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ryanscottottney
05-18-2006, 09:35 PM
These are various writings I have done over the past few months, examing some inner demons and things I'm not particularly proud of.

NEVERMORE

November, 1996. I graduated high school only a few months ago, and finally I felt a little more in control of my own life. Nevermore bound by those petty high school cliques that made my life miserable.

My younger brother, Chris, on the other hand was my exact opposite. He was fifteen-years old, and he loved being involved with school activities and social events. I was never really jealous of his social life, but there were times that I wanted to do those things too.

I was always too afraid to put myself out there. I felt a darkness within me that frightened me, and I didn’t want anyone to see it. Instead I stayed hidden in my room – nose buried into my art tablet. My art was my escape. It was something that my grandfather had taught me as a small child, and I have carried it with me ever since.

On that cold November evening, Chris had asked me to drive him to pick up his friend, Josh, and take them both to the high school basketball game. I was good friends with Josh’s brother, Brandon, so it gave me a reason to go see my friend too, and I agreed to take them. Brandon was one of my oldest friends.

As we left Josh’s house that night, I could hear them talking in the car. Theirs was a story as old as high school itself, but it was one that I was never myself a part of. All I ever did was watch as everyone else had fun.

Why couldn’t I be like that? A part of me buried deep inside always wanted to break away and be as reckless and free as teenagers are supposed to be.

We drove toward the highway. Music too loud. They said something to me. I don’t remember what it was, but I responded by accelerating the car. Driving faster. I’m sure it was all in fun. Scare the kids a little! They were laughing. I drove faster. The music was loud. I was lost inside everything for a moment.

But it only takes a moment to miss a stop sign.

There was a noise – a chaotic choir of screeching tires, wrenching metal and screams.

And then nothing.

Eulogies play in my mind. I should be dead now. I think I am.

Memories carry me into the past, and I’m a child again. No more than three-years old. I’m at the kitchen table, listening to my parents arguing. I don’t know what they were arguing about, but the anger in the room consumes everything it touches like a gluttonous demon sent just for me.

I’m sitting on my mother’s lap as she and my father argue, but I can’t remember what they’re saying. Maybe I don’t want to.

I’m scared. Hiding beneath the table now as they argue back and forth, as if the physical shelter of the table could protect me from the emotional damage that surrounds me. Those four wooden legs become my shelter, and in many ways, I suppose, I’m still under that table today.

Violently then the image changed again, like a skipping record, randomly searching for a beat – or the musing of the damned made to know his chains. Everything was spinning.

It’s 1986. Chris is very sick and my parents have taken him to Children’s Hospital in Columbus to be checked out. I’m only eight-years old. Too young to know how worried I should be.

I can’t remember the exact moment when they told me what was wrong – that Chris had been diagnosed with Leukemia. I’m too young to know what it means anyway. But I did know that he’s very sick, and the older I get, the longer my parents stay away with Chris in the hospital. I begin to understand the seriousness of the situation.

Time passes slowly by my feet, and I start wondering why my parents couldn’t be there with me. I know Chris is sick, but when you’re eight-years old you just can’t see the world through those eyes.

Over time I begin to withdraw within myself. I feel like I’m on my own. Whether or not I am alone, really … it doesn’t matter. I feel it, and that makes it true to me.

Eventually this moment would pass like before. Made to see my life, but not to keep. Searching the archives of my brain for dusty records long forgotten.

It’s 1987. My parents have just picked me up from my friend’s house where I had spent the night. It was only across the street. I could have walked home. But as I get into the car, there was an eerie silence to loud not to hear. I ask where we were going, but there were no answers. They all look straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact with me. Afraid that whoever acknowledges my curiosity will have to be the one to answer me.

I keep asking, in that persistently annoying way that nine-year olds often do. Finally after several blocks, my father pulls over and looks into the backseat … and tells me that my grandfather has died.

They knew that this would be hard for me. My grandfather and I were very close. He taught me how to draw and that sparked my creativity which later in life became the foundation for who I was. My art, his gift to me, was one of the only things I felt I had that was really mine, and I would use it to get through moments of pain in my life.

And the man who gave that to me was gone. I’m not sure who I’ll be now.

Ripped again from this time! Unclear why these images have been laid before me as a fearful feast, but this specter had more to show me.

