New sequential samples

[Caio Reis]

Hi, everyone! This isn't exactly new, but from a few months ago. It's a five page sample that I did for my porfolio. I'd like to know YOUR opinion, so feel free to point out what you liked and what you didn't, what needs improvement and what is not working at all. ALL CRITS will be apreciated. Thanks.

http://img270.imageshack.us/img270/5632/xmen01copia4zh.jpg

http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/205/xmen02copia4ax.jpg

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/264/xmen03copia4ht.jpg

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/9356/xmen04copia1hp.jpg

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/1847/xmen05copia8av.jpg

[bezelleo]

It's hard to find good help these days, ain't it? And them being evil. :p

These are great. Nice storytelling. Is that Husk or Lifeguard with the shiny skin?

[Caio Reis]

Thanks, bezelleo! People seem to be very shy around here, eh?
C'MON, PEOPLE, SHARE YOUR THOGHTS A LITTLE, this is what a forum stands for, right??? :)
By the way, bezelleo, that would be emma frost (but you can call her husk if you want ;) )

[VANDAL]

I see a lot of strengths here. Pencils are clean, you have a style of our own, perspective seems right especially on the opening panel although i dont like Emma's face on that particular panel. My main gripe is with page four. In panel one you show the female antagonist and then in panel two there are a LOT of bad guys already mixed in with the X-Men. Did the female character summon them from thin air? That is what is very unclear to me cause i dont see them moving towards the X-men beforehand, they seem to just pop up right in the middle of the group.

[Willustrator]

Very, very nice.
Watch for panel edges forcing you to squish eg pg 3 panel1 Wolvies face is slightly off.
Fight scene is great but it looks like Wolverine is singing or something in the middle off it all.
Other than that its very solid and up in the realms of professional work.

Go now and send these badboys off to editors.

[joshm]

I’ll start off with what I like: your pencils are solid and easy to understand. The light source is readily identifiable. Perspective seems to be correct and I like the amount of detail for the background.

My crits: First page seems okay, but the person on the couch doesn’t look like they have two feet.

Second page, first panel Wolvies foot looks like it’s stepping in some kind of gook. The couch is too close to the wall, as the first panel on the first page shows the couch much further away from anything. Panel two Shows a different shadow then in panel one. The couch is further away again, but not enough still. The first page is showing the couch still further. Panel three should have some depth between the bushes and the wall--a shadow will help with that. I’ll skip panel four since it’s the same as three. Panel five should show more of a background, it seems like the bookshelf should be partially showing in this panel.

Page three, panel one, the head of the first figure doesn’t look connected to the person, or it just seems wrong. Panel four has no background and would look better with one. Panel five seems like everyone is not on the same perspective as the furniture and they look like they are floating in some gook. The immerging figure in the front looks like she is floating in the air, but if that’s what you were going for I would have had the bottom of her shoe showing.

Page four, panel 1, the figure seems to have very little lower torso, but that’s okay as long as it is consistent to the rest of the pages. Panel two, the dragon is breaking the wrong panel. We don’t want to be going back to panel one, we want to go to panel three. Everything should flow to the next panel. Most of this panel is fine, but I might have pulled one of the figures closer to create more depth in the shot.

Page five, panel one, the dragon looks like it is different then the other pages and with the dragon breaking the panel it makes it look like it should be closer then everyone else, yet it is breathing fire behind Kitty. Last panel, the characters on the floor do not look like they are lying down. They look like they are separately laying on a different surface then everyone else standing up is on.

You clearly put a lot of work into these pages, so finding all the mistakes after you finish them can suck (I know, trust me), but get the pencil out and start drawing more pages and do better on every attempt and it will never be a waste of time.

Good luck,

Josh

[GRIMSCRIBE]

All great work, page for page. So much effort and hard work, clearly visible
throughout. I only wish it were for your own original characters. I mean,
how many hundreds of you guys out there want to draw the X-MEN for
Marvel? What...all of you, maybe? The majority? That's my point...ain't
gonna happen.
Of all the truly great folks posting here, only a small handfull, if even that,
will ever actually work for Marvel or DC. Doesn't mean you aren't all worthy,
Just that there are only so many X-MEN comics.
Sorry to digress. I just liked these pages so much and again, wish they'd
have been of your characters.
Ron

[Steve Robinson]

well i must said any story told with out the letters is a well told story ! nice work man ! keep up the good work! i dig your darks as well inks will sure make this pic come out :kewl:

[Caio Reis]

Well done, guys! Thnks a lot on the crits and incentive.

Today 12:50 PM
VANDAL I see a lot of strengths here. Pencils are clean, you have a style of our own, perspective seems right especially on the opening panel although i dont like Emma's face on that particular panel. My main gripe is with page four. In panel one you show the female antagonist and then in panel two there are a LOT of bad guys already mixed in with the X-Men. Did the female character summon them from thin air? That is what is very unclear to me cause i dont see them moving towards the X-men beforehand, they seem to just pop up right in the middle of the group.

