The Anti-crest
07-16-2006, 08:12 PM
I wrote this as a short story, you can read it at "My Prose" in the sig in that format but I thought I should write it out as a comic script just to see how it would read in that format, and maybe after the big project I'm working on I can have someone draw it in that format. I dunno. But anyway here it is. If anybody wants to draw it thatd rock.
FACE OF JUDGEMENT
Page 1- Six panels, three on top and thee on bottom, equal sized. Title should run across the top of the page over lapping bits of the top row of panels.
Panel 1: There is a line of undetermined number of people, you can mostly just see three of them. Robert is in the center of the panel. We are seeing the upper half of the boy's bodies and they look tired and scared. Robert has brown shaggy hair and is unshaven. The other boys are nondescript. All of them are in their late teens. All nude. The line is positioned next to a very metallic looking wall. No decor of any sort.
Cap:(bottom of panel) We stood there in line. I couldn't believe my ears as I heard the official word. They changed the laws.
Panel 2: Should look like the same line as before, but further down. More boys. Different from the ones we saw in the first panel. You can see a Guard with his gun pulled.The guards gun is very sleek and impressive, though made for a small body it looks like a toy assault riffle. He is much younger, around 10 and looks angry. Like you would expect a Nazi to look at the Jews during world war 2. He's wearing riot gear. All the guards will wear similar gear, a helmet with clear visor, this particular soldier has his raised. Covering their body is flame proof, bullet proof pitch black cover-alls. There are also deep red upper arm, forearm, groin, thigh, knee and shin protectors and thick heavy black boots over the cover-alls.
Cap:(bottom of panel)How can a government close public schools to anybody? I understand we're different from them, but still...
Panel 3: This is the end of the same line. There is a huge steel door, opened into a dark, very eerie area with two more guards on either side. One of the guards is smoking, and he's barely 7 or 8. It should look awful. They are only letting people walk in one at a time. So we should see one of the older boys already in the corridor, with the guards riffles crossing the center blocking any other boys from entering.
Cap1:(top of panel)They say we aren't as smart as they, but they refuse to let us learn.
Cap2:(bottom of panel)I believe they are afraid to find out how smart we really are.
Panel 4: This is back on Robert's face, he's being woken up at gunpoint with a flashlight in his face. He's confused. It's dark except where the flashlight is shining. the little background we can see is a typical dorm room. A little messy, posters of crudely dressed women on one wall, on the other a poster for the rock band System of A Down.
Cap:They woke us early this morning.
Panel 5: You see the hall of the Dorm, tons of kids are being ushered out of their rooms. Robert is lost in the crowd. The hall is crowded and the people in their late teens are scared. They don't know what is going on. The guards should look their ages, much smaller and thinner than the older teens who are held at gun point. The captives should look like they could take these children if they fought back, but are to scared to do anything but listen to the shouting officers in riot gear.
Cap1: A few years ago they told us that our lives would change.
Cap2: Our younger siblings had been touched by God.
Panel 6: We see Robert in line again, the line has moved forward, now we see a slight bit of graffiti on the walls. One of the boys further ahead in line had snuck chalk into the line and wrote "abandon all hope" on the wall as a throw back to Dante's inferno. It should be clear these captives see the end of this line as the gate to hell.
Cap1: We encouraged their gifts of course. We never expected this.
Cap2: It's been four days and we still stand in this ghastly line.
Page 2: Nine Panels, Three panels for each of Three lines.
Panel 1: The boys are looking less healthy and more tired now. They haven't slept in days. Robert's unshaven, his facial hair is thicker. The bags under his eyes are deeper.
Cap: No rest. No hope. Nothing but misery.
Panel 2: Two guards are beating one of the older boys. A pistol is smashed into his face as they throw him against a grey, steel wall.
Cap: We've been beaten.
Panel 3: We are seeing a cafeteria like scene, close up on any nondescript boy, just like the others in his teens. He's eating a grey paste like food that looks like mush.
Cap: We've been fed, though nothing palatable.
Panel 4: There are naked boys standing there being shot at with hoses off a fire truck. The cold water is smashing into their bodies, leaving bruises.
Cap1: We've even been showered.
Panel 5: The image is tilted towards the top. We can see a public address system on the wall above the line. The line has moved a very little bit, the graffiti should be further behind Robert.
P.A.: STAY CALM
Cap: A message repeats in English on the overhead address system.
Panel 6: The boys are still naked and they stand kind of arms length from each other. We're on a close up on Robert. He's got a very skinny chest and we can really see how young he is. He's an adult but barely, no hair on his chest, skinny bird chest and bruises on his body.
