The Job (Just Something Different) Contains some strong language

[JonHParrish]

A story about two men on a mission. There is some strong language and it is pretty strong, but it isn't lude or pornographic. I hope you enjoy it. Hopefully, it will have a cartoonish feel to it. If it does that was what I was going for. C&C greatly appreciated.

The Job: Life After The Table

[Page 1][5 Panels]

Panel 1: An establishing shot of a skyscraper. It has a pyramid at the top.

CAP(JIM): If I could figure when things changed forever, I’d have to go all the way back to the beginning, back to that one job, if you could even call it that.....

VOICE: Gentlemen.....

Panel 2: A medium shot of REX LANSING, a middle aged man with slick black hair, a thin mustache and a white suit, sitting behind a desk with his hands in front of his face. In the background there is a large window, as if they were in an office in a skyscraper. The sun is rising and the sky should be a mix of orange and purple.

CAP(JIM): REX LANSING, a multi-millionaire. I still don’t know what he did, but he was loaded..

REX: I’m glad you two took up my offer for a job.

CAP(JIM): In our line of work, you meet various types of people. Some are dangerous and some are just assholes, but usually those are the ones that we hunt down.

CAP(JIM): But this guy was in a league of his own.

VOICE(op): Well, it was kind of hard not to considering...

Panel 3: A two shot of JIM PARKER and KARL LATTIMER. JIM, a black man in his early twenties is dressed in a blue hooded jacket with a black shirt underneath. KARL, a young white man same age as JIM with short brown spiky hair, is dressed in a black shirt with a pentagram on it covered by a black jacket with blue jeans. Both of them have guns pointed to their heads.

JIM: Considering the fact that you had us abducted and held at gunpoint.

KARL: Well, I was going to put it in a nicer way, but....

Panel 4: A side shot of REX standing up facing the window.

REX: My apologies, but I had to do what was necessary. Desperate men will do desperate things.

JIM(op): No shit. I’ve got a gun to my head. I couldn’t turn you down even if I wanted to.

Panel 5: A side shot of KARL looking up in shock.

REX: I have a man I need you two to track......

[Page 2][8 Panels]

Panel 1: An establishing shot of a dark country road.

CAP(REX): You’ll find that he’s right up your alley.

JIM: I can’t believe this.

KARL: We need the money and he’s going to give us more cash then we’ll know what to do with.

Panel 2: A two shot of JIM and KARL. KARL is behind the wheel and JIM turned towards him.

JIM: But we don’t have shit to go on. No name, description, nothing. All he said was that he was extremely dangerous and right up our alley.

KARL: So ?

Panel 3: A side shot of JIM shrugging his shoulders. KARL is in the background making a disturbed face.

JIM: This guy could be anyone. He could be some lame satan worshipping goth or a trannie that shoots fire balls out his ass. We have no fucking clue.

KARL: You think about this stuff way to much.

Panel 4: A two shot of them from outside the windsheild wipers are showing.

JIM: Sometimes you have to expect the unexpected.

Panel 5: Angle same as last panel. A bloody corpse has crashed onto the hood of the car.

JIM: What the fuck ?!

KARL: Jesus !

Panel 6: A shot of their car sliding out of control.

Panel 7: A shot of the car slamming into a tree.

Panel 8: A two shot of JIM and KARL. JIM has blood on his face and KARL is unconscious.

JIM: Ow.

[Page 3][4Panels]

Panel 1: A two shot of KARL and JIM waking up.

JIM: Oh my fuckin’ head.

KARL: Where are we ?

VOICE(op): Rise and shine !

Panel 2: A downward two shot of KARL and JIM looking up toward the reader in shock.

BOTH: What the hell ?

Panel 3: An upward shot of a creature with a goats head and a man’s body.

GOATMAN: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is....

Panel 4: A side shot of JIM looking up slightly annoyed. KARL is shrugging.

JIM: A goatman ?! We got ambushed by a fucking goatman ?!

KARL: It would seem that way.

JIM(2): Shit.