I’m in high school again. I never really did much in school. I have friends in almost every clique, but I never really feel like I belong to any them myself. So when the weekends come, and most of my friends are out partying, getting drunk or whatever, I stay home.

Alone.

In later years I would come to discover that some of them believed that I thought I was too good to do any of that stuff – as if I felt somehow better than them. It bothers me a little to think that I might have come off that way, but it also makes me laugh when I realized how little my so-called friends knew me. I had a lot of problems in high school, but self-importance was never one of them.

None of them realized, and today still don’t realize, that I simply didn’t feel welcome at their parties. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. I don’t like dance music and I don’t trust crowds. I was always an outsider to them. I don’t fit in.

I can’t say that I don’t want to be with them. I think that I do. But something held me back. I just never felt comfortable around them. Like I didn’t belong there. Maybe I was too sheltered as child. Afraid to leave the table and see what exists outside.

Whatever it is, I just hate going to school. I hate their cliques, I hate the school work, and I hate being told what to do. I have no control over my life. I feel rejected and awkward. I am sick of feeling abandoned, enslaved, restricted, and alone. A teenager simply doesn’t have the ability to process these kind of feelings. He hasn’t been in the tunnel long enough to see the light at the other end.

But I’m done with it all!

There’s rarely a day goes by that I don’t consider suicide. Not one!

There were times I would think in great detail how I’d do it. What would be the most painless way to go? I remember thinking about the pills I could take. Twelve gel-capped sirens that would gently sing me to sleep.

Or maybe a gun. Do it right, and it might be quick enough. I can feel its handle gripped tightly in the palm of my hand, as what remains of my life rests in the nervous twitch of a finger. I could almost taste the barrel in my mouth. Bitter and stale, pressing into my palate, digging a hole into my brain.

But they’re all nothing more than the well laid out plans of a lost boy. It’s amazing how the insignificant troubles of a teenager can seem so hopeless that he’d wish to take his own life.

I’m tired now. Tired of being rejected and alone. Tired of feeling abandoned, even by my own God who can’t be bothered to answer my cries for help!

Tired of being ignored! Desperately seeking the answers to find my way through this, but still afraid to ask for help! Afraid of facing myself and what it means to stand teetering on the edge of existence. All I need are answers to get me through!

But nothing comes. God, I want to die!

Dark memories can twist a young mind. But it’s all over now. I’m back in the car with Chris and Josh on that dark highway buried between the hills of southern Ohio. Only seconds had passed – maybe less.

All of those painful memories - my entire life I had been numb to it all. But now, tonight, it was time to wake up. I could feel it all again, and I hurt more than I ever could have imagined. I missed being numb to the pains and the joys of life.

I could hear Josh in the backseat screaming in pain, but I wasn’t screaming. I hadn’t really noticed that until this moment. It was almost as if I had to be aware enough to see what was happening around me. To know it -- and to own it.

I looked over at Chris in the passenger seat. His head had crashed through the window and he sat lumped forward in his seat, unconscious; his innocent face peaking through the crimson curtain that covered him.

Staring at his lifeless body I had only one thought – I killed him.

I forced myself out of the car and somehow found the strength to get Josh out and lay him on the side of the road, and then I went back for Chris. I reached for him, but he fell limp in his seat as I bumped against him. I heard him mumbling words of nonsense. I knew he was still alive … for the moment. .

I had a cracked sternum, from the seatbelt, and a broken arm and leg. I still don’t quite know how, but I managed to run up a hill to call for help. I was afraid. The road had a stench of death and I knew it wouldn’t be long before it arrived for Chris.

But death wasn't the villain tonight. I was.

Our ride had ended, and everyone survived the wreck – even Chris. He doesn’t remember the accident, and I’m glad. I would not wish that memory on anyone … least of all my brother. This was not for him to know. This was my intervention.

They tell me it’s a miracle that nobody died. But I was never the same person again. I felt it deep inside of me. It hit me with all the force of a massive high-speed collision and twisted me into something else unrecognizable.

I know now that all those years … I never really wanted to die. You can’t kill what’s already dead inside. What I really wanted was to live. I wanted to escape my chains and my fears and my pain and be more than I was.

I wanted to be alive!

I was reborn on that day, and rarely a day goes by that I don’t think about the hard lesson I learned. I was given a chance to see myself: self-destructive and broken. It took a walk with death to see that.

