Originally Posted by ArminOzdic
Idea here,was actually to make it look like the old man punching the biker guy(but we never see him actual punching him)but when we see page 3,it should be obvious that it was the Wolverine whos punching the guy. And those are just focus lines to make our eye focus on his fist and onto the next panel. Purpose here was to show how proud and bold old vet is.
Seems like I didnt do my job that well.
If that was the objective, then unfortunately, for me at least, that's not the impression that I was left with. I thought that Wolverine was stepping up to the plate, AFTER the old man knocked the biker through the window. I just figured that Wolverine didn't want the old guy to get the crap beat out of him, after the old guy's fist (and temper) got ahead of his rational thinking.
From the perspective of being but one page out of many in a single comic book issue, I think that the old man punching the biker (I'm assuming that he is a biker, via the visual message that his clothing sends to me) through the window yields a much stronger impact than if Wolverine is the one who punched him through that window. Why? Because, now you have a secondary character of interest.
I'm more interested in the old man who is still wearing those medals of his, after what has probably been many years since becoming the recipient of them. Whoa! This old guy's got gumption, even at that age. Everyone expects this sort of result, if Wolverine is the one getting all of the credit for the punch. But, why waste such an impactful scene, just to toot Wolverine's horn? Hell, he can toot his own horn in the pages that follow.
Give the old guy a glory moment - or have him tell Wolverine, with his hand on Wolverine's shoulder (pushing Wolverine back), or by grabbing Wolverine's arm (as if to pull Wolverine behind him), "I got this."
Bam! Instant hero. Instant character that everyone can relate to.
For Wolverine, the same punch is far less impressive. The guy got back up, after all.
Scrolling back and looking at the panels, again, I see now that Wolverine's fist has what may be a few specks of blood on it, from punching the guy. That certainly wasn't obvious to me, the first few times around that I viewed this image in the span of time between now and when you first posted it.
From my perspective as the reader, I'm already rooting for the old guy. Now, you're going to go and spoil that for me? You're deflating what is, in essence, a heroic moment. You have introduced a character, crafted a visual impression (albeit, granted, one different from what was perhaps initially intended) that has caught my eye, and then destroy it (with your explanation).
I envision all Hell about to break loose. The bartender looks like he is having an "uh-oh moment." The old guy has about fifty years of frustration that he wants to unleash on somebody, and this young whipper snapper just volunteered.
Unless you give us something that we expect, which is Wolverine being his usual, typical self, and proceeding to clean house, then this story has some REAL potential.
The old guy has impressed me. Why not let him impress even Wolverine?
Or, have Wolverine ensure that it remains a "fair fight," aka one-on-one.
Or, let them beat the old guy to a pulp, which serves as the actual trigger to Wolverine's berserker moment that follows.
This old guy is part of "The Greatest Generation," as they like to tout themselves. Let your readership see that it's still the case - at least, for this one guy, anyway. This one guy can embody the best of that generation.
If you let the old guy have his five minutes of fame, and let him whip their asses all over the bar, you can leave Wolverine still sitting at the bar, not missing even so much as a sip of his beer.
Under your scenario, anticipation just took a nose dive. For me, anyway.
You've got some good panels, here. Some solid panels (some more so than others). I don't know about the twist on that biker's arm, as he goes crashing through the window, but that panel features the shards of glass and the biker's head that break the visual barrier of the panel's edge. Just a nice visual touch, to have panels where occasionally the action bursts outside the panel that contains the scene. Those moments are crescendos of action, and a lot of comic books featuring super heroes miss them by religiously adhering to the confines of the boxes (the panel's edge).
Joshm's complaint about the lack of a bird's eye view scene can be remedied by removing the last panel, and shifting it to the next page, and in its place, show the old guy facing off against the three bikers, with Wolverine still sitting and drinking his beer. I mean, really?! Wolverine always jumps right up, every time that a fight might be brewing? He isn't even tempted to mumble a few words to his potential adversaries, while not even extending the courtesy of looking at them while he's talking to them, his words all the while embodying threat or taunt or goad?
You don't have to waste the last scene. Just move it.
The other last scene that I described could allow you to show all of the relevant parties in the same room at the same time, and maybe even allow for a visual perspective that allows the reader to appreciate the height advantage that the bikers have over the old man, in addition to the numerical advantage that they possess over him.
Surely, this old geezer must be crazy, to take on the likes of these young thugs.
Well, maybe he is crazy. Maybe he's about to go all bat crazy on them.
Inside this comic book issue that an entire page of panels implies, is a story waiting to be told. Unless you snuff it out in its infancy.
What's the objective? To teach the readers that the elderly are weak and frail and vulnerable? Why would anyone want to buy that?
In all fairness, I confess that Wolverine is not one of my favorite comic book superheroes. Even still, that's no reason to squander this old guy as a character.
That old guy that you're about to piss away has a much better chance of persuading me to buy your comic book than that big name star that you're going to give us more of the same of.
There's much irony in the fact that you intend to sacrifice heroics for the sake of staged drama, and in a comic book, of all places.
Granted, it might just be a single page to practice your sequentials, with no actual thought given toward turning it into an actual comic book. It's Wolverine, after all. You wouldn't be caught dead trying to infringe on Marvel's copyrights and trademarks. Right? Right.
My point is this: In the span of three short pages, you have demonstrated (to me, at least) that you are capable of drawing material that someone will buy. Wolverine is rather beside the point. He just happens to be the big star on call. You just happened to pick him.
That old guy is a true, honest-to-God hero. Not because of any medals, but because of what he's got on the inside.
Sure, he might be outnumbered. Sure, he's probably more than just outgunned. But, all of that is merely setting the stage for the true heroics to play themselves out on before our very eyes.
And you say that the whole point is to make it look like the old man punching the biker guy, but when we see page 3, it should be obvious that it was the Wolverine who's punching the guy?