[Page 4][7 Panels]

Panel 1: A bust shot of the Goatman. He looks very smug.

GOATMAN: As I was saying before, my name is...

JIM: This is bullshit !

Panel 2: A bust shot of the goatman, he looks annoyed.

GOATMAN: Uh..

JIM(op): A fucking goatman got the drop on us ! How are we supposed to explain that to people ?

GOATMAN (2): Excuse m....

KARL(op): No one believes most of the things we see anyway.

JIM(connected): True, but it’s still a goatman. Not even a big one at that. Look at his scrawny arms and his bald sp...

Panel 3: Angle on same as last panel. The GOATMAN is screaming at them.

GOATMAN: I’m talking here ! Shut the hell up !

Panel 4: A downward shot from behind the GOATMAN. He is hanging his head in defeat.

JIM(op): And on top of that he’s a total douchebag !

GOATMAN: Do you even want to know who I am ?

Panel 5: A side shot of JIM shrugging.

JIM: That depends. Are you the man we’re after ?

Panel 6: A close-up of the GOATMAN shrugging.

GOATMAN: And if I said I was ?

Panel 7: A shot of JIM reaching back for a gun.

JIM: I’d say this is going to be a lot easier than I thought.

GOATMAN(op): Are you so sure ?

[Page 5][6 Panels]

Panel 1: A shot of JIM looking back in confusion.

JIM: Where the fuck is my gun ?!

GOATMAN: Did you honestly think I’d put you in a pit and not take all of your weapons away ?

JIM 2: Well, it was just wishful thinking.

Panel 2: A side shot of KARL looking up.

KARL: Are you the person we are looking for ? Are you the man REX LANSING is after ?

Panel 3: A shot of the GOATMAN shaking his head.

GOATMAN: No, I am but a mere creation of that man. The man you seek is...

VOICE(op): Me.

Panel 4: A shot of the GOATMAN looking over his shoulder to see PROFESSOR DANTE, a middle aged man with black hair styled into two satanic horns.

GOATMAN: Ah, Professor. We were just speaking about you.

Panel 5: A side shot of JIM looking upset. KARL is in the background rolling his eyes.

JIM: I told you it would be some lame ass Satan worshipper.

KARL: It always is.

PROFESSOR(op): Silence !

Panel 6: A side shot of the PROFESSOR staring down at them.

PROFESSOR: Were you hired to kill me ?

JIM(op): No, but now I want to. You took my gun. No one touches my weapons but me.

[JonHParrish]

[Page 6][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A two shot of JIM and KARL looking very annoyed.

PROFESSOR(op): Well, I’m sorry to hear that because I was going to let you two be the first to witness my genius.

KARL: Where have I heard this before ?

JIM: It’s like they take a fucking workshop or something.

Panel 2: A shot of a caged door behind JIM and KARL slowly rising. There is nothing but shadows behind it.

PROFESSOR(op): Behold !

Panel 3: A two bust shot of KARL and JIM looking in confusion.

JIM(whispering): What are we supposed to be beholding ?

KARL: I hope it’s not something lame.

Panel 4: A downward close-up of a large claw coming out of the darkness.

SFX: GRRRUUURRRR...

Panel 5: A downward from behind shot of the creature. All we can see is the outline of fur. JIM and KARL are standing in front of it. JIM has his head down in defeat. KARL is looking on in slight disappointment.

PROFESSOR(op): Perhaps if you swear allegiance to me, I will let you live.

JIM: I just can’t win can I ?

[Page 7][7 Panels]

Panel 1: A full shot of the creature, which is a hamster demon. It is very large, about the size of an SUV, and has lava oozing out of it’s nose and mouth. JIM and KARL are standing a bit away from it.

PROFESSOR(op): Behold my living weapon !

Panel 2: A shot of the PROFESSOR looking down at them with an evil grin, revealing vampire like fangs.

PROFESSOR: May your god have mercy on you.

Panel 3: A side two shot of JIM and KARL.

JIM: A fucking hamster-demon. Is there a Villians for Dumbasses book that I don’t know about ?

