D.C. Lee
08-28-2006, 09:25 PM
I'm needing brutal honesty about these scripts I've done. Lewis Costello allowed me to be creative with his flagship creations. Feel free to let me know what you think.
Concept 1 of “Cyclone & Tornado”
Page 1/5 Panels
Panel 1: Close up of Cyclone’s bruised face as his ever defiant eye stares down his enemy. Behind him is an electrical box with a faded “High Voltage” warning on it.
Cyclone: (it) Time this wrong…and you’re just another smear on his fist.
Optimum: (op) You think you’re hurting now you lowly punk? Well like my daddy always said…cross your Ts…
Panel 2: We see the true nature of Optimum as he prepares to kill Cyclone with one mighty punch. His hand is flaring with the heat of a supernova. Frothing like a rabid dog, this so called hero comes in his killshot.
Optimum: …AND DOT THE EYES!
Sound FX: FWOOSSSHHH!
Panel 3: Meanwhile, Tornado is surrounded by heavily armed guards and just catches sight of the brawl between Optimum and Cyclone. The look of shock on his face is painfully clear as he watches on in horror believing his teammate’s demise is merely seconds away.
Tornado: NO…KID!
Panel 4: Cyclone ducks out of the way just in time as Optimum buries his fist all the way up to his bracer deep into the electrical box. The look on his face is priceless as he realizes seconds before impact that he’s been set up as if he’s mentally kicking himself for being so stupid.
Sound FX: KERRRUNCH!
Panel 5: With his fist trapped within the electrical box, Optimum is lit up like a neon sign in Las Vegas. The reader can see the metallic skeleton underneath his heavyframed body. The look of “pain” on his can be seen through the surge of raw power.
Optimum: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Page 2/4 Panels
Panel 1: The guards and Tornado watch the demise of Optimum with mixed expressions. Tornado couldn’t be any happier for his partner made it through the fight. The guards however are shocked that someone actually beat “The Big Guy”.
Tornado: WAY TO GO KID!
Panel 2: Tornado turns back to what he was dealing with earlier. The look on his face is all business now, even though he does have a slight smirk.
Tornado: Now where were we?
Panel 3: The mighty Tornado opens his mouth and releases an F3, hurling guards everywhere. Cyclone is crouched, looking on as a few guards come up behind him.
Panel 4: With three gunbarrels pressed to the back of his head, Cyclone appears pretty calm.
Sound FX: CH-CHAK!
Guard: Any last words?!
Cyclone: When in doubt…
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Page 3
Splashpage (sort of): Cyclone is in the center of one of his legendary twisters with guards flying everywhere. Debris and trash are taken up within this manmade storm and the look on the kids face is intense. At each corner of the page we see Tornado dealing with guards in various ways. He’s punching one out, dropkicking a couple more, using one as a shield against taserdarts, and finally unleashing another F3 from his mouth.
Cyclone: …SPIN!
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Page 4/6 Panels
Panel 1: There’s a bunch of guards unconscious piled ontop of each other. They’re bruised, some are bloody, but they’re all alive.
Tornado: (op) And that’s the last of them.
Panel 2: Tornado is in the foreground as he turns back to address Cyclone who is walking off towards the charred remains of Optimum.
Tornado: Travis?
Panel 3: Cyclone crouches and examines the non-charred arm of Optimum.
Cyclone: And you thought you were hot stuff too didn’t you Mr. Crispy? He’s got The Factory all over him, clothes, markings and all.
Panel 4: Tornado is coming up behind Cyclone as the kid removes Optimum’s bracer to show the marking on his forearm.
Tornado: I don’t understand. I thought the files said the project was cancelled.
Cyclone: No, Project Alpha was cancelled. This guy however is definitely Project Delta. Right down to his lousy choice of dress.
Tornado: It’s just so eerie…
Panel 5: Tornado looks to the sky in deep thought.
Tornado: Knowing that they actually get away with doing this. I mean, what can we do now?