Cap: Naked, we stand in front of cold sterile metallic doors unsure of what lies beyond.
Panel 7: We're facing dead into the darkness of the metallic doors. You can not see anything inside, just a long dark hallway. The doors are heavy cold Steele and look very intimidating and large.
Cap: One at a time we enter and no one comes back out. They must be sending us out through another door. This can't be the end of the line.
Panel 8: The guards next to the doorway are pointing to the next kid in line. It's Robert and he doesn't want to move. He is scared and weak.
Cap1: One at a time we walk into the room. No one comes back out.
Cap2: This can't be the end of the line.
Panel 9: Robert is walking down the long dark room. There is nothing on the walls. It is dark and hollow looking.
Cap1: I stumble into the cold and dark room.
Cap2: I fear the immediate future.
Page 3: Three panels, each 1/3rd of the page separated horizontally.
Panel 1: There is this wall of bright light and color. A mosaic of images. Hundreds of televisions all turned to different channels in a collage of sex, violence and pop stars. The TVs are pretty large so we can probably only see a few of them, but I want it to look huge. I want it to be a blitzkrieg of distraction. We can see a silhouette of several people - male and female - sitting at a round desk. We can't tell exactly but I would say there are about five of them.
Cap1: (top of panel)The one at the center addresses me, the voice is high pitched and strained.
Silhouette in Center: We are required to give you a fair trial. Defend yourself, and convince us to let you stay in school.
Robert: I... I'm only nineteen. I am still young and haven't even begun to understand the world around me. Please. Dear God, please don't retire me.
Cap: (bottom of panel)God is the only one who hears my desperate plea. I wonder if He cares as I hear the children laughing at me.
Panel 2: Close up on one of the silhouettes. This one is female. She looks young, even though we can not see her face. She is small, and her hair is cut very plain from what we can see. Remember this is all silhouette so we can't see much. The TVs are bright and wild. We should see people on them but not be able to tell what is going on.
Silhouette: A whole nineteen years old you say? Sir, you are already middle aged and you've never held a job. You are unmarried and procreation is nearly impossible for you. You've spent your years in school and learned what?
Cap(bottom of Panel):She lingers on the word procreation as if sex fascinated her. By the sound of her voice I can't imagine she is more than ten.
Panel 3: This is a close up on another of the silhouettes and beyond that just the shadows and the TVs. There should be bright lights from the TV and shapes that look like random images.
Silhouette from the right: I'll tell you what. Tell me why you should be allowed to live with the new evolution, citing examples from the Armenian massacre of 1915 and lyrics from popular rock band the Beatles.
Silhouette of the girl from the left: You have 35 seconds.
Page 4: 8 panels. Four on top 1/3 of page. 2 in the middle 1/3 of page and 2 on the bottom 1/3 of page.
Panel 1: The boy is closing his eyes, he looks almost at peace except for the tired look on his eyes. He is unsure of himself.
No Caption.
Panel 2: Same shot, but his mouth is opened just a little bit. He is mumbling the first thing that comes to his mind.
Cap: I sing.
Robert: Living is easy with eyes closed.
Panel 3: We should see a single television with a silhouette in front of it. The girl from before. She has an impatient posture.
Robert(off panel): Misunderstanding all you see
Panel 4: Back on Robert, He's feeling more confident now. A smile almost crosses his chapped lips.
Robert: It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out,
Panel 5: He lifts his head as if hes trying to face God. As if the music is bringing his spirit back and as if he knows where the song is going, as if he can win this. Confidence gives him strength.
Robert: It doesn't matter much to me...
Panel 6: His spirit is gone. The words escaped his mouth and before he could correct them he failed the test. He knows it. They know it. He made a mistake. He chose the wrong words.
Silhouette:(off panel) Excuse me, did you just say that it doesn't matter to you?
Panel 7: The silhouettes are the focus, they look like they find this funny though again we can not see any facial detail its all in their posture. They are relaxed and look like kids teasing the neighborhood dog they know will never bite them.
Robert(off panel): I... was singing...
Panel 8: Robert beings to cry again. His tears and snot cover his face. He's a mess again.
Cap: I knew I had failed.
Page 5: Splash page. We're looking now at the screens again, this time we see more of them and can make out what is going on with them. The shadows are still in front of the lowest screen. There should be Four televisions on each horizontal row. Three rows high. There should be blatant nudity, an explosion, an American flag, big bird, and other scattered images. The boy is naked and looks humbled and weak. There are two doors visible. One to the right, and one to the left. They both look menacing and sterile.