KARL: JIM ? May I ?

Panel 4: A two shot. JIM has his hands out in front of him and KARL is walking toward the monster.

JIM: Be my guest.

Panel 5: A side two shot of KARL skipping over to the creature.

KARL: Dum-Dum-Do-Dum.

JIM(op): Can you at least act like we’re professionals, KARL ?

Panel 6: A from behind shot of KARL. We can see the monster staring at him hungrily.

PROFESSOR(op): Are you in such a hurry to end your life, boy ?

Panel 7: Small panel. An extreme side close-up of KARL smirking. Two fangs are revealed. They are slightly longer than the PROFESSORS.

[Page 8][6 Panels]

Panel 1: An upward shot of KAL crouching as if he was in pain.

KARL: Ahghh !

Panel 2: A shot of his eyes, they are now a glowing red.

Panel 3: A shot of his shirt. It is becoming ripped open.

PROFESSOR(op): What ?

Panel 4: A shot of his face. His ears are growing and his two front teeth are
getting longer. His hands are turning into claws. His skin is covered with a light blue fur.

Panel 5: A shot of the PROFESSOR. He does not look pleased at all.

PROFESSOR: What is going on ?

JIM(op): Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you. My man KARL....

Panel 6: A shot of JIM Looking up at the PROFESSOR.

JIM: rents his body out to a few demons. Three to be exact.

[Page 9][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A side shot of KARL’s head. His ears are amazingly long and his features resemble a rabbits, whiskers, little nose, buck teeth.

JIM(op): Fucked up, huh ?

Panel 2: A side shot of KARL standing upright. His shirt is now torn. His arms
are long enough to still touch the ground. His feet are twice as large as they were before.

KARL: Grrrrr

Panel 3: A side two shot of KARL diving at the giant hamster. The hamster is roaring in defiance.

Panel 4: A shot of the hamster rearing up on it’s hind legs. KARL has landed on his face.

Panel 5: An upward shot of KARL slashing at the hamster’s eyes.

HAMSTER: Eeeee ! Eee !

KARL: Raghh !

[Page 10][8 Panels]

Panel 1: A two shot of KARL jumping backwards off of the hamster’s face.

Panel 2: A shot of KARL landing and sliding backwards.

Panel 3: A side shot of KARL sliding and stopping past JIM.

JIM: Show-off.

Panel 4: A shot of the hamster charging blindly toward them.

Panel 5: A shot of KARL preparing to jump.

Panel 6: A side shot of the HAMSTER about twenty feet from them.

Panel 7: An upward shot of KARL leaping into the air.

Panel 8: A shot of KARL coming back down toward the HAMSTER with one of
his claws raised in the air. There is a large fire ball inside of it.

KARL: Raaaghhh !

PROFESSOR(op): My weapon !

[Hyperfish]

I like this....you've got quite a atmospheric opening and the interplay between your two protagonists is gritty and moves the action along well.... good start :happy: Any sort of idea on what sort of art style you'd want for this?

[Hyperfish]

Ahh...sorry I saw cartoonish at the top there....that would answer my question :blink:

[JonHParrish]

Yeah. I want it to be cartoony, but still have some action.

[martin993]

Hey. I really liked it. I didn't like the start as much because I'm not a fan of voiceovers, the dialogue was a bit obvious at times (having them say "well you kidnapped us and held us at gunpoint so..." with the panel showing us them kidnapped and held at gunpoint) and the two characters seem a bit interchangable (both young smartarses with the same voice) but as soon as they met the goatman the story got really really funny. I really dig the idea about this guy renting out space in his body to demons. I'd read through a whole issue on the strength of that one idea alone. I'd change the title to something a bit more interesting but don't give away that the dude has demons in him because that's a really funny surprise.

That was good fun to read. Nice job!

[JonHParrish]

Thanks. The opening does need a little work. I'm planning on changing it. That's just the working title for now. I'm still thinking about a name.

[JonHParrish]

[Page 11][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A shot of a large explosion.

