The Anti-crest
08-13-2006, 04:15 PM
I'm having trouble getting this page to work right, I want to show that the customer is asking a really stupid question like "Where do I buy batteries for this cd player" and have my main charecter Grigoriy answer her, but I dont have enough panels. Heres how I have the story, and as I reread it last night I realized that this page doesnt work because of timeline, it skips to the end of the call right after she asks. Anyway, let me know if you think this page works and how I can adjust it.
Few things to know: Grigoriy is an Ogre who hates his job and his life.
I want to build suspense for the next page which is where he is accused of being a "monster" and a troll. This plays into what the story is about, which is middle eastern people being called terrorists and sometimes even being accused of being from other middle eastern countries. Calling an Armenian an Iraqi, for instance.
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Page 6: Six panels. One is long across the top 1/3 of the page, Three in the middle 1/3 of the page and two at the bottom 1/3 of the page.
Panel One: Here Grigoriy was in a crowded, low class bar surrounded by nobody and nothingness. He looks years older than he did at his wedding and again he looks real sad. His tie from before should be off, but should be visible. I want it to look like this is the same day as the beginning of the story but later that same evening. There is a party in the back, around the bar. Far away from him.
Caption: (bottom right corner of panel)What did happen?
Panel two: Grigoriy is now in an office. He answer phones for a customer service rep so he should have one of those little mic+headphones things the operators wear. The stations around him, if you can tell should be larger than his. If you cant work that detail in yet, its cool. We'll get to it. Hes sitting at the smallest terminal in the company and hes wearing his tie and looks cleaner, and not as disgruntled. He's not having a terrible day yet obviously, though he doesn't seem to really like his job. He's bored and feels useless. His computer also looks like something out of the 80's and the humans around him walk by with out noticing him.
Caption 1(top of panel): Earlier today Grigoriy had been insulted.
Caption 2(bottom of panel):This is nothing new.
Panel three: This panel should focus on his ear piece, very close up sort of abstract looking. You can see his pointed Ogre ear sticking out from behind an ear peice made for human ears.
Customer: Where do I buy batteries for this CD player?
Caption: Once in the department he found himself answering the most obvious questions, and being insulted for it.
Panel Four: This should be the old woman on the other end of the phone. Shes human, and real old. I'm talking 90s or so, and looking it. She's got papers everywhere and junk piled around her. She is half senile and doesn't realize it.
Caption: Now, mind you, these humans weren't in their 70's. Or even their 80's. They got as old as time. They are in their 90's on average, some we're older.
Grigoriy:(from phone)Thank you For Calling SunCrest!
Panel Five: Back to Grigoriy, he is sitting at his desk and his phone is off. He looks fairly relaxed.
No Caption
Panel six: Same angle as panel five, this time the phone is ringing, Grigoriy looks afraid. He's had his half-way decent phone call for the day and knows that anything that follows will be hell.
Caption: This time would be a world of difference from the last call.
Few things to know: Grigoriy is an Ogre who hates his job and his life.
I want to build suspense for the next page which is where he is accused of being a "monster" and a troll. This plays into what the story is about, which is middle eastern people being called terrorists and sometimes even being accused of being from other middle eastern countries. Calling an Armenian an Iraqi, for instance.
----
Page 6: Six panels. One is long across the top 1/3 of the page, Three in the middle 1/3 of the page and two at the bottom 1/3 of the page.
Panel One: Here Grigoriy was in a crowded, low class bar surrounded by nobody and nothingness. He looks years older than he did at his wedding and again he looks real sad. His tie from before should be off, but should be visible. I want it to look like this is the same day as the beginning of the story but later that same evening. There is a party in the back, around the bar. Far away from him.
Caption: (bottom right corner of panel)What did happen?
Panel two: Grigoriy is now in an office. He answer phones for a customer service rep so he should have one of those little mic+headphones things the operators wear. The stations around him, if you can tell should be larger than his. If you cant work that detail in yet, its cool. We'll get to it. Hes sitting at the smallest terminal in the company and hes wearing his tie and looks cleaner, and not as disgruntled. He's not having a terrible day yet obviously, though he doesn't seem to really like his job. He's bored and feels useless. His computer also looks like something out of the 80's and the humans around him walk by with out noticing him.
Caption 1(top of panel): Earlier today Grigoriy had been insulted.
Caption 2(bottom of panel):This is nothing new.
Panel three: This panel should focus on his ear piece, very close up sort of abstract looking. You can see his pointed Ogre ear sticking out from behind an ear peice made for human ears.
Customer: Where do I buy batteries for this CD player?
Caption: Once in the department he found himself answering the most obvious questions, and being insulted for it.
Panel Four: This should be the old woman on the other end of the phone. Shes human, and real old. I'm talking 90s or so, and looking it. She's got papers everywhere and junk piled around her. She is half senile and doesn't realize it.
Caption: Now, mind you, these humans weren't in their 70's. Or even their 80's. They got as old as time. They are in their 90's on average, some we're older.
Grigoriy:(from phone)Thank you For Calling SunCrest!
Panel Five: Back to Grigoriy, he is sitting at his desk and his phone is off. He looks fairly relaxed.
No Caption
Panel six: Same angle as panel five, this time the phone is ringing, Grigoriy looks afraid. He's had his half-way decent phone call for the day and knows that anything that follows will be hell.
Caption: This time would be a world of difference from the last call.