Cyclone: (op) I don’t know about you Mark…
Panel 6: Cyclone appears cheery as he holds up one of Optimum’s bracers to show Tornado.
Cyclone: But I call dibs.
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Concept 2 of “Cyclone & Tornado”
Page 1/6 Panels
Panel 1: Tornado is strung up by his hands by chain with a heavyduty mouthguard on to neutralize his powers. He looks beaten and pissed.
Superior: (op) Do you know the real difference is between you and me Tornado?
Panel 2: Superior stands before Tornado with his ever cocky grin and pointing to himself as if it weren’t obvious who he was speaking of. He looks like a 1980s business man with his sharkish aura about him. And that Silver Age costume of his couldn’t look any more ridiculous.
Superior: You only think you’re special, and I know I am! That’s why I’m The Superior.
Panel 3: Tornado just looks back at him with an “Are you effing serious?” look in his eye.
Tornado: Mmmhm…
Panel 4: Superior doesn’t like the tone in his voice but wants to see if Tornado will man up.
Superior: What did he say?
Bodyguard 3: (op) I got it.
Panel 5: Superior’s “bodyguard” flips a switch on the mouthguard that is firmly latched onto Tornado’s face.
Sound FX: Click…BWEE!
Mouthguard: Psychic-Communicator-activated.
Panel 6: Superior patronizes Tornado, acting as if he really cares what his hostage has to say. His three “bodyguards” join in the mocking.
Superior: Well?
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Page 2/4 Panels
Panel 1: Tornado stares daggers at the reader as if the reader is looking through Superior’s eyes.
Tornado: And I thought the reason we’re different is because I’m mentally sane…and you’re just mental.
Panel 2: Now the reader is seeing through Tornado’s eyes at the reaction Superior and his bodyguards have towards our hero’s remarks. First the gang is in shock.
Superior and company: Uhhh…
Panel 3: Next, Tornado’s captors force themselves to laugh as if it wasn’t insulting to them at all. It starts off as a slight giggle…
Panel 4: And goes into an over the top fake brouhaha with knee slapping and the whole shebang.
Superior: You…are just too…
-----------------------------------------------------------
Page 3/5 Panels
Panel 1: Superior’s fist collides with Tornado’s forehead. It’s pretty obvious that he is not amused by the hero’s words.
Superior: FUNNY!
Sound FX: THWAK!
Panel 2: Now it’s a staredown between the two as Superior begins showing his frustration and Tornado shows his defiant delight at this.
Tornado: Hate to see how you treat real comedians.
Superior: Laugh it up all you want, it’s only a matter of time before your duplicate takes out Cyclone…
Sound FX: FWOOOSH!
Cyclone: (op) I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
Panel 3: Superior whips around in shock at what he’s seeing. Tornado is, however, quite glad to see his partner.
Superior: WHAT? Impossible! He was identical in every way.
Panel 4: Cyclone drops the unconscious evil twin of Tornado before Superior and company.
Cyclone: Oh…you mean this? Far from it, mine not only cuddles, he purrs.
Panel 5: Close up of Cyclone being playful by throwing a wink towards Tornado.
Cyclone: Isn’t that right “kitty kitty”?
Tornado: (op) Babe, not infront of the enemy.
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Page 4/4 Panels
Panel 1: Cyclone & Tornado are back home now. Tornado is being treated for his injuries. With an ice pack on his head and being served warm cocoa, Tornado enjoys a neckrub from his partner.
Caption: Later, back at the domicile.
Tornado: I can’t believe it took you exactly 24 hours to figure out that that wasn’t me.
Cyclone: Actually it only took 3 hours.
Panel 2: Tornado looks up at Cyclone a little confused.
Tornado: So then, why did it take you so long to come to my rescue?
Cyclone: (op) Well, I had to keep up the illusion that I didn’t know you were missing right?
Panel 3: Tornado is shocked by what he’s hearing. It can’t be true, but he must know for himself.
Tornado: Wait a minute…you didn’t…
Panel 4: Cyclone gives a mischievous smirk as he teases Tornado about what may or may not have happened.