Panel 2: A side shot of JIM shielding himself.

JIM: Aghh !

Panel 3: A shot of a large ball of smoke rising from a crater.

Panel 4: A two shot of the PROFESSOR and his GOATMAN. Both of them look
very nervous.

Panel 5: A shot of a human hand rising up from the crater.

KARL: Well, that was fun.

[Page 12][8 Panels]

Panel 1: A side shot of JIM and KARL. JIM is yelling at KARL as he walks
toward him. KARL is back to his normal form, just a little dirtier and shirtless.
His pants are slightly torn.

JIM: Well, it took you long enough !

KARL: Well, next time you can fight the giant abomination and I’ll watch.

JIM 2: At least I wouldn’t have taken my sweet time.

Panel 2: A side shot of the PROFESSOR and the GOATMAN. The PROFESSOR is looking down with no emotion on his face. GOATMAN looks nervous.

PROFESSOR: Impressive.

GOATMAN: Master, I think we should be leaving now.

PROFESSOR: I didn’t create you to think. I made you to fight.

Panel 3: A side shot of the PROFESSOR shoving the GOATMAN over the edge. GOATMAN is suspended in the air in cartoon fashion.

PROFESSOR: So do what I created you for.

GOATMAN: Master ?

Panel 4: An upward shot of the GOATMAN falling. He’s screaming.

GOATMAN: Ahhhh !

Panel 5: A shot of the GOATMAN crashing and rolling on the ground.

GOATMAN: Ooof.

Panel 6: A downward shot of the GOATMAN sprawled on the ground looking
up. JIM and KARL’s shadow are over him.

GOATMAN: Oh god.

JIM(op): KARL, do you know what time it is ?

KARL(op): I sure do, JIM.

Panel 7: An upward two shot of KARL and JIM. Their faces are heavily
shadowed.

JIM: Ass whoopin time.

[Page 13][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A side shot of the PROFESSOR stroming towards a wooden. There
are two muscular minions standing guard. They are both brandishing long javelin type weaons. One of them is saluting him. The walls should look as if their made of stone to indicate that they are underground.

CAP: Meanwhile.

PROFESSOR: I spent five months working on that weapon. It doesn’t matter.

MINION 1: Master.

Panel 2: A shot of him pushing open a door.

PROFESSOR: By the time they get out of the pit......

Panel 3: A side shot of the PROFESSOR standing in front of a desk picking up old scrolls.

PROFESSOR: I’ll be long gone.

Panel 4: A side bust shot of the PROFESSOR looking shocked.

JIM(op): That’s what you think, asshole.

PROFESSOR: It can’t be !

Panel 4: A two shot of JIM and KARL standing in the doorway. KARL’s hands are transformed into claws and he is holding two minions.

JIM: It’s go time, motherfucker.

Panel 5: A side shot of the PROFESSOR up against the table in fear.

PROFESSOR: But how ?

JIM(op): How do you think ?

[Page 14][7 Panels]

Panel 1: A three shot of JIM and KARL. The GOATMAN is standing behind them.

PROESSOR(op): Minion ?

GOATMAN: Sorry, but they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Panel 2: A side shot of JIM pointing at the PROFESSOR dramatically.

JIM: And now we have an offer for you. You can come quietly..

Panel 3: A bust two shot of KARL and JIM. KARL has his fangs bared.

JIM: Or we could seriously fuck you up.

Panel 4: A shot of the PROFESSOR looking very serious.

JIM(op): Either way, you’re coming with us.

PROFESSOR: Or am I ?

Panel 5: A downward shot of the PROFESSOR standing with his arms outstretched. A pentagram of flame is formed at his feet.

Panel 6: Small panel. A close-up of the PROFESSOR with a grin on his face. Flames are rising around him.

PROFESSOR: Now you will witness my true power.

Panel 7: A four shot. From behind shot of JIM, KARL, and GOATMAN. Before them is a large pillar of fire.

KARL: Whoa !

JIM: What the shit ?!