And now I can never forget how quickly the ride could end, and what might lie at the end of the road.

Six Days
On the first day I saw light - awoken from the hollow.
On the second I drew first breath, within a sea of sorrow.

On the third I found the shore - firm to help me stand.
On the fourth my dark moon set, and now I stood a man.

On the fifth I knew her touch - two souls becoming one.
On the sixth day God gave us you - our first and cherished son.

But on the seventh he lay rest, and with him you must go.
Six days was all we had with you. Six days was all we'd know.

Six days of love to save us from the darkening of our souls,
Six days to hold a lifetime of a child left untold.


Tired
I'm so tired. Sitting in my room, alone in my silence. The soft hum of
my computer gently sings my mind into submission as I slowly fade away
into myself.

Thoughts pass through my head. Images of things that never were and
never should be paint the backdrop of my dreams and carry me away -- and I'm lost in its chaotic calm.

I quickly open my eyes, forgetting for a moment that I can't let myself
close them for even a moment because of the monsters that lie in wait
within. Every night I see them as they wait for me to bring them what
they need.

They wait for me to give myself over to them, and lose myself in the
recesses of my hollow soul where they can confine my will and sever my
spirit.

OPEN YOUR EYES! Don't let them find you, don't let them catch you.
Don't give into them, even for a moment, lest you lose yourself.

I'm so tired.


Duality
He's watching me from behind closed eyes,
Living in moments between stolen breaths.
I can feel him inside of me even now.
Infecting my essence and raping my will.

I cut myself and watch him spill on the floor,
Screaming as he runs from my body in crimson footprints.
I exorcize the demon that swims throughout my veins,
And wash him from my soul and laugh at the sight.

The room goes dark as my eyes begin to close.
It's okay now.
It's safe to close them.
He is no longer with me.
I have killed the beast that haunts my shadows.

I sleep.


Unhappily Ever After
Once upon a time there was a magic land of life,
where all who come will know its joys and never fear or strife.
And paupers told to work hard and someday they may feast there,
where all the world will greet them, and life is always fair.

Children chasing butterflies down the road to see -
just what lies ahead in wait of all the wonders that may be.
No hunger here, no fear, no worry, and no pains of life -
when you give away yourself and offer only sacrifice.

Hard work and studies and constant care is the only way to find,
the wonders and the mysteries within the human mind.
And on that day when your time has come and you reach your journeys
end,
you'll find a wasteland of swindled souls and junkyards of broken men.


Last Witness
What will you see when death has caught you in your last minutes time?
When you look down into your own eyes, will you find a lifetime of
love?
Will you find wisdom of the world you leave behind, or purpose in your
pain?
Will you know why the sun sets and why we exist, or why it's all so
brief?
Or will your answers only frighten you more than the life you leave
behind?


What I Never Said
I'm sorry that I never had a chance to say hello.
I never had a chance to teach you all I've come to know.
I never got to show you how to loop your shoelace tied.
I never got to help you up when you would fall and cry.

I may have never smiled while I play with your little feet,
and never held you in my arms, and never watched you sleep.

Too many things were left undone but this I know is true -
Of all the words I never said, none were "I love you."

sacredsincomics
05-18-2006, 10:15 PM
Man, I've been crying at this.

Amazing Ryan. Inspiring.

So much of it reminds me of myself, except I haven't awoken yet. Maybe your story will help.

ryanscottottney
05-18-2006, 10:29 PM
Neither have I, really. I'm more stuck in a dream-coma between the two looking for a way out. But I'm glad you liked them.

I presented NEVERMORE in an undergraduate conference today, and it was almost funny to see the look on people's faces as I read it, because I got into full swing and really put my emotions into it.

I hate being this guy, but sometimes it works creatively.

