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Jay
05-31-2006, 08:04 PM
Thanks for that i have noted it. were the sentences too long in general or too long for a comic because it was not orginally supposed to be a comic thats why but i have seen the format and will try again.

Lewis
06-04-2006, 08:14 PM
My humble suggestions are to rewrite this into a more "comic friendly" style and be more focused grammatically. Some of your sentences ran on when you should have ended them which made reading it difficult.