Batman

Jon Malin · 07-17-2006, 11:02 AM

Hey everyone, these pages below are what I'll be dropping off into DC's talent search box at Chicago. Please feel free to let me know what you think as I'm more than happy to tweak things if needed up to the convention.

Gotta make these pages count so shoot!

The Anti-crest · 07-17-2006, 11:07 AM

looks good man. I love the way you did joker.

RAMolinelli · 07-17-2006, 11:10 AM

Hey Jon these look great! Only panel I don't like is the over head shot of the city on page 1. Its drawn wonderfully, but I think it ruins the flow of the page. Other than that I LOVE your Batman

crozonia · 07-17-2006, 11:20 AM

Fantastic. Couple of crits:
First page: I know what you're trying to do - pan the camera into the action, but panel 6 to 7 is disjointed. Since this is very cinematic, and you are the director, would the camera which is travelling on an angle go almost perfectly perpendicular to the street in panel 7? You could easily fix this in photoshop by rotating panel 7 clockwise a bit untill the transition is a bit more fluid. Then you're cutting to the shot of Joker marching up the stairs.

Perspective for the stairs in page 1 and 2 are wonky. I can tell you're not using a vanishing point for these two layouts, an editor might nail you on that.

Last page, what's going on in the third panel? Batman is supposed to spring from the art sculptures. but the panel is so small. And Joker's expression is way too cropped.

Great rendering and love the way you treated Joker's face on page 2.
Jim

crozonia · 07-17-2006, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RAMolinelli

Hey Jon these look great! Only panel I don't like is the over head shot of the city on page 1. Its drawn wonderfully, but I think it ruins the flow of the page. Other than that I LOVE your Batman

Agreed. That was the point I was trying to make as well...

jtspencils · 07-17-2006, 12:03 PM

I'm liking all the work here, until you get to the last shot of Batman, more precisely, his cape. Look at where you've got it draping over his shoulders, and then below, it's like it's coming from the center of his back. That would really thin it out from point A to B. Should be wider down below there, and flow from there. Also, I'm not feeling the flow of the folds from back there, it's looking more like tendrils or something. Now that may be because it's supposed to be from Joker's warped POV, but if that's so, Bat's should be more "off" as well. Also, Yeah, Joker looks good in page 2, but shouldn't there be some shadow showing on his face with that wide brimed hat?

dano · 07-17-2006, 12:09 PM

you design pretty

Good luck with DC!

Morganza · 07-17-2006, 01:28 PM

Dude, your stuff is getting awesomer!

Fix Jokers hat, the brim looks too straight, is it a fedora?

Put heavier shadows on Batman.

Thats all I got, good luck.

trialsze · 07-17-2006, 02:20 PM

Man, you have some really great things going on here. Your storytelling is really nice. I think your transition to panel to panel is pretty right on. I think your figures are a little to stiff. I know that is a Liefeld thing but I think if you weren't so tight it would appeal to more people. I mean that bird's eye shot on page one is amazing. Hope the pages work out for you.

James M. Smith · 07-17-2006, 04:05 PM

I think this is absolutely beautiful. I agree with the C&C mentioned. Please keep this up!

James Smith

ArtisticBlasts · 07-17-2006, 06:56 PM

Jon,

I always like your works, especially your pencil works. But I don't know why when I look at your inked works (such as what you did on ARCADE Comics), your work somehow changes. Is it because the inker or something? I do like the way you pencil things. Good luck for the DC, man. By the way, do you have web portfolio or something?

Jon Malin · 07-18-2006, 01:41 PM

Hey all,

The main crit I want to address is the flow on page 1. I totally see the bump in flow, great point. I hesitate to change it only because people have been really digging that panel. I'm going to try switching out panel 6 and see how that goes to fix it.

jtspencils- Bat's cape is moving like tendrils because that's how I want my Bat cape to flow. Very Spawnesque.

Articblasts- There is no inker on my Arcade work, my pencils are digitally leveled to appear black, sometimes the result isn't the best as it can get rushed at times. I hope I'm also improving as an artist as well so that may factor in.

You can check out and keep up with me and my stuff at http://www.myspace.com/jonmalin

Thanks guys, you've all been very helpful.

-Jon

Jimmy · 07-18-2006, 06:39 PM

Perspective and depth are the two weak points in this sample. Good luck at the Con.

Wheeljack · 07-18-2006, 10:58 PM

This is great! The joker's dental work has never been better. Your Batman is dead on and looks fantastic. I know of establishing shots but is that one from the outer parameter of our galaxy?!? Might work for a Superman comic but it just makes Batman seem like a sci-fi movie. Instead, just start out in Gotham. Unless Batman is going to fly on a ship to Hal and have to fight Hal's ass to survive. Other than that it's close to perfect.

Bullettime Monk · 07-19-2006, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wheeljack

I know of establishing shots but is that one from the outer parameter of our galaxy?!? Might work for a Superman comic but it just makes Batman seem like a sci-fi movie. Instead, just start out in Gotham. Unless Batman is going to fly on a ship to Hal and have to fight Hal's ass to survive. Other than that it's close to perfect.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Looks good, but it doesn't work for a Batman Comic.

