Tomb Raider finished page

[joshm]

Here is my first and finished page of tomb raider. It's loosely based on the second movie "The Cradle Of Live." I'm just using some of the backgrounds in the movie to reference.

Josh

http://comicbookculture.com/sample1/tomb-raider-fin-1.jpg

[C Lefebvre]

The rendering is good, mostly. I think the arm extended in panel 2 perspective might need slight adjustment. I love the angle of panel 4! The biggest problem is the layout. When I got to panel 4, I don't know whether to read panel 5 or panel 6 because of your panel placement. My eye is immediately directed to Lara's sexy face in panel 6, even though I haven't yet read panel 5. What I suggest is, maybe direct the reader's attention to panel 5 with an arrow (I know it sounds cheezy but it works!) or with the help of your dialogue bubbles, you can drag the reader down to 5.

Good luck with your project!

Chris

[ariel]

Line work is good-- looks crisp. The figures are a bit stiff. The shoulder on the same side of the hip thats up goes down. Contropasto.

[joshm]

C Lefebvre: Thanks for commenting. I've seen the arrow thing before, but never on pencils. I'm going to finish the project before I start adding photoshop elements, but I'll keep it in mind. This would be the second time I've been told about the arm in panel two, so I'll have to try drawing it again and see what I'm doing wrong.

ariel: Good catch on the center of gravity, however, if you notice her hip is pressed against the ladder, so her center of gravity is now where the ladder and hip meet. I actually tried to have her lean against it, because the boat is moving and she's not going to be able to hold on with out moving from side to side. I may not have conveyed that well enough, but that is what I was going for. Thanks for the comments.

Josh