I see your point. The script had this big flaw; the baddies show up from out of nowere because they're wearing invisible capes (yeah, just lilke harry potter) :blink: and I didn't correct that on the pages. It was a mistake for it creates a problem with the storytelling, as you well pointed out! Thanks!

[Caio Reis]

Today 01:02 PM
Willustrator Very, very nice.
Watch for panel edges forcing you to squish eg pg 3 panel1 Wolvies face is slightly off.
Fight scene is great but it looks like Wolverine is singing or something in the middle off it all.
Other than that its very solid and up in the realms of professional work.

Go now and send these badboys off to editors.

Thanks a lot, I'll pay more attention to it! About the Wolvie singing, well who knows, maybe he was practicing for american idol :laugh:(just kidding) Thanks again and this one is certainly on my portfolio, although it's far from a decent sample!

[Caio Reis]

Today 01:30 PM
joshm
You clearly put a lot of work into these pages, so finding all the mistakes after you finish them can suck (I know, trust me), but get the pencil out and start drawing more pages and do better on every attempt and it will never be a waste of time.

Good luck,

Josh

Apreciate your honesty, man, and I must agree with most of the things you pointed out! It's so many things to think about when you're producing a sample it's really hard not to miss something! But you're totally right about keep trying! Thanks again for your time and crits.

[Caio Reis]

Today 04:29 PM
GRIMSCRIBE All great work, page for page. So much effort and hard work, clearly visible
throughout. I only wish it were for your own original characters. I mean,
how many hundreds of you guys out there want to draw the X-MEN for
Marvel? What...all of you, maybe? The majority? That's my point...ain't
gonna happen.
Of all the truly great folks posting here, only a small handfull, if even that,
will ever actually work for Marvel or DC. Doesn't mean you aren't all worthy,
Just that there are only so many X-MEN comics.
Sorry to digress. I just liked these pages so much and again, wish they'd
have been of your characters.
Ron

Thanks for your comments. I do have characters of my own that I want to see published, but I need the $$$ to do so, because there is not so much room for them out there either. About chances and opportunities, I think what really matters in the end is how much you want to get somewhere and how hard you dedicate yourself to achieving this goal. That's what i believe in, but I respect your opinion and understand your point of view.

[Poboy]

It's been a while since I read X-Men - when did Frost become a Colossus ripoff?

Anyway, I like the detail, and I like seeing them just hanging out. That seems to be disappearing from comics. Good job on the exterior shot.
Crits:
Page 1, aside from the foot thing already mentioned, I like this page a lot.
Page 2, panel 1 is kind of blah. Do we really even need it? If so, how 'bout a different angle. Also, keep your shadows consistent - Wolvie's shadow on the bookshelf shows a light behind him, not above like the other panels.
Page 3, last panel, I'd re-work the feet on the X men.
Page 4, you can fade out the bottom halves of the bad guys to show them appearing to solve the out of nowhere look.
Page 5, in the singing Wolvie shot :p , the bad guys seem to be kind of standing around. More action in them, please. Also the action is all straight on, mix up the angles a little. Last panel, get some art on the walls - Prof. X is a conoisseur :laugh:

Looking good.

[Caio Reis]

Today 08:37 PM
Steve Robinson well i must said any story told with out the letters is a well told story ! nice work man ! keep up teh good work! i dig your darks as well inks will sure make this pic come out

Thanks steve! Working hard on those shadings!

[Caio Reis]

Thanks Poboy! Actually that wasn't my script, so that hanging out thing wasn't my idea (although I liked it too).
Kitty's foot on the pg1-2 is not showing because her leg is bent over and the couch is covering it. But I'll be carefull in the future not to lead the reader to that kind of mistake.
Other than that I agree with your pointers. :thumbs:

[Phatman]

Caio:

I really like your clean style and the storytelling is very solid. My only crit is to keep working on your anatomy and heroic proportions (i.e. everybody is a bit too squat/small). Good job.

[VOGLER/ART]

I have a couple problems with the anatomy in some these pages, but everything else looks pretty good. :)

[bezelleo]

Emma Frost? Really??? :blink:

I've seen Husk look like that before, and even wear that outfit. Lifeguard as well.

But Emma?

Seems a little too big to be Emma. And I doubt she'd wear something like that.

[thecarrierone]

did you use a poser program, or is this straight geometric hand-drafted
some of the backgrounds are really stellar.
backgrounds are where i am struggling right now so any insight into process would help

[Caio Reis]

Today 01:13 PM
Phatman Caio:

I really like your clean style and the storytelling is very solid. My only crit is to keep working on your anatomy and heroic proportions (i.e. everybody is a bit too squat/small). Good job.

