Two problematic panels

[eltonpruitt]

I am having a heck of a time with the last two panels on this page and would love to have any feedback, critiques and suggestions you guys might have to offer.

Being a total novice at this, I am struggling to get the balloons in these two panels placed in a way that it is easy to follow the flow of the dialogue correctly.

The bottom panel, especially, I think just sucks how I have it now but it's so weird the way the characters are situated, trying to figure out where to put the balloons.

Thanks guys for any help!

Elton

http://intelligentzombie.com/images/13-letters.jpg

[Jason Arthur]

Well, here are my suggestions, please don't take any offense to any of them.

http://www.jasonarthur.com/dw/suggestions.jpg

In the last panel mask the tail from the balloon that I marked as "1" behind his head to her mouth and do the same with his balloon behind her head.

Just a suggestion.

best,

-- J

[charlesp]

I'm not so sure that thesecond balloon in panel 3 should have a tail behind the girl's back.

The guy is obviously in front of the girl and putting his tail behind her will cause some major plane issues.

Just my $0.02

Charles

[Jason Arthur]

I'm not so sure that thesecond balloon in panel 3 should have a tail behind the girl's back.

The guy is obviously in front of the girl and putting his tail behind her will cause some major plane issues.

Just my $0.02

Charles

Yeah, that's why I also proposed that it could go along the bottom, which, as you pointed out, would be best in this case.

-- J

[eltonpruitt]

Thanks guys, I appreciate it!

Jason, in case I have never thanked you, THANKS for the Illustrator template. It's been invaluable to me in navigating these murky waters!

[Comics Commando]

This IS a tricky page.

Panel 4 balloons 2 and 4 should each have their own tails. It's too easy to read them in order and skip balloon 3 altogether.

As for final panel, Jason has the right idea, but it will still be tricky.

I'm never a fan of balloon pointers going behind people (maybe an arm or something, but not a whole person), after all, the art's not SOOO important that the story should be muddled.

It's a tricky balance, but the story needs to be clear above all--that means keeping as much art readable as possible--AND making sure the reader knows who's speaking / what's going on, etc. A balloon stretching across the front of someone hardly breaks this rule--especially if all it covers is part of an unimportant robe.

Kurt Hathaway
Cartoon Balloons Studios
Lettering / Logos / Fonts
Khathaway1@socal.rr.com

[Comics Commando]

Another way to fit in balloons is to stretch them along panel borders.

Panel 4, baloon 2 can be stretched along the bottom with two lines instead of four (or whatever it is now).

Same goes for panel 5, balloon 4--it can be placed in 2-3 lines under the band-aid box and hugging the bottom border.


Kurt Hathaway
Cartoon Balloons Studios
Lettering / Logos / Fonts
Khathaway1@socal.rr.com