Center Silhouette: Get out of here. The left door will take you to the retirement home. You've embarrassed yourself enough.
Cap1(along bottom): Written by Robert Tidwell.
Cap2(along bottom): Illustrated by your name.
FACE OF JUDGEMENT
Page 1- Six panels, three on top and thee on bottom, equal sized. Title should run across the top of the page over lapping bits of the top row of panels.
Panel 1: There is a line of undetermined number of people, you can mostly just see three of them. Robert is in the center of the panel. We are seeing the upper half of the boy's bodies and they look tired and scared. Robert has brown shaggy hair and is unshaven. The other boys are nondescript. All of them are in their late teens. All nude. The line is positioned next to a very metallic looking wall. No decor of any sort.
Cap:(bottom of panel) We stood there in line. I couldn't believe my ears as I heard the official word. They changed the laws.
Panel 2: Should look like the same line as before, but further down. More boys. Different from the ones we saw in the first panel. You can see a Guard with his gun pulled.The guards gun is very sleek and impressive, though made for a small body it looks like a toy assault riffle. He is much younger, around 10 and looks angry. Like you would expect a Nazi to look at the Jews during world war 2. He's wearing riot gear. All the guards will wear similar gear, a helmet with clear visor, this particular soldier has his raised. Covering their body is flame proof, bullet proof pitch black cover-alls. There are also deep red upper arm, forearm, groin, thigh, knee and shin protectors and thick heavy black boots over the cover-alls.
Cap:(bottom of panel)How can a government close public schools to anybody? I understand we're different from them, but still...
Panel 3: This is the end of the same line. There is a huge steel door, opened into a dark, very eerie area with two more guards on either side. One of the guards is smoking, and he's barely 7 or 8. It should look awful. They are only letting people walk in one at a time. So we should see one of the older boys already in the corridor, with the guards riffles crossing the center blocking any other boys from entering.
Cap1:(top of panel)They say we aren't as smart as they, but they refuse to let us learn.
Cap2:(bottom of panel)I believe they are afraid to find out how smart we really are.
Panel 4: This is back on Robert's face, he's being woken up at gunpoint with a flashlight in his face. He's confused. It's dark except where the flashlight is shining. the little background we can see is a typical dorm room. A little messy, posters of crudely dressed women on one wall, on the other a poster for the rock band System of A Down.
Cap:They woke us early this morning.
Panel 5: You see the hall of the Dorm, tons of kids are being ushered out of their rooms. Robert is lost in the crowd. The hall is crowded and the people in their late teens are scared. They don't know what is going on. The guards should look their ages, much smaller and thinner than the older teens who are held at gun point. The captives should look like they could take these children if they fought back, but are to scared to do anything but listen to the shouting officers in riot gear.
Cap1: A few years ago they told us that our lives would change.
Cap2: Our younger siblings had been touched by God.
Panel 6: We see Robert in line again, the line has moved forward, now we see a slight bit of graffiti on the walls. One of the boys further ahead in line had snuck chalk into the line and wrote "abandon all hope" on the wall as a throw back to Dante's inferno. It should be clear these captives see the end of this line as the gate to hell.
Cap1: We encouraged their gifts of course. We never expected this.
Cap2: It's been four days and we still stand in this ghastly line.
Page 2: Nine Panels, Three panels for each of Three lines.
Panel 1: The boys are looking less healthy and more tired now. They haven't slept in days. Robert's unshaven, his facial hair is thicker. The bags under his eyes are deeper.
Cap: No rest. No hope. Nothing but misery.
Panel 2: Two guards are beating one of the older boys. A pistol is smashed into his face as they throw him against a grey, steel wall.
Cap: We've been beaten.
Panel 3: We are seeing a cafeteria like scene, close up on any nondescript boy, just like the others in his teens. He's eating a grey paste like food that looks like mush.
Cap: We've been fed, though nothing palatable.
Panel 4: There are naked boys standing there being shot at with hoses off a fire truck. The cold water is smashing into their bodies, leaving bruises.
Cap1: We've even been showered.
Panel 5: The image is tilted towards the top. We can see a public address system on the wall above the line. The line has moved a very little bit, the graffiti should be further behind Robert.
P.A.: STAY CALM
Cap: A message repeats in English on the overhead address system.
Panel 6: The boys are still naked and they stand kind of arms length from each other. We're on a close up on Robert. He's got a very skinny chest and we can really see how young he is. He's an adult but barely, no hair on his chest, skinny bird chest and bruises on his body.
Cap: Naked, we stand in front of cold sterile metallic doors unsure of what lies beyond.