Today 03:01 PM
VOGLER/ART I have a couple problems with the anatomy in some these pages, but everything else looks pretty good.

Thanks, guys! I know anatomy is one of my weak points, and I'm always studing it. I try to give the characters a more natural look instead of the usual exaggerated proportions, but perhaps you guys are right about that. I'll try a different approach on that matter next time!

[Caio Reis]

Today 07:41 PM
bezelleo Emma Frost? Really???

I've seen Husk look like that before, and even wear that outfit. Lifeguard as well.

But Emma?

Seems a little too big to be Emma. And I doubt she'd wear something like that.

Sorry, man! My bad. I honestly don't know who Lifeguard is, but that could possibly be Husk too (I gess the Marvel universe may be overpopulated with hot blondies :blink: ). I'll pay more attention to characterization next time!

[Caio Reis]

Today 08:37 PM
thecarrierone did you use a poser program, or is this straight geometric hand-drafted
some of the backgrounds are really stellar.
backgrounds are where i am struggling right now so any insight into process would help

Thanks,man. All my backgrounds are hand-drafted, using my very limited knowledge on perspective. I often find myself struggling with complex scenarios too, so I draw them appart, until I'm satisfied with the result and copy over it later, adding the details:

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/4328/xmentestscenario01b1op.jpg

http://img112.imageshack.us/img112/8171/xmentest01copia21vv.jpg

I hope this could be of any help ;)

[thecarrierone]

very impressive

[OZ!]

The artwork is really good but the action is rather blah. The only well done action panel is Emma elbowing the dude. Otherwise Kitty is doing campy kung fu and Wolverine is screaming at his enemies? I definitley liked every character in every frame, I have no anat crits or anything like that but the action is going to be what editors will look at first and that is what was weak in these pages. Goof around with the scenes a bit. You already draw well enough, now its all about the action.

[BrianDomingos]

I agree about the action being a little bit dull. That pose at the end of page 3 needs some jazzing up.

And on page 5 - Emma can't use her mental powers when she's in her diamond form. Just something to remember when editors take a look at it.

[Caio Reis]

06-11-2006 09:08 PM
OZ! The artwork is really good but the action is rather blah. The only well done action panel is Emma elbowing the dude. Otherwise Kitty is doing campy kung fu and Wolverine is screaming at his enemies? I definitley liked every character in every frame, I have no anat crits or anything like that but the action is going to be what editors will look at first and that is what was weak in these pages. Goof around with the scenes a bit. You already draw well enough, now its all about the action.

06-11-2006 10:03 PM
BrianDomingos I agree about the action being a little bit dull. That pose at the end of page 3 needs some jazzing up.

And on page 5 - Emma can't use her mental powers when she's in her diamond form. Just something to remember when editors take a look at it.

Thanks for that pointer guys. Actually that's something I've already heard before: lack of impact and action scenes in my samples. What could I do to improve that? Use some impact lines? Exaggerate movements? Force unusual angles? What can I do to get a good action shot?

On the last panel, p3 I put the characters on different planes, that's why it seems so wrong. And again, I shal pay more attention to characterization.

[Poboy]

Thanks for that pointer guys. Actually that's something I've already heard before: lack of impact and action scenes in my samples. What could I do to improve that? Use some impact lines? Exaggerate movements? Force unusual angles? What can I do to get a good action shot?

Moving the camera around helps. The action should be the focus of the panel.
Also, if a guy's getting punched, don't just have his head turned, bend him backward, or knock him off his feet.
Even if someone isn't hitting someone else, they should be about to, or charging at the person. Or maybe they are dodging.

[OZ!]

Move the camera around is a good point, exxagerate the impact(good calls Poboy) and watch lots of action movies for fight points, if you haven't ever seen a good fight you won't be able to make them up(so no Chuck Norris) :) Your art is good so it shouldn't be a problem. Check out how to draw the marvel way. It has great exxageration studies in it. That book is excellent for story telling.

[sgm]

Some really great art posted here.

Backgrounds are fantastic! Keep doing them like that and you'll get work.

Anatomy isn't really that much of a concern for me. Looks good enough at this point and any roughness will eventually work itself out in time.

What you pages are lacking in is dynamics, but I think it's the easiest thing to learn to do in comics.

The "How to Draw the Marvel Way" book is a great place to start, but also look at how other artists' handle action scenes. Take a look at Terry and Rachael Dodson's "Marvel Knights: Spider-Man" work, especially the first 4 issues (it's been collected in tradepaperback). His action work is incredibly dynamic and a great source for learning.