I wonder if it's worth it.

jpruitt0692002
05-18-2006, 10:53 PM
wow....very intense stuff. I guess to detach myself emotionally because alot of this hit home also.... I want to talk about your writing style....Very fluid and easy to read. The way you wrote nevermore reminds me alot of Chuck Palinuiks style of writing...which he is one of my fave writers. the way you are short and breif about things but give enough detail really grabs your attention and makes you continue on. I also love how you jmp back to things that have already started to develop earlier on. great word choice and th way you describe certain instances such as when you were an infant hiding under the table........boy that stirred alot of emotions inside myself. I guess what i amtrying to say is, you definately have a way with words and being able to pull from your own life and put it onto to paper to share with the rest of the world takes a heck of a strong and confident person to do that......keep up the awesome work..........plus you are a fellow ohioan so i have to like it :)

Knuckles
05-19-2006, 12:37 PM
Wow! Nevermore was a very good tale. I really enjoyed it. But this part is confusing me:

Whatever it is, I just hate going to school. I hate their cliques, I hate the school work, and I hate being told what to do. I have no control over my life. I feel rejected and awkward. I am sick of feeling abandoned, enslaved, restricted, and alone. A teenager simply doesn’t have the ability to process these kind of feelings. He hasn’t been in the tunnel long enough to see the light at the other end.

But I’m done with it all!

There’s rarely a day goes by that I don’t consider suicide. Not one!

Are you going back to high school thinking again here? Because you just said that your done with all those feelings, if I'm not mistaken.

ryanscottottney
05-19-2006, 12:53 PM
The flashbacks are moments where my life is passing before my eyes after this car accident, and they're told in present tense to give the illusion that I'm actually there.

And when I say, "I'm done with it," I mean it as to say, "I'm not going to take this abuse anymore." It's like a moment when I begin to consider suicide as a way out - to stop the hurt.

Knuckles
05-19-2006, 03:36 PM
The flashbacks are moments where my life is passing before my eyes after this car accident, and they're told in present tense to give the illusion that I'm actually there.

And when I say, "I'm done with it," I mean it as to say, "I'm not going to take this abuse anymore." It's like a moment when I begin to consider suicide as a way out - to stop the hurt.

Oh, ok. I understand it now. Thanks.

stungun
05-21-2006, 07:34 PM
I saw one of the funniest (if one of the corniest) t-shirts on the writesnark.com:
It's the angst, babe. The angst.
That was almost as good as:
If one more person tells me I don't have a real job...


I'm gonna hurt 'em
Seriously though, why not be proud of it? If you want to let some of all that out, it's no thing.

This is part of the deal: suffering the swirling, nacreous clouds of pigeons that shower liqueous, green shitstorms; pooling up a sidewalk sea into which one dives for those few gleaming pearls to fodder the swine.

Mr. Blonde
05-21-2006, 07:54 PM
im sorry im sure it is good stuff but i got up to the point where you were contemplating suicide daily and had enough. not that it isnt a good piece of writing but its just so self indulgent, your obviously looking thorugh hindsight with these emotions especially as a child "the way nine year olds do" you didnt know this at age nine, nor when you were a child did you understand the fighting, neither would anyone at that age.

i cant be very critical of the writing becuase theres nothing wrong with it but the story is just too, ahh i dunno, it just seems like your being selfish about it. if all this happened at an age you could undertsand then fair enough, but as a child your far more resiliant to these things. im not trying to devalue your emotions or your entitlment to your expression but it just came across as pathetic in places, a crippling social disorder wont get better if you stay in your room and avoid people, and saying that its hardly a mental issue not having loads of friends, it takes the ability to be normal and except that your nervous about it and just get on with it. and then suicide, which is just the most pathetic piece of crap ever, its completely selfish.

like i said the writing is great youve invoked a powerful reaction in me, but im afriad its a negative one. i will read your poems later, these comments are all based around nevermore. just my feelings on the story, nothing personal man ;)

ryanscottottney
05-21-2006, 10:58 PM
Suicide is pathetic, I agree. That's the point of the story. If you had kept reading you'd have come to the part of my realization of that.

And yes, it is self-indulgent. It's a memoir piece - it's supposed to be about me and the reflection of my past.

Mr. Blonde
05-21-2006, 11:03 PM
Suicide is pathetic, I agree. That's the point of the story. If you had kept reading you'd have come to the part of my realization of that.