GOATMAN: Oh god no.

[Page 15][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A shot of the pillar of fire. The flames are receding.

PROFESSOR: Now you’ll pay.

Panel 2: A close-up of a hooved foot.

PROFESSOR: You destroyed my weapon...

Panel 3: A shot of a black muscular arm.

PROFESSOR: and now I’m going to destroy you.

Panel 4: A close-up of a black face with red-eyes and red horns.

PROFESSOR: All of you.

Panel 5: This shot should take up the middle of the page. A medium shot of
the PROFESSOR, now in demon form. He is large, with midnight skin and red horns. There are red tribal tattoos on his arms and shoulders. He is also now bald. He has an evil grin on his face.

PROFESSOR: Prepare to die. Slowly and painfully.

[Page 16][7 Panels]

Panel 1: A bust shot of the PROFESSOR roaring.

Panel 2: A side shot of KARL hunched over again as if he’s about to transform.

KARL: Hugghh !

Panel 3: A shot of the PROFESSOR lunging at him with long claws.

PROFESSOR: If you think that I’m going to let you transform...

Panel 4: A side two shot of KARL getting slashed across the chest. He’s
reeling back in pain.

PROFESSOR: Think again !

KARL: Agghh

JIM(op): KARL !

Panel 5: A shot of the PROFESSOR following up with an uppercut. KARL is in mid-air leaning back.

SFX: Crack !

KARL: Ugn !

Panel 6: A shot of the PROFESSOR catching KARL by the head.

Panel 7: A side shot of the PROFESSOR throwing him with all of his might.

PROFESSOR: Araaghh !

[Page 17][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A side shot of KARL crashing into the wall.

SFX: Boom !

Panel 2: A shot of the PROFESSOR running toward KARL’s unconscious body.

PROFESSOR: Raaghh !

Panel 3: A side shot of the PROFESSOR looking confused

PROFESSOR: Eh ?

Panel 4: A shot from his POV of JIM standing in front of KARL with his hands
in his pockets.

PROFESSOR: So you want to try your luck against me ? Ha !

Panel 5: A close-up of JIM. He has an evil glare in his eye..

PROFESSOR(op): What’s wrong. You don’t have anything to say ?

[JonHParrish]

[Page 18][7 Panels]

Panel 1: A shot of KARL sitting up holding his head.

KARL: Ugn. My head.

Panel 2: A side shot of KARL looking surprised.

JIM(op): It’s about fucking time you came to.

Panel 3: A three shot of JIM and the GOATMAN standing over the
PROFESSOR, who has now returned to his original form and is bound and gagged. JIM has a triumphant grin on his face. The GOATMAN looks as if he’s seen something rather disturbing.

KARL(op): JIM ? What the hell happened.

Panel 4: A side two shot of JIM and KARL. JIM is standing in a defensive boxing position. KARL has a skeptical look on his face.

JIM: Well after he handed you your ass. He came at me all crazy and shit. So
I busted out my Muy Thai and totally wrecked his shit.

Panel 5: Angle on same.

Panel 6: Angle on same. KARL is talking. JIM is hanging his head in defeat.

KARL: You kicked him in the nuts didn’t you ?

JIM: Yeah, but I didn’t get knocked out like you.

Panel 7: A worm’s eye view of the PROFESSOR laying unconscious on the
ground. JIM, KARL, and the GOATMAN are standing in the background talking
to each other.

KARL: So what do we do now ?

JIM: Get the fuck out of here.

KARL(connected): But our car is trashed.

GOATMAN: I may have an idea.

[Page 19][6 Panels]

Panel 1: A bust three shot. KARL is standing there in awe. JIM is rolling his eyes. The GOATMAN is holding a ring of keys in his hand.

GOATMAN: Here it is.

KARL: This car is....amazing.

JIM: You have got to be kidding me.

Panel 2: A shot from JIM’s POV of a large van with SATANMOBILE spray painted across the side.

JIM: Satanmobile ? What was this guy, sixteen ?

KARL: We can have someone look at it when we get back home. A ride is a ride.