[Caio Reis]

Thanks guys, you were of great help! I've seen the Marvel Way book, and as good as it is, it just point out the basics for Comic books. It gave me some directions but I need something deeper. I was thinking about those DC GUIDES; do you know if they would be a good investment (they cost quite a lot in Brazil :cry: )??? And thanks for the MK:Spider-man tip, I'll look into it! I think this lack o dynamism in my sequentials is also due to my influences. Maybe I should be studing the classics, like John Buscema, Byrne, Neal Adams, Perez, etc. Once again, thanks for the pointers :thumbs:

[Caio Reis]

Just finished this sequentials and I'm really looking forward to see some crits. I know there's been improvement in some areas, many of them thanks to the community here, but there are other points I'm still not getting right and I was hoping for some help from you guys. I decided to keep this thread rather than start a new one so it's easier to compare my latest work with previous pages.

http://img474.imageshack.us/img474/8335/theultimates01copy9rk.jpg

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/4265/theultimates02copy3if.jpg

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/2488/theultimates03copy2wo.jpg

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/203/theultimates04copy6yk.jpg

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/4153/theultimates05copy3vy.jpg

http://img93.imageshack.us/img93/6732/theultimates06copy7rf.jpg

[Poboy]

Wow, great pages. Are these off a script, or did you make it up?
Great detail, love the backgrounds. Camera angles really pop.

Only crits are nitpicking crits:
Page 1 panel 1, the cab looks a little small, and the woman dirving the Ford is a little big for her car (but maybe she's just big boned ;) )
Panel 2, I don't like the EEEEEE. It's a bit too prominent. Just a preference thing.
Page 2 looks great. One question: Panel 3, is Capt. America saluting? If so, his hand would be in front of his forehead, not on the side of his head.

Page 3, panel 2. You forgot to erase the part of C.A.'s hand that is behind the bad guy's head.
Page 4, wow.
Page 5, panel 1. Iron Man's arms look a little weird. I don't read Ultimates, maybe it's an armor thing?
Page 6, cool shot of Thor, but where did he come from? Anyway, looks like Iron Man can let go now :p .

This is really top notch stuff.

[L Jamal]

Page 3, panel 2. You forgot to erase the part of C.A.'s hand that is behind the bad guy's head.
It's not very clear, but that's them looking through the window. You are seeing Cap's reflection on the window.

[Caio Reis]

Today 11:02 PM
Poboy Wow, great pages. Are these off a script, or did you make it up?
Great detail, love the backgrounds. Camera angles really pop.

Only crits are nitpicking crits:
Page 1 panel 1, the cab looks a little small, and the woman dirving the Ford is a little big for her car (but maybe she's just big boned )
Panel 2, I don't like the EEEEEE. It's a bit too prominent. Just a preference thing.
Page 2 looks great. One question: Panel 3, is Capt. America saluting? If so, his hand would be in front of his forehead, not on the side of his head.

Page 3, panel 2. You forgot to erase the part of C.A.'s hand that is behind the bad guy's head.
Page 4, wow.
Page 5, panel 1. Iron Man's arms look a little weird. I don't read Ultimates, maybe it's an armor thing?
Page 6, cool shot of Thor, but where did he come from? Anyway, looks like Iron Man can let go now .

This is really top notch stuff.

Thank you for the support Poboy. I made the script myself (with captions and everything). I like to organize my ideas before moving on to the layouts; doing this I try to avoid storytelling and continuity problems (wich not always works) About the crits...
panel 1 p1 - the lady does look too big for her car
panel 2 p1 - I did that EEEE sound to enphasize the alarm sound
panel 3 p2 - Cap's supposed to be puting on his helmet, not saluting, but I see your point about it
panel 2 p3 - I knew that was going to cause a lot of confusion...that's actually Cap's reflected image on the window glass :confused:
panel 1 p5 - Hummm...don't know what to say about that...maybe you're right...I might have added too much detail...
panel 1 p6 - Thor just showed up from nowere to give a hand (he does help, some times!!!) :har:
You have very critical eyes and your comments and support will always be apreciated, Poboy! Thanks a lot!

[Caio Reis]

You got that right Jámal! One thing I noticed later on: the shield should be on his other arm, as that is a mirror image :slap: Thanks for the comment!

[nolanjwerner]

Brazil produces another great comic artist.

I love your pages.

[Caio Reis]

Yesterday 12:20 AM
nolanjwerner Brazil produces another great comic artist.

I love your pages.

Thank you, Nolan! That's very kind of you. These words of encouragement helps me to pursue this career and gives me hope of succeeding in the competitive comics market. After a hard work on sequential samples, studing anatomy, perspective, storytelling, composition and everything else you have to know to get a decent page done and being completely ignored by editors, It's so nice to hear a compliment like that! :thumbs:

[nickleboy]

Whew!!!....my eyes hurt now great job!

[RedDragonUK]

Very impressive good work