Mark Bertolini
05-16-2006, 03:39 PM
I posted a rough attempt at this a long time ago, and it's been in my head ever since. I like this story, and I hope you all do to.
If not, rip me apart because I need the practive. Thanks.
Magnum Opus
Page 1
1/ Establishing shot of the sun-baked desert (we're just outside Las Vegas). The sun is brutally blaring down, the ground is hard-packed dirt and very little vegetation.
2/ Mid-sized shot of the back of a man. He is wearing a white leisure suit. The sun glares off of his bald head. He is looking down slightly in front of him, his left hand is on his hip and his right hand is in front of him, obscured by his body.
3/ Same as 2, only his urine has become visible between his spread legs.
4/ Close-up on his face. He's an older man, probably approaching his 60s. He's wearing dark sunglasses, and his face is tipped back, towards the sun, a slight smile on his face while he pees. This is our "hero", NICODEMUS REX.
REX: AHHH…
Page 2
1/ Same as page 1, panel 2, only he's zipping up now.
2/ Profile shot of his face as he turns to look over his right shoulder towards the reader.
REX: WELL? SHALL WE GO?
3/ Cut to a young man, early 20s, sitting in the driver's seat of a rusty, banged-up convertible. He's obviously not happy at sitting there in the hot sun, and his face shows it.
This is ALEX YOUNG.
ALEX: YEAH, WE SHALL GO. IT'S ABOUT ****ING TIME. YOU PISS LIKE OLD PEOPLE ****.
4/ Rex steps close to the car, looking down at Alex.
REX: I AM OLD PEOPLE, ALEX.
Page 3
1/ Close-up on Alex, who's jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
ALEX: WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THEM?
2/ Shot of the back seat of the convertible, where a young man and a young woman are very dead, both shot in the middle of their foreheads.
3/ Close-up on Rex's face, his sunglasses down on his nose so he can look over the top of them. He's got old eyes, but sharp and snake-like.
REX: WHAT'S THIS "WE" BUSINESS?
4/ Alex looks up at Rex.
ALEX: WELL, WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE. THEY'RE STARTING TO SMELL.
5/ Small shot of Rex looking off into the distance, amused.
REX: THERE'S A SHOVEL IN THE TRUNK. START DIGGING.
Page 4
1/ Alex looks pissed, he's starting to get out of the car, doing what he's told even though he doesn't want to.
ALEX: WHY DO I HAVE TO BURY THEM? YOU SHOT THEM!
2/ Large shot of Rex's face, all the humor in it now gone, eyes narrowed as he stares at Alex.
REX: THAT'S RIGHT. I SHOT THEM. THAT'S THE MAN'S WORK. NOW YOU GET TO BURY THEM. THAT'S THE BITCH WORK. SO GET DIGGING, BITCH.
3/ Alex opens the trunk to get the shovel.
ALEX (mumbles) HRRRMM….BULLSHIT…HRRMM
4/ Rex climbs into the passenger seat and lights a cigarette.
REX: AND HURRY IT UP. IT'S ****ING HOT OUT HERE.
If not, rip me apart because I need the practive. Thanks.
Magnum Opus
Page 1
1/ Establishing shot of the sun-baked desert (we're just outside Las Vegas). The sun is brutally blaring down, the ground is hard-packed dirt and very little vegetation.
2/ Mid-sized shot of the back of a man. He is wearing a white leisure suit. The sun glares off of his bald head. He is looking down slightly in front of him, his left hand is on his hip and his right hand is in front of him, obscured by his body.
3/ Same as 2, only his urine has become visible between his spread legs.
4/ Close-up on his face. He's an older man, probably approaching his 60s. He's wearing dark sunglasses, and his face is tipped back, towards the sun, a slight smile on his face while he pees. This is our "hero", NICODEMUS REX.
REX: AHHH…
Page 2
1/ Same as page 1, panel 2, only he's zipping up now.
2/ Profile shot of his face as he turns to look over his right shoulder towards the reader.
REX: WELL? SHALL WE GO?
3/ Cut to a young man, early 20s, sitting in the driver's seat of a rusty, banged-up convertible. He's obviously not happy at sitting there in the hot sun, and his face shows it.
This is ALEX YOUNG.
ALEX: YEAH, WE SHALL GO. IT'S ABOUT ****ING TIME. YOU PISS LIKE OLD PEOPLE ****.
4/ Rex steps close to the car, looking down at Alex.
REX: I AM OLD PEOPLE, ALEX.
Page 3
1/ Close-up on Alex, who's jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
ALEX: WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THEM?
2/ Shot of the back seat of the convertible, where a young man and a young woman are very dead, both shot in the middle of their foreheads.
3/ Close-up on Rex's face, his sunglasses down on his nose so he can look over the top of them. He's got old eyes, but sharp and snake-like.
REX: WHAT'S THIS "WE" BUSINESS?
4/ Alex looks up at Rex.
ALEX: WELL, WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE. THEY'RE STARTING TO SMELL.
5/ Small shot of Rex looking off into the distance, amused.
REX: THERE'S A SHOVEL IN THE TRUNK. START DIGGING.
Page 4
1/ Alex looks pissed, he's starting to get out of the car, doing what he's told even though he doesn't want to.
ALEX: WHY DO I HAVE TO BURY THEM? YOU SHOT THEM!
2/ Large shot of Rex's face, all the humor in it now gone, eyes narrowed as he stares at Alex.
REX: THAT'S RIGHT. I SHOT THEM. THAT'S THE MAN'S WORK. NOW YOU GET TO BURY THEM. THAT'S THE BITCH WORK. SO GET DIGGING, BITCH.
3/ Alex opens the trunk to get the shovel.
ALEX (mumbles) HRRRMM….BULLSHIT…HRRMM
4/ Rex climbs into the passenger seat and lights a cigarette.
REX: AND HURRY IT UP. IT'S ****ING HOT OUT HERE.