Fantasy comic made for daily press

[The Predator]

Here is My fantasy comic I made for the daily press. The layout couldn´t be done so much different cause of the possibility to use it as a strip comic as well.
These are the first 4 pages. Hope you like it.
The Predator
http://www.bitchtown.net/KE1.jpg

[The Predator]

Page 2.
http://www.bitchtown.net/KE2.jpg

[The Predator]

Page 3.
http://www.bitchtown.net/KE3.jpg

[The Predator]

and page 4.
http://www.bitchtown.net/KE4.jpg
I hope you like it.
Take care
The Predator

[nickleboy]

I like the old school feel that it has, good job.

[creativesynergy]

Generally pretty good. You definitely need an editor to go over the text. Proofread it and you'll see where all of the mistakes are, such as "overthrown" instead of overthrowned, "Ebolt's castle" instead of Ebolts castle, and "rebellion" vs. rebillion, all in the first page. That's just the copyediting. There is also a lot of needless text, such as what you've written for the first panel of page one. Try to find the core information required to get the message across, reword text if need be to cut it down, and don't be afraid to break it down into multiple captions per panel. Visually the story is pretty clear, but the text drags the story along.

[jedipencil]

Wow this is really nice, it reminds me of Prince Valiant, which I used to read and collect religiously when I was younger.

[sevans]

I think that some of the inking is letting you down. Alot of the rough hatching isn't blending into the background that well, the faces are probably over rendered -creating a rough, aged look that I don't think you were going for and many of the foreground objects have the same line weight as the background, so your getting creating as much depth as you could have.

Not alot of changes really, much of it is actually leaving out detail.

Positive stuff: I do like the classic feel of the artwork and the amount of detail put into the scenery (creating a good story setting) and you have solid, easy to follow storytelling.

[The Predator]

Thanks for your nice words and good critiques.
About the text. I wrote it my self and since my first language isn´t english I will definetly have someone to do a good translation before printing it, if I find a publisher for it.

I will also look over the text so it´s not to much.

About inking: I know what you talking about, the thing is that I really don´t like drawings that have thick inklines cause it doesn´t feel real for me. It´s a matter of taste but this is how I want it to look.
However I always listening to good critics so I will definetly bare your thoughts in mind.
Once again thanks
All the best
The Predator