Thoughts On Recent Page

[Wiz Rollins]

Hi, folks.

Here's a page I just finished lettering and I'm looking for a little feedback. This is really the first time I've ever created a title. Is it too blah? I didn't want to clutter or overpower the look of the page with something that was too bulky. Thoughts?

Thanks! :)

http://badshape.net/horse/horse_pg1_FINAL.jpg

[Jason Arthur]

Your placements look good and you did a very nice job of masking on that last panel.

I don't like the thick stroke on the balloons though. Or the straight connector in panel one.

The title and credits blurb is a bit boring too.

All in all a nice job.

-- J

[Wiz Rollins]

Your placements look good and you did a very nice job of masking on that last panel.
Thanks. I try to avoid masking tails when I can, but it seemed to work in that panel.

I don't like the thick stroke on the balloons though.
Hmm. I upped the stroke to 1.3, too much? You think it's better to leave it at 1?

Or the straight connector in panel one.
Do you think puckering the connector inward would be better?

Thanks for all the great feedback, man! :)

[Kep!]

Jason's spot on, this is a nice page...so let's get nitty-gritty.

Stroke: I prefer .75 myself and 1.25 if yelling.

Masking: I HATE masking tails, but for what you had to do, nice work.

Panel 1: I had to re-read this panel after I'd read the whole page before I understood what was going on...as writer to writer, I think I'd clairfy that one a bit. And yeah, I hate that straight tail.

Darts/Pointers/Mouth Arrows (pick a name): They're all thin and straight. Blik! Now, some maight call this a style thing, but most who do can work the pen tool correctly. I'd rather see a bit a curve here.

Keep going, I see a light at the end of that there tunnel...GRAN'MA???

[Wiz Rollins]

Kep, thanks for taking a gander! :happy:

I think I'll tweak this page a bit tonight (after Lost!) and then repost it. I'll try thinning out the balloon stroke and adding some curve to their tails.

[Kep!]

After Lost for sure, let's keep those priorities straight! :)

[Jason Arthur]

Hell yeah! Lost rules my friggin world.

Oh and I too use a .75 stroke for balloons/tails.

-- J

[Wiz Rollins]

After Lost for sure, let's keep those priorities straight! :)
Blah. Last night's ep was kinda disappointing. Just give us ONE friggin' straight answer, JJ!! I don't care which question you answer, just fucking answer!! :man:

Hey... updated the page. I fixed that straight connector, changed the strokes to 0.75, added a drop shadow to the title to push it out more and tweaked the curve on one or two of the tails. I left some of the tails alone. Mostly because I liked the way they looked.

This is a great subforum. Thanks again, guys!