Cyclone: I don’t even let you do that. What makes you think someone else would have the privilege?
Concept 1 of “Cyclone & Tornado”
Page 1/5 Panels
Panel 1: Close up of Cyclone’s bruised face as his ever defiant eye stares down his enemy. Behind him is an electrical box with a faded “High Voltage” warning on it.
Cyclone: (it) Time this wrong…and you’re just another smear on his fist.
Optimum: (op) You think you’re hurting now you lowly punk? Well like my daddy always said…cross your Ts…
Panel 2: We see the true nature of Optimum as he prepares to kill Cyclone with one mighty punch. His hand is flaring with the heat of a supernova. Frothing like a rabid dog, this so called hero comes in his killshot.
Optimum: …AND DOT THE EYES!
Sound FX: FWOOSSSHHH!
Panel 3: Meanwhile, Tornado is surrounded by heavily armed guards and just catches sight of the brawl between Optimum and Cyclone. The look of shock on his face is painfully clear as he watches on in horror believing his teammate’s demise is merely seconds away.
Tornado: NO…KID!
Panel 4: Cyclone ducks out of the way just in time as Optimum buries his fist all the way up to his bracer deep into the electrical box. The look on his face is priceless as he realizes seconds before impact that he’s been set up as if he’s mentally kicking himself for being so stupid.
Sound FX: KERRRUNCH!
Panel 5: With his fist trapped within the electrical box, Optimum is lit up like a neon sign in Las Vegas. The reader can see the metallic skeleton underneath his heavyframed body. The look of “pain” on his can be seen through the surge of raw power.
Optimum: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 2/4 Panels
Panel 1: The guards and Tornado watch the demise of Optimum with mixed expressions. Tornado couldn’t be any happier for his partner made it through the fight. The guards however are shocked that someone actually beat “The Big Guy”.
Tornado: WAY TO GO KID!
Panel 2: Tornado turns back to what he was dealing with earlier. The look on his face is all business now, even though he does have a slight smirk.
Tornado: Now where were we?
Panel 3: The mighty Tornado opens his mouth and releases an F3, hurling guards everywhere. Cyclone is crouched, looking on as a few guards come up behind him.
Panel 4: With three gunbarrels pressed to the back of his head, Cyclone appears pretty calm.
Sound FX: CH-CHAK!
Guard: Any last words?!
Cyclone: When in doubt…
-----------------------------------------------------------
Page 3
Splashpage (sort of): Cyclone is in the center of one of his legendary twisters with guards flying everywhere. Debris and trash are taken up within this manmade storm and the look on the kids face is intense. At each corner of the page we see Tornado dealing with guards in various ways. He’s punching one out, dropkicking a couple more, using one as a shield against taserdarts, and finally unleashing another F3 from his mouth.
Cyclone: …SPIN!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 4/6 Panels
Panel 1: There’s a bunch of guards unconscious piled ontop of each other. They’re bruised, some are bloody, but they’re all alive.
Tornado: (op) And that’s the last of them.
Panel 2: Tornado is in the foreground as he turns back to address Cyclone who is walking off towards the charred remains of Optimum.
Tornado: Travis?
Panel 3: Cyclone crouches and examines the non-charred arm of Optimum.
Cyclone: And you thought you were hot stuff too didn’t you Mr. Crispy? He’s got The Factory all over him, clothes, markings and all.
Panel 4: Tornado is coming up behind Cyclone as the kid removes Optimum’s bracer to show the marking on his forearm.
Tornado: I don’t understand. I thought the files said the project was cancelled.
Cyclone: No, Project Alpha was cancelled. This guy however is definitely Project Delta. Right down to his lousy choice of dress.
Tornado: It’s just so eerie…
Panel 5: Tornado looks to the sky in deep thought.
Tornado: Knowing that they actually get away with doing this. I mean, what can we do now?
Cyclone: (op) I don’t know about you Mark…
Panel 6: Cyclone appears cheery as he holds up one of Optimum’s bracers to show Tornado.
