ReekingHavoc
06-07-2006, 02:08 PM
By Gene Park
Hey guys. This is a new series I'm working on. It's about a comic book writer who's characters come to life in the real world. Not the most original idea, I know, but I needed an excuse to write these characters. Please feel free to critique the crap outta it.
PAGE 1:
1. (EXT. HIGH SCHOOL--DAY: MEDIUM SHOT of TRENT BENSON, a medium-sized teen with messy brown hair. He's dressed in a cap and gown, holding up his diploma with a forced smile on his face.)
CAPTION: Four years of high school...
2. (INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM--DAY: Trent is sitting at a desk, working furiously on a test.)
CAPTION: ...and five years of college.
3. (EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS--DAY: SAME SHOT AS PANEL 1, except Trent is 5 years older.)
CAPTION: Almost a decade of reading, studying, projects, tests and excruciating pressure...
4. (INT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: SAME SHOT AS PANEL 1, but now Trent is dressed in a grocery store uniform. The forced smile is replaced with a look of disgust.)
CAPTION: ...for this.
5. (PULL BACK to find Trent is bagging groceries at a checkout stand. There is a long line of people waiting on him.)
CAPTION: Fate is really taking its time fucking me up the ass here.
PAGE 2:
1. (EXT. VINNIE'S GROCERY PARKING LOT--DAY: Trent pushes a line of grocery carts through the lot. The expression on his face is dull and lifeless, like a zombie.)
CAPTION: But this time I'm gonna do good.
2. (INT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: In one of the aisles, Trent mops up a large puddle. His facial expression is the same as PANEL 1.)
CAPTION: After getting fired from seven jobs over the past year I told myself it was time to shape up.
3. (At the checkout stand, Trent bags groceries absent-mindedly, still looking like a zombie.)
CAPTION: Time to be part of the working class!
CAPTION: Time to contribute to society!
CAPTION: Time to--
VOICE (off panel): EXCUSE ME!
4. (An OLD WOMAN, looking towards us, is upset over the work Trent is doing.)
OLD WOMAN: Were you listening to anything I just said? I told you that I wanted double paper in plastic! I don't want my groceries spilling everywhere, do I?
5. (The old woman gets a few inches away from Trent's face.)
OLD WOMAN: AND LOOK! You're making the bags too heavy! I can already tell I won't be able to carry those!
PAGE 3:
1. (CLOSE UP on the old woman's mouth.)
OLD WOMAN: This is the worst service I have ever had!
OLD WOMAN: I want to speak to your manager!
2. (CLOSE UP on Trent's face, contorted with excessive rage.)
3. (INT. APARTMENT--DAY: ERIN, a petite girl in her early twenties with braided blonde hair, is sitting on her couch, reading a book. The phone next to her rings.)
SOUND: RING RING
4. (Erin answers the phone.)
ERIN: Hello?
PHONE: Hi? Erin? Hey, it's Mike.
ERIN: Oh, hey Mike. I think Trent's at work--
5. (INT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: MIKE, one of Trent's co-workers, is crouched behind a counter, talking nervously into the phone.)
MIKE: Yeah, that's what I'm calling about. You might wanna come down here to get him.
PHONE: Why? Is something wrong?
PAGE 4:
1. (TITLES PAGE. FULL PAGE SPLASH of Trent pointing an angry finger at the line of people at his checkout stand. Some of the people are scared, others are appalled. In the background we can see Mike peeking over the counter.)
TRENT: YOU INBRED, POP TART-EATING, DEGENERATE SCUM FUCKS!!!
MIKE: Uh...nothing you couldn't handle.
PAGE 5:
1. (Trent SLAMS the old woman across the face with a heavy stack of paper bags, knocking her off her feet.)
CAPTION: Hi! This is me unleashing 2 months worth of uncontrollable, pent up rage.
TRENT: Here's your bags you harpy!
SOUND: SMACK!
2. (Trent yells at a middle-aged woman with four crying kids.)
SOUND: WAAAH WAAAH
TRENT: Have a couple more kids! Maybe the Earth will become so much more overpopulated that the extra weight will knock it off its orbit, send it spinning into the sun AND END MY FUCKING MISERY!
3. (Trent turns to his MANAGER and ASSISTANT MANAGER. At this point Trent is more of a creature than a person, foaming at the mouth with eyes of red fury.)
TRENT: AND YOU! Who do YOU think YOU are, telling me what to do? I have a college degree! I'm an educated motherfucker!
TRENT: What do you have to show for your lives? Twenty years of doing the same thing every single fucking day?!
TRENT: YOU CALL THAT LIVING?!
4. (The manager stares blankly at Trent. The assistant manager breaks down and cries.)
ASSISTANT MANAGER: OH GAWD! It's true! *sob sob* All of it!
5. (CLOSE UP on Trent's face, showing the unstoppable juggernaut of hate and frustration that he is.)
TRENT: And just in case I haven't made it obvious enough yet...
PAGE 6:
1. (EXT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: WIDE SHOT of the store. All of the windows and glass doors shatter. Cars in the parking lot crash into each other. People run for their lives.)
TRENT (from inside the store): I QUIT!!!
2. (INT. ERIN'S CAR--DAY: An irritated Erin drives while Trent rants and raves in the passenger seat.)
CAPTION: LATER, AFTER A COWARDLY ESCAPE THROUGH THE BUSHES...
TRENT: There's got to be more to life than this! A human being is worth more than $5.75 an hour, especially if he has a Bachelor's Degree in psychology!
TRENT: All the experience that I have and those fucks had me bagging groceries! Bagging groceries! A monkey could do that. And I'm sorry, but I think I can handle more responsibility than a monkey!
ERIN: Obviously you can't. I cannot believe you did this again Trent. You told me--
3. (Trent gets excited as he looks out the window and sees a sign for CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOYS store pass by.)
TRENT: What's today?
ERIN: Wednesday. And could you not interrupt--
4. (EXT. STREET--DAY: Erin's car makes a chaotic U-turn in the middle of the road.)
TRENT (from inside the car): COMICS!!!
PAGE 7:
1. (EXT. CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOYS--DAY: EST. SHOT.)
2. (INT. CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOYS--DAY: Inside, the walls are racked with the latest comics, mixed in with pornos, dildos and blow up dolls. Trent is meticulously inspecting the comics on the rack. He already has a large stack in his hand. Erin waits behind him, bored out of her mind.)
ERIN: You can't afford to buy those Trent. You just lost your job, remember?
TRENT: This is the one thing that makes my harsh life tolerable Erin. Please, PLEASE leave me alone for just fifteen minutes, okay?
3. (CLOSE UP on Erin's face. She can't believe that Trent would talk to her the way he is.)
4. (Up at the front counter, THE COMIC BOOK SNOB, a scrawny Asian teen with bad teeth and ugly glasses, glares at Trent.)
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Wait. Did I hear right? Somebody's lost their job? Well, if you can't afford anything I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. No browsing.
5. (Trent slams his stack of comic books down in front of the Snob. The Snob holds up and looks at one of the comics.)
TRENT: Hello Comic Book Snob. Sorry to interrupt your masturbation break, but I need you to ring these up for me.
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Hmm...of course you'd be reading this after the movie made it so popular. Trend whore.
PAGE 8:
1. (Trent glares angrily at the Snob.)
TRENT: Fuck you Snob. I've been reading HELLBLAZER since Constantine showed up in SWAMP THING.
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Well, I guess it's better than the crap you tried to get published. BWAHAHAHA! I can't believe you actually submitted that junk to Marvel. I'll bet Brian Michael Bendis used it for toilet paper!
2. (Now Trent is really pissed. The Comic Book Snob's cocky expression doesn't change.)
TRENT: Think so bitch? I could write circles around you or anyone else. Anyone on this planet! And when I'm finished with what I'm working on, Marvel, DC, Image, Dark Horse--you name 'em--they'll all be begging me to work for them.
3. (The Snob is unimpressed.)
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Oh, so what? You're a full-time writer now? You think that because you're free of the bonds of employment that you'll have all the time in the world to just come up with a piece of work that's so good that you'll sell it to a major comic book company?
COMIC BOOK SNOB: You think someone would actually pay you to write?
4. (CLOSE UP on Trent's face. His eyes widen, as if he's just had a grand idea.)
5. (EXT. CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOY'S PARKING LOT--DAY: Trent walks towards us in a hurry, carrying his stack of comics. Erin follows behind him, annoyed at his behavior.)
TRENT: Hurry up Erin! I got shit that needs to be done NOW. I gotta get home.
TRENT: And when you drop me off, don't call me for a couple of hours, okay? I'm gonna be reading these.
6. (Trent stands at the passenger side of Erin's car. Erin is on the driver's side, looking for her keys.)
TRENT: If you want, you can bring me some food later. Just call first, but not until I'm done with my comics.
TRENT: Uh, babe? My hands are full. Little help?
PAGE 9:
1. (Erin looks up at Trent.)
ERIN: Trent, honey?
TRENT: Yeah?
2. (PROFILE SHOT of Erin screaming across her car at Trent.)
ERIN: WE ARE DONE ASSHOLE!!!
3. (Erin drives her car away, leaving Trent behind in a state of disbelief.)
4. (SAME SHOT AS PANEL 4, but now Trent is shaking an angry fist at Erin.)
ERIN: You're damn right we are lady! Lose my phone number!
5. (Trent looks directly at us. He's hunched over, rubbing his hands together, looking sinister. A shadow is cast over his face. He smiles wickedly. The background is dark with black clouds covering the sky and shooting lightning. Evil is engulfing the world.)
TRENT: Let her go Trent. You don't need her. You don't need anyone.
TRENT: Soon you'll show them all. Oh yes...show them all.
6. (FULL BODY SHOT of Trent, standing in a noble pose and radiating determination.)
TRENT: Yes! That's right world! I will become the best damn comic writer this spinning shitball has ever seen! My books will sell out everywhere! I'll be a god among the writing elite!
TRENT: Starting tomorrow, I AM A FULL-TIME WRITER!
PAGE 10:
1. (INT. TRENT'S BEDROOM--DAY: The place is a disaster. Trent is sleeping in an awkward position and snoring loudly. His alarm clock reads 2:00 PM.)
CAPTION: MONDAY
2. (INT. TRENT'S LIVING ROOM--DAY: Trent is lying on the couch with the TV remote in his hand, looking bored.)
CAPTION: TUESDAY
3. (Trent is pacing the living room, yelling on his phone.)
CAPTION: WEDNESDAY
TRENT: No! Fuck that! I don't care! JURASSIC PARK 3 was the best of the trilogy!
TRENT: Uh-huh...well you can shove your opinion up your ass mom.
TRENT: Will you stop calling me? I'm trying to write a comic book here!
4. (Trent is lying on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling.)
CAPTION: THURSDAY
TRENT (thought bubbles): If I invent a new food, can I patent it so that I get paid every time someone eats it?
TRENT (thought bubbles): How the fuck do you invent a food?
5. (Trent is yelling on the phone again.)
CAPTION: FRIDAY
TRENT: No, not the whole meal. Just, like, a base ingredient or something...yeah, how do I patent that?
TRENT: How do you not? No, I don't want the number for the fucking U. S. Patent Office. This is four-one-one. You should know these kinds of things!
TRENT: What's that supposed to mean mom? I'm bugging you at work? No...okay, now that's just rude. You know what? Put your supervisor on.
6. (Trent is sitting on his couch with his mouth full. The coffee table in front of him is littered with saltine crackers and their wrappers.)
CAPTION: SATURDAY AND SUNDAY
TRENT (thought bubbles): There's gotta be a way to eat four saltines at once in under a minute.
PAGE 11:
1. (INT. TRENT'S BEDROOM--NIGHT: Trent is sitting in front of his computer. He's only wearing a pair of boxer shorts.)
CAPTION: NEXT MONDAY
TRENT: Okay. Time to get this muthafucka rollin'!
2. (SAME AS PANEL 1, with Trent staring blankly at his computer screen.)
3. (SAME AS PANEL 2.)
4. (Trent lifts his arm up, sniffs his armpit and makes a disgusted face.)
TRENT: Whoa! That's a new smell. Better go take a shower.
5. (With a towel over his shoulder, Trent opens his bedroom door to find the Comic Book Snob waiting for him.)
COMIC BOOK SNOB: I knew you didn't have what it takes to be a writer. You're just another townie loser with no job, no girl and no life!
PAGE 12:
1. (Trent slams the door shut and stomps back to his computer.)
TRENT: Fuck my hygiene! I'll show that smug son-of-a-cum-guzzling-road-whore who's a loser!
2. (Trent types away furiously on his computer.)
TRENT: Okay. We open up on a tall building, surrounded by cops. The caption reads--
3. (EXT. OFFICE BUILDING IN PUNISHMENT CITY--NIGHT: Just as Trent was describing, we open up on a large office building surrounded by police. The sky is dark, filled with clouds and lightning. The POLICE CAPTAIN is screaming into a loud speaker he has aimed at the upper floors of the building.)
CAPTION: THE HELL THAT IS PUNISHMENT CITY
POLICE CAPTAIN: The building's surrounded! There is no fucking way you're getting away! Release the hostages and surrender now!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Hey guys. This is a new series I'm working on. It's about a comic book writer who's characters come to life in the real world. Not the most original idea, I know, but I needed an excuse to write these characters. Please feel free to critique the crap outta it.
PAGE 1:
1. (EXT. HIGH SCHOOL--DAY: MEDIUM SHOT of TRENT BENSON, a medium-sized teen with messy brown hair. He's dressed in a cap and gown, holding up his diploma with a forced smile on his face.)
CAPTION: Four years of high school...
2. (INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM--DAY: Trent is sitting at a desk, working furiously on a test.)
CAPTION: ...and five years of college.
3. (EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS--DAY: SAME SHOT AS PANEL 1, except Trent is 5 years older.)
CAPTION: Almost a decade of reading, studying, projects, tests and excruciating pressure...
4. (INT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: SAME SHOT AS PANEL 1, but now Trent is dressed in a grocery store uniform. The forced smile is replaced with a look of disgust.)
CAPTION: ...for this.
5. (PULL BACK to find Trent is bagging groceries at a checkout stand. There is a long line of people waiting on him.)
CAPTION: Fate is really taking its time fucking me up the ass here.
PAGE 2:
1. (EXT. VINNIE'S GROCERY PARKING LOT--DAY: Trent pushes a line of grocery carts through the lot. The expression on his face is dull and lifeless, like a zombie.)
CAPTION: But this time I'm gonna do good.
2. (INT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: In one of the aisles, Trent mops up a large puddle. His facial expression is the same as PANEL 1.)
CAPTION: After getting fired from seven jobs over the past year I told myself it was time to shape up.
3. (At the checkout stand, Trent bags groceries absent-mindedly, still looking like a zombie.)
CAPTION: Time to be part of the working class!
CAPTION: Time to contribute to society!
CAPTION: Time to--
VOICE (off panel): EXCUSE ME!
4. (An OLD WOMAN, looking towards us, is upset over the work Trent is doing.)
OLD WOMAN: Were you listening to anything I just said? I told you that I wanted double paper in plastic! I don't want my groceries spilling everywhere, do I?
5. (The old woman gets a few inches away from Trent's face.)
OLD WOMAN: AND LOOK! You're making the bags too heavy! I can already tell I won't be able to carry those!
PAGE 3:
1. (CLOSE UP on the old woman's mouth.)
OLD WOMAN: This is the worst service I have ever had!
OLD WOMAN: I want to speak to your manager!
2. (CLOSE UP on Trent's face, contorted with excessive rage.)
3. (INT. APARTMENT--DAY: ERIN, a petite girl in her early twenties with braided blonde hair, is sitting on her couch, reading a book. The phone next to her rings.)
SOUND: RING RING
4. (Erin answers the phone.)
ERIN: Hello?
PHONE: Hi? Erin? Hey, it's Mike.
ERIN: Oh, hey Mike. I think Trent's at work--
5. (INT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: MIKE, one of Trent's co-workers, is crouched behind a counter, talking nervously into the phone.)
MIKE: Yeah, that's what I'm calling about. You might wanna come down here to get him.
PHONE: Why? Is something wrong?
PAGE 4:
1. (TITLES PAGE. FULL PAGE SPLASH of Trent pointing an angry finger at the line of people at his checkout stand. Some of the people are scared, others are appalled. In the background we can see Mike peeking over the counter.)
TRENT: YOU INBRED, POP TART-EATING, DEGENERATE SCUM FUCKS!!!
MIKE: Uh...nothing you couldn't handle.
PAGE 5:
1. (Trent SLAMS the old woman across the face with a heavy stack of paper bags, knocking her off her feet.)
CAPTION: Hi! This is me unleashing 2 months worth of uncontrollable, pent up rage.
TRENT: Here's your bags you harpy!
SOUND: SMACK!
2. (Trent yells at a middle-aged woman with four crying kids.)
SOUND: WAAAH WAAAH
TRENT: Have a couple more kids! Maybe the Earth will become so much more overpopulated that the extra weight will knock it off its orbit, send it spinning into the sun AND END MY FUCKING MISERY!
3. (Trent turns to his MANAGER and ASSISTANT MANAGER. At this point Trent is more of a creature than a person, foaming at the mouth with eyes of red fury.)
TRENT: AND YOU! Who do YOU think YOU are, telling me what to do? I have a college degree! I'm an educated motherfucker!
TRENT: What do you have to show for your lives? Twenty years of doing the same thing every single fucking day?!
TRENT: YOU CALL THAT LIVING?!
4. (The manager stares blankly at Trent. The assistant manager breaks down and cries.)
ASSISTANT MANAGER: OH GAWD! It's true! *sob sob* All of it!
5. (CLOSE UP on Trent's face, showing the unstoppable juggernaut of hate and frustration that he is.)
TRENT: And just in case I haven't made it obvious enough yet...
PAGE 6:
1. (EXT. VINNIE'S GROCERY--DAY: WIDE SHOT of the store. All of the windows and glass doors shatter. Cars in the parking lot crash into each other. People run for their lives.)
TRENT (from inside the store): I QUIT!!!
2. (INT. ERIN'S CAR--DAY: An irritated Erin drives while Trent rants and raves in the passenger seat.)
CAPTION: LATER, AFTER A COWARDLY ESCAPE THROUGH THE BUSHES...
TRENT: There's got to be more to life than this! A human being is worth more than $5.75 an hour, especially if he has a Bachelor's Degree in psychology!
TRENT: All the experience that I have and those fucks had me bagging groceries! Bagging groceries! A monkey could do that. And I'm sorry, but I think I can handle more responsibility than a monkey!
ERIN: Obviously you can't. I cannot believe you did this again Trent. You told me--
3. (Trent gets excited as he looks out the window and sees a sign for CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOYS store pass by.)
TRENT: What's today?
ERIN: Wednesday. And could you not interrupt--
4. (EXT. STREET--DAY: Erin's car makes a chaotic U-turn in the middle of the road.)
TRENT (from inside the car): COMICS!!!
PAGE 7:
1. (EXT. CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOYS--DAY: EST. SHOT.)
2. (INT. CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOYS--DAY: Inside, the walls are racked with the latest comics, mixed in with pornos, dildos and blow up dolls. Trent is meticulously inspecting the comics on the rack. He already has a large stack in his hand. Erin waits behind him, bored out of her mind.)
ERIN: You can't afford to buy those Trent. You just lost your job, remember?
TRENT: This is the one thing that makes my harsh life tolerable Erin. Please, PLEASE leave me alone for just fifteen minutes, okay?
3. (CLOSE UP on Erin's face. She can't believe that Trent would talk to her the way he is.)
4. (Up at the front counter, THE COMIC BOOK SNOB, a scrawny Asian teen with bad teeth and ugly glasses, glares at Trent.)
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Wait. Did I hear right? Somebody's lost their job? Well, if you can't afford anything I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. No browsing.
5. (Trent slams his stack of comic books down in front of the Snob. The Snob holds up and looks at one of the comics.)
TRENT: Hello Comic Book Snob. Sorry to interrupt your masturbation break, but I need you to ring these up for me.
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Hmm...of course you'd be reading this after the movie made it so popular. Trend whore.
PAGE 8:
1. (Trent glares angrily at the Snob.)
TRENT: Fuck you Snob. I've been reading HELLBLAZER since Constantine showed up in SWAMP THING.
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Well, I guess it's better than the crap you tried to get published. BWAHAHAHA! I can't believe you actually submitted that junk to Marvel. I'll bet Brian Michael Bendis used it for toilet paper!
2. (Now Trent is really pissed. The Comic Book Snob's cocky expression doesn't change.)
TRENT: Think so bitch? I could write circles around you or anyone else. Anyone on this planet! And when I'm finished with what I'm working on, Marvel, DC, Image, Dark Horse--you name 'em--they'll all be begging me to work for them.
3. (The Snob is unimpressed.)
COMIC BOOK SNOB: Oh, so what? You're a full-time writer now? You think that because you're free of the bonds of employment that you'll have all the time in the world to just come up with a piece of work that's so good that you'll sell it to a major comic book company?
COMIC BOOK SNOB: You think someone would actually pay you to write?
4. (CLOSE UP on Trent's face. His eyes widen, as if he's just had a grand idea.)
5. (EXT. CAPTAIN CARNAGE'S COMIC BOOKS AND SEX TOY'S PARKING LOT--DAY: Trent walks towards us in a hurry, carrying his stack of comics. Erin follows behind him, annoyed at his behavior.)
TRENT: Hurry up Erin! I got shit that needs to be done NOW. I gotta get home.
TRENT: And when you drop me off, don't call me for a couple of hours, okay? I'm gonna be reading these.
6. (Trent stands at the passenger side of Erin's car. Erin is on the driver's side, looking for her keys.)
TRENT: If you want, you can bring me some food later. Just call first, but not until I'm done with my comics.
TRENT: Uh, babe? My hands are full. Little help?
PAGE 9:
1. (Erin looks up at Trent.)
ERIN: Trent, honey?
TRENT: Yeah?
2. (PROFILE SHOT of Erin screaming across her car at Trent.)
ERIN: WE ARE DONE ASSHOLE!!!
3. (Erin drives her car away, leaving Trent behind in a state of disbelief.)
4. (SAME SHOT AS PANEL 4, but now Trent is shaking an angry fist at Erin.)
ERIN: You're damn right we are lady! Lose my phone number!
5. (Trent looks directly at us. He's hunched over, rubbing his hands together, looking sinister. A shadow is cast over his face. He smiles wickedly. The background is dark with black clouds covering the sky and shooting lightning. Evil is engulfing the world.)
TRENT: Let her go Trent. You don't need her. You don't need anyone.
TRENT: Soon you'll show them all. Oh yes...show them all.
6. (FULL BODY SHOT of Trent, standing in a noble pose and radiating determination.)
TRENT: Yes! That's right world! I will become the best damn comic writer this spinning shitball has ever seen! My books will sell out everywhere! I'll be a god among the writing elite!
TRENT: Starting tomorrow, I AM A FULL-TIME WRITER!
PAGE 10:
1. (INT. TRENT'S BEDROOM--DAY: The place is a disaster. Trent is sleeping in an awkward position and snoring loudly. His alarm clock reads 2:00 PM.)
CAPTION: MONDAY
2. (INT. TRENT'S LIVING ROOM--DAY: Trent is lying on the couch with the TV remote in his hand, looking bored.)
CAPTION: TUESDAY
3. (Trent is pacing the living room, yelling on his phone.)
CAPTION: WEDNESDAY
TRENT: No! Fuck that! I don't care! JURASSIC PARK 3 was the best of the trilogy!
TRENT: Uh-huh...well you can shove your opinion up your ass mom.
TRENT: Will you stop calling me? I'm trying to write a comic book here!
4. (Trent is lying on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling.)
CAPTION: THURSDAY
TRENT (thought bubbles): If I invent a new food, can I patent it so that I get paid every time someone eats it?
TRENT (thought bubbles): How the fuck do you invent a food?
5. (Trent is yelling on the phone again.)
CAPTION: FRIDAY
TRENT: No, not the whole meal. Just, like, a base ingredient or something...yeah, how do I patent that?
TRENT: How do you not? No, I don't want the number for the fucking U. S. Patent Office. This is four-one-one. You should know these kinds of things!
TRENT: What's that supposed to mean mom? I'm bugging you at work? No...okay, now that's just rude. You know what? Put your supervisor on.
6. (Trent is sitting on his couch with his mouth full. The coffee table in front of him is littered with saltine crackers and their wrappers.)
CAPTION: SATURDAY AND SUNDAY
TRENT (thought bubbles): There's gotta be a way to eat four saltines at once in under a minute.
PAGE 11:
1. (INT. TRENT'S BEDROOM--NIGHT: Trent is sitting in front of his computer. He's only wearing a pair of boxer shorts.)
CAPTION: NEXT MONDAY
TRENT: Okay. Time to get this muthafucka rollin'!
2. (SAME AS PANEL 1, with Trent staring blankly at his computer screen.)
3. (SAME AS PANEL 2.)
4. (Trent lifts his arm up, sniffs his armpit and makes a disgusted face.)
TRENT: Whoa! That's a new smell. Better go take a shower.
5. (With a towel over his shoulder, Trent opens his bedroom door to find the Comic Book Snob waiting for him.)
COMIC BOOK SNOB: I knew you didn't have what it takes to be a writer. You're just another townie loser with no job, no girl and no life!
PAGE 12:
1. (Trent slams the door shut and stomps back to his computer.)
TRENT: Fuck my hygiene! I'll show that smug son-of-a-cum-guzzling-road-whore who's a loser!
2. (Trent types away furiously on his computer.)
TRENT: Okay. We open up on a tall building, surrounded by cops. The caption reads--
3. (EXT. OFFICE BUILDING IN PUNISHMENT CITY--NIGHT: Just as Trent was describing, we open up on a large office building surrounded by police. The sky is dark, filled with clouds and lightning. The POLICE CAPTAIN is screaming into a loud speaker he has aimed at the upper floors of the building.)
CAPTION: THE HELL THAT IS PUNISHMENT CITY
POLICE CAPTAIN: The building's surrounded! There is no fucking way you're getting away! Release the hostages and surrender now!
TO BE CONTINUED...