First post

[RedDragonUK]

Hi my name is Mark this is my first post I am a very green penciller wannabe but I try and i'm still trying to find my style. Any constructive crits would be good :) Thank you there is some fantastic work here. I tried to get rid of the line across the middle but I couldnt figure out how I am scanning A3 paper on an A4 scanner.

I will try and put some pages up. This is a Chuck Norris comic I did about his legend its a comedic look at a day in his life after he destroys his alarm clock by staring at it he goes out to buy a new one and the world is threatened by a meteorite. The story is being told by an old woman from the future (maybe too much caffine lol).


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay.jpg


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay3.jpg


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay4.jpg


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay2.jpg



http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay5.jpg


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay6.jpg

Not happy with this one ^^^


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay7.jpg


http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay8.jpg

[RedDragonUK]

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/fullpagedisplay9.jpg

Last one.

[Ribs]

wha?? thats just messed up man. you've taken chuck norris worship to a whole new place i think... and it scares me.
fun stuff though.

[RedDragonUK]

Thanks ha ha ha it was just meant to be a bit of fun really I love the myth's people keep coming up with for him.

[Roel_Torres]

I would suggest taking some life drawing classes. The anatomy on these pages is all over the place. Also, the wrinkles in the clothing doesn't seem authentic. And all the pages seemed rushed.

If I had to make one single suggestion -- tighten up the anatomy and worry about the rest later. Remember to build the understructure properly before sketching everything out.

[RedDragonUK]

Ok will try that thanks

[Fury2Feed]

good stuff, man. Great that you got em done and on here. Don't let all the crits take the fun out of it or it'll never blossom. Just roll with it. Keep it up! :kewl:

[RedDragonUK]

Here is my latest work its an adaption of a script I wrote for a film maker friend of mine.These are the first and second pages I took more time over these and I think its helped.

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/Vendettacomicfullpage1.jpg

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/reddragonuk/Vendettacomicfullpage2.jpg

The last shot is not quite right i'm not sure if its the ear or not.

[RedDragonUK]

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated thanks :)

[Fury2Feed]

these have a good flow. i think you set a good pace. very coherant.

one suggestion i have, is to get a good soft lead pencil and really deepen the shadows and fatten the lines. gives it a lot more depths and clarity. look at your favorite books and you'll notice how fat and dark the lines are. add a lot of character.

these look great, man. keep it up. :thumbs:

[Poboy]

I'll comment on the card game one since I wuld only second others comments on the Norris one.

First the good: I agree with Fury2Feed on the flow. You don't waste panels. Telling the story with as few panels as you can without losing anything is good.

I suggest working mostly on anatomy. Draw in the structure (ie, the oval for the head, the shoulder line, backbone line, etc.). The strongest panel I think is page one panel 2. Did you use your own hand as a reference?
Then work on details. I'm a card player, but I can't figure out what game they are playing. maybe throw a painting on the wall, curtains, etc..

Good start.

[RedDragonUK]

Thanks for the advice I will try those. Poboy its pontoon/blackjack 21's the guy with the pony tail cheats to get 21 and at the end says "always keep an ace up your sleeve" which comes back to haunt him at the end of the movie . Yes I did use my hand for reference :) .

I'll try and add some more detail to the panels. Anatomy is my weak point and i'll try and work on it .Thanks again

[ToddCannon]

You have a lot of raw talent, I think. Also, I think I see in your work a problem that I always struggle with in mine. You probably are drawing too fast. You want to see what it will look like when you finish it so you hurry through it. I'd advise you to do something I have to make myself do all the time. Slow down. Draw slower. I think if you do that, and get a couple of good art books for reference, then you'll see some major improvements.

One thing you are already doing VERY well is telling a story. That, in my opinion, is the most important place to start. If you can tell a story with your art, then you are over halfway there already. Keep it up, man, I think you'll be doing great things with a pencil one day.

[RedDragonUK]

Thank you very much Todd I appreciate the advice as well you make a good point.

[Poboy]

Thanks for the advice I will try those. Poboy its pontoon/blackjack 21's the guy with the pony tail cheats to get 21 and at the end says "always keep an ace up your sleeve" which comes back to haunt him at the end of the movie . Yes I did use my hand for reference :) .
Hmm. Bit unusual to see guys playing blackjack against each other, but typically one would leave the cards on the table, one up and one down. The guy would slip his Ace when going to show the face down card. Be nice to see some chips/bills on the table as well as the rest of the deck(s).

[jbot]

sorta hard to follow. anyway, chuck seems to have lost his beard upon entering the walmart building only to grow it out instantly again.

[RedDragonUK]

He's clever like that Jbot ;).Poboy I hadnt thought about that nice one thanks

[pencilartist]

I give you an A for effort. If you are turning out these many pages and just having fun then you are bound to discovery your own unique style.

Also with you putting out so many pages at a time, your story telling will get better. Nothing wrong with it now just needs some tweaking.

Work on your anatomy and perspective. Just remember with all the pages you are producing the sooner you will under the concept of comics.

[RedDragonUK]

Thanks very much :)