Moon Knight page- Khoi Pham pencils

[chris Chua]

I just inked a Moon Knight page that my studiomate Khoi pencilled, who's work kicks ass. I don't normally ink other people's work, but I always have fun when I do and khoi's work is especially fun to ink. any comments/crits mucho appreciato! picky pickiness encouraged! I'm always trying to learn and improve. thanks!

http://www.tentonstudios.com/dump/chua/MoonKnight-ChuaINKS2-8-06s.gif

for a lil bigger scanny scan-- BIGGER SCAN (http://www.tentonstudios.com/dump/chua/MoonKnight-ChuaINKS-8-06b.gif)

[newbold]

it's awesome chris. real good job of interpretting those lines. I think you could have made it grittier-spatter and specks - with the car crash. that's kind of a style thing but I really liked the way you did the building and smoke effects

[carynord]

Nice work, man. I like it for the most part but I think you lost a little of Khoi's spontenaity. You got all the lines in but you've lost some of the spirit and energy. His strokes come across as looking very quick and deliberate whereas your version seems labored and a little unsure.

[BW Fan]

Alrighty, you asked for 'pickiness'. Here's some of my observations. Take them as you will from someone not as established and more novice. :)

Panel 1 - I think I might've used a french curve to make MK's cape lines more smooth. Gives it a more 'regal' feel to me. Also, make the three lines on the ends of the capes just slightly thinner. The kinda stick out to me - especially the ones on the right side.

Maybe make the lines on the rear of the vehicle even a little more thicker than on the front end of it. Just to make that appear closer.

Nice job on the crosshatching in the buildings!

Panel 2 - Nice, thick line on the foreground character.

Panel 3 - Maybe a slightly thicker line on the bottom half of the character tapering to a slightly thinner line as you move up has torso. Looks pretty good as is though. Nice job on the smoke.

Panel 4 - I think I'd have stayed with the solid blacks as indicated in the pencils. Not sure the lines are working. They feel as if they're indicating speed and all but it feels disjointed to me.

Panel 5 - Penciler might not dig it based on his style, but I'd have used a feathering on the hair and made it look more solid black with a feathering into the white area/highlight. Also, hindsight is twenty-twenty and all but I might have made an even thicker line on the guy's face and the back of the neck line.

Panel 6 - Again, I probably overdo it but I'd have used a thicker line on the car maybe. Maybe. I'd have stayed the course and made the shadow from the mirror a solid black, too.

Again, you're working for a studio that seems to have big things in the making so take my independent, wannabe inker nitpicks for what they're worth. :happy: Also, remember that these are nitpicks.

Overall, I can see that inking Khoi would be a challenge and you did a good job.

[chris Chua]

dave- thanks, man! yeah, I'd prolly do more of that splattery effect if it was my own work, but I wasn't quite sure what khoi's feelings on that type of stuff so I tried to stay more true to the pencils.

cary- thanks! for the "unsureness" were you talking more about the slight shakiness of some of the lines? I was doing that on purpose, to try and get a certain slightly grit effect. but yeah, I do agree that I prolly did lose some of the spontaneity of khoi's work and labored it a bit...prolly didn't help that I inked this on a 6x9 blue line print out, heh.

bwfan- no, I LOVE crits like yours. hell, be even more picky! I'm always trying to learn and improve! great points, man! I agreed with most of your points. pnl 4, I wanted to try to imply more speed and keep the spotted blacks more on the focus point, but yeah, it is kinda distracting. I do like the shadow on the rear view mirror not all black, I thought that helped imply speed, but that's prolly more a taste thing. I'm going to go back and tweak it a bit and repost it! thanks for taking the time to crit!

[chris Chua]

made some tweaks, hopefully, it's better.

http://www.tentonstudios.com/dump/chua/MoonKnight-ChuaINKS3--8-06.gif

for bigger scan http://www.tentonstudios.com/dump/chua/MoonKnight-ChuaINKS3--8-06b.gif