Thread: Updated Samples
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Old 04-20-2006, 02:38 PM   #7
augiedb
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Join Date: Aug 2002
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Couple of quick thoughts to nit-pick, though I think the quality is generally good:

Page 1, Panel 2: There's some spacing issues in that balloon with the way "alien overlord" is written. Did you increase the font size for those two words, or just bold-face it? It causes a lot of ugly white space between that line and the one above it. (That's leading, right?)

Page 1, Panel 3: Balloon too close to the top border. Either butt it up against it, or move it down a little.

Page 1, Panel 4: The second or third balloon (not sure of the reading order -- problem one): nice job hiding it behind the character's arm, but the left side of the balloon is touching the foreground character's fingers. That's a no-no.

Page 2, Panel 1: You have a balloon with a tangent to the panel border. Just erase the line and let it be an open panel border, like you did in later panels on the same page.

Page 2, Panel 3: Hmmm, I don't have any reference material in front of me to look this up, but: In the balloon that's butted up against the left panel, I wonder if it wouldn't look better to left justify the text.

Page 3, Panel 1: The balloon looks really cramped in that location, when there's all that white space above and to the right. . I think I see where you're trying to go on this one to preserve the reading flow of the reader's eye, but I think it would work just as well with the balloon over to the right, even if it winds up overlapping the next panel.

Page 3, Panel 2: The sound effect disappears completely for me. Is the page going to be in color? Maybe that will save it.

Page 3, Panel 3: With the way the balloon is placed in the first panel, the eye tends to skip panel 2 completely now.

I like what you're doing with putting the sound effect in the background. Looks nice to have all the action in front of it. The problem is that the effect becomes illegible. I don't know what it's saying. "KIRENCH"? While I recognize that sound effects are more often FELT than READ, I think this one is a little confusing. Maybe using the outline of the characters and placing it all on top of the art might work better? I'm not completely sure.

-Augie
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