And yes, it is self-indulgent. It's a memoir piece - it's supposed to be about me and the reflection of my past.

sorry man, i was a little tired earlier and more so now and from the responses i was expecting something different. i will look at it with that in mind tomorrow and give you a fresh opinion, sorry if i appeared insulting in any way

ryanscottottney
05-22-2006, 12:49 AM
No, you didn't come off as insulting. A little unclear about the piece, but not insulting.

sacredsincomics
05-22-2006, 02:23 AM
im sorry im sure it is good stuff but i got up to the point where you were contemplating suicide daily and had enough. not that it isnt a good piece of writing but its just so self indulgent, your obviously looking thorugh hindsight with these emotions especially as a child "the way nine year olds do" you didnt know this at age nine, nor when you were a child did you understand the fighting, neither would anyone at that age.

i cant be very critical of the writing becuase theres nothing wrong with it but the story is just too, ahh i dunno, it just seems like your being selfish about it. if all this happened at an age you could undertsand then fair enough, but as a child your far more resiliant to these things. im not trying to devalue your emotions or your entitlment to your expression but it just came across as pathetic in places, a crippling social disorder wont get better if you stay in your room and avoid people, and saying that its hardly a mental issue not having loads of friends, it takes the ability to be normal and except that your nervous about it and just get on with it. and then suicide, which is just the most pathetic piece of crap ever, its completely selfish.

like i said the writing is great youve invoked a powerful reaction in me, but im afriad its a negative one. i will read your poems later, these comments are all based around nevermore. just my feelings on the story, nothing personal man ;)

I agree a little on a number of your comments but not all. I myself find Ryans story personal, it resonates with me. I like the the type of story as much if not more than the quality of writing.

And obviously it must resonate with you in one way or another, or you wouldn't find it negative, and you'd be commenting more on the quality of the writing and not the type of story.

I don't want to sabotage this thread or try and start an argument, but I found this particular comment had no real thought behind it.

it just came across as pathetic in places, a crippling social disorder wont get better if you stay in your room and avoid people, and saying that its hardly a mental issue not having loads of friends, it takes the ability to be normal and except that your nervous about it.

Not everyone is the same. What is normal? Just because one person doesn't make friends because he's shy or nervous, doesn't mean the next person doesn't make friends because of that same reason. There are other reasons.

ryanscottottney
05-22-2006, 02:31 AM
It all comes down to what I wrote ...
I know now that all those years … I never really wanted to die. You can’t kill what’s already dead inside. What I really wanted was to live. I wanted to escape my chains and my fears and my pain and be more than I was.

I wanted to be alive!
... and I think that is ultimately at the root of every suicidal case.

Mr. Blonde
05-22-2006, 10:25 AM
fair shout boys, i dunno when i read it it just seemed a self indulgent piece and i thought whilst it was good writing it made me think well i know people whove gone through a lot worse and never once contemplate3d suicide and it makes me annoyed to see somebody talk this way. on second reading the whole arc of the story justifies this and it is very good, its just the initial build up of events got me the first time round thinking negatively. the story is well written and i like it on the whole, but my initial response remains unchanged.

i dont think im an idiot but six days didnt seem to have a claer point maybe someone could clarify.

tired is good very nice patern bringing back the im so tired at the end after setting up you cant fall asleep, i liked it.

Duality starts off well but the idea of killing a beast inside you didnt really have the same effect as tired because the beast wasnt as clarified, exactly what is happening to you to make you end your life? "raping your will" just didnt seem dire enough, what was it doing? its still a good idea but i felt there wasnt enough emphasis on how much pain you were going through

again i liked the idea in unhappily ever after but it is unclear, in a magical place youll work your whole life to wind up in just the opposite, its hard to take what kind of comment you are making?

last witness is a nice idea, not as good as the others.

the last one is great a nice confessional and emotional as well, good stuff.

ryanscottottney
05-22-2006, 12:07 PM
"Six Days" and "What I Never Said" are about the recent loss of mine and my wife's first (and thus far only) pregnancy. The first one is told mirroring the 7 days of creation told in the bible, and the last one ... well, that's pretty obvious.

The beast in "Duality" is me, like a thing inside of my that I can't control, until I release it by slicing my wrists. I feel better when it's gone, but it's killed me.

"Unhappily Ever After" addresses the myth that everyone's told - that if we work hard and study we can have everything we want in life. The American Dream, or whatever. But in reality, you get nothing. There is no American Dream. You work hard and sacrifice, and in the end you find you've been duped.

