Short story needed

[Calloway]

Anyone have an 8 to 10 pager that I can draw to try and get back into the swing of things? With no deadline attached. If I finish them the writer can use the art where ever. A big IF.

[JonHParrish]

Well, I don't have one, but if I can drum one up for you if you'd like.

[JonHParrish]

Do you have any specific requests or just any short story will do.

[Calloway]

I'll try anything.

[JonHParrish]

Alight. I'll have something for you either by tonight or tomorrow.

This is going to help me stay sharp as well.

[eltonpruitt]

I can send you a six-pager if you'd like. It's a psych/horror piece set in a trailer out in the boonies.

[The Anti-crest]

I've only got a five page story ready to be drawn. You are welcome to it if you like, its posted here as face of judgement, read the second script though if you do, better panel layouts.

[Buckyrig]

I have one where The Hulk goes to a prostitute and she reassures him that "Hulk is the strongest one there is" after he can't get it up. Just let me know... :whistlin:

[Icaruss]

Well, I've got a pretty decent 5-pager. You want it?

[Knuckles]

LGM, I got an eight pager that I did a while back that seems to have come true in the Marvel univere. It's about the government hunting down people with super powers. I'll PM it to you.

[Knuckles]

I guess it is too long for PM, so here it is.

Operation Super
By Matt Palmer

Page 1: (4 panels)

Panel 1: This should be the largest panel on this page. It is a head shot of a bald man. The sun gleams off his head. He appears to be a young white man, mid- twenties. He has a hard stern look on his face. His eyes are sharp and focused like a hawk. His nose is narrow and long similar to a beak, giving his face a bird like quality. He is smoking a cigarette. He is also looking around as if he is waiting for somebody. His name is Dale.

Caption: “Mr. Speaker, Mr. President Pro Tempore, members of Congress, and fellow Americans,--”

Panel 2: A wider view of the last panel. Dale looks at the ground as he kicks a rock. He is standing by the corner of the apartment complex on the sidewalk. He is holding the cigarette by his side. He is wearing a tan trench coat with navy blue shirt and pants that are barely visible with the coat on.

Caption: “--in the normal course of events, presidents come to this chamber to report on the state of the union.”

Panel 3: Medium shot from the apartment. A blond blue-eyed, young farm boy is walking into a high-rise apartment complex. He has on a tight red shirt and blue jeans. Behind him, Dale is flicking a cigarette as he is starting to walk toward the farm boy.

Caption: “Tonight, no such report is needed--”

Panel 4: Medium shot of the farm boy holding the door open for Dale. Dale is reaching out for the door.

Caption: “--it has already been delivered by the American people.”


Page 2: (7 panels)


Panel 1: Medium shot the farm boy and Dale standing in the elevator both looking as the numbers roll by.

Caption: “Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom.”

Panel 2: Close-up of Dale, as he is gripping the handle of the gun.

Caption: “Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution.”

Panel 3: A wider view of the last panel as Dale relaxes his grip on the pistol, looks to the ground and sighs.

Caption: “Whether we bring our enemies to justice—”

Panel 4: Close-up of Dale pulling the gun from hostler.

Caption: “--or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done.”

Panel 5: Wider view of the last panel as Dale shoots the farm boy in the forehead. The farm boy’s head snaps back.

Caption: “On May 16th, enemies of freedom committed an act of war against our country.”

Panel 6: Medium shot from a slightly downward angle of Dale squatting over the farm boy laying in the corner of the elevator. We see the back of Dale. His head is tilted to the side in a quizzical way. There is no blood from the farm boy’s forehead.

Caption: “Americans have known wars, but for the past 136 years they have been wars on foreign soil.”

Panel 7: From the farm boy’s perspective, his hand comes up and starts to choke Dale. Dale has a surprised look on his face.

Caption: “Americans have known the casualties of war, but not at the center of a great city on a peaceful morning.”


Page 3: (6 panels)

Panel 1: Medium shot of the farm boy slamming Dale into the elevator doors that are currently closed. The farm boy is still choking Dale.

Caption: “When night fell, it was a different world. A world where freedom itself was under attack.”

Farm boy: “Who are you?”

