AM	#2
lordmagnusen Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 214	At a first glance, I can see a couple of details I'll point out later when I'm at the office, but it does look pretty good overall. Welcome to the boards, Brianna!

02-15-2012, 07:38 AM	#3
lordmagnusen Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 214	Allow me to give you a small critique; from the point of view of a very new letterer (I've been doing this for little over a year). As I said in my previous post, though, you're on the right track. Panel 1: I would have put all of her dialogue in one balloon, outside of the panel; because this way, the first thing one might read is her balloon in panel two. Then, the balloon where it says "That's the difference" is kind of tight, no space for the longest sentence to breathe. And lastly, the tail is a bit ambiguous, it's obvious it's the woman talking since she says "Tomas", but the tail is kind of hovering over his head too... Panel 2: I'd avoid covering any of her head. Perhaps the balloons could be a tad narrower, even if it covers a bit of the swing set... we can see the rest of it, and it would help you avoiding covering even the tiniest bit of her head. Panel 5: As a personal choice, I would have made a shorter tail pointing at the back of her head, instead of a longer one to her neck. But that's a personal choice. Same thing for the caption box, I would have put it straddling the lower panel border, to better lead into the next dialogue, and lowered the "Good night..." in panel six an inch lower. Panel 6: As mentioned above, I woudl have lowered her dialogue a bit furhter down. And the caption box, I would have placed it closer to the page bottom, to help with what some letterers call "the lead in" to the next page" (not like people don't know to turn to next page, but it helps flow). All in all, I think you did have a great start, but I'll let the more experienced guys around chime in.

02-15-2012, 12:41 PM	#5
Jeff LeBlanc Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Montreal Posts: 86	A decent first effort. Some quick criticisms: Way too much leading (space between lines of text) -- this needs to be tightened up. Way too much white space in most of the balloons, and way too little in the others. Watch out for tangents -- places where the balloon edge or tail kisses right up against a line in the artwork, like on the swing set in panel two (there are many more). Not crazy about the perfectly vertical balloon joiner in panel one.

02-16-2012, 10:14 AM	#8
Clem Robins Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 916	pointers and connecting pointers should appear to emanate from the center of the balloon, not from the periphery. try for more or less the same amount of white space on the sides as on the top and bottom. this is more a matter of feeling it than actually measuring it. a lot of white space on all sides, plus smaller type, equals muttering or whispering. since this is an important sensation to make clear to your reader, having a consistent amount of white space surrounding regular text is pretty crucial. try for a consistent shape to your text. can be an oval shape or square shape or whatever you like, but try to make all of your copystacking follow the same format. this isn't always possible, especially when the last or first word in a balloon is a long word, and especially when that word is bold. bold words tend to be much longer. naturally, oval shaped text calls for an oval shaped balloon, and square shaped text calls for a squared off balloon. are you using template balloons here? it looks like you are. so i suggest that you stack a few dozen blocks of copy in a way that pleases you. then make template balloons that will fit these blocks of copy.

02-16-2012, 03:07 PM	#9
Brianna Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 16	Thank you Clem! I didn't use template balloons; I just don't know what I'm doing. I'll try to keep all of that in mind next time.

02-28-2012, 05:20 PM	#10
Brianna Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 16	I gave it another stab. No sense working on any other activities if I can't get this one right - probably continue redoing this one until someone tells me it's right (or until people start ignoring this thread) I think / hope the balloons are improved.

02-28-2012, 07:44 PM	#11
lordmagnusen Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 214	It looks better. Some thoughts: 1) Panel 1, the join is a bit too wavy. Curve is okay, but not too much. 2) Panel 2, watch out for tangents; see how the tail for the woman's balloon is running almost together with the swings. 3) Panel 3, I know space is tight there, but that balloon is too close to the guy's face. 4) Panel 4, the tail falls short, and points nowhere. Try extending it a bit so it points to the guy's body. 5) Panel 5, I think her balloon should be under her, the way it is, I tend to go to it after panel 3. 6) Panel 6, the tail should come out of the end of the balloon nearest her, to better point at her instead of just at empty space. Overall, it looks better than your first try, and I'm sure one of the pros will have better advice than mine.

02-28-2012, 08:05 PM	#12
Brianna Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 16	Aw, crap. I see what you mean on all counts. Thanks! I struggle with the pen tool and my tails/joins suffer for it.

02-28-2012, 08:55 PM	#13
lordmagnusen Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 214	It's just a matter of practice. Darkseid knows I still need a lot of practice! But it's not the shape of your tails, but your choice of placement what I think needs some tweaking. So keep at it. Maybe letter some other pages, so you're not stuck on this one.