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Old 06-06-2018, 08:44 PM   #4
infinitekhaos
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Thanks for replying. I come from a short story background so that explains the panel descriptions. Writing too much for a single panel to display is a bad habit that I'm trying to break. Thanks for pointing that out.

As for the monster, my original thought was to not show it because I wanted to leave my audience guessing. But I guess it is kind of dissatisfying for all that build up to amount to nothing. The last thing I want is to disappoint readers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bishop View Post
Welcome to DW! I mostly like your story. I just wish we got a look at the monster at the end, and maybe some explanation as to what they were doing that created it.

My main criticism would be that your panel descriptions are too prose-like and could be confusing for your artist. You want to make sure that you are giving the artist what they need to adequately convey what you need in that panel, and remember that they can't draw more than one action in a single panel.

Examples:



Do you want her to be shown resuming her trek and glancing behind her, to tripping over a body while glancing behind her...?




How do you draw the feeling of a monster approaching?



What does the artist draw? Her slamming the door? Her flying off her feet?

One thought, to add a storytelling twist, would be to move pages one and two to the end. So, start with the horror and end with the beginning "...What's the worst that could happen"
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