Dale: “Homeland Security.”


Panel 2: Large shot of the farm boy holding Dale with one hand by the throat against the elevator doors. Dale is hanging in the air, his feet dangling. The farm boy’s other hand is cocked back in a punching motion. The farm boy looks confused.

Caption: “The evidence we have gathered all points to a collection of loosely affiliated terrorist organizations known as Ubermensch.”

Farm boy: “What do you want with me?”

Dale: “You’re a…a super.”

Farm boy: “But I had nothing to do with that bombing. I was at work.”

Panel 3: Tight shot of the elevator doors opening. As the door opens, the farm boy loses his balance.

Caption: “There are thousands of these supers in more than 60 countries.”

SFX: Ding

Panel 4: Medium shot of Dale kicking the unbalanced farm boy with both feet in the chest.

Caption: “Our war on terror begins with Ubermensch, but it does not end there.”

Panel 5: Close-up of Dale sliding on the floor on his left shoulder.

Caption: “They’re the descendants of all the murderous ideologies of the 20th century.”

Panel 6: Medium shot of Dale quickly throwing two capsules into the elevator before the doors close.

Caption: “They follow in the path of fascism, Nazism, and totalitarianism. Americans are asking, ‘How will we fight and win this war?’”

Panel 6a: Close-up of one capsule, it says cyanide on it.

Page 4: (1 panel)

Panel 1: A large side shot of Dale as he rubs his neck. His trench coat has a tear in it at the shoulder that shows a patch with the United States government insignia. Above the insignia has the words Homeland Security and below has the words Special Forces. Title and credits go on this page.

Caption: “We will direct every resource at our command—every means of diplomacy, every tool of intelligence, every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence, and every necessary weapon of war—to the destruction and to the defeat of the supers network.”


Page 5: (5 panels)

Panel 1: Close-up of Dale putting on a gas mask as the same elevator is opening again.

Caption: “Our response involves far more than instant retaliation and isolated strikes.”

SFX: Ding

Panel 2: Large shot of Dale now in the elevator with the gas mask still on. He is pushing the bright red stop button. There is a faint mist in the elevator from the cyanide.

Caption: “Americans should not expect one battle,--”

Panel 3: Medium shot of Dale squatting by the dead farm boy. The gas mask is still on as he checks for a pulse.

Caption: “--but a lengthy campaign unlike any other we have ever seen.”

Panel 4: Medium shot of Dale still squatting by the body, but he now has a cell phone open talking on it. He is talking through the gas mask.

Caption: “It may include dramatic strikes through the media and covert operations secret--even in success.”

Operator: “Operator.”

Dale: “This is agent 14 reporting that target 395 is a confirmed.”

Panel 5: Medium shot of Dale walking out of the building. The gas mask is gone, but he is still talking on the cell phone to the operator.

Caption: “Fellow citizens, we’ll meet violence with patient justice, assured of the rightness of our cause and confident of the victories to come.”

Operator: “Ok, confirmed at 13:10. Report back to quarters.

Dale: “Also, switch ability from fly to invulnerable on the report.”



Page 6: (5 panels)

Panel 1: Medium shot slightly looking up of Dale outside on the sidewalk walking into a very normal looking office building. Carved into the building above the entrance reads Federal Building.

Caption: “These efforts must be coordinated at the highest level.”

Panel 2: Large wide shot of Dale walking into an office. He is by the entrance of the office in this panel. It is one of those TV show/movie detective offices. It’s an open space with desks aligned in two rows evenly spaced out. The office is pretty empty except for three other men in the office. They all have the same uniform on. The uniform is a navy blue button down shirt and navy blue slacks. They are all crowded around one desk with a TV. The president is on TV giving a speech. Two of the three men are young and white, while the third is a middle aged black man.

President from the TV: “One of the first actions we took to protect America was to ask Congress to pass the USA Human act.”

Panel 3: Medium shot of Dale as he takes off his trench coat. He has on the same uniform as the three men from the last panel. There is an open folder on his desk.

President (O.P.): “This act tore down the legal and bureaucratic wall that kept law enforcement and intelligence authorities from sharing vital information.”