Panel 3: A from behind shot of the van. KARL is throwing the PROFESSOR into the back. The GOATMAN is climbing into the van. JIM’s arm is hanging outside of the driver’s side window.

JIM(op): Let’s get this show on the road. The sooner we can give LANSING
this walking cliche the better.

GOATMAN: So what happens to me ?

KARL: We were looking for a new fourth roommate.

Panel 4: A shot of the van through the windshild. The GOATMAN is sitting in
the passenger’s seat. JIM is sitting behind the wheel. KARL is climbing in the side door.

GOATMAN: What happened to your old roommate ?

JIM: Well..

KARL: JIM put him in a coma for touching his porn.

Panel 5: A close-up of JIM’s hand turning the ignition.

GOATMAN(op): What ?!

JIM(op): Fuck you. I did not put him into a coma.

Panel 6: A from behind shot of the van driving down the road.

JIM: The fall from our fifth floor apartment put him in a coma. I just tossed
him over the banister.

GOATMAN: Oh god.

JIM 2: What ? I have a list in this order: God, porn, family, and friends. He
knew what he was doing.

[Page 20][Panels]

Panel 1: A shot of REX LANSING’s skyscraper.

CAP: Later.

JIM: Well, we brought you your man. Where’s our cash ?

Panel 2: A shot of JIM looking upset.

REX(op): I don’t remeber promising you any money.

JIM: Are you fucking serious ?

Panel 3: A side shot of REX LANSING sitting at his desk.

REX: and I even if I did, you wouldn’t get it. I asked you to track him down.

Panel 4: A shot of the PROFESSOR on the ground tied-up.

REX(op): Not beaten and tied up.

KARL(op): But we had no...

Panel 5: A bust shot of REX LANSING glaring at them.

REX: I don’t want to hear any excuses. Just get out of my sight before I call security.

Panel 6: A close-up of JIM’s face. He looks extremely pissed.

JIM: What a crock of shit.

Panel 7: A three shot of KARL and JIM looking at each other. The GOATMAN is standing behind them looking confused.

REX(op): Didn’t you hear me ? I said get out !

GOATMAN: Are you guys okay ?

KARL: You might want to leave.

JIM: Yeah. Go wait in the van. We’ll be out in a minute.

[Page 21][5 Panels]

Panel 1: A shot of the GOATMAN sitting in the van.

CAP(JIM): We need to have a discussion with Mr. LANSING.

GOATMAN: Man, I’m hungry. I wonder what’s taking them so long ?

Panel 2: A shot of JIM and KARL getting into the car.

GOATMAN(op): Are you guys okay ? What happened ?

JIM: We made that asshole give us our fucking money that’s what happened.

Panel 3: A shot of LANSING sitting under his desk in the fetal position.

CAP(GOATMAN): How’d you do that ?

CAP(JIM): Well, I guess KARL has a way with words.

Panel 4: A side two shot of JIM and KARL. JIM is waving a large wad of money. KARL has a grin on his face.

JIM: We’ve got a new car, a new roommate, and a fat wad of cash. I have to say, aside from me not getting laid, today wasn’t half bad.

KARL: Yeah, but DANNY will want a cut of the profits.

Panel 5: A shot of the van driving off into the sunset.

JIM: Fuck him. We’ll split it between the three of us. Me, you, and...hey goatman, do you have a name ?

GOATMAN: No, my master always called my minion.

JIM 2: Well, I guess since you’re half-goat we’ll name you BILLY. BILLY GOAT.

KARL: Wow. How original.

JIM 3: Shut the fuck up, KARL.

CAP: The End.

[kshah777]

Hey, just read the whole story... I was a bit put off by the tone at first, but it got very funny as things went on. I think the humorous angle works a lot better for a story with demons, otherwise things get stale and the genre usually takes itself way too seriously. No real crits here... I'd be interested to see what happens next. Nice work.

[JonHParrish]

Thanks. And congrats on winning the challenge.

[JonHParrish]

Bump for justice !