Tomb Raider Project finished

[joshm]

I've decided to consolidate all my pages in one discussion. I've finished correcting the pages and I've finished page five. Crits welcome.

http://www.comicfoundry.com/uploads/photos/1056.jpghttp://www.comicfoundry.com/uploads/photos/1084.jpg
http://www.comicfoundry.com/uploads/photos/1068.jpghttp://www.comicfoundry.com/uploads/photos/1069.jpg
http://www.comicfoundry.com/uploads/photos/1082.jpg

[newageartist]

nice work! seems a bit stiff if that makes sense??? but really good work on getting the story across though!

[sevans]

These are some very mixed pages.

The overall layout and story was easy to following. You have draw some good backgrounds and many of the Lara close-ups look good, but overall the anatomy is 'stiff' - as newageartist mentioned.

Take the 3rd panel on the 3rd page, the stiff pose and the very 'plastic' rendering style makes her look like a giant Barbie doll. This is the worst panel of the 5 pages IMO.

The last panel of the first page is brilliant, very natural looking pose and still a fantastic looking Lara.

Soften and alter a couple of the figures here and there (the guys anatomys may to too ripped and perfect) and these pages will be really clean and solid. The pages are almost there.

[joshm]

newageartist: thanks for the comments. I agree with you on the stiffness. I think I do that when I'm trying too hard. If I relax and just do my work without thinking about how well the pencils are they'll turn out better.

sevans: Thanks for the comments and being so descriptive. I'm thinking redrawing panel three page three. That panel always bothered me and now that you mention it I'm probably going to fix it.

Thanks guys,

Josh

[Poboy]

Looks pretty sharp. I agree about the stiffness. For the most part though, Lara is pretty smooth. You've got some nice drawings of her.
I like the change of angle on page 1, panel 5.
page 2, last panel, the fish look a little out of perspective.
Page 4 panel 4, her hand looks a bit small.
Nice job

[joshm]

Poboy,

You're right about the fish. I kind of just through them in there and didn't think about the perspective much, but I see what you mean. I think I'll just leave the hands as they are, because they're just the way I wanted them and I don't want to mess around too much this them. Thanks again.

Josh

[Poboy]

Sorry, I meant page 3 on the hand thing. The one where she's lighting the fire. No big deal though.

[mistermaxx]

Ack...I meant JOSH!! Sorry!

yeah...just a matter of time, JOSH, and you'll be workin' in the biz, i can see it. keep it up!

My bad.

[joshm]

I agree with you there, Poboy. I think I will redraw that hand and panel three on page three.

Thanks,

Josh

[Justice41]

Use reference whenever possible You could have used an above ground rock formation as ref for that underwater cave. I would completely ditch the last page and redraw it with TR not out of costume. Once out of the identity she becomes bimbo number 1 million. Add something but don't cover her duds.
Gotta learn to compress the story telling so the pace doesn't drag or if it's meant to be slow, drag out.
Also you have to learn to draw big. Look at any pro work and take note of how they achieve grandness. I'll tell you how. Proper use of perspective and camera angles.
Good going finishing so many pages. Got my respect.

[joshm]

mistermaxx: don't worry about it. I understand. Thanks for the support and if I can just improve that will be good enough from me.

Justice41: I know what you mean. The artists who can capture the moment tend to make characters larger than life. However, if everything is big then nothing is big. I get what you mean, though. I've got a lot to learn and crits like your really help me improve.

Thanks guys,

Josh