07-17-2006, 11:02 AM	#1
Jon Malin Negative creep and stoned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Okemos, MI Posts: 195	Batman Hey everyone, these pages below are what I'll be dropping off into DC's talent search box at Chicago. Please feel free to let me know what you think as I'm more than happy to tweak things if needed up to the convention. Gotta make these pages count so shoot! __________________ Jon Malin http://www.myspace.com/jonmalin

07-17-2006, 01:28 PM	#8
Morganza CAPTAIN AWESOME!!! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: East Coast, USA Posts: 925	Dude, your stuff is getting awesomer! Fix Jokers hat, the brim looks too straight, is it a fedora? Put heavier shadows on Batman. Thats all I got, good luck. Last edited by Morganza; 07-17-2006 at 03:26 PM.

07-18-2006, 01:41 PM	#12
Jon Malin Negative creep and stoned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Okemos, MI Posts: 195	Hey all, The main crit I want to address is the flow on page 1. I totally see the bump in flow, great point. I hesitate to change it only because people have been really digging that panel. I'm going to try switching out panel 6 and see how that goes to fix it. jtspencils- Bat's cape is moving like tendrils because that's how I want my Bat cape to flow. Very Spawnesque. Articblasts- There is no inker on my Arcade work, my pencils are digitally leveled to appear black, sometimes the result isn't the best as it can get rushed at times. I hope I'm also improving as an artist as well so that may factor in. You can check out and keep up with me and my stuff at http://www.myspace.com/jonmalin Thanks guys, you've all been very helpful. -Jon __________________ Jon Malin http://www.myspace.com/jonmalin

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07-17-2006, 11:07 AM	#2
The Anti-crest Robert Tidwell - JUGGALO Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,554	looks good man. I love the way you did joker.

07-17-2006, 11:10 AM	#3
RAMolinelli Illustrator Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 1,104	Hey Jon these look great! Only panel I don't like is the over head shot of the city on page 1. Its drawn wonderfully, but I think it ruins the flow of the page. Other than that I LOVE your Batman

07-17-2006, 11:20 AM	#4
crozonia Registered User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: TORONTO, Canada Posts: 714	Fantastic. Couple of crits: First page: I know what you're trying to do - pan the camera into the action, but panel 6 to 7 is disjointed. Since this is very cinematic, and you are the director, would the camera which is travelling on an angle go almost perfectly perpendicular to the street in panel 7? You could easily fix this in photoshop by rotating panel 7 clockwise a bit untill the transition is a bit more fluid. Then you're cutting to the shot of Joker marching up the stairs. Perspective for the stairs in page 1 and 2 are wonky. I can tell you're not using a vanishing point for these two layouts, an editor might nail you on that. Last page, what's going on in the third panel? Batman is supposed to spring from the art sculptures. but the panel is so small. And Joker's expression is way too cropped. Great rendering and love the way you treated Joker's face on page 2. Jim

07-17-2006, 12:03 PM	#6
jtspencils Illustrator Join Date: May 2003 Location: A small town in CT, you'll never find it on a map. Posts: 758	I'm liking all the work here, until you get to the last shot of Batman, more precisely, his cape. Look at where you've got it draping over his shoulders, and then below, it's like it's coming from the center of his back. That would really thin it out from point A to B. Should be wider down below there, and flow from there. Also, I'm not feeling the flow of the folds from back there, it's looking more like tendrils or something. Now that may be because it's supposed to be from Joker's warped POV, but if that's so, Bat's should be more "off" as well. Also, Yeah, Joker looks good in page 2, but shouldn't there be some shadow showing on his face with that wide brimed hat?

07-17-2006, 12:09 PM	#7
dano . Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Penna Posts: 923	you design pretty Good luck with DC!

07-17-2006, 02:20 PM	#9
trialsze Registered User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: High Point, nc Posts: 537	Man, you have some really great things going on here. Your storytelling is really nice. I think your transition to panel to panel is pretty right on. I think your figures are a little to stiff. I know that is a Liefeld thing but I think if you weren't so tight it would appeal to more people. I mean that bird's eye shot on page one is amazing. Hope the pages work out for you.

07-17-2006, 04:05 PM	#10
James M. Smith Registered User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pascagoula, MS Posts: 161	I think this is absolutely beautiful. I agree with the C&C mentioned. Please keep this up! James Smith

07-17-2006, 06:56 PM	#11
ArtisticBlasts a Nikki Benz fan :) Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 532	Jon, I always like your works, especially your pencil works. But I don't know why when I look at your inked works (such as what you did on ARCADE Comics), your work somehow changes. Is it because the inker or something? I do like the way you pencil things. Good luck for the DC, man. By the way, do you have web portfolio or something?

07-18-2006, 06:39 PM	#13
Jimmy Artist/Inker Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In a Ink Bottle! Posts: 695	Perspective and depth are the two weak points in this sample. Good luck at the Con.

07-18-2006, 10:58 PM	#14
Wheeljack Registered User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 145	This is great! The joker's dental work has never been better. Your Batman is dead on and looks fantastic. I know of establishing shots but is that one from the outer parameter of our galaxy?!? Might work for a Superman comic but it just makes Batman seem like a sci-fi movie. Instead, just start out in Gotham. Unless Batman is going to fly on a ship to Hal and have to fight Hal's ass to survive. Other than that it's close to perfect.