Panel 4: Close-up of the folder on Dale’s desk. The folder has a picture of the farm boy that the bald man just killed. Stamped over the picture is a red stamp that reads SCOUT’S REPORT: ABILITY TO FLY.

President (O.P.): “It will help with the elimination of countless terrorist cells across the United States, as well as the world.”

Panel 5: Same close-up as the last panel. But now Dale has closed the folder. He is lifting a stamp off the folder that reads DECEASED.

President (O.P.): “I’m happy to announce that it passed with a vote of 98 to 1.”


Page 7 (4 panels)


Panel 1: Medium shot of Dale filing the folder in a drawer attached to his desk. Another folder is on his desk that was under the folder he is filing. The front of the folder reads 125; underneath the number it is stamped in red the word SCOUTED. At the bottom of the folder is a blue stamp with the word MISSING. His boss is calling for him off panel.

Boss (O.P.): Dale, can you come to my office for a moment.

Panel 2: Large wide shot of the boss’s office. It, too, looks like a TV show/Movie office. Very plain looking with a desk in the middle of the room. Papers and a small TV sit on the desk. There is an empty chair in front of the desk. Dale is next to the chair with folders in his hand. He is standing at attention, very rigid and strict. A middle aged white man (The Boss) that is balding sits behind the desk. He is leaning back watching the TV. He has his hands resting on top of his head.

Boss: Ha! I love this President. This bill should quadruple our budget.

Panel 3: Medium shot of the boss turning his attention toward Dale. Dale is still standing at attention with the folders in hand. He looks straight at the boss. The boss is still leaning back with his hands on top of his head.

Boss: I think we just became the most powerful agency in the government. Now we will get flooded with recruits from the FBI and CIA--no more back seats to them.
Panel 4: Same as panel 3, but the boss has now leaned forward with his elbows on his desk and is smiling. Dale is rubbing his neck.

Boss: Have a seat. Did you accomplished your mission?

Dale: Yeah, I got lucky. He was an invulnerable, though. Almost ripped out my larynx.

Dale: Uh…Boss I think the FBI has some bad information. I don’t think he had anything to do with the terrorist…

Boss: I don’t care, Dale. I have a job to do--just give me the progress reports.

Page 8: (4 panels)

Panel 1: Medium shot of Dale taking a seat in front of the desk. The boss is leaning back in his chair in a relaxed position listening to Dale.

Dale: Uhm…ok, we have been able to eliminate most of the supers on…

Boss: That where hostile.

Dale: Yeah, the “hostile” ones on the FBI’s list.

Panel 2: Medium shot of the boss again leaning forward with a concerned/worried look on his face. Dale is seated and has a stern look on his face.

Boss: Look, Dale these supers are a threat to our way of life. Not just the terrorists, but all of them. You don’t want us to become another animal on the endangered species list.

Boss: One of the supers on that list is your brother, right?

Dale: My younger brother.

Panel 3: Close-up of the two people in this panel. The boss is in the same position as the last panel. Dale is pleading with him.

Dale: If you just let me talk to him, I can clear this whole mess up.

Boss: Listen, Dale, you know I can’t let you do that. I’m sorry, but this is the way it is—I can’t help you anymore.

Panel 4: Large shot of the boss back in his reclining position. Dale is lowering his head in a saddened position.

Dale: I…I just can’t believe he would be a part of this.

[JonHParrish]

Why you gotta upstage me huh ?

Just kidding. Cool story. Really good.

[Knuckles]

Why you gotta upstage me huh ?

Just kidding. Cool story. Really good.

It was already written and entered into a contest about 6 months ago, which I lost.


Thanks! :har:

[Calloway]

Wow, maybe I shoulda worded this for less responses...Not sure which I'll do. Just for practice mind you.

[Knuckles]

Wow, maybe I shoulda worded this for less responses...Not sure which I'll do. Just for practice mind you.


That's cool. The story is doing nothing but sitting here on my computer. Have fun with it.

[The Anti-crest]

That's cool. The story is doing nothing but sitting here on my computer. Have fun with it.

Basically the same with mine. I've posted it on myspace and offered it to anybody who wants it. I figure itll be a chance to draw some stuff you wouldn't normally draw.