The DeadBeat

[jmassie]

These are pages I have been working on while in Exile...My site is down but my silly myspace thing is still active.

pages yay (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=91533792&imageID=924925187&MyToken=46ce5ad9-1fa0-4452-946d-b0c84ae11adf)

[jmassie]

YOu all hate me......Damn.

[sneed]

It's pretty coooool

Reminds me of the gitty stuff Charles Burn did. . . especially El Borbah

Sneed

:)

[thecarrierone]

i missed ur work....
i gotta get to sleep right now... otherwise id give you a big critique on this
ill try to get to it tommorow

ur kinda indy and everyone here likes to say they like all the indy work but very few actually come out to support people that try something different

[jmassie]

yay response.....yay. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :banana:

[Wheeljack]

Its pretty good for 3 panels. Now lets see 3 pages... just not easy to crit only 3 panels. The 1st panel would have been more effective from a worm's eye view. But that's only my opinion. Are you using the 11*17 paperboard? Can't tell but it looks like regular paper. You can fit more details into the large paperboard. And don't worry about the lack of comments... I put up 3 pages finished and colored (about 2 months of work for someone working a full time job) and had to force comments at gunpoint! :) Just keep your head down and keep shovelin!

[jmassie]

Dude there's 8 pages up on that thing....There's a little button that says next or something underneath it. As far as the worm's eye view in the first panel I think that would be a bit much. The pace of this thing would be ruined if you showed a worm's eye view in the first panel. This story has a different pace than what you might be used to. I don't want to beat people over the head with things. The first page or two I'm trying to let you get to know about this lead character without saying much as far as voice balloons or voice over. I am using 11x 17. UH...the detail thing I'm not too sure how to comment on that..I don't like too much detail..that's just a matter of personal taste..my favorite cartoonists probably wouldn't do it for you. You should check out the rest of the story. I think I'm an oddball on this site....given some of the things I see on here. But I think good comics are good comics...the whole mainstream/Indy labeling system is silly these days...I mean Pete Bagge works for Marvel and DC every now and again, Top Shelf is putting out Sci-Fi books, Fantagraphics is putting out Peanuts. There is a blurring of the lines as far as I'm concerned..I read everything....Jason Shiga to Robert Kirkman...why limit yourself. Good stories are good stories..Style is a crutch.

Peace.

[joshm]

I saw all eight pages and I like it. Angles are good and the rhythm works well. I like the last panel. It gives you the hook to pull the reader in. I don't usually read stuff in this kind of style so I'm not a good crits person for this type of work. I do like it and I'm interested in the rest of the story.

Josh

[khoipham]

i like it, but needs some editing. specifically, when addressing someone, that someone should be separated by a comma. for example: "i'm talking to you, bob," not "i'm talking to you bob."

i know. i have issues.

[jmassie]

i like it, but needs some editing. specifically, when addressing someone, that someone should be separated by a comma. for example: "i'm talking to you, bob," not "i'm talking to you bob."

i know. i have issues.
You do have issues, you failed to notice all the letters were capatalized. Seriously though what was bothering you...I need some examples...the thing Is i try to make them talk like normal folks and sometimes I let it get out of hand and make it a bit confusing.

[steveo]

These are pages I have been working on while in Exile...My site is down but my silly myspace thing is still active.



Great...now I want to know how the story ends!

:P

SteveO

[thecarrierone]

what happened to your whitetrash story?
i always got a paul pope vibe from your art... the shape of the faces, the inking ect...

i think that you really can pull it all together and be a force to reckon with in the industry

[jmassie]

what happened to your whitetrash story?
i always got a paul pope vibe from your art... the shape of the faces, the inking ect...

i think that you really can pull it all together and be a force to reckon with in the industry

Damn dude...thanks. I got a day job and quit drawing for a while, I lost steam. I felt like the white trash story was too big for me now...I'll do it one day. This new story is a little easier to handle given my life nowadays...It's shorter and has a lot of superhero action (sort of). I work at a newspaper so I have to do this stuff at night. I'm usually up till like 4 and then I shuffle on to work at about seven....JEEZ! I appreciate the comment though that helps.

[Mike225]

Those pages were really interesting. Good work on the art and the writing.

[Wheeljack]

Guess I'm a dumby... I'll take a look at the other pages and respond.

[Wheeljack]

Looks fine... I guess the only thing to comment on would be the story because once one labels him/herself "indy" then art guidlines are thrown out the window. Like the law's of physics meeting a singularity at the interior of the event horizon in a blackhole or the second before the beginning of the universe. Rules don't apply or things can't be measured.

[thecarrierone]

i dont know if i agree with that.... will eisner, joe kubert, and many others have taken their art outside of the mainstream but the rules still apply

[jmassie]

Looks fine... I guess the only thing to comment on would be the story because once one labels him/herself "indy" then art guidlines are thrown out the window. Like the law's of physics meeting a singularity at the interior of the event horizon in a blackhole or the second before the beginning of the universe. Rules don't apply or things can't be measured.

What the hell do you mean by that? I hate to be rude but there are "indy" guys/gals that can draw circles around any "mainstream person". I think you're dismissing a group of artists and writers who deserve respect because you don't like their style. Believe me 'Rules' are just as important in that niche of the industry as they are in yours, they just have a different set of them. Both 'sides' of the industry though have a lot of elitist know-it-alls running around, who think their sh-- don't stink. I like Comics. Period. I don't give a damn who puts them out who draws them..If they work they work. Don't limit yourself to genres sub-genres and blah blah...You'll miss out on some good stuff.

[rplatt]

Great storytelling. I really enjoy the dialogue; it comes off very natural. The story and characters are very interesting. I thought it was great how you introduced the daughter with the foreshadowing of something bad with the squid-sense. That was really well done. You have an excellent grasp on how to keep a story moving and how to keep things interesting. Keep up the excellent work! :bounce: