Tomb Raider page 3 rough

[joshm]

After some suggestions from Poboy I have finished a rough page of page 3. Let me know what you think.

Josh

http://www.comicbookculture.com/sample1/Tomb-raider-rough-3.jpg

[jkyle74]

I think you have too many straight on forward shots you need to vary your camera angle a bit more.

[joshm]

I might be able to do that with the first and fourth panels. Thanks for the post jkyle74.

Josh

[Poboy]

I think you have too many straight on forward shots you need to vary your camera angle a bit more.
Agreed. The last panel in particular is kind of eh. Needs some oomph.

[joshm]

I'm trying to think how to fix the last panel, but it is kind of a hard one to change, since it's just showing her buckle her belt. I'll have to think about it, which I have time to since I'm finishing up page two now.

Josh

[Boy]

First panel. Put the camera more straight behind her. If you picture a cube with Lara in the center swimming done, put the camera somewhere around the upper back left corner.

[joshm]

I'm not sure what you mean, but I'll think about it. I was just thinking that I needed an establishing shot of the background to show that she's now in the deep ocean and is swimming into a gave.

Josh

[Boy]

You would accomplish that by using my suggestion. Just put the camera behind her, but not straight on.

[joshm]

Boy,

You said in your first post "somewhere around the upper back left corner" and I would take this as putting the camera directly around her upper back. I'm thinking you meant, point the camera around her upper back, which would allow me to have my establishing shot still. Well, I'll give it a try. Thanks for the help.

Josh

[joshm]

Here is a revised version of rough page 3. I tried to follow some of the suggestions posted so far, but if I missed something let me know.

Thanks,

Josh

http://www.comicbookculture.com/sample1/Page-3-rough-b.jpg

[joshm]

Here is a better version of page 3 rough. I'm going to finish the final page today.

Josh

http://www.comicbookculture.com/sample1/page%203%20rough%20c.jpg

[joshm]

Finished page three. Critiques anyone?

http://www.comicbookculture.com/sample1/TR-page-3.jpg