Panel 7: We're facing dead into the darkness of the metallic doors. You can not see anything inside, just a long dark hallway. The doors are heavy cold Steele and look very intimidating and large.
Cap: One at a time we enter and no one comes back out. They must be sending us out through another door. This can't be the end of the line.
Panel 8: The guards next to the doorway are pointing to the next kid in line. It's Robert and he doesn't want to move. He is scared and weak.
Cap1: One at a time we walk into the room. No one comes back out.
Cap2: This can't be the end of the line.
Panel 9: Robert is walking down the long dark room. There is nothing on the walls. It is dark and hollow looking.
Cap1: I stumble into the cold and dark room.
Cap2: I fear the immediate future.
Page 3: Three panels, each 1/3rd of the page separated horizontally.
Panel 1: There is this wall of bright light and color. A mosaic of images. Hundreds of televisions all turned to different channels in a collage of sex, violence and pop stars. The TVs are pretty large so we can probably only see a few of them, but I want it to look huge. I want it to be a blitzkrieg of distraction. We can see a silhouette of several people - male and female - sitting at a round desk. We can't tell exactly but I would say there are about five of them.
Cap1: (top of panel)The one at the center addresses me, the voice is high pitched and strained.
Silhouette in Center: We are required to give you a fair trial. Defend yourself, and convince us to let you stay in school.
Robert: I... I'm only nineteen. I am still young and haven't even begun to understand the world around me. Please. Dear God, please don't retire me.
Cap: (bottom of panel)God is the only one who hears my desperate plea. I wonder if He cares as I hear the children laughing at me.
Panel 2: Close up on one of the silhouettes. This one is female. She looks young, even though we can not see her face. She is small, and her hair is cut very plain from what we can see. Remember this is all silhouette so we can't see much. The TVs are bright and wild. We should see people on them but not be able to tell what is going on.
Silhouette: A whole nineteen years old you say? Sir, you are already middle aged and you've never held a job. You are unmarried and procreation is nearly impossible for you. You've spent your years in school and learned what?
Cap(bottom of Panel):She lingers on the word procreation as if sex fascinated her. By the sound of her voice I can't imagine she is more than ten.
Panel 3: This is a close up on another of the silhouettes and beyond that just the shadows and the TVs. There should be bright lights from the TV and shapes that look like random images.
Silhouette from the right: I'll tell you what. Tell me why you should be allowed to live with the new evolution, citing examples from the Armenian massacre of 1915 and lyrics from popular rock band the Beatles.
Silhouette of the girl from the left: You have 35 seconds.
Page 4: 8 panels. Four on top 1/3 of page. 2 in the middle 1/3 of page and 2 on the bottom 1/3 of page.
Panel 1: The boy is closing his eyes, he looks almost at peace except for the tired look on his eyes. He is unsure of himself.
No Caption.
Panel 2: Same shot, but his mouth is opened just a little bit. He is mumbling the first thing that comes to his mind.
Cap: I sing.
Robert: Living is easy with eyes closed.
Panel 3: We should see a single television with a silhouette in front of it. The girl from before. She has an impatient posture.
Robert(off panel): Misunderstanding all you see
Panel 4: Back on Robert, He's feeling more confident now. A smile almost crosses his chapped lips.
Robert: It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out,
Panel 5: He lifts his head as if hes trying to face God. As if the music is bringing his spirit back and as if he knows where the song is going, as if he can win this. Confidence gives him strength.
Robert: It doesn't matter much to me...
Panel 6: His spirit is gone. The words escaped his mouth and before he could correct them he failed the test. He knows it. They know it. He made a mistake. He chose the wrong words.
Silhouette:(off panel) Excuse me, did you just say that it doesn't matter to you?
Panel 7: The silhouettes are the focus, they look like they find this funny though again we can not see any facial detail its all in their posture. They are relaxed and look like kids teasing the neighborhood dog they know will never bite them.
Robert(off panel): I... was singing...
Panel 8: Robert beings to cry again. His tears and snot cover his face. He's a mess again.
Cap: I knew I had failed.
Page 5: Splash page. We're looking now at the screens again, this time we see more of them and can make out what is going on with them. The shadows are still in front of the lowest screen. There should be Four televisions on each horizontal row. Three rows high. There should be blatant nudity, an explosion, an American flag, big bird, and other scattered images. The boy is naked and looks humbled and weak. There are two doors visible. One to the right, and one to the left. They both look menacing and sterile.
Center Silhouette: Get out of here. The left door will take you to the retirement home. You've embarrassed yourself enough.
Cap1(along bottom): Written by Robert Tidwell.
Cap2(along bottom): Illustrated by your name.