Cyclone: But I call dibs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Concept 2 of “Cyclone & Tornado”
Page 1/6 Panels
Panel 1: Tornado is strung up by his hands by chain with a heavyduty mouthguard on to neutralize his powers. He looks beaten and pissed.
Superior: (op) Do you know the real difference is between you and me Tornado?
Panel 2: Superior stands before Tornado with his ever cocky grin and pointing to himself as if it weren’t obvious who he was speaking of. He looks like a 1980s business man with his sharkish aura about him. And that Silver Age costume of his couldn’t look any more ridiculous.
Superior: You only think you’re special, and I know I am! That’s why I’m The Superior.
Panel 3: Tornado just looks back at him with an “Are you effing serious?” look in his eye.
Tornado: Mmmhm…
Panel 4: Superior doesn’t like the tone in his voice but wants to see if Tornado will man up.
Superior: What did he say?
Bodyguard 3: (op) I got it.
Panel 5: Superior’s “bodyguard” flips a switch on the mouthguard that is firmly latched onto Tornado’s face.
Sound FX: Click…BWEE!
Mouthguard: Psychic-Communicator-activated.
Panel 6: Superior patronizes Tornado, acting as if he really cares what his hostage has to say. His three “bodyguards” join in the mocking.
Superior: Well?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 2/4 Panels
Panel 1: Tornado stares daggers at the reader as if the reader is looking through Superior’s eyes.
Tornado: And I thought the reason we’re different is because I’m mentally sane…and you’re just mental.
Panel 2: Now the reader is seeing through Tornado’s eyes at the reaction Superior and his bodyguards have towards our hero’s remarks. First the gang is in shock.
Superior and company: Uhhh…
Panel 3: Next, Tornado’s captors force themselves to laugh as if it wasn’t insulting to them at all. It starts off as a slight giggle…
Panel 4: And goes into an over the top fake brouhaha with knee slapping and the whole shebang.
Superior: You…are just too…
-----------------------------------------------------------
Page 3/5 Panels
Panel 1: Superior’s fist collides with Tornado’s forehead. It’s pretty obvious that he is not amused by the hero’s words.
Superior: FUNNY!
Sound FX: THWAK!
Panel 2: Now it’s a staredown between the two as Superior begins showing his frustration and Tornado shows his defiant delight at this.
Tornado: Hate to see how you treat real comedians.
Superior: Laugh it up all you want, it’s only a matter of time before your duplicate takes out Cyclone…
Sound FX: FWOOOSH!
Cyclone: (op) I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
Panel 3: Superior whips around in shock at what he’s seeing. Tornado is, however, quite glad to see his partner.
Superior: WHAT? Impossible! He was identical in every way.
Panel 4: Cyclone drops the unconscious evil twin of Tornado before Superior and company.
Cyclone: Oh…you mean this? Far from it, mine not only cuddles, he purrs.
Panel 5: Close up of Cyclone being playful by throwing a wink towards Tornado.
Cyclone: Isn’t that right “kitty kitty”?
Tornado: (op) Babe, not infront of the enemy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 4/4 Panels
Panel 1: Cyclone & Tornado are back home now. Tornado is being treated for his injuries. With an ice pack on his head and being served warm cocoa, Tornado enjoys a neckrub from his partner.
Caption: Later, back at the domicile.
Tornado: I can’t believe it took you exactly 24 hours to figure out that that wasn’t me.
Cyclone: Actually it only took 3 hours.
Panel 2: Tornado looks up at Cyclone a little confused.
Tornado: So then, why did it take you so long to come to my rescue?
Cyclone: (op) Well, I had to keep up the illusion that I didn’t know you were missing right?
Panel 3: Tornado is shocked by what he’s hearing. It can’t be true, but he must know for himself.
Tornado: Wait a minute…you didn’t…
Panel 4: Cyclone gives a mischievous smirk as he teases Tornado about what may or may not have happened.
Cyclone: I don’t even let you do that. What makes you think someone else would have the privilege?