Amtekoth
09-04-2006, 10:13 AM
I've found that almost every strip that I write for Lab Bratz (http://labbratz.comicgenesis.com) goes through several stages. It starts from a memory or random thought that pops into my head, which I write down if I'm quick enough. From that handwritten note, I write a one page script on the computer, usually in one sitting. This can be hours later or years. I email the script to artist Max Velati in Brazil. When the art is done, Max sends it back. Using Photoshop and Illustrator, I letter the strip, save it and post it on my site. But invariably, I rewrite the dialogue. Sometimes it's because there isn't enough room for it all. Sometimes I think of a funnier punchline. Sometimes, I need better "flow".
Example:
IDEA
The most recent episode was based on an event in 1990 or so. The folks from my lab were playing basketball and the Chairman of my department joined us for the first time. He's 6'3" or so and played as a backup for the University of Illinois when he was younger, so he was much better than me. When I went to cover him, he told me, "Hurt me and you're fired." I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but I played "soft" against him and he scored at will.
That memory was converted into the last couple of episodes, with the small Professor Chang joining the Lab Bratz for BBall, even though he'd never played basketball before. Faced with the huge undergrad, Hepp, he has to find a way to win. Because Chang NEVER loses at anything he does, he finds a way.
SCRIPT, as sent
Episode #77
The Boss plays Basketball?
Panel 1
Basketball Court. Professor Chang against Hepp. Chang has the basketball, but Hepp has his hands up, playing defense. There is NO WAY Chang can score.
"Try your best, Professor Chang, you'll never get past my tenacious defense."
Panel 2
With a glint in his eye, Chang lets Hepp know who is the boss.
Chang: "If you touch me, you're fired."
Panel 3
Now Hepp looks unsure of himself. He works for AL, after all.
Hepp Thought Balloon: "He's bluffing...right? He can't fire me for fouling him...can he?"
Panel 4
Hepp bows low, sweeping a long arm towards the basket. Chang is smiling.
Hepp: "Your basket is this way, sir."
Chang: "A wise choice."
Finished STRIP VERSION 1
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b89/Amtekoth/20060904v1.jpg
REVISED STRIP
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b89/Amtekoth/20060904.jpg
You can see the dialogue tweaks between the script and the strip as originally posted last night.
This morning, I realized how unhappy I was with the dialogue, rewrote it and reposted it.
It's still not "perfect", but I think it's a lot better.
Comments?
Ed
Example:
IDEA
The most recent episode was based on an event in 1990 or so. The folks from my lab were playing basketball and the Chairman of my department joined us for the first time. He's 6'3" or so and played as a backup for the University of Illinois when he was younger, so he was much better than me. When I went to cover him, he told me, "Hurt me and you're fired." I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but I played "soft" against him and he scored at will.
That memory was converted into the last couple of episodes, with the small Professor Chang joining the Lab Bratz for BBall, even though he'd never played basketball before. Faced with the huge undergrad, Hepp, he has to find a way to win. Because Chang NEVER loses at anything he does, he finds a way.
SCRIPT, as sent
Episode #77
The Boss plays Basketball?
Panel 1
Basketball Court. Professor Chang against Hepp. Chang has the basketball, but Hepp has his hands up, playing defense. There is NO WAY Chang can score.
"Try your best, Professor Chang, you'll never get past my tenacious defense."
Panel 2
With a glint in his eye, Chang lets Hepp know who is the boss.
Chang: "If you touch me, you're fired."
Panel 3
Now Hepp looks unsure of himself. He works for AL, after all.
Hepp Thought Balloon: "He's bluffing...right? He can't fire me for fouling him...can he?"
Panel 4
Hepp bows low, sweeping a long arm towards the basket. Chang is smiling.
Hepp: "Your basket is this way, sir."
Chang: "A wise choice."
Finished STRIP VERSION 1
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b89/Amtekoth/20060904v1.jpg
REVISED STRIP
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b89/Amtekoth/20060904.jpg
You can see the dialogue tweaks between the script and the strip as originally posted last night.
This morning, I realized how unhappy I was with the dialogue, rewrote it and reposted it.
It's still not "perfect", but I think it's a lot better.
Comments?
Ed