"Last Witness" is also pretty obvious - what will you see at the moment of death? Will you find all the answers to life, or will you only find darkness?

ryanscottottney
05-22-2006, 12:16 PM
i thought whilst it was good writing it made me think well i know people whove gone through a lot worse and never once contemplate3d suicide and it makes me annoyed to see somebody talk this way.
But you have to understand the mindset of someone in this position. Especially a teenager. It's true that there are far worse problems in the world, but that doesn't make your problem any easier on you.

I think I addressed the insignificance of it all when I wrote the following lines ...
Over time I begin to withdraw within myself. I feel like I’m on my own. Whether or not I am alone, really … it doesn’t matter. I feel it, and that makes it true to me.
A teenager simply doesn’t have the ability to process these kind of feelings. He hasn’t been in the tunnel long enough to see the light at the other end.
It’s amazing how the insignificant troubles of a teenager can seem so hopeless that he’d wish to take his own life.
I think all of that acknowledge how insignificant things really were, in hindsight, but how at the time I just couldn't see that.

Knuckles
05-22-2006, 12:59 PM
im sorry im sure it is good stuff but i got up to the point where you were contemplating suicide daily and had enough. not that it isnt a good piece of writing but its just so self indulgent, your obviously looking thorugh hindsight with these emotions especially as a child "the way nine year olds do" you didnt know this at age nine, nor when you were a child did you understand the fighting, neither would anyone at that age.



I'm not trying to pick on the noob here, but this statement is kind of ridiculous. If I'm understanding what you are saying, then how does a nine year old not know that their parents are fighting. Nine year old might not fully understand why they are fighting, but they understand that the fighting is not good. It is why children of divorce or abuse situations, which this story does not explain what it was, have more social problems. You have to remember that children are like sponges, they absorb everything that you do or say as a parent.

ryanscottottney
05-22-2006, 01:26 PM
Actually, I think I said I was three when I was in the room with them arguing. But Knuckles' point still stands. A child may not always understand words, but you ALWAYS understand tone, and you can sense tension in a room.

It's very frightening for a child, particularly BECAUSE he's so young and can't understand completely.

Also, that was an isolated moment in time, but by no means was the ONLY time it happened. It's meant to just profile moments and themes in my life.

Lastly, this is a forum about writing. I'll entertain any writing critiques, but let's not get into the psychology of whether or not what I'm saying is possible. It is possible. I was there.

But let's stick this to writing critiques, please.

Mr. Blonde
05-22-2006, 01:36 PM
the psychology side was of the fact that even though a child will understand there is fighting going on, unless it is constant or abusive to the child then a child wouldnt think any more of it than seeing a scary picture or hurting their knee...especially since he was three.

as a writing critique i meant to address that as a moment to flash before your eyes it seemed unnatural to analyse an instance like that at three years old as deep as you were, my point earlier about you talking in hindsight adding more to it than was there. Ive done it myself in real life, my parents got divorced a while back and in arguments following i held more against them for it tahn i actually felt at the time. that was my point.

if i didnt express it well it was probably because i was very tired yesterday and wasnt writing clearly, but if that point isnt valid well fair enough thats your view.

ryanscottottney
05-22-2006, 01:45 PM
as a writing critique i meant to address that as a moment to flash before your eyes it seemed unnatural to analyse an instance like that at three years old as deep as you were
It's not me at three who's analyzing the situation. I mean, I'm there, and I am three physically, but it's like I'm watching life through my own eyes and reliving these moments as a way to refelct upon them. Being shown enough to trace a pattern in my life.

I'm not suggesting that a three year old was analyzing the situation. I'm saying that I was taken back to when I was three, to witness some of the problem, so that I could see the damages around me and be made to understand it.

At this moment of near death, images flash before you so you can understand something, and it seems like a lifetime but then it's all taken away and you realize it's only been a few seconds. That's where I am in the story. At the moment of near death, being shown images from my past, to better understand my present.

I thought I covered that in lines like ...
Eventually this moment would pass like before. Made to see my life, but not to keep. Searching the archives of my brain for dusty records long forgotten.
and
Ripped again from this time! Unclear why these images have been laid before me as a fearful feast, but this specter had more to show me.

Mr. Blonde
05-22-2006, 01:54 PM
ahhh well thats fair enough my original view has obviously tainted the reread somewhat, havent had a near death experience myself so i wouldnt know. as i said i liked the writing anyway, so as a writing critique its good. kudos :cool:

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