"Ghost" sample script

[Biz]

I did this using the Dark Horse ample script. I wasn't happy with the first 2 pages, so I re-did them, and still aint happy :slap: . This was meant for SD Comic Con, but I found another script I wanna do, with more range...

http://www.biz20.biz/ghost/ghost_pg1.jpg
http://www.biz20.biz/ghost/ghost_pg2.jpg
http://www.biz20.biz/ghost/ghost_pg3.jpg
http://www.biz20.biz/ghost/ghost_pg4.jpg

[ariel]

Its very clean but I really dont understand whats happening in the last box on page 2 and after. Its took me a sec to figure out that they stoped in fron of the hobo too.

[Poboy]

Ariel, They didn't stop in front of the hobo. In the script, at the end of page 2, ghost goes into some parallel dimension, then remembers something.
I was thinking about doing one of this script too, but I've never read Ghost so I'm lost.

Page 1, panel 1 it doesn't really look like a street in the bad side of town. It looks a lot like a business/warehouse park.
Page 2, the big shot of Ghost looks off perspective-wise and her head doesn't look round. The panel with the bum's legs looks like he's just standing there watching them. It's weird for him to be running away from them and then stopping.
The last two pages are the strongest. It makes the first two look like you were bored drawing them but got interested after.
Panel 1, I'd include the 'shimmer' from the previous panel in the b.g. somewhere. I like the shot, and the details.
Also, if I remember right, there's supposed to be more of the flashback. As is, it looks like a random panel from another comic snuck in. Like in a Scooby Doo cartoon where they pose as a statue when the monster runs by.
Cool shots in the panels with the demon. Dynamic, cool poses, and good anatomy.

[ariel]

Well I like the ho bo. I was saying the car stops in front of the hobo

[bezelleo]

Wow! These are great! I really love the layout and the action in these scenes. Sorry I can't offer any solid crits. I'm a stinkin writer. But awesome job! Me likes. :thumbs:

[Biz]

thanx guys. The first 2 pages DO look uninspired compared to the last 2, thats why im not happy with them. Another thing is that the first 2 pages had way more text than the last 2, so they look kinda empty cuz of that. thanx again

[scherzo]

Hmmmm...the force is strong in this one...

Slick work as usual. Among the nicest sequentials I've ever seen posted here actually. I'd totally buy your stuff. Tell Dark Horse I said so. :bounce:

-scherzo

[Kris Justice]

I like them, the pages get better as they go along, not sure if you drew them in order or not though. First one is very sparse and suffers for it i think, the b/g's just aren't there or working for it. 3rd page is my favourite, very nice. I'd be interested to see more of your work, speaking as an inker looks like it'd be fun too to work on.

Thanks for sharing,
Kris.

[Mark Bertolini]

Nice work, I like your style. Post some pics of the other script you worked on too.

[sneed]

Luv the way you rendered the hands. . .

The babe has power!!!

I like the bum-fella

sneed

:)

[ariel]

Thee first 2 pages are my fav I dont know hmmm....

[WOLVIE]

It has a Chris Bachalo feel to it. Nice!

[Biz]

:happy: :happy: :happy:

[Michael Woods]